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April 11, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Nice. Very eventful chapter. Sorry, very dumb tonight, but I can't figure out who the mastermind of all this bad stuff is. Hope the name comes out in the next chapter!
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April 9, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 54
Interesting times! I liked the way the Gryffindors banded together to protect Draco, and good for Hermione for being able to work through her completely understandable jealousy. The "kids" are quickly maturing into responsible adults.
"He continued to whittle down the possibilities in this pain-staking way, identifying impossibles, very highly improbables, and finally the possibles."
If you want to hyphenate, then it should be pains-taking, but really a hyphen isn't needed. Painstaking is perfectly acceptable.
Interesting times! I liked the way the Gryffindors banded together to protect Draco, and good for Hermione for being able to work through her completely understandable jealousy. The "kids" are quickly maturing into responsible adults.
"He continued to whittle down the possibilities in this pain-staking way, identifying impossibles, very highly improbables, and finally the possibles."
If you want to hyphenate, then it should be pains-taking, but really a hyphen isn't needed. Painstaking is perfectly acceptable.
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April 8, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 52
Goodness! Plots and devious plans everywhere they turn. Poor Harry, being besieged at school. Hope that gets straightened out soon or he might start considering whether a Hogwarts education is worth all the hassle. Oh, I spotted the same typos again: Maxine and Occlumancy.
Goodness! Plots and devious plans everywhere they turn. Poor Harry, being besieged at school. Hope that gets straightened out soon or he might start considering whether a Hogwarts education is worth all the hassle. Oh, I spotted the same typos again: Maxine and Occlumancy.
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April 7, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Funny you should drop the hint of male pregnancy! I was thinking along the same line! There love is so strong...that it creates the strongest magic that the wizarding world has ever seen before! Their magic so so strong that not only one gets pregnant, but both...each carrying one half of a set of twin boys!I better stop while I'm ahead! This is your story, and I live it so far! Keep 'em coming !!!
Please, don't stop now!
Please, don't stop now!
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April 7, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 50
Whew! I've finally caught up. Well, to date anyway. *g* So much has happened that I can't possibly comment on it all. It's been good to see Arthur come into his own; so often he's shunted to the side or portrayed as being completely under Molly's thumb and/or the dupe of her machinations. I loved your descriptions of the dream world and the way the Bond/Shield manifested, both in the physical world and in Harry's mind. Very imaginative.
You asked me to point out typos, so...
"She knew perfectly well that the real reason he wanted to be there was to recruit members for his Slug Club; she privately thought he was on a hiding to nothing there...." A hiding to nothing? Is there a typo? I don't understand what it means.
"'Very good,' Flitwick continued. 'Now, to your classes. This morning, you will have Defence, Transfiguration, and Muggle Studies. Some of you are not taking Defense, but we do suggest you attend this class....'" Defence/Defense.
I believe it's Occlumency, not Occlumancy, and isn't it Madame Maxime, not Maxine? Also, I thought I spotted "lead" instead of "led," but I can't find it here. Maybe it was in the previous chapter.
Whew! I've finally caught up. Well, to date anyway. *g* So much has happened that I can't possibly comment on it all. It's been good to see Arthur come into his own; so often he's shunted to the side or portrayed as being completely under Molly's thumb and/or the dupe of her machinations. I loved your descriptions of the dream world and the way the Bond/Shield manifested, both in the physical world and in Harry's mind. Very imaginative.
You asked me to point out typos, so...
"She knew perfectly well that the real reason he wanted to be there was to recruit members for his Slug Club; she privately thought he was on a hiding to nothing there...." A hiding to nothing? Is there a typo? I don't understand what it means.
"'Very good,' Flitwick continued. 'Now, to your classes. This morning, you will have Defence, Transfiguration, and Muggle Studies. Some of you are not taking Defense, but we do suggest you attend this class....'" Defence/Defense.
I believe it's Occlumency, not Occlumancy, and isn't it Madame Maxime, not Maxine? Also, I thought I spotted "lead" instead of "led," but I can't find it here. Maybe it was in the previous chapter.
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April 7, 2014 at 12:00 AM
This story just keeps getting better & better! I hope you won't allow anyone to split Harry & Draco apart...not even for a little bit.
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April 6, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 24
Hmm. Considering that Yaxley's on the loose, maybe they shouldn't try to undo Moody's spells at Grimmauld Place. I'm a bit worried about what kind of vengeance Draco et al are planning for the Dursleys. I prefer it when they are placed under spells that let them experience everything they did to Harry rather than being captured and tortured, but guess I'll find out soon enough what their fates are. :-)
When I said your writing is excellent, I wasn't referring only to your storytelling talent but also that it is technically good. I've only noticed a few misspellings and they were obviously typos. I'm sure you're aware what a rarity that is in fanfic writing, and how refreshing it is to come across a writer who knows that one "pores" over books, not "pours," and that the past tense of the verb "lead" is "led." I won't even mention poor punctuation and syntax. Anyway, bottom line, I'm enjoying this for multiple reasons.
Hmm. Considering that Yaxley's on the loose, maybe they shouldn't try to undo Moody's spells at Grimmauld Place. I'm a bit worried about what kind of vengeance Draco et al are planning for the Dursleys. I prefer it when they are placed under spells that let them experience everything they did to Harry rather than being captured and tortured, but guess I'll find out soon enough what their fates are. :-)
When I said your writing is excellent, I wasn't referring only to your storytelling talent but also that it is technically good. I've only noticed a few misspellings and they were obviously typos. I'm sure you're aware what a rarity that is in fanfic writing, and how refreshing it is to come across a writer who knows that one "pores" over books, not "pours," and that the past tense of the verb "lead" is "led." I won't even mention poor punctuation and syntax. Anyway, bottom line, I'm enjoying this for multiple reasons.
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April 6, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Just finished reading all 49 chapters... CAN'T WAIT !!!! for more!
Had me hooked from the start!
Had me hooked from the start!
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April 6, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 28
Nasty dream, that. Hopefully Draco can make it all better. ^_^ Harry handled Rita very well; it just remains to be seen how she spins what she was told.
Nasty dream, that. Hopefully Draco can make it all better. ^_^ Harry handled Rita very well; it just remains to be seen how she spins what she was told.
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April 6, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 30
"Rita Skeeter was absolutely furious. She had written what she thought was a brilliant article, and that blankety blank blank no-good low-life Cuffe had edited it to death. True, he'd managed to get a photo, and a pretty good one too, but that hardly made up for what he'd done to her text. Hers! All hers! No-one ever touched her articles!"
This paragraph's font size didn't enlarge with the rest of the chapter. Did anyone else have this problem, or was it a Kindle issue?
So glad that everything went smoothly with the Grangers and that Hermione and Ron will be home soon. I have a feeling that Harry will be needing all his friends around him before too long. Good chapter!
"Rita Skeeter was absolutely furious. She had written what she thought was a brilliant article, and that blankety blank blank no-good low-life Cuffe had edited it to death. True, he'd managed to get a photo, and a pretty good one too, but that hardly made up for what he'd done to her text. Hers! All hers! No-one ever touched her articles!"
This paragraph's font size didn't enlarge with the rest of the chapter. Did anyone else have this problem, or was it a Kindle issue?
So glad that everything went smoothly with the Grangers and that Hermione and Ron will be home soon. I have a feeling that Harry will be needing all his friends around him before too long. Good chapter!