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Reviews for Firework

By : KusanoSaku
  • From BAFan on December 14, 2014
    Ch. 9

    Wow. That was quite an outburst from Severus, in a very public place too. Seems very out of character for him and actually kind of inappropriate, given that Harry was being transported to the Infirmary. Can't really see Madame Pomfrey just standing there and allowing first Draco and then Snape to delay her patient getting treatment.
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  • From BAFan on December 14, 2014
    Ch. 7

    This is an interesting story. I remember reading some of it a while ago, but for some reason it fell off my radar until now. I don't care for the way Ron seems to be heading in this, but Insanely Jealous Ron is almost a cliche so I'm resigned to it. :-) I only hope Hermione reacts better.

    This is one error you make consistently, which is using "then" instead of "than."

    "Harry closed his eyes, hating himself because he wanted more then that." More THAN that.

    "'Of course you didn't mean to. Anymore then I meant to blow out all the windows in the North Wing of the Manor.' Draco said softly. . . ." Any more THAN I meant to.

    THAN is used for making comparisons. Use "then" when referring to time: Harry smiled first, and then he laughed out loud.


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  • From ANON - e.pressnell on November 28, 2014
    i love this fanfic !!
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  • From ANON - staar on September 16, 2014
    OMG your writing is awesome !!!!! I'm so hooked on the story please please update this don't leave it it's so good !!!!!!!!!
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  • From Arithmancer on February 09, 2014
    I love this story and hope you are able to move Harry into a more positive future
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  • From ANON - heartstar on June 01, 2013
    oh I hope you are still writing this I would love to see more please thank you
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  • From bloodshound on May 30, 2013
    poor har is a mess. at least most of it's fixable.
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  • From ANON - reader on May 29, 2013
    another great story update soon.
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  • From ANON - Anon on May 29, 2013
    one of your chapters has a srsly long title, might wanna fix that.
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  • From Jan on February 03, 2013
    Poor Harry, please update chapter 22.
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  • From bloodshound on January 21, 2013
    har needs a lot of work to bring him back to health... i'm glad he has people willing to do it. i look forward to seeing har when they're done. Magical Britain won't know what's hit them.
    remi would be an awesome alpha... just got to get him off his butt, out there and doing it.
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  • From ANON - steve on January 10, 2013
    sorry but i hate the way you turn ron into a monster, i thougth maybe harry would take a long time to turst ron again but for you to turn him into a monster.
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  • From teriwright on January 10, 2013
    i'm enjoying the story, but i get frustrated when authors put harry through the wringer but offer no surcease even with means mentioned in their own story. For example, you mention mad-eye, who has lost an eye due to dark magic but was able to get a replacement magical eye. Why can't harry have the same thing? His eye was lost to an injury that mimics dark magic, he should be healed like other characters in your story. This story started with Mind Healing and has been about a month in the timeline, but he still hasn't seen a healer? Severus and Remus are not living up to the responsibilities they have taken on. They are leaving his mental health in the hands of Draco, a child with no training.

    I do look forward to reading more of this AU and finding out the reasons Dumbles is so blase about Harry and other students safety.
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  • From ANON - delia cerrano on January 09, 2013
    Yes an update! Harry's eye is still ruined...maybe Sev's potion/charm that was mentioned could help? Scars are bad enough & thinking he couldn't come as a normal male but his beautiful green eye?? Harry has a lot of powerful & wiley people protecting him now but I love how Draco is his chief protector and treats him like he is the angel he sees him as. He needs a lot of that to make up for what he's gone through. Also to become the strong smart loving person he was meant to be not someone's pawn or plaything.
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  • From undeademopixi on December 22, 2012
    Ok, so normally I don't like the more angsty stories, but I think it works here and I love the relationship you created for harry and draco. A few pieces of constructive crit...

    1.Try to show not tell, there are parts where it feels more like you are writing a list or a geneology report, and that (while important) can detract from the flow of the story.

    2.While I like that the characters have completely redone personalities, try to avoid letting them ramble. Even if the character types you have created are more open and honest, the rambling can make it hard to follow the train of the conversation. This is your story, so you have all the time you want to to develop their relationships so that they can discuss things. No need to fit it all into one chat. Lol ;)

    Over all, I have enjoyed reading this so far, and would love to see more!

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