Reviews for Hooking up with GriphookBy : hermionesrini |
I thoroughly enjoyed this stand alone. Before reading, I was a bit worried it would go too far off the rails but you managed to keep it within the universe. They stayed in character, as much as an x-rated version of themselves can be, which some people have a hard time writing. You tweaked them just enough to be believable in an alternated universe. That said, I don't know what inspirations you have when writing erotica fan fiction, but this has a hentai feeling to it. Not one of the hardcore monster rape kind, if anyone is wondering or worrying. I think the way you subtly transitioned the doubt and hesitation to last then to embarrassment was nicely done.
I would recommend using something like Word and the immersion or playback function that can read you back the document out loud. Hearing it will help catch words you forgot to include or misspell that your mind automatically fills in when trying to proofread.
Great job. I hope you take on another stand alone scene or a bigger project. Look forward to it.
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