Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for Witchcraft and Cuckoldry

By : TheDarkWonker

From Harb on December 14, 2014
This Can't be the last chapter!! I love your story, keep going?
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From ANON - Muramasa on November 24, 2014
I'm not normally a fan of Draco centric stories so despite loving your other works, it's taken me a while yo get round to this. Glad I decided to take the risk! Your themes and characters are actually quite interesting, though as some have said they can seem a little rushed or even riddled with plot holes at times I'm quite happy with my willing suspension of disbelief. The interesting part for me is how this may actually be a somewhat realistic characterisation, with the canon author saying that Harry and Ginny get divorced. Draco on the other hand may well have been forced to grow up and change his personality and the hidden world of the purebloods.
As a final point, the smut for me is amazing. I'm really not a fan of malesubs but for some reason you always seem to put it in just the right way and I feel it is the way you feminise the characters, a nearly untouched theme in fanfiction. If you ever need to bounce ideas or even just encouragement, my email is muramasa@live.co.uk . Being secondary account, I may not see any messages for a while.
Now I understand you're having fun being a cumaddicted whore but stop being so selfish and get back to writing! You have a fanbase to please.
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From Revan_55 on October 23, 2014
All i'm gonna say is hurry up and get to the part where harry joins and hermione shows up.
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From ANON - Robert on October 17, 2014
Can you actually just answer why magic hasn't been used to fix Harry's problems in relation to sex? It just feels like you completely omit magic when it should be beneficial to Harry, and instead angle it such that it benefits only everyone else that's not him.

That's what makes this fic rather poorly written.
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From ANON - Anon on October 14, 2014
Bashing the Boy-Hero?! Nice story! Thanks!
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From ANON - sherlocked17 on October 13, 2014
Oh only thing bothering me is te mum and dad Malfoy children initiating matter.....

Oh and writing on an iPad is also something I would suggest if a computer isn't within reach. I favor pages for this.
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From ANON - sherlocked17 on October 13, 2014
Uhm, well.... Started reading This during the summer and now that is becoming cold outside, this is so hot...... Oh. My well. Getting flustered right now.
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From ANON - Oryx on October 11, 2014
First things first: I really like your story! I know a bunch of people have been complaining about your writing style and the style of story you are writing but I'd like to say that I think you're doing a great job. I liked your other story as well. I would love to see chapters that are a little longer but that is my most common complaint so I'll have to let that one slide I guess. As for this latest chapter I actually think it is one of your better ones. I feel like you are slowly tying up some of the loose threads in the story so I'm already excited for the next chapter. I can;t wait to see what you manage to come up with next as far as Ginny and Harry's relationship. Don't let the negative reviews get you down, that's always the hardest part of writing fanfiction. As far as things I would like to see in the upcoming chapters: I suppose having Ginny turn Harry into a trap like the one in chapter 5 (I think) would be a good idea. I hesitate to suggest this as of now as I feel one problem you have as a writer is you tend to rush along your story lines a bit too much for my liking. I would love to see you write some longer scenes and really extrapolate on what some of the characters are feeling, be they Harry, Ginny, etc...

I will say that apart from that flaw I actually enjoy your writing style. As another reviewer pointed out, you do tend to write (somewhat) like a Doujin. I actually think it is a refreshing change of pace sometimes. I'm not always in the mood for the same thing so a little variance is good for the soul in my opinion. Your overall story line seems great in my mind, I would like to see more interaction between Ginny and Harry, especially after this latest chapter. I like the way you hinted at displeasure with their relationship on both sides. I never imagined that only Ginny was dissatisfied with how things were going. After the life Harry had, there's no way he would be content to work all day and just ignore his family.

Apart from the Harry/Ginny aspect of things. I am curious to know where you will go with Ginny's team. If you're shooting for ideas, I've got a couple floating around as I'm reviewing so here they are.

-Having Ginny go and see Clara and Claudine again. only this time Ginny is enamored with the idea of Harry being in Claudine's place.

-Getting some actual cuckoldry in the story. This is one of my minor gripes, I feel like you haven't really explored all there is to see with this particular subject yet. I would love to see Harry involved in some cuckoldry with Ginny and one of her many partners.

-Harry having his small 'wand' size found out by someone else. I'm a sucker for male humiliation in fanfiction. I also just thought this sort of fits with Harry's personality. Growing up with the Dursley family, always being put down couldn't of been good for his psyche at that age. I always thought the books just sort of glossed over the mental repercussions of his upbringing. I'd love to see you elaborate on Harry's possible need to be put down. After so many years taking abuse, maybe Harry grew to accept it and even craved it as it was a form of attention he was getting. Even bad attention can be better than no attention after all.

-You sort of explored Harry getting fed cum in chapter 11. I would like to see you expand on this idea a little more as well. The idea that Ginny fed Harry some of Malfoy's cum was tantalizing. I'd love to see some more of this.

-I also like to see things like feminization and cross-dressing. I could see Ginny asking Harry to do one or both of these things for her if she asked him. I'm sure he might be reluctant at first but I like to think Ginny could persuade him into it.

As a separate note I would like to compliment you on your portrayal of Draco in this fanfic. It is different then many others I have read and I find myself interested to see where you will end up taking it. He acts like a true slytherin for once. He seems to care at least somewhat for Harry's reputation even if it is merely because of a past debt. It just adds a layer of realism that I crave to stories like this.

Should you ever need to bounce ideas off of someone I would be more than happy to help. I also would like to offer my services in beta reading should you require them.

Keep up the great work! Your's is one of the few stories I come back to check on daily, in the hopes that there will be some smidgen of an update I can salivate over for the rest of the day.

P.S. As a last little tidbit, do you have a copy of the story linked in your profile. I have tested the link but it seems to have been taken down. That story seems like one I would enjoy reading.
This one:
"Nothing But A Slut
by 1296923665
Naruto is raped until he turns into a sissy cock loving slut. Just my kind of story."

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From ANON - ursus on July 30, 2014
It ate my review -so second try:
Nice chapter. I think you should go for "it all started with Harry". He could has walked on Delacoure females joined bath/shower, which could've led to seduction of Hermione and Daphne (her secret lover), if someone forgot to lock the door and the pair found out. Ginny was (is) a risk to their fun with Harry, so Daphne could be manipulating Astoria to direct Draco's interest at the youngest Weasley. Harry could blackmail Narcissa to shagg some loyalty into her and has her mention Ginny's name to her family as often as possible. With Lucius's and Draco's attention directed elswhere (Astoria and Ginny), Cissa's free to side/play with Harry Potter. If you play this right you'll have both male Malfoys outmaneuvered by Potter. He's an auror so it would be rather strange to have it otherwise.
As for Lucius, he could buy some polyjuice and has Ginny impersonate her mum. You could even add some Potter family magic punishment and have her bear a monkey/house-elf looking Malfoy child.
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From ANON - ursus on July 30, 2014
Nice chapter. I think you should go for "it all started with Harry". He could has walked on Delacoure females joined bath/shower, which could've led to seduction of Hermione and Daphne (her secret lover)
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From ANON - Anon on July 25, 2014
Two things: from what we have seen Narcissa is the one with the dom mentality while Lucius is one of the biggest subs I have ever read of in literature (considering his subservience to a man he has proclaimed is a worth less than a maggot after all) so the reverse bit seems very weird to me. Second: I hope you leave enough of Harry's canon mentality that he actually kills Draco and Ginny. With the combination of his inherited temper from both his parents, Tom's mentality, and how he feels about betrayal; there is no way he would not react in some extreme. We already know which of the two is the killer considering Harry has killed several times while Draco couldn't kill the one man he hated above all (except Harry).
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From ANON - Hachibihorn on July 23, 2014
Dude, wicked new chapter and great to have you back!!! Really wish you had kept going on the part with Megan, that was getting good! But good chap though! Can't wait for the next one!
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From Harb on July 15, 2014
Please continue this! This is great, and it just can't end here.

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From teddy on May 21, 2014
plz write more I'm wondering if Ginny's kids are of an acceptable age (in your book) to be involved in Ginny's second life. It'd be hot if she invited Draco over for a meal, on,y for Draco to have the entire family submit to him only after a couple of visits to the Potter residence.
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From ANON - Leywin on May 06, 2014
Huh. Your story depends too much on predestination and 'rules of magic' to be entertaining. I'm not bothered in the least about what you're writing, but rather how you write it. This whole shit with "A seer told me it was gonna happen" goes to show how weak the reasoning for Ginny's behavior is.

The whole ordeal happening, Ginny not ONCE talking to Harry about her needs and wants before this shit happened, the fact that it happened so late into their marriage, and now with this latest chapters 'oh magic wants it that way, it's just us purebloods who know about it and did I tel you dad, I got the approval of the auth- I mean seer'... you made such a mess of things.

Feels like you're self-projecting too much into this shit. Ruins what might have been a decent smutfic.

Reminds of me of your other story which I also had to drop due to hilarity of Snape trying to have some sort of drug-laced candy which instills the whole pureblood bigotry, and he himself has a muggle father.

Your best bet would be to start all over and not have to depend on convenient plot-helpers like what you did here.
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