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Reviews for The whole story

By : Riahana
  • From djaddict on October 03, 2012
    Finally to the meeting, yeah! Of course Pansy causes problems.

    I am thinking that the two hooded figures are that elf and his father that want the Malfoy's position. Can't remember their names.

    Are we going too hear anything about what they learned from Aberforth?

    Really enjoying!
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  • From demonsangel on October 02, 2012
    I wonder what kind of elf Hermione is going to be. She's not a trickster like Serius, and really doesn't show traits of a wolf like Remus or the moon like Draco. And she really is too nice for Bella and her mate lol. Though she would probably make a good healer non the less... I could see her like Tom though. Or she could be a revival of the branch that was lost o.O Though I think flying was mentioned and she is terrified of that XD

    Either way, great chapter! That was such a sweet thing Harry made for Draco! Can we have another chapter please? ^^ or ten >.> XD
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  • From moodysavage on October 02, 2012
    It is going to be something totally sweet with the oragami birds isn't it? Can't wait... can't wait...can't wait! :)
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  • From kadajclone on October 01, 2012
    Another excellent chapter, wonder what Hermione's reaction is going to be once she discovers she has now become an Elf. Also are the Dursley's still in the Malfoy dungeon, and if so do Hermione and Aubrey know what has been going on with them while there? I understand completely that the Dursley's need to be punished for what they have put harry through and i have little to no sympathy for them but I just don't see either Hermione or Aubrey condoning torture of any kind, Aubrey for more obvious reasons. Thanks for answering my previous questions btw.
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  • From ANON - thrnbrooke on October 01, 2012
    Hermoine is turning into an elf!!! Thank goodness!!! Now maybe Severus will get his second chance at happiness!!! Can't wait for Draco's present!!!
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  • From demonsangel on October 01, 2012
    You're back!! I was starting to worry this story wouldn't continue. You have no idea how much I love it. Great chapter and I SO can not wait for more!
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  • From Jan on September 14, 2012
    Please update chapter 52 soon.
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  • From ANON - thrnbrooke on September 11, 2012
    Soooo need the next chapter!! Did Draco just make Hermione a Luna Elf? Soooo many questions!!!
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  • From kadajclone on September 11, 2012
    oooh interesting developments, very nice story but i had originally thought that Hermione would stay the way she is as to show the elves that not all witches/wizards are like Dumbledore. Although on the other hand if she becomes like them the possibility of her pairing up with Severus is raised lol. Also you may have already answered this one so i might have to go back and skim a few chapters but did the Lestrange's torture the longbottoms in this stories reality or are you altering it from canon? and if it did happen was there more to it than what has been revealed? Sorry if i have already asked this question in a previous review, it's just been nagging at me for a bit.

    (waits patiently for next chapter)
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  • From ANON - theokiedokieportkey on September 11, 2012
    Hello dear,
    let me just start off by saying you have come up with one of the most inventive story arcs i've seen in a fanfic. That said, I just finished reading chapter 14, and I just cant read anymore. It's not that I think its bad, it just doesnt strike me as an adult fic.. I havent published yet, but I have a fic i've been working on for 8 years now.. and in that time I have read ALOT of fics.. most of them I wouldnt even bother with because they werent that great, but I see alot of potential in you and your work so heres some friendly advice for now and the future.

    First I suggest finding a good beta reader, the ammount of errors in each chapter litterally gives me a headache..

    Next issue I want to address is the 'camp'.. it is my opinion that there should never be this much camp in an adult fic unless its occasionally appropriate, otherwise stated in the description.. I understand and recognize you are writing from the perspective of a young harry but even the adult characters are oozing with it..

    writing an adult fic is not just about sex or language, its also about the themes, thoughts, and emotional stuggles that are occuring within the story..

    I think you may also be trying to write from too many perspectives.. I didnt mind it durring the backround chapters but now its a little much.. i feel its holding you back from really developing the individuals deeper thoughts and emotions.. my suggestion is that in the future is that if you want to write multiple perspectives, pick one or two characters to write for per chapter..
    I know I probably sound really prudish, but I dont really care.. I am truly just trying to give you some food for thought..

    I would like to read the entire story.. but my time isnt endless and I just cant follow a long story that doesnt really grab me.. I will be keeping an eye on you in the future though :D

    love and blessing

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  • From moodysavage on September 11, 2012
    I have spent days ignoring other stories and reading this every minute I could get. I love this story!!! It is like looking at the story that is so close to the events in the books and seeing it through a totally different lens, believing it and liking it! I find the twists you put on the story so interesting. The test Hermione gives Harry with the blood quill, Snape being bitter because he has lost him mate and cannot continue his line,Draco becoming stonger and older in response to finding out about Harry's life with his relatives... oh just tons and tons of things!!! Voldemort being annoyed by the chatty snake and having to duck things thrown at him...

    I really like how Draco has become so protective of Harry and I also like how I think it was Lucius who realized that Harry would not want to be protected from everything. That describes them to a T. Malfoys are very protective of what they consider theirs but Harry has been taking care of himself for a very long time.

    I also really want Snape to be happy since I love love love his character. And I'm guessing that his possible 2nd mate is Hermione after he magic is opened?

    I wonder if something like that happened with Dumbledore's sister that made it possible for her to be the mate of an elf? And Dumbledore's whole thing seems like it might all be in response to losing his sister. But that makes him family... of course that crazy relative that you can't trust and who is a bit unbalanced... but maybe one who let grief take him on such a far from sane path and hurting his own family members. I think he'd suffer more if he was broken and made to realize the damage he has done to his family.

    You have done a wonderful job on this story and I totally look forward to reading more :)
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  • From Krucksue on September 09, 2012
    ANOTHER GREAT CHAPTER!
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  • From Jan on September 09, 2012
    Please update chapter 51 soon.
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  • From ANON - Anon on September 09, 2012
    Yay Draco, loved the "Mine" at the end of the chapter. Really getting into this story and can't wait to read the next chapter. Looking forward to seeing who Severus ends up with although I have a good idea who it might be *coughHermionecough*
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  • From ANON - thrnbrooke on September 09, 2012
    Go Draco!!! Hahah! The "child" won!!!
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