Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for Behind the Veil

By : Leo
  • From Haggishunter on April 01, 2012
    finished chapter 6 and I kind of wanted iris to be in either riddle or snape's lap haha. Was kind of hoping for a bit more Remus but hopefully there'll be more in future chapters. Overall I enjoyed the flow of the story you seemed to become more engrossed as a writer as you got further into the story which is great it really came across on the page. Apart from a few spelling errors and the confused part in the previous chapter that I had commented on I found it very captivating. I look forward to reading what else in store and seeing just where Iris path takes her.
    Report Review

  • From Haggishunter on March 31, 2012
    slight spoiler alert*** doesnt make sense in ch 4 where Riddle says "he had rained death upon people like her mother little more than a decade ago." Iris mother in this reality is alive so that didnt happen. I reread the passage thinking I'd somehow read from the wrong person but it was still clearly Riddle talking. It needs to be amended.
    I'm enjoying the story but there is too much copy and pasting of the original text, would be better if it was reworded slightly to show the slight changes to the characters.
    Love Riddle and Snape and looking forward to reading the next chapter.
    Report Review

  • From Haggishunter on March 26, 2012
    really enjoying the story and getting to know the alternate character developments and I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter.
    However, there are a few errors in the writing that I find distracting and maybe going over it in editing will get rid of those. For example you use `then` instead of `than` and sometimes repeat what you have just said. Perhaps getting a beta to look over your story would help but very well done on the whole and a great start :)
    Report Review

  • From bloodshound on March 21, 2012
    first off, let me just say, kudos for avoiding the Sue age traps. The har'iris amalgam comes across as powerful, but still believable, with out the super powerful Mary Sue syndrome. I've got several questions though. Is there a reason Lily didn't keep up with the flower names for her second daughter? why name her for the spinner of fate? Having dumbles interested in her is definately no good thing. though with grindy and V, in the back ground, i doubt he'll accomplish much in the way of tool crafting.
    I'll miss the nev that was as he was a sweetie, but i understand why his being a prick was needed. considering her other contenders, Nev the nob hasn't a chance.
    Will horcuxs feature much in this and do both grindy and V have them? I can tell V's going to feature majorly, consider hecate went out of her way to erase any trace of tom= voldi in her mind. hopeful, the plans in place won't trigger major bad reaction when things start heating up between them. Heh, poor Voldi. I always wondered what he would've been like if he'd gotten that teaching job. Does dumbles know who he is or was? It doesn't seem so if he's mainly focusing on grindy.
    I'm glad sev faired a little better this time out. He really did get a raw deal.
    Pollux huh and not a twin in sight. Well, i suppose it beats Scorpious. He's so cute with his 'grr, you stole my friend' attitude. hopefully there's enough of Lia to go around. will they be playing a big role?
    do you answer reviewr Q's at all? If you do my e mail is ckestra@hotmail.com
    looking forward to more and ty for a believable fem har.
    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!