schedule
June 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Can't wait for chapter 2!
schedule
June 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
first, I would just like to point out to you that you've posted the first chapter of your story three times as separate stories by mistake.
I have no idea how that could happen, but it shouldn't be to hard to fix XD
onwards to the chapter:
I like what little of the plot you show in this first chapter, it seems like you have something great planned out.
It was a little short and fast-paced however, and it din't quite set the stage for the story right away so you might have a little trouble catching the readers attention.
Is Ayana an OC you've created yourself? I hope she'll continue to be the back-boned girl she seems to be...no offence to the J.Potter fans out there, but he deserves some bashing every once in a while for his behaviour XD
Good work and I look forward to seeing the next chapter
Ibe
I have no idea how that could happen, but it shouldn't be to hard to fix XD
onwards to the chapter:
I like what little of the plot you show in this first chapter, it seems like you have something great planned out.
It was a little short and fast-paced however, and it din't quite set the stage for the story right away so you might have a little trouble catching the readers attention.
Is Ayana an OC you've created yourself? I hope she'll continue to be the back-boned girl she seems to be...no offence to the J.Potter fans out there, but he deserves some bashing every once in a while for his behaviour XD
Good work and I look forward to seeing the next chapter
Ibe