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Reviews for Serpent's Touch

By : Shinigamikitty
  • From asma2004 on December 13, 2011
    i hope you will update soon
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  • From Dhalim on November 21, 2011
    It sounds interesting, but you have a serious problem with keeping the tenses in line. You use 'would' in most of the sentences, making it future tense, which is generally not a good idea when writing a story (frankly, it was painful to read), and every once in a while, you switched to past tense (example: Voldemort cast a spell to chain the boy, and sent him to the dungeon), which sounded fine until you went back to future tense. Pick one (preferably past tense) and stick with it, and you might have a good story on your hands :)
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