rate_review Reviews

I think that you are not a bad writter...but this story seems a bit \"choppy\" to me. I love \"tortured Severus falls in love\" stories, and you had a great start with the two of them being Slytherins in school together and both loving potions, and I could really get into depressed Severus at Hogwarts and all, but after that I just felt like you kind of let the plot slip. I think you could really make their meeting in the bar a lot more clear and detailed. It came across as they didn\'t really even know each other, like two strangers just decided to live together. It felt rushed. I enjoyed the first couple of chapters; I think you could re-write the fourth and make the flow of the story a lot better. Please, keep up the story though, I like where it\'s going.

Well, it\'s not as mary-sueish as I thought it would be, \'nd I like it a lot:)) Even though it\'s not slash;)
I really liked your style of describing things, reminds me of cyberpunk a bit)
Anything disturbing will go on at all?:)
Write more, plz)

COOL!!

This story is Fabulous! For once someone writing him as a heterosexual not gay. I mean can anyone see him as a gay? No seriously he isn\'t the type! Anyway i digress. PLEASE WRITE MORE CHAPTERS!!!!! This story is great Schnizz!

Where\'s the sex???? I can\'t wait for them to get it on, write more, love. Oh and keep your hands off the egg mayo sandwiches!!
Oh and just in case I didn\'t make it clear, I love you sweetheart!!!

Jamie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I like this story what happens next plz write more and quickly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, mate you might want to keep this story in the Harry Potter section!

Im liking it Bern tres cool yeah like alot keep it clean Bern