I just found your story and started reading it. I just finished chapter one. Your story has a lot of promise and I think it's very good. Very stimulating and the theme is certainly an appealing one, but I must point out a slight lack of imagination in certain areas as well as a few errors in consistency, grammar, and spelling. The grammar and spelling are easily overlooked. But in one part of chapter one, you refer to Harry's size as 7 inches, and a few paragraphs down start saying he is nine inches. Consistency is important in a good story. In my stories, I like to do a read through after I finish each chapter, before posting it. Also, it could be better if you were more imaginative. As exciting as your story is, I can't help feel a bit disappointed. Still, I can't wait to read the next chapter because it really is quite good.
