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Reviews for After the Dawn

By : MsShayxPear
  • From Sisyphus1967 on August 04, 2012
    Ooohh I liked this. I'd really like Harry to pull himself together a bit. He should be in a position to get Bella pardoned or something since she doesn't seem as nuts but I think he needs to take some more control from her.
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  • From MacPhisto on January 18, 2011
    PLEASE write more!
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  • From SSJ04Mewtwo on October 04, 2010
    Good stuff. This story can now be moved into the Harry/Bellatrix section of the Male/Female sub-category.
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  • From Daye on September 13, 2010
    Just got caught up. Nice to see the plot advancing though I find it rather far fetched that Bella gets a knife in prison and manages to escape quite like that. If Bella's disarmed Harry by force, doesn't that mean she's also master of the Elder Wand now? Like Harry was after he disarmed Draco?
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  • From Daye on August 13, 2010
    Well I can't say it isn't an interesting concept. Still we haven't seen any real justification for Harry or Draco falling for Bella, other than... she's really hot? Seems to me, that's not much against murdering your father figures and other close friends like Tonks.
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  • From SalonKitty on August 11, 2010
    Wow. your Bella is quite the sex bomb. She's even got her nephew infatuated with her, huh? He's obviously taking good care of her considering the changes in her cell.

    How much time has elapsed since the events of the second chapter, though? I couldn't get enough sense of whether this was taking place in the same day, the next day, or a week later. And you might have expounded a bit on the 'mass revolt' at Azkaban. Don't assume your readers are going to recall every detail from the series, if that's what you are alluding to. Those sort of plot points could use some embellishment to keep the story believable.

    I like how you keep hinting at Harry's attraction; it's almost compulsive with him. It's like he's caught up in her spell every time he gets close to her, regardless of how much he despises her. You remind us that Harry is still acutely young and a bit innocent still, in many ways, and Bella is quick to exploit that.

    It should be interesting to see the tension return between Draco and Harry for a completely new reason, this time.

    Good job.
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  • From SalonKitty on August 10, 2010
    I'm liking how your Harry finds Bella secretly sexy and tries to fight his attraction. This is a bit different in the usual H/B pairings, where he's always her prisoner being sexually tortured. This makes things much more ambiguous. Great start.

    You might want to refashion your formatting, though, as it looks a bit blocky and confusing. I'd separate the dialogue, too, into their own lines.

    Glad that you're keeping Bella smart, as she figures out quickly what may have happened. And Harry mentioning Draco by his first name is interesting. I guess Draco appreciated Harry saving his life. Makes me really look forward to Bella's chat with her nephew.

    Hope another chapter is posted quickly!
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  • From SalonKitty on August 10, 2010
    If this is going to be a Harry/Bella story, then you are my new hero.

    Only, hurry up and write a longer chapter! Good opening but this is more of a prologue than anything. Good luck in your writing!
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