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July 14, 2024 at 12:00 AM
I know this was your first story so I won't be too harsh. This was a bit hard for me to keep reading without punctuation separating dialogue, and separating paragraphs for separate speakers.
For example, when Harry just arrives at Gringotts, this structure would make it much more readable:
"Ah, Mr. Potter, I presume?" asked the aged goblin.
Harry replied, "Please, just call me Harry. What exactly is this all about?"