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Reviews for As If In Wonderland

By : klbblk
  • From Lalyta8 on August 26, 2009
    loved the story. i have two (in my opinion) really good ideas for a story. if you are interested, let me know. i have so many ideas, problem is im not a good writer. email me at lalyta8@hotmail.com
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  • From Wistfu1Stargazer on April 10, 2009
    RE: chapter six

    Holy cow, Hermione cast an unforgiveable curse without a wand--WICKED!

    OW, poor Hermione to have been raped for her first time and losing her virginity--bummer.
    :p

    '... Voldemort was angry and disgusted with himself.'
    Hmm, maybe there might be some hope, however small, for him after all.

    Well done--keep up the good work!

    ~*~*~
    F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

    1) 'Hermione sat on Voldemorts ["Voldemorts" should be "Voldemort's"] side at the huge table filled with a feast made by the house elves, ...'

    2) '... to talk to anyone rather than obeying Voldemorts ["Voldemorts" should be "Voldemort's"] rules.'

    3) '
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  • From Wistfu1Stargazer on April 09, 2009
    RE: chapter five

    I like how he is seeing to her well-being by healing her up, allowing her to get cleaned up, giving her new clothes, loaning her some books, and giving her complements too. Not to bad for a dark lord, hey?
    :D

    Well done--keep up the good work!

    ~*~*~
    F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

    1) '
    Report Review

  • From Wistfu1Stargazer on April 09, 2009
    RE: chapter four

    YaHoo, Voldemort has his yummy looks returned to him.
    *::drools while grinning like a Cheshire cat::*
    ;~D

    Oh man, the dirty, rotten, son-of-a-sea-hag put the Dark Mark on poor unconscious Hermione.

    Well done--keep up the good work!

    ~*~*~
    F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

    1) '
    Report Review

  • From Wistfu1Stargazer on April 09, 2009
    RE: chapter three

    Hmm, I like he thinks about her after he leaves her, and how he has made his claim of her in front of his Death Eaters.

    Great story so far, very well done--keep up the good work!

    ~*~*~
    F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

    1) '
    Report Review

  • From Wistfu1Stargazer on April 09, 2009
    RE: chapter two

    Oh my, even though he (Voldemort) tortured Hermione a few times, he was still somewhat kind, in his own way, by allowing her the food, drink, and questionable quality blanket.

    Well done--keep up the good work!

    ~*~*~
    F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

    1) '
    Report Review

  • From Wistfu1Stargazer on April 09, 2009
    RE: chapter one

    I like how you fleshed out the first chapter giving it more substance. It makes the reader want to find out what happens to Hermione next (well for me anyways--LOL).

    Well done--keep up the good work!

    ~*~*~
    F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

    1) 'Her determination to hurt as many death eaters as she could shone through here ["here" should be "her"] tearful eyes, ...'

    2) 'Voldemorts ["Voldemorts" should be "Voldemort's"] eyes glowed even redder than they were as he saw Lucius grab the girls hair tight, ...'

    3) '
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  • From Avivafae on March 04, 2009
    Wow! I really like this story. But you sure left it on one hell of a cliffy! I can't wait for your next update. Be careful of spellcheck though. Read through your work. Spell check will often change misspelled words into something else entirely. Etc: Their into there, or those into them, regardless of what the grammar might actually call for. It happens to the best writers. In order to avoid it, try reading the chapter out loud to yourself. You'll catch a lot more mistakes that way. When you read something silently your brain automatically changes the errors, but when you read them aloud the grammatical and spelling errors become more obvious as your mouth trips over them. I hope this helps.
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  • From joeshmo on December 02, 2008
    wow! I LOVED his and mine, and i LOVE this one! but, I never read the One Shot, so im in suspense for the ending! I was wondering when she was going to get pregnwnt. I can't wait to see what happens!! update soon =]
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  • From TriniMinx on November 28, 2008
    Aww, poor Hermione, having an inner battle with herself in her little head. LOL

    Update soon :o)
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  • From TriniMinx on November 13, 2008
    P.S.

    If you need a beta, I can help :o)
    SashaHalima@gmail.com
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  • From TriniMinx on November 13, 2008
    Ooh, yay you updated!
    Hmm, she's a death eater-sorta-kinda now... well, that's a change in development I wasn't counting on.
    So does he really love or care about her the way he says he does? I guess I just never understood that with Voldemort fictions. I guess I have a hard time understanding how he can torture and crucio the living daylights out of her, then turn around and tell her how much he loves her and cares for her.
    Are you implying she's pregnant now? It seems that way.
    I've read your other stories, obviously, :o) so I'm wondering what the reaction to the Voldemort in this story will be if she indeed turns out to be pregnant. If she is and you write a epilogue, do you think you could put something in there about how he behaves as a father? I've only ever seen that in one other Voldemort fiction...and I think its an interesting concept, to even have a simple scene on his interactions with his own children. They story I had read with it in it, had shown him as a typical loving, dad...very different from the dark, sensual husband. I had really liked that a lot.
    Oh well, update soon!
    I can't wait see what happens when she goes on her little adventure with Draco, lol.
    And yep...I read the one-shot -- though I don't see a lot of the same aspects in here as that one...did I miss something???
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  • From TriniMinx on November 05, 2008
    Hmm, Chapter 19... that was interesting and different.
    Another rose horcrux story? Am I sensing a pattern? LOL
    Update soon :o)
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  • From kriket on November 03, 2008
    Please get a beta to read over your stories, there are some simple spelling mistakes, and gramatical errors. Also try and develop your plot a bit more, you seem to try and rush when you are delivering important infomation in the the story. It seems that the characters often figure problems, or mistakes out too quickly,and it leaves the reader confused as to how the characters were able to figure everything out in about a minute when it should have taken much longer. I really do enjoy your story, and I am not trying to be critical of you or anything like that. I just thought that I would offer you my opinion. You may take it or leave it as you please, I am indiffernt either way.
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  • From Bloodredneko on September 30, 2008
    oh please please please write more i am enthralled by your story
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