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Reviews for The Xeoforce Equation

By : Esequell
  • From BAFan on January 30, 2015
    Ch. 3

    "The evidence of yet another of the Ministers investigations was spread around the stepped inside resignedly." I think something got left out of that sentence?

    "'We can't be seen to be throwing gold at a problem which can wait a generation or two.'"

    A generation or two??? I think the Minister is well-named!

    "'What about the casualties in St Mungo's, hit by the Xeoforce curse?'"

    I'm confused. Is this an ongoing curse or was it a one-shot deal, in which case there won't be any new cases. Maybe I should just keep reading and find out more. :-)


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  • From Severus1snape on January 30, 2015
    amazing!
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  • From BAFan on January 30, 2015
    Very good start. Will Lucius become more human as the story progresses, I hope? Guess I'll have to keep reading to find out! :-)

    I noticed one typo: "She deflected his simple stinger from the elf with more strength that he'd expected."

    It should be "than he'd expected."
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