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Reviews for What Happens Now?

By : astartelydianna
  • From ANON - delia cerrano on February 11, 2013
    I am loving your wonderful story. I love Harry/Severus & couldn't imagine this Severus/Hermione pairing but it is really a natural one considering she has always been mature & very intelligent. I can't wait to read about the baby & how they manage! I like the way they are shyly getting closer to falling fully in love. With his view of love in marriage, she has her work cut out for her.
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  • From ANON - CrimsonFoxx on February 10, 2013
    Love!! Can't wait for more!!
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  • From TalisRuadair on February 09, 2013
    I have to admit that surprisingly the television shows you watched are quite accurate. When I was in high school, English was required in every year. We use names for our four years of high school, which consist of freshman (9), sophomore (10), junior (11) and senior (12). We start school at age five and only go for half days. We call it Kindergarten, which ironically translates from German as Children Garden. The North Idaho curriculum for English usually required the reading of at least one Shakespeare play. In Freshman year it was Romeo and Juliet, Sophomore year it was Julius Cesar but other classes were reading A Midsummer's Night Dream, Junior Year there wasn't one because we concentrated on American Literature, and Senior year it was MacBeth. We did go over English Grammar, but I admit that I learned more in my foreign language classes about English grammar than I did in English. When you learn another language like Spanish or German, you start to see the parts of words differently. I didn't understand that we do have different versions of our verbs until my third year of Spanish. Also the verb to be always seems to be irregular no mater the language. For instance in English it is, I am, you are, he, she, it is, we are, and they are. Where as to walk follows the usual diagram of I walk, you walk, he, she, it walks, we walk, and they walk.

    A definition of a run on sentence is the lacking of proper punctuation to break up an overly long sentence. Sometimes these may be fixed with proper comma placement. Other times a semicolon is required, but usually only when the two sentences could stand on their own. The example I gave of your semicolon in my last review is properly using that. The only times commas are required before a conjunction word like and, but, or, is when they are putting together to independent clauses (sentences that could stand on their own). A comma splice is also considered to be a run on sentence, but his occurs when someone puts a comma to link two independent clauses instead of a semicolon. The run on sentences I notice when commas aren't needed occur when you use too many conjunction words. Sometimes these overly long sentences can be broken into two free standing ones. I'll admit we did practice some of these things in high school English, but I don't remember what grade it was. Also, these may not be all the rules but they are the only ones of which I can think.

    Okay now comes the fun part of my review. I'm so loving the sexual tension between the two. They're made for each other in nerd heaven, but then again it takes one to know one, right? I see that you brushed upon some of Snape's reasoning as to drugging Hermione on their wedding night. I love how she showed her Slytherin streak by standing on the bottom stair. Also, I can't wait to see her poke at that growing affection Severus already has. Sure he says he'll never lover her; however, we all know he's living in a world of denial. I may not be speaking of the river in Egypt, but he's drowning nonetheless. I look forward to your next update. Also, if my English lessons in your reviews get too tiring, please do not hesitate to tell me. I'll back off.
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  • From ANON - Missycam on February 08, 2013
    LOL

    Hermione brings back a book at a hen party!!!


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  • From ANON - Anon on February 08, 2013
    Keep writing!!!
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  • From Akari-Seikatsu on February 08, 2013
    I suggest not letting the people who are picking at you about the fact that you don't have a college degree in Creative Writing bother you. Take it from someone who is working for said degree, you're doing fine. I've clicked on stories, started reading them, and had to stop because they were so horribly written. This story is interesting and I've noticed a distinct lack of common errors. Keep writing and don't let grammar nazis bother you. By the way, I'm really liking this story.
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  • From tbird1965 on February 07, 2013
    Yeah!!! He kissed her!!!!
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  • From TalisRuadair on February 07, 2013
    I have to admit that I have never taken A levels either. When I was in high school a little over a decade ago, we were not required to take a test in order to graduate. I probably would not have graduated if a test was required. I never took my SAT or ACT tests as I went straight to a junior college right after high school. I think frankly the fact that you had the benefit of a proper English education (Sorry making a bit of a joke based on the fact that English's roots are in England),you had a better start than me! I was edumacated (joke word I use to make myself sound uneducated like many who live in my area) in one of the back wooded western states of the United States. I do have a couple of suggestions when it comes to grammar. I found a couple of sentences where I would like to make a couple of suggestions. Sometimes just feedback from other writers and readers can help improve one's writing.

    Look I can
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  • From ANON - Missycam on February 07, 2013
    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I want more please ;-P
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  • From ANON - Farouche on February 07, 2013
    Hey! Don't take to heart negative reviews! While there are certainly better authors out there, you are doing a fine job. Some typos and the like are to be expected, having a couple of people you trust proofread is best if you are concerned. You are, in my opinion, writing at a well above average level. Don't let some chowder head get you down.
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  • From TalisRuadair on February 06, 2013
    Isn't it funny how someone who has spoken English his or her entire life can make statements about lacking skills in writing because of a lack of education. I'm sure our difficulty with English has nothing to do with the complexity of the language itself. There seem to be more exceptions to rules than grammar rules themselves. Not to mention that most people these days don't even speak proper English, and thus one must consider that when writing dialogue. I admit that I am not finding major errors, but I'm also not an English Major and have not taken courses in Creative Writing. However, I have recently completed a BS degree in psychology, so I have some practice with academic writing. Just so you know that experience with academic writing didn't necessarily improve my creative writing as they are completely different. The only thing you can do to sharpen your skills is to practice and perhaps read a few books on the art of writing. So, I think you're off to a great start with posting what you have written here in order to receive feedback and improve those rusty skills as you've called them.
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  • From ANON - kas on February 06, 2013
    I'm really glad that there are new chapters up every day or two. I'm rather picky about my h/s fanfiction but this is rather excellent. Very nice job. Can't wait to read more.
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  • From ANON - lunabeegood on February 06, 2013
    I am really loving their interaction and growing relationship. Will there be more soon?
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  • From ANON - Missycam on February 05, 2013
    I found the end scene soooooo cute!
    Thanks ;-)
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  • From Bawetta on February 04, 2013
    MLC! Yummy! Keep going, Your idea is relly interesting. I hopehappy ending is somewhere in sight?
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