schedule
January 3, 2012 at 12:00 AM
No offence but the build up to the story could been better as well as the sex scene. Overall the story seems rushed as if it was rush to get the story written and published on here. Best way to improve I feel would to build up what lend to this MMF, explain the finer details in the MMF! Sorry if I caused any offence but it has potential to be a good story, just needs those tweaks I mentioned.