rate_review Reviews

Its not a bad start. You put in lots of detail which is good and its a decent length for a first chapter but 2 little things did kind of annoy me. Firstly, I have no idea how big a " calafornia sized" bed is. I have never been to Calafornia and I am not American so I don't really get the reference. does that mean it is big?? Or medium?? and why would a british guy have an american bed ? O_o Oh and the scene with harry going all mega power was a bit much. I mean heck it could have just been a prank somebody was playing on him...or he could have actually asked around first if anybody saw something. that big of a reaction is pretty uncalled for...panic sure but an energy ball? really? and sice when is harry like uber uber powerful?? Last time I checked he was fighting Death Eaters with jinxes and Stupefys --______--;

You should really separate your paragraphs.

I agree with Ch3rry. This story is really hard to read without paragraph seperation.