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Reviews for Moments in time *Completed*

By : Kvarta
  • From Fox on January 15, 2017

    Chapter 9.

    Seriously, I can't stop reading. The story is so absorbing and exciting. Here are few fixes:

     that didn't gave her the right to manipulate him as she did -give

    and nearly didn’t ate anything for lunch -eat - ...the sentence doesn't sound well even with the fix, I think it should be: and ate almost nothing for lunch. Funny how your sentence sounds exactly how I would say it in Polish ;-)

    There is no need to concerned yourself -concern

    Not that I succeeding in them -I'm

    How unconsidered of me -inconsiderate

    Why I didn’t bring the potion with me? -didn't I

    Kvarta, honestly... you beast, how long are you going to torture them? Let them have a fuck, don't be like that!

    Thanks

    Fox xx

     

     


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  • From Fox on January 15, 2017

    Kvarta,

    Chapter 8.

    Your story is really good. Very well written, well worded and interesting. Have you found a beta yet? I can't be your beta, I don't feel my English is good enough, but I thought, I could help you with some little mistakes I noticed. I hope you don't mind.

    barging in to the Headmistresses office -Headmistress'

    nothing one single thing was “fine” it was quite the opposite -nothing, not one

    meddling in to peoples -into -one word, people's

     Old meddler. – growled -he growled or maybe Severus growled -it's missing a word 

    I could care less -I couldn't

    I need you to rip off my heart and my soul out of me! -delete off

    Is something happened? -Has

    All right, what did you had in mind? -have

    listen me out first -hear

    I was wrecking my brain who to send -whom

    I’ve known you for the big part of yours and mine life -my 

    after all he’s been thru -through

    Shure, she had scars -sure

    That's it! There were some missing commas, but I'm not fantastic at putting them in all the right places myself, so I shouldn't advice.

    BTW I loved his toilet comment! Hahahaha, so funny!

    Fox xx

     

     


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  • From Fox on January 15, 2017

    Chapter 7.

    Ohh hahahaha... the both of them have the same problem, how long can they go on like that, before they jump each others bones...? 

    Not long, I hope.

    Fox xx


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  • From Fox on January 15, 2017

    Chapter 5.

    Is she really making a progress? At last?

    Fox xx


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  • From Fox on January 15, 2017

    Chapter 4.

    Hahaha poor fucked up Severus. If he only knew the truth...

    Fox xx


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  • From Fox on January 15, 2017

    Chapter 2.

    I was wondering why her office was so small... hahahahaha

    Fox xx


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  • From Fox on January 15, 2017

    Kvarta,

    Chapter 1.

    Great story. I have to say you've captured the spirit of the song perfectly :-)

    If that's your first try at sexual content, I couldn't tell -it's perfect. Well worded, I enjoyed it very much. 

    I promise to read the rest soon.

    Thanks

    Fox xx


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  • From ANON - staar on January 12, 2017

    Don;t know why I didn't read this til now , but man was I wrong this was awesome !!!!!!! thanks so much for the story 1!!!!!!:):):)


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  • From ANON - Catherine on January 12, 2017

    Good ending! I really enjoyed your story! You're a great author, and the dialogues are very good :) I'll be sure to Read your future stories. And lastly, I just wanted to say that I admired your writing discipline with the new chapters :) Have a lovely day


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  • From ANON - Catherine on January 11, 2017

    As good as always! I'm looking forward to know how you Will end all of this :) 


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  • From ANON - Catherine on January 07, 2017

    It feels like a great hug, a sweet one. They need sweetness too :)


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  • From ANON - Catherine on January 04, 2017

    Good writing, as always! And the sexy scene are fine! REALLY fine ;) 

    I support you 100% in your attempt to quit smoking, it's Wise.


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  • From ANON - Catherine on December 30, 2016

    Those last chapters were great! I hope they Will realise their feelings are mutual soon :)


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  • From ANON - Catherine on December 27, 2016

    Great turn of event, I like it :)


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  • From ANON - Catherine on December 26, 2016

    I like your story very much! Good plot, you don't give it away too quickly :) 

    I'm looking forward for the next chapter!


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