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Reviews for Children of the Moon

By : aidoneuskiss
  • From BoundnHurt on September 19, 2011
    I didn't know what to expect with a DBZ X-over. It's really good. I hope to see more of Harry soon. I like Trunks and I like how every things is working out so far. Let's see where you run with it. ^_^
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  • From Shadowwolf03 on September 01, 2011
    Stumbled across your story just this evening and read all 8 chapters posted. I like where you're going with this and am looking forward to future chapters. I do recommend the spell check in word before posting though chapter seven have a few misspelled words.
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  • From Irridescansun on April 01, 2011
    This is one of the better DBZ HP crossovers I've read in a long time. Keep up the good work...
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  • From strfire on November 15, 2010
    I wasn't really sure if I would like this story or not, but decided to give it a shot. I ended up giggling all during Trunks encounter with Dumbledore. I think you have the start of a wonderful story, and while there are a few spelling and grammar errors, I can't wait to read what happens next.

    Here's a cookie for your muse. Happy writing!!
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  • From Sanchan85 on October 23, 2010
    Hi,

    the smooth integration part, I'm not so sure....
    but that is actually the intriguing idea with this ff, I've never before found somebody who tried it.
    The problem is of course the world Trunks comes from, it is so totally different fromthe HPverse, so I think your idea with the time-/dimension-travel is a good start.
    I also liked that you made Uranai-Baba the one to introduce Trunks to wizardry, she is from the DBZverse and magical, so good connection there.
    To use Nurmengard as a base of opperation and the werewolfs as children of the moon was also a great idea.
    The goblin/house elfe reverence was funny as well... and there is a resemblence, green skin, no recognizeable gender, etc... ;-)
    What I'am missing a little bit is the surrounding... I think you could gointo more detail... for example, what did Harry (and/or Trunks) see when Hagrid mentioned going back to the Dursleys? I liked the idea of hand feeding Harry, but I would have loved to have it described in a little more detail... you know actually reading about Trunks doing the coaxing... what words did you imaging? What did he talk to Harry about? What did Harry think about the situation? Did he think at all in the moment?
    I loved the nesting idea, even when I disliked the idea of killing Hedwig, but if you needed bloodshed, she was the only available victim, so I see your reasoning. The nesting was a totally cute idea. But even there you could have gone into more detail, or you could have Trunks remember a similar reaction in his past. You could have started their bon on a deeper level there.
    About their bond... I am missing what Trunks really wants from Harry... he (or better said you) must have an idea for what he can use Harry... (doesn't have to be "use" in a negative way, could also just mean, that he is lonely and would appreciate the company of another warrior, e. g.)
    And Olivander... you describe him as powerful, but Dumbledore is able to put him under a compulsion? How did he react to Trunks helping him getting the fog out of his mind? Was he angry with Dumbledore? Did he at least make the connection? Is he planning revenge? Is he going to keep an eye on Harry and Trunks? Did he see the solar flare from Trunks and how he made a run for Gringotts with Harry? Even if he will not play a role in the future of the ff, I personally think it is always interessting to see a scene also from an outside point of view. (At the moment I am kind of doubting if I make myself clear... sorry if I don't.)

    So I hope this gave you some input...
    Just if I haven't said it before I am fascinated by the combination of HP and DBZ.

    Bye
    Sanchan
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  • From Raholea on July 03, 2010
    i read your original post of this, and am re-reading this, and i have noticed big changes, but i think i like this better. the flow is much nicer (in my opinion) and the story simply reads easy without being.. grating. and you still put effort into plot and reasoning, etc. It's nice to see. I'd like to see what else you have planned.
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  • From Spaz666 on July 02, 2010
    I liked the old story but I really, really, adore the direction this one is going in. I think starting them off at a older age will get the story moving faster in the romatic and political plot areas. I'm almost glad your sister deleted your story because this feels like it will be a stronger story.
    Please, please, keep the trunks/harry relationship. Whatever you do don't change that!
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