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Reviews for The Raven

By : ShadowMoon1990
  • From dianahuntresss on November 11, 2008
    Don't add any more partners for Harry. Strengthen the relationship you've already stated they formed. Slow down your writing you don't need to cram
    8 chapters worth of information into the very first chapter.

    How did Harry discover about the weasley's?
    When did he and Hermione become a couple?
    explain the simple stuff and then start with the story... or if you can explain the simple stuff as you go along; but honestly I felt like i just rode a roller coaster stuck in high-gear when i read this. Don't get me wrong you've got a good concept and lots of information to tell us.... just slow it down. More dialog would help, that would let us get to know your characters.
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  • From jessirose85 on August 17, 2008
    I think Bella...loved the first chapter xxx please email me when you update xxxx 5/5
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