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January 17, 2009 at 12:00 AM
What the hell is Sirius going to do now? I feel so sorry for poor Hermione as she had to go back to the LeStranges household for the seciond time, and although you did not tell us what happened, I can just imagine what that was like.
I do not flame this story because from the beginning you have been honest with your readers and told us all that this will be a DARK story. I for one like reading the darker stories, as it is all part of life.
Thanks so much for this chapter, and although it was shorter then all of your other chapters, I still appreciate the time and effort you put into this story and bring it to us quickly. I usually don't read WIP, but this is an exception as you are writing it quickly and some of the stuff you come up with... Well, let's just say that it makes me shudder ;)
So keep those chapters coming, and write your story as only you can. Remember, you are the story teller here, no one else.
love Sonia :)
I do not flame this story because from the beginning you have been honest with your readers and told us all that this will be a DARK story. I for one like reading the darker stories, as it is all part of life.
Thanks so much for this chapter, and although it was shorter then all of your other chapters, I still appreciate the time and effort you put into this story and bring it to us quickly. I usually don't read WIP, but this is an exception as you are writing it quickly and some of the stuff you come up with... Well, let's just say that it makes me shudder ;)
So keep those chapters coming, and write your story as only you can. Remember, you are the story teller here, no one else.
love Sonia :)
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January 16, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Holy crap! Did not expect Chapter 18 at all. (I love your titles, by the way.) I know I mentioned in an earlier review that Kreacher was the master manipulator, but I never expected him to turn on Sirius in this way. I thought Sirius had gotten the upper had when he grabbed onto Hermione's Bella thoughts, but Kreacher banging himself against the wall and taking control over everything? Wow!
"things are so horrendous that this coping strategy won't always work." Darn you! Now I'm worried! What have I told you about making me think during my smut stories? (smut stories sounds like something Kreacher would come up with) Well done, but now I have to try and wait patiently for the next chapter. *sigh*
"things are so horrendous that this coping strategy won't always work." Darn you! Now I'm worried! What have I told you about making me think during my smut stories? (smut stories sounds like something Kreacher would come up with) Well done, but now I have to try and wait patiently for the next chapter. *sigh*
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January 16, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Interesting development regarding Kreacher. I didn't see that one coming. I like the shorter chapters, they are much easier to digest even if it is completely smut free. It still develops the storyline and shows it moving in a direction. Are you still planning on 30ish chapters? So we are about half way through at this point? Just wanna confirm this so I know how long to keep looking for more chapters. I'm still checking every day.
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January 15, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Oh How I hope Sirius figures out what Kreacher is doing. Poor Hermione. I feel so sorry for her. I really felt for her before but with what happened last chapter even more.
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January 15, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Two chapters? Too cool! Yeah, have some reservations as well about Chapter 15, but your author's response covered almost everything, so I won't repeat what the others have said. A few notes about the chapter though.
*You lulled me in at the beginning with seductive Bella and her breathy promises and shirtless rubbing. (Have I told you I'm looking forward to Ginny's return?) But then, pow! Hermione's no in the basement anymore. Freaky stuff indeed, and you had some suspense and tension going there. I was really, really worried at times.
*I think you really captured Bellatrix's crazy personality with her mothering baby talk one minute and her insane threats the next. Rodolphus was as crazy as his wife, but there is some kind of sick affection in their relationship, even as they were abusing Hermione.
*After this story, I think you need to copyright the term "elfin subliminal teaching". I just makes me giggle...and then read Chapter 14 again. ;)
*I think you hit the nail on the head with our author's notes. The world of Harry Potter is magical and more often than not, the realism of the oustide world doesn't come into play in most fics. Virgins having mutual and multiple orgasms, someone ending up in a happy relationship with Voldemort, Weasley sex orgies. AFF is the only site I frequent and there are some stories I read for plot, others for a...shall we say porn element? When I started your story, I was excited because it seemed to have several of my kinks and I'm all for a good dubious consent fic where everyone's having fun. I didn't expect 16 chapters of plot and research and my having to deal with characters dealing with stuff. I guess what I'm trying to say is...you tricked me into thinking about my smut! Seriously though, while I may not always agree with the direction the story goes, I am still enjoying it immensely. I rambled, but I hope you get the point of this bullet.
*Another note on your note. Book 5 is happening outside of this story. Now there's an AU in itself. Would the events still play themselves out the same way if Hermione wasn't there to suggest the DA? Would the remaining five even make it to the Ministry of Magic? Would they have even ended up in the room with the veil at a time where Sirius would have been there to fall in? By kidnapping Hermione, did Sirius save his own life? Yes, these are the thoughts that are now running through my brain because of your one comment. Thanks a lot!
*Wait, this is going to be a SS/HG fic? Really? You should have kept that to yourself because that's a huge twist that I don't think many would have seen coming. (Unless they know you're a huge SS/HG shipper, in which case they've wondered why it hasn't happened yet.) But Ron loves her. But she hasn't been able to meet up with Draco and have hot sex and turn him to the light side. Snape has barely been in the story and I wasn't expected anything from him expect an acting out of Sirius's fantasy of watching Snape take Hermione. You are just full of surprises!
This has turned out way to long, and I've only commented on your author's notes. I think I'll have to reread chapter 16 again before I review as I'm not sure how I feel about the whole declaration and aftermath adn the toilet. You continue to rock! Even though your notes are now listed as chapter 16 and that's totally going to bother the AR part of me but I'll let it go due to my cherry love.
*You lulled me in at the beginning with seductive Bella and her breathy promises and shirtless rubbing. (Have I told you I'm looking forward to Ginny's return?) But then, pow! Hermione's no in the basement anymore. Freaky stuff indeed, and you had some suspense and tension going there. I was really, really worried at times.
*I think you really captured Bellatrix's crazy personality with her mothering baby talk one minute and her insane threats the next. Rodolphus was as crazy as his wife, but there is some kind of sick affection in their relationship, even as they were abusing Hermione.
*After this story, I think you need to copyright the term "elfin subliminal teaching". I just makes me giggle...and then read Chapter 14 again. ;)
*I think you hit the nail on the head with our author's notes. The world of Harry Potter is magical and more often than not, the realism of the oustide world doesn't come into play in most fics. Virgins having mutual and multiple orgasms, someone ending up in a happy relationship with Voldemort, Weasley sex orgies. AFF is the only site I frequent and there are some stories I read for plot, others for a...shall we say porn element? When I started your story, I was excited because it seemed to have several of my kinks and I'm all for a good dubious consent fic where everyone's having fun. I didn't expect 16 chapters of plot and research and my having to deal with characters dealing with stuff. I guess what I'm trying to say is...you tricked me into thinking about my smut! Seriously though, while I may not always agree with the direction the story goes, I am still enjoying it immensely. I rambled, but I hope you get the point of this bullet.
*Another note on your note. Book 5 is happening outside of this story. Now there's an AU in itself. Would the events still play themselves out the same way if Hermione wasn't there to suggest the DA? Would the remaining five even make it to the Ministry of Magic? Would they have even ended up in the room with the veil at a time where Sirius would have been there to fall in? By kidnapping Hermione, did Sirius save his own life? Yes, these are the thoughts that are now running through my brain because of your one comment. Thanks a lot!
*Wait, this is going to be a SS/HG fic? Really? You should have kept that to yourself because that's a huge twist that I don't think many would have seen coming. (Unless they know you're a huge SS/HG shipper, in which case they've wondered why it hasn't happened yet.) But Ron loves her. But she hasn't been able to meet up with Draco and have hot sex and turn him to the light side. Snape has barely been in the story and I wasn't expected anything from him expect an acting out of Sirius's fantasy of watching Snape take Hermione. You are just full of surprises!
This has turned out way to long, and I've only commented on your author's notes. I think I'll have to reread chapter 16 again before I review as I'm not sure how I feel about the whole declaration and aftermath adn the toilet. You continue to rock! Even though your notes are now listed as chapter 16 and that's totally going to bother the AR part of me but I'll let it go due to my cherry love.
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January 14, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I think that you got Hermione's emotional state perfect. I wonder what Sirius will think of it all, and what he will ask her about it.
Am still loving this story as not to many people are willing to go as far as you have and for that I thank you.
Love Sonia :)
Am still loving this story as not to many people are willing to go as far as you have and for that I thank you.
Love Sonia :)
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January 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I liked this chapter A LOT more than chapter 15. To be honest, after that one I had just about decided not to read this story anymore even with the liberal use of the scroll bar. Thank you for easing things up a bit. I am very interested in the PTSD symptoms you are describing in Hermione. I find this part much more intriguing than the violence of last chapter. I would love to see you delve a little further into that aspect and how Sirius and/or Kreacher deal with it. PTSD can be quite difficult to deal with and can actually begin to occur during the traumatic event. She seems to have reached her limit and doesn't seem like she would be able to handle much more(imho), or maybe it's just me that can't handle much more... Anyway, in that situation I can see her becoming catatonic or the like and really deteriorating in front of them.
To address your response, I appreciate you taking the time to explain where you are coming from. I'm not sure about your discussion of the rape aspect. This seems to me like it is much more that just rape. We all know that rape is wrong but this takes it past that point which is where I have problems with it. You have established that she is unwilling has been brainwashed and trained to be a willing, submissive sex slave. You are very detailed in your descriptions of the techniques used to get her to here and what they do to keep her here. Where I see a problem is that in regards to the story line, you have covered this topic already and are repeating yourself. No, the chapter 15 wouldn't have been interesting if you had used the 1st sentence in your response to describe the whole event. What I guess I am saying is that the event wasn't needed to get your point across. You already got it across. You say that this is gonna eventually be an HG/SS story but you are, what something like 150,000+ words into the story already and SS hasn't even walked through the door.
I probably sound really harsh and bitchy, and I appoligize for that. I have been reading fanfiction for about a year now and this is the 1st story I have ever even posted a review on. Now that I have, I feel invested in this. That is why I want to see something happen rather than her just get perpetually beat up, strung up, whipped and fucked to death.
To address your response, I appreciate you taking the time to explain where you are coming from. I'm not sure about your discussion of the rape aspect. This seems to me like it is much more that just rape. We all know that rape is wrong but this takes it past that point which is where I have problems with it. You have established that she is unwilling has been brainwashed and trained to be a willing, submissive sex slave. You are very detailed in your descriptions of the techniques used to get her to here and what they do to keep her here. Where I see a problem is that in regards to the story line, you have covered this topic already and are repeating yourself. No, the chapter 15 wouldn't have been interesting if you had used the 1st sentence in your response to describe the whole event. What I guess I am saying is that the event wasn't needed to get your point across. You already got it across. You say that this is gonna eventually be an HG/SS story but you are, what something like 150,000+ words into the story already and SS hasn't even walked through the door.
I probably sound really harsh and bitchy, and I appoligize for that. I have been reading fanfiction for about a year now and this is the 1st story I have ever even posted a review on. Now that I have, I feel invested in this. That is why I want to see something happen rather than her just get perpetually beat up, strung up, whipped and fucked to death.
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January 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 15 - I have to be honest, as much as I adore this story and your writing, I didn't particularly care for this chapter. It was way too much for me. Normally I scroll through the icky stuff like the poop and the pee, but I almost felt like scrolling through this whole chapter. When Bellatrix started talking about setting the dogs on her and the hooks, I shivered. Hermione's fear was way too present, which is one of the reason why I don't like the use of the wet pillowcase on her. Plus, I kept thinking about the other slaves they mentioned. Maybe some of them were hanging by hooks in the dungeons. Also, this chapter showed one of the reasons I'm worried about the pregnancy - using it to blackmail her into behaving. This chapter was a departure not only in the darkness, but also in the pleasure. No matter what Sirius and Kreacher do to her, at least they are attentive to Hermione's pleasure. (Two orgasms before their one) From what I could tell, she only go off once in this chapter, and it was by accident. I'm sure all of these comments sound crazy since I'm reviewing a story about a sixteen year old being held as a sex slave in a basement, but I hope my intent comes across. I still think you're cool.
Now onto more positive things - let me second a comment from a previous review. When will Ginny come out to play?
Now onto more positive things - let me second a comment from a previous review. When will Ginny come out to play?
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January 10, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter!! Bellatrix and his husband are a quite crazy duo. Will be interesting to see Hermione with other of the slaves they have, after all maybe she can compare her situation with the others and see she is treated not so bad after all.
Can imagine Hermione being share with others DE, but must keep the anonymity, after all Voldemort will prefer to use her to bring Harry to a trap.
Can wait to read next chapters.
When will Ginny come to play?
JO
Can imagine Hermione being share with others DE, but must keep the anonymity, after all Voldemort will prefer to use her to bring Harry to a trap.
Can wait to read next chapters.
When will Ginny come to play?
JO
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January 10, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Another great chapter. It felt like I was there with Hermione on this journey, and I cringed at some of BB and RB's antics. And what's with Kreacher? Does he finally have feelings for HG more then just a sex slave? I don't mean love or anything, just a little bit of remorse.
Can't wait until next chapter.
Love Sonia :)
Can't wait until next chapter.
Love Sonia :)