rate_review Reviews

You can tell it\'s your first fanfic.

No offence.

Understand the characters you are talking about. First off, I doubt that Hermione-the-Bookworm Granger would agree to having sex with Draco-the-sex-god Malfoy unless she a. was drunk or b. had a lobotomy. Also, I doubt Draco would suddenly recognise that Hermione \'got sexy\'.

I also hate SuddenlyBeautifulwithBigBoobs!Hermione who turns into a super-slut and starts whoring herself around the school.

Just some points you might want to consider for next time.

On the other hand, the smut scene was rather good. You just need to develop your plots and characters more so it\'s more believable and less \'oh I got bored and decided to write this\'. A good fanfic is one that people will remember for the right reasons as opposed to the wrong ones.

I do believe you could do well if you only took the time to think and develop everything you\'re writing.

i\'ve got to say its pretty good for your first fanfic but i fucking hate one shot stories but i have no complaints about this one since it kicks arse