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Reviews for Mine

By : OrgyXIIIBike
  • From ANON - kara on August 07, 2009
    okay... lemme just say, the first chapter was alright, could use more description though, second chapter is where I was like... WTF? WHAT THE HECKS GOING ON? You really should stay with one theme and not jump back and forth to one and then another and then back and then to a completely differently one than the second or first all together.
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  • From sanda on May 02, 2009
    good story
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  • From Heidi191976 on April 30, 2009
    This was a great story. I enjoyed reading it.
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  • From ElementalDemonessSorceress on December 30, 2008
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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  • From catysmom1028 on December 23, 2008
    I like it. Please update soon.

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  • From Heidi191976 on December 22, 2008
    Excellent. I look forward to reading more.
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  • From catysmom1028 on December 06, 2008
    I like it. Please update soon.

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  • From ElementalDemonessSorceress on November 29, 2008
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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  • From JaceDamian23 on October 09, 2008
    im confused to why he moaned out 'hermione' he didn't seem to know who the witch was. besides for that love the start
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  • From tsunamiraven928 on July 26, 2008
    You have a good premise here, but it needs to be filled out some with details. How did the characters feel about the events? What did Remus' flat look like? What did the courtroom look like? Is the Burrow still the same mess with an overstuffed couch? Where does this take place in the canon timeline? What has changed from that timeline?

    Where was Harry [big part of the Trio] and how did he feel about all this?

    The characters were also flatly out of character. Would Hermione really say that stuff about how she likes sex in front of all those strangers, without any hesistation? Would Ron really let Hermione tesify without interrupting her? Lupin was consumating a bond with his mate...Would he not feel anything? What was people wearing?

    Also you should look at all of the chapters and play 'one of these things is not like the others'. The writing style is inconsistant and makes the story disjointed. I suggest making it all prose as that flows better.

    I really do like the premise tho' and I can see the potential of this story. [Which is why I reviewed.]

    ~A.M.A~
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  • From catysmom1028 on July 02, 2008
    I like it. Please update soon.
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  • From Heidi191976 on July 02, 2008
    This is a wonderful story. I can't wait to read more.
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  • From ANON - Trax on May 25, 2008
    WTF. You are a terrible writer. Trying revising everything. Give your story a sounder plot. Flesh out your chapters and write clearer. And make the readers want to read more, not dread it and click the close button.
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  • From ElementalDemonessSorceress on March 17, 2008
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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  • From Emmylovedraco on December 27, 2007
    Please update soon Please
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