rate_review Reviews

Very interesting. I like the content and style of this story. I do have to say though that there are a fair few grammatical errors that did detract from the overall greatness of the story. For example there were times when you wrote was instead of were and where you wrote a word being singular where it should have been plural.

I would suggest using a beta or proof reading your chapters before posting them. That would make a good story great. This one-shot does have the potential to be a great longer story if you were interested in developing it. I wouldn't object to reading more of your work.