My face at the end of the chapter was all ... "But, but, but. Where's the SMUT?!" LMBO! But...I'll let it go. It certainly sets him apart from the other two.... ;oD
I love Snape. I'm in love with him. He should have lived. Damn J.K.R. Grr.
Chapter 16
This was sweet. Draco is obviously keen but much of his motivation seems to revolve around dissuading her from his father. I wonder where the separation comes between his true desire and that of what he perceives to be his competition.
‘The only part of him not thinking soft was his cock.’ – luckily enough :)
‘chemical cannonade’ – nice alliteration!
‘like a pervy wanker’ – would you believe I remember that from chapter 3 of TMG?
‘“Perhaps you’re not looking close enough.”’ – LOL - clever, clever ;)
‘suddenly sliding up his body like a greased eel.’ – what could be more sexy?
‘blissful samadhi could be attained with nothing more than a wet witch and Knut’s worth of soap’ – bahahahah!
‘his body and brain no longer under his control, his inner world laid bare for anyone who cared to see.’ – lovely bit of vulnerability
‘calm Draco erratic heart rate’ – Draco’s?
Now I’m trying to remember who’s next – Lucius or Snape? I’m feeling like a bit of Snape at the moment but will be interested in either :)
Chapter 17
I was writing a really great review and my two year old was crawling all over my lap and desk and somehow deleted the damned thing....GRR! I will try and mkae this one as good as the last.
I don't know how you're accomplishing this...but you're making me start to like Lucius Malfoy. *shudder* I really like you're spectacular, detailed, and well characterized back story. Giving us some insight on how you preceived LM through Rowlings' descriptions of him throughout the original series and precisely expanded on that story in a completely believable fashion left me wanting more. I think your depiction of him is spot on. It's how I grasped his character as well. Letting us see how we went from mudblood hating Death-Eater to lusting after Hermione was perfectly rendered.
I loved how you had him break Hermione down into a way that was making him...dare I say...fall for her. His comparison of her to Narcissa's "fiery passion" and "spark of life" making him come back to life was well played. I also appreciated the Gryffindor reference of her "independent and spitfire" nature were "rewards" for him, where in the past they would have been annoying nuances.
I'm loving this strong, sexy, and confident Hermione. I'm guarded right along with her against Lucius' charms and attitude. I like how she's goading him, but still giving him an honest to goodness chance.
Another perfectly written piece of fanfiction art. I love it.
Avidly watching for the next chapter,
Cheers!
~*LissaD
Quite simply, lovely.
Chapter 16
You’re very welcome for all the reviews – it was the least I could do. You (and DS) have inspired me to “pick up the pen” (or keyboard, I guess) so to say. I haven’t written a thing in almost 15 years, and BOOM. A prologue and 6 chapters in a week. Reviews are a must, I remember how motivated they keep fan fiction writers! Totally my pleasure.
Okay, I know you said this isn’t a Dramione story, but you’re kinda making me fall in love with them. Especially after this last chapter. Snape, shmape. Who’s he again? LOL! Super sweet and sexy. I’m really loving how vulnerable you’re making him. Makes my heart ache. <3
Chapter 15 –
‘Only if it's the slowest hummingbird known to mankind :)’ – maybe you need to stun it first? Or find one that’s obese :P
‘damped’ – should be dampen?
‘She’d been amassing a children's library since the start of the pregnancy,’ – that’s exactly what I did . . . we have craploads of them. ‘round-eyed wonder of child to bring each story to life’ – I love that. I still read to the kids every day and they’re 9 and 12 . . . they still love it.
‘she couldn’t tell if he was impersonating the Potions master or questioning her sanity’ – hey! Don’t you go suddenly making me like that bloody cat too . . . I’m warning you!
‘sticky dates with her fingers’ – LOL, is she making a sticky date pudding?
‘cross between a white tiger and a pimp’ – endangered and sort of blingy :D
‘like an onion—savory but not to everyone’s taste’ – and keeps repeating on you if you eat too much :)
‘celebrated as a win both mentally and vaginally’ – hahah, always up for a vaginal celebration.
‘detailed entomology’ – entomology is the study of insects, did you mean etymology?
‘returning to his bollock bath’ – bahahah, awesome!
Okay, so much to look forward to now . . . I don’t have any particular preference which is a first!
Chapter 15
Oh, it’s so nice to see you again, sir. Have you met my puss, Muffy? Oh! Mr. Malfoy! Is this how you greet all new minge? - Totally barked a laugh out loud. Lewd Hermione is quite endearing. Hahahaha!
What a pair. One wanted satin and lace, one warned her to wear warm knickers. They both had a knack for demanding that she meet them when and where they decided. – Another giggle worthy line.
I’m rooting for Snape, even though I know this is a Dramione story. Sorry, not sorry? LMBO. I love how sweet Draco is in this one, but it’s the power plays that turn this girl on.
More, please.
Chapter 14
So Draco is certainly growing on me and the relationship feels very authentic. He seems quite innocent, in fact, which is not really a trait I would have associated with him. He’s not the one I would naturally be rooting for, of course, but he’s ahead in my book at the moment . . . let’s see how long that lasts ;)
‘breathy promise of her praise on his lips’ – nice!
‘make his brain sweat’ – hahah, that’s an OO-ism
‘even if he had go last’ – missing ‘to’
‘make her scream like a Mandrake’ - *snort*
‘epic penile proportions’ – I so love his EPPs.
‘by fact that’ – missing ‘the’
‘was she too gobsmacked by Snape’s dick to remember either Malfoy?’ – I like his ruminations and insecurities here.
‘Merlin’s mossy teeth!’ – too funny.
‘as you don’t mind me feeling you up while you do it. But I can be really quiet.”’ – hahah, the old sneaky feel up trick.
‘one-handed package repacking’ – such a useful skill. :P
‘Draco slid is foot’ – ‘his’
‘If he was the one she had the most fun with, maybe he could convince her Lucius and Snape were unnecessary’ – aww, nice planning.
‘furiously fought its confinement to wave back’ - *double snort*
‘Point and flex—she danced along the edge of his dick like a prima ballerina, foot-wanking him with the most wicked smile on her face.’ – deliciously funny and sexy.
‘drunken hummingbird’ – that reminds me, are you going to get me a picture this summer?
‘He gotten’ – ‘he’d’
‘Suck on that, Daddy Dearest. Fuck you and the rose you rode in on.’ – oooh, things are getting a little testy here. I love the fact that each is already trying to outdo the next. To what lengths will they go?
Looking forward to bath time now . . . scrub a dub!
This was lovely! I always love an emotional Draco who doesn't lose that devious streak. I have to admit it, Draco is my favorite! And that's hard to have in this story, you've made me more of a Lucius fan than I normally am. And a perverted potions master is hard to defeat, but an affectionate Draco? I'm sold!
Chapter 14 - Perfection. All though because if your other FF, I'm totally rooting for Snape. 😂