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Reviews for Victim of the Fall

By : PrettyDesdemona

From xcrystaldragonx on December 24, 2012
I've been enjoying your story very much and look forward to reading more. Keep up the GREAT work & Happy Holidays!!!!
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From ANON - B on December 24, 2012
I still keep thinking of this story and where it will be going. I went back and reread the entire thing today, and am really getting ancy to read what happens next.

I have to say, there are many original aspects of your story that I am very happy with. The tovarasi, for one. It creates an interesting dynamic in the story and I'm starting to see how critical it is to those members.

Also, the Dividing lines, what inspired them (if you don't mind)? It's very interesting.

I also enjoy this silent trust that has been built between Hermione and Draco (silent until this chapter, that is, and I thought you made the transition beautifully).

And finally, the last part of this that I am very happy with is the twist to the story of Hermione and her parents. It was always implied she removed their memories against their will, but the extent and the description to where you have taken it is probably one of my favorite parts of this story. I'm really hoping that Draco will convince Hermione to visit her parents... perhaps as a way of moving on from Isobel?

Anyway, an early Christmas present would be much appreciated with an update! :D

Happy Holidays!
B
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From ANON - Siona_the_Green on December 23, 2012
Wow! I have read so many stories on AFF and yours is just WOW! fantastic! You are clearly a professional writer as this is well thought through and researched, the characters are all well developed, I love your carefully chosen words and the new wizard lore you created in addition to the original story is brilliant. This is my first review of this story because I just couldn't help myself but keep reading until there was no more to read. Now I need to go back and review your other chapters while waiting for an update. I also have a question. Why did it take you so long to come to AFF?! It was really disappointing when looking at your profile and realizing you had no older stories to tide me over until your next update. Oh well. Can't wait for the next chapter ;)
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From ANON - B on December 23, 2012
Incredible (and terrible!) chapter. So much in one chapter. Great Job, really. I'm not going to be able to sleep until the next one is up.
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From ANON - Tori on December 22, 2012
O daughter of discord
See with the eyes of heart
How in pain my other daughter is
I have gifted you, gave you love
Yet you scorn the gift I giveth you
Know the tumble, know the scrape
Let us not dance around this
Wallow in this pity, kiss the last hour
I take your only recollection as payment
Of what you had and what you earn
And Mark the hour that is due
I claim my payment
That you took for granted
The heart you no longer shelter...

Wow I am shocked, torn, weary, sadden and hollow. This emptiness this pain the raw feeling of a bleeding heart gripped from the confines of the cold dead body of the reader. I was honestly rocked by this chapter, shaken to my very core of the intensity of this chapter. The rawness the luster of pain and anguish the lost of character the movement of the story it was like a Ballad of the gales. Ever word had me entranced, the connection all of these people share, the pain they felt the courage of Hermoine, the connection between draco and her was astounding. More than I could ever hopw for. The plot thickens, we add to the nature of the war being more than just a villain we have an actual ally now in there being a death from it, or could it be that it might be ron or harry killing these death eaters who's next? What will they do, how will hermoine come out of this will she need to take the potion again will the voices come back. How will she survive under this now losing the one thing she took for granted? Just to say this is one of your best chapters yet, the last one felt kind of like a filler but this chapter sure as made up for it. "minor note when hermoine was looking at all of her friends and she mentions Isobel being there when she's not gave me a bit of a confusion, perhaps a simple indication might help that she's not there instead of after the sentence it threw me off but I picked up steam too in reading. I read the chapter twice and I'm in love with it thanks so much and happy holidays!

Tori

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From ANON - aranel on December 22, 2012
oh baby cakes....its never fun to kill a character. so sorry you had to do that. i love draco right now, so raw and honest. hopefully you wont have to kill again.
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From ANON - dh_reader on December 22, 2012
Wait wait wait!! How did that happen? few days ago, I came by here and there was no update and now there are TWO new chapters!! Though I'm ecstatic to have so much to read, I have to go to bed now (sigh). Things are pretty frantic with the Christmas preparations. I'll come back as soon as I can but in advance, thanks for the updates, my special Christmas presents!!
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From ANON - Kain on December 22, 2012
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-HOWLS IN ANGUISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh why why why. Right after i say that their interaction was adorable. The chapter title makes so much sense now.

The fact that Hermione could feel what Isobel felt makes it all the more heartbreaking.

You have done what very few authors have the Cajones to do and hit your readers with something this painful. Clever move, having us become emotionally invested in Isobels character and make us wonder how she will grow from her experiences while giving no clues as to how she will do this while taking joy in Her and Hermione's growing bond, and then BAM right in the feel to end all feels. And just like most suicides in real life........we totally did not see this coming. I honestly thought you would do something cliche but very heartfelt and have Hermione lead the Toravasi in some grand display of unity to show the wizarding world that if they wanted to judge Isobel for her fathers mistakes then they would have to go through them to get at her and lay down the law that shit like that wasn't gonna fly anymore.

You have instead broken the mold and ascended to the level of writing prestige that only a handful of fanfic writers have gotten too, in my opinion at least. I implore anyone who reads this to get this story a place on TV Tropes.org.

I am equal part happy/pissed/sad from this chapter.

-Applause-

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From pepperdoc on December 22, 2012
Wait.... That's not... THE END is it??????????? Oh goodness, please no! I love this story so much!! Hermione can't die!!!!!!!!!
But seriously, Isobel, dying... how sad. I cried a couple of tears, I'm not gonna lie. She was starting to grow on me. Especially, earlier in this chapter when she and Hermione have that 'thank you' moment. My heart grew at least 3 sizes that moment (ahh, a Grinch reference... always worth it). But, in the same moment, a little piece of my brain whispered to me "She's saying her goodbyes."
On another note, this seems like a direct consequence of Hermione's decision to stop controlling everyone around her, you know? I'm not sure what else she could have done, but if I put myself into her shoes, I would automatically start mentally flogging myself for not doing more to save Isobel.
The imagery from the Isobel laying on the ice... ah... Ophelia!!! There is a painting you should see, if you haven't already, 'Ophelia' by John Everett Millais this is the image that was in my head when you wrote "Hermione almost choked with the poetic beauty of the scene." Sigh... beautiful.
Don't stop writing!! It's wonderful!!!
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From ANON - Kain on December 21, 2012
Ya just had to do it eh?.........just had to bring on the feels huh?
-does some breathing exercises- Alright you win, Hermione and Isobel, absolutely.fucking.adorable and I am "this" close to shipping those 2 instead of HermionexDraco. Ain't gonna lie, when I read the part with Hermione saying she loved Isobel...my mind went to a slightly more perverted place(wink,wink) and i thought for a second that she meant full on romantic love.

I am sure it must make Hermione feel like crap to realize that 2 months into their friendship she only now discovers that Isobel is the target of bullying. Sadly the post war setting is not going to be an easy place for Slytherins or people with death eater connections. Nice to see her and Draco fall into some kind of peaceful routine as well.

And last but not least, "Apicem"..........oh you dirty dirty writer you lol.

ya know the drill, awesome story, awesome and original plot and relate-able characters. Keep doing what ya do.

P.S By the beard of Zeus I actually wrote a relatively short fucking review hah.

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From Marblemeadow on December 19, 2012
This chapter had me making the sign of the cross and also crying by the end of it. Torvasi indeed. =*) I assume the book the boy had in Azkaban was the Bible? To me, a Christian, that would keep me from going mad in a place like that too.
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From Marblemeadow on December 19, 2012
This is so heartbreaking and so realistic at the same time. I can see all of that happening quite clearly. Your characters are acting perfectly in character and I really admire that you're writing them that way. Looking forward to more.
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From pepperdoc on December 18, 2012
I loved this chapter. The scene with Harry... I thought it was going to make the story darker. Like maybe he was going to hurt her way worse than he did. Then, to have Draco sobbing in her misery was just... (sigh) so moving. Anyway, the song was beautiful! You have a lovely voice! Vlog responses would be interesting... I hope you do them!
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From ANON - dh_reader on December 18, 2012
I like where this is heading.
Draco
Hermione
Ha ha ha!
*wicked smile*

Harry
*sigh*
I'm not loyal. Now, much more than Teodora or Hermione, I think that Draco is my favourite character as well as
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From ANON - Aranel on December 18, 2012
It's always so hard to watch Harry fall apart. Usually I try to give him some type of rehab to help fix him but I do like to see him get aggressive...I tend to ship Harmony a lot. Glad he left though, didn't know if he was gonna kiss her or punch her. YAY! Draco is gonna help! Emotional roller coaster! Thank goodness for that dividing line, otherwise I'm quite sure Draco would have quite enjoyed ignoring Hermione for the rest of his life.
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