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Reviews for Working in Kind

By : VSBree
  • From LyraRFIM on July 09, 2014
    I love your Snape! Thank you for a great story! Are there more "on the burner"?
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  • From ANON - delia cerrano on March 25, 2014
    Another good Snarry story! Poor Dracodoesn't come off to well in this one either (I just finished "To Protect").
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  • From ANON - Cookies_B on September 12, 2013
    Excellent fic! Just love the ending :) everyone is so happy! i can't wait to read more of your work! keep it up! :D
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  • From jules3677 on September 03, 2013
    Hard & fast. Fast & hard. Love it!
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  • From BAFan on August 31, 2013
    Ch. 8

    So . . . this is the end? Glad as I am that you didn't introduce more angst into the story, the ending does seem a tad abrupt. Oh well, at least it was a happy one. Thanks for sharing it with us.
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  • From BAFan on August 31, 2013
    Ch. 2

    Uh yeah, what's up with Snape? Poor Harry, no wonder he's confused.
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  • From BAFan on August 31, 2013
    Ch. 1

    First let me say that I am enjoying your portrayal of the characters, though I hope Harry develops some self-confidence when he's around Snape. I've only read this chapter, so maybe that happens later on. I also like the premise of Harry teaching and Snape being alive and a colleague.

    You mentioned you were looking for a beta. I can't do that but may I offer a couple of corrections?

    "It was shortly following the war in which Harry Potter first returned to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry took in the crisp smell of parchment, the cool and expansive breeze in which blew from high to the ceiling mosaic glass windows, and the stone in which scrapped familiarly beneath his well-polished, black loafers."

    The word should be scraped, not scrapped, but the main error here is the phrase "in which," which you have used three times in two sentences. The first sentence would better read as "It was shortly following the war WHEN Harry Potter first returned to Hogwarts...." "In which" really doesn't fit in there at all.

    In the second sentence, take out the "in" from the phrase in both usages. "Harry took in the crisp smell of parchment, the cool and expansive breeze WHICH blew from high to the ceiling mosaic glass windows, and the stone WHICH scraped familiarly beneath his well-polished, black loafers."

    There there are, of course, instances in which it is correct to use "in which," but none of the many times you used it in this chapter applies to that. You are certainly not the only writer who misuses this phrase - I've seen it a lot recently on this and other fanfic sites.

    Anyway, this bothered me a lot and I hope I didn't offend you by bringing it up. I'm new to AFF membership, though I've been reading on it for years, and it isn't obvious to me that there is a way to contact an author privately, which would have been my preference.
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  • From ANON - silver666 on August 28, 2013
    So much potential... and such a disappointing ending. It's probably just me but the jump from betrayal and very nearly forced bonding to sickeningly sweet romance is just... lame.
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  • From ANON - delia cerrano on August 26, 2013
    So good...What kind of "estate" will the two agree on? An angry Malfoy can be very sneaky. But somehow I feel sad and bad for him...maybe it is my own mood but he seems kind of lonely and younger than he is really.
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  • From ANON - delia cerrano on August 21, 2013
    Woo Hoo...excellent smexy chapter. Looking for another one while they figure out how they will manage to live their lives together...trust each other...work together and build a life.
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  • From ANON - delia cerrano on August 20, 2013
    Oh Harry the fight is half the fun...giving in is the other half! Fight on Harry but not tooo hard...let Severus show you how good it can be to be cherished by him. Love Draco but not for you, not in this story. Maybe the next one?
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  • From serialcabbit78 on August 20, 2013
    How would Draco be owed a life debt by Harry? Harry saved Draco's life.. Draco's mother saved Harry's life. I'd rather see Harry with Severus anyway. Severus is above using his 'money' as a way of getting his wants... if you get my meaning. And he has Harry's best interests at Heart all along...
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  • From ANON - mnfm on August 20, 2013
    Oh God! Great, great, great! Keep them coming!
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  • From ANON - sara101 on August 20, 2013
    Once again I am too eager to login before reviewing, OMG you had made my morning with chapter 4 and now I'm just so on edge waiting for chapter 6. Please do update soon before I die of impatience lol absolutely look forward to the next chapter!
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  • From peniquedeplata on August 20, 2013
    Wha..wha..WHAT?? NO!NO!NO! That is unacceptable! ( she mutters and stamps foot in protest - there is pacing and hand waving and dirty looks shot at that blonde troublemaker) Severus is going to finally have a human to use as potion ingredients...oh yes he is...evil cackling issues forth scaring and scarring all within hearing.....

    Oh Yeah Um Okay so perhaps I may like nay love this little fic and am now impatiently awaiting the next installment...may I bribe you with chocolate sauce to drizzle on the delectable Harry? baked goodies? booze? my first born child?(oops don't have one of those...uh one obnoxiously loud cockatiel that whistles like a construction worker) LOL Keep up the great writing.
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