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Reviews for Draken Blood

By : Morbid_and_Sexy
  • From ANON - Ajablue on August 24, 2012
    First of all, I adore dragon-esque creature stories. So it is always fun to see a new one pop up.

    I do agree though with the above reviewer who mentioned your pacing. The first two chapters are extremely rushed. I understand you were inspired by Rise of the Drackens, but it is almost as if you are assuming everyone has read it and will fill in the blanks and jumps in Harry's logic with their knowledge from it, instead of fleshing out your story with details.

    For instance within a day, Harry has found out what he is, read a short book with just the bare facts, talked only sparingly with his mentor and yet he already has come to terms with his new "condition" well enough to have thought through kicking out suitors with human spouses. I know that there was a line about dominates being able to mate with out consequence to humans, but that doesn't necessarily equate a jump to understanding the people coming to court you might have lovers or families they are leaving to do so. It took others explaining the nature of the call to Harry in Starlight's story, for him to understand that.

    It is also interesting that all of the suitors found themselves available and able to arrive with in a few hours of Harry's discovery of his creature side. And why would Elder Kyrimm ask if Harry'd been abused just from catching him napping. Most people don't assume others are abused until they've seen evidence of it.

    I think your spin on Drakens could have a lot of potential. As I said I love these types of stories and Starlight's is one of my favorites atm. However, it might do to step back, take a breath and look at what you are writing from an outside point of view. Everything doesn't have to happen in one week. You could have started us out with people wondering where Harry was and a possible out cry of searching for him. You could have taken us a bit on the journey of Harry working to get back to the school and a little of his though process behind what cause him to reach the point of confront Dumbledore in front of everyone on his arrival. You could show us why Draco and the other Slytherins are so immediately accepting of Harry being resorted into their house and bringing his Muggle-born friend to sit with them with no nasty comment. And why Hermione has Draken blood if she come from an unmagical lineage.

    Just a few thoughts. I hope to see you continue this and am interested to see where it will go.
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  • From ANON - WizardsGirl on August 24, 2012
    This is a nice fic. I like what you've changed compared to StarLight's fic. Update soon, please!

    Hugs & Kittens,
    ~Wizard
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  • From ANON - PandaGaara on August 24, 2012
    Okay this is just a copy of Rise of The Drakens by StarLight Massacre. If you wanted to use drakens then you should've at least talked to Star and told her not copy off of her.
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  • From LadyFreak on August 24, 2012
    An interesting beginning though it seems sort of rushed. i look forward to see where this is going though
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  • From ANON - lunalabpink on August 24, 2012
    i really like this story. Are you going to continue it on fanfiction as well. I like the idea of Harry having more than one mate. I wish people would write more stories like that especially with Draco and Severus and Tom as harry's mates.
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  • From Green_eyed_lover on August 24, 2012
    Nice start, but I suck at guessing games so I'm not even going to try to take a stab at it. Update soon
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