schedule
March 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
pretty good so far, keep up the good work..post more soon..lots more....
schedule
March 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
It'd help a lot if you could add spaces between paragraphs on the first chapter?
The second chapter is quite cute. The fight makes a funny mental picture. If you could indicate that the item is a flashback a bit more gracefully, that'd be great. Maybe make the flashback a prologue? Or just tack on the words "two months prior" at the beginning and remove them from the end of the priod section.
Snape as a grouchy housecat. There certainly could be something to that.
The second chapter is quite cute. The fight makes a funny mental picture. If you could indicate that the item is a flashback a bit more gracefully, that'd be great. Maybe make the flashback a prologue? Or just tack on the words "two months prior" at the beginning and remove them from the end of the priod section.
Snape as a grouchy housecat. There certainly could be something to that.