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Reviews for Black Heart

By : Qmouse
  • From ANON - Shadowknight on July 21, 2005
    Not bad at all for a first outing, so to speak. I've seen much, much worse from people on affn. Not in the HP stories though. I've seen the better fic authors writing HP fics more than anywhere else on affn. Keep up the good flow of the plot. Not much in the way of spelling/grammar errors, but for a slight misuse of 'to' when it should have been 'too' (think 'also' when using too).
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  • From ANON - Gwennavierre on July 05, 2005
    Great story so far. I hope you update again real soon. I have only one 'criticism'. I noticed that you have a lot of commas in the middle of sentances where they aren't neccessary. I don't know about everyone else, but when I read, I automatically pause at commas. When there is one after every few words when a person is talking, it makes them sound stuttery in my mind. That's all I have negative to say. The story is brilliant. Poor Hermione. Poor Snape. Cute house elf. Keep up the good work and don't take my critism personally. I have my problems, too. I depend on reviewers to catch them for me so I can fix them. Even then, there are some which are missed and I occasionally get the annonymous mean reviews. Please update soon! I know my readers probably hate me right now since I haven't updated any of my stories in nearly a week! ::gulp:: Guess I had better get working on that...

    Hugs,

    Gwen
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  • From ANON - Melissa on July 03, 2005
    Please continue. This is definately one of the better Snape-Hermione fics.
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  • From ANON - Lexi on July 01, 2005
    Hey this is awsome so far so well written for your first fic! My first fic was horrible actually all my fics are! I can't wait till the next chapter! If you ever need Fan Art for your fic email me and le me know here are some samples:
    http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/8938/exoticfetishlayout2lh.png
    http://img269.imageshack.us/img269/2108/jadedtiny6az.png
    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v647/flyingwithoutwings/tdd2.jpg
    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v647/flyingwithoutwings/shadowblend.jpg
    http://img103.imageshack.us/img103/755/hazeleyes7gt.jpg
    http://img185.echo.cx/img185/1813/blue2qy.jpg
    http://img248.echo.cx/img248/8259/pink5si.png

    Anytime you need anything let me know!
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  • From ANON - Sorceress Black on July 01, 2005
    Wow very very good, especially for your first. You have a great start here and I see a lot of potential in this. I think you have them both very much in character, Hermione with her innate sense of helping people and Snapes harsh, volitile personality even though he's that way for a reason, closing yourself off is a real bitch lol. Anyhow just wanted to say that I really enjoyed reading this and I hope to see more of it soon. Cheers!
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  • From ANON - Moi on June 30, 2005
    I do like this story. It's been a while since you updated, so I am rereading it from the beginning.
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  • From ANON - Quaelen on June 30, 2005
    I just finished reading all chapters (up through Tuesday - the chapter) over on FF.net...post it here Q!!! People will love it -- I know I have!! Keep up the good work.
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  • From ANON - ancientgirl on June 30, 2005
    Good start. I'm looking forward to more.
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  • From ANON - StormAz (not signed in) on June 30, 2005
    This is your first story?
    Excellent job so far ... truly I haven't been this engrossed in a story in a while!
    Kudos to you and your beta. I look forward to seeing updates on this one.
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  • From ANON - Cristie on June 30, 2005
    Nice start. You have a really great flow for this being your first fic. Nice long chapter as well. I'll be watching for an update.
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