schedule
November 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Loved the story, found it was better than most i\'ve read.
Need to vary how you begin your sentances, but other than that it was brilliant. Please post a few more stories! Groovy...
Need to vary how you begin your sentances, but other than that it was brilliant. Please post a few more stories! Groovy...
schedule
May 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
great story, but you need help with your slang - you mean bollocks not bullocks. one literally means testicles, and the other is cattle!!!
schedule
May 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Very well written. The chemistry between the characters was quite good.
The only critisism I have is that you often start off your sentances with the character\'s name, and don\'t bring much of a variety to it. I also think you could have written it longer, so they could interact more. You know, keep your readers in suspence, building up the anticipation.
The only critisism I have is that you often start off your sentances with the character\'s name, and don\'t bring much of a variety to it. I also think you could have written it longer, so they could interact more. You know, keep your readers in suspence, building up the anticipation.