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Searching My Soul	By : snapesgirl1981 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 14666 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Searching My Soul

by snapesgirl1981

Summary: SSHP After another painful summer with the Dursley's Harry returns to Grimauld Place and gets plagued by erotic dreams about Severus Snape who he blames for Sirius death. What will happen when Snape shares these dreams with him and will both overcome their hatred?
Rating: NC-17, slash, explicit scenes

Disclaimer: JKR owns Harry Potter, I let them have some fun. The title was taken from Vonda Shepard's Searching my Soul, from the album Songs from Ally McBeal.

Chapter 1

It was the strangest feeling Harry had ever endured when he stepped into Grimauld Place 12 after having to suffer four weeks at the Dursleys being constantly watched and being even more suspected of attacking his three only relatives. It wasn't joy, at least not the untainted exhilaration he usually felt when being allowed to leave Pivet Drive with a whole year of Hogwarts, Quidditch, magic and his friends ahead of him. It wasn't a feeling of coming home when he knew that Sirius wasn't anywhere in the house, wasn't going to question him on his summer and wasn't going to answer all kinds of silly questions about his parents. It was simply a house away from his relatives, away from the ordinary world where he had once lived, filled with people he trusted and liked who knew what he was talking about when he mentioned Voldemort.
He heaved the huge trunk to the floor and let Tonks pass him to see where everybody was, mentally sighing as he watched the semi-dark hallway which was currently empty and deserted. Ron and Hermione were still in the Burrow and would return after the weekend and after what Tonks had told him the only inhabitants right now were Remus and Snape, his hated potions Master. He hoped he wouldn't see him much, the way it had been last summer when he was rarely in the house because somewhere deep inside after countless hours spent lying in his dark room sleepless and contemplating who was to blame for Sirius death he had come to the conclusion that Severus Snape was. He had failed to teach Harry how to protect his mind from Voldemort and he had tempted his godfather to be incautious when he knew he was in danger.
Remus Lupin appeared in the doorway to the kitchen and smiled honestly pleased at seeing Harry safe and sound.
"Welcome back Harry! Why don't you come inside and have a piece of cake and something drink?" His face stretched into a wide smile almost hiding the sad note in his eyes. Almost.
Harry nodded and passed the werewolf into the brightly lit kitchen. It was already dark outside, Tonks originally had promised to get him at eight in the evening but using brooms a storm had delayed her. By now it was long after midnight and there were still some raindrops on his glasses as he sat down at the table next to the now pink haired Auror. She handed him a cup of steaming tea and a plate with some chocolate cake on it.
"Here, this should warm you up Harry after that nasty weather outside." She chuckled softly. "Never knew you were such a good flyer but the way you handled that gust of wind- no wonder you are a seeker."
Somehow the hot tea warming his ice cold hands and the creamy taste of chocolate in his mouth made him feel better and when Tonks and Remus started talking about Quidditch and who was currently the best team in England a lot of tension seemed to pour out of his body. The quiet voices were beginning to make him sleepy as his head sank to the table and slowly his eyes closed as he drifted into a deep sleep.

The room was dimly lit and somehow the knowledge that he was currently naked wasn't bothering him the least. Judging from the rough feel on the soles of his feet he was walking on a wooden floor and a slight summer breeze ruffled his hair and caressed his body making him aroused as if a thousand hands were touching him. He stilled in his movement and closed his eyes closely listening to the silence of the room. Only the soft sound of somebody sleeping, a slight peaceful snoring could be heard, not loud enough to catch your attention if you were walking but now penetrating his ears. Somebody was in here. Somehow this knowledge made him shudder and to his wonder several parts of his body reacted to that thread of thought with an intensity like never before. Not even thoughts of Cho Chang had made his cock as painfully hard as right now and he was tempted to touch it, to put his fingers around it. But he resisted knowing that somewhere inside this room something was worth the effort.
He made some more steps and when he saw the bed he stilled again his eyes taking in greedily the tall, pale shape laying outstretched on the black silken sheets. Somet abo about him seemed familiar but he couldn't care, couldn't think about that right now when he wanted to touch this figure, wanted to let his hands explore if the skin felt soft or lined, if his body smelled like potions or like wood and if his lips would part if he covered them with his own. He stepped closer and sat down quietly on the silken sheets the only sounds in the room his laboured breathing and the soft snores. His chest was moving slightly and a soft sprinkle of dark hairs covered it trailing down in a small line over his navel and down to his groin. Harry's fingers itched to touch the flesh, to run his fingers through the black hair and to see if he could make him as aroused as he himself felt right now.
Instead he looked into his face, the complexion there as pale as the rest of his body and the way his hooked nose appeared almost noble now, casting a slight shadow on his upper lip. His neck almost graceful, the skin there slightly bruised and for the first time Harry saw all the little bruises all over his body. The contrast of the pale blue-ish colored skin to the white of the rest made him shudder once again. He gently extended his hand and so very carefully touched his left arm, the one that was closest to him, covering the place where the mark used to be, but that was currently nothing more than am area of raw flesh. His skin felt hot, almost feverish under his touch and he shortly stirred in his sleep. Harry let his hand slide up his arm over his battered shoulder until it rested over his collarbone. Soothingly he cupped his cheek and softly touched his slightly opened lips feeling their softness under his by now trembling fingers.
The urge to kiss him, to feel the touch his lips on his own, to still that burning hunger inside himself was overwhelming in this second and slowly he bend down and placed his lips on top of his. He was so warm, so soft as Harry traced the inside of his lips with his eager tongue and a silent moan escaped his lips only silenced by the other man's. Harry knew that he wasn't supposed to do this, it was against the rules, he wasn't homosexual, he wasn't attracted to this man but all these reasons escaped his mind as he felt the contact of a tongue against his. The other mouth opened and allowed him entrance almost sucking his tongue inside, playing there with it. He eagerly explored the inside of his mouth, the soft texture of his teeth until sheer lack of oxygen forced them apart. Instantly Harry's green eyes sought his dark ones and he felt his cock harden once again as he saw the carnal desire there. He inhaled sharply when a surprisingly soft hand touched his chest, rubbing over his nipple until it was erect. Another moan escaped the boy's mouth as he closed his eyes enjoying the sheer pleasure of the touch. The hand wandered to the other side of his chest and continued its exploration there until the other nipple was mimicking the first.
"More!" His voice was strained with passion and he groaned when the powerful hand moved down his belly shortly slowing down around his navel and closed around his by now almost painfully hard cock. The other arm closed around his shoulder, gently pushing him down on the silken sheet and the last bits of tension left Harry's body. He knew he was close, so very close to his release and as the warm hand began to pump his cock he started to tremble with his release even before he cupped his balls. A soft moan cut through the room as he splashed his seed over his own body and he ripped his eyes open staring in his potions Master's dark orbs. The passion in them seemed to scourge him and he felt drawn to him like a moth to a flame. Snape let his now limb cock go and gripped his cheek forcing him to hold his gaze.

"You are mine, Potter, no matter what you say or think." He stared into Harry's eyes willing him to agree. Slowly the boy nodded.

"Yes," he whispered.
Harry awoke with a start for a moment startled of his surroundings but then he recognized the room he had shared with Ron last summer. Tonks or Remus must have carried him here after he had fallen asleep and right now he was glad Ron was still in the Burrow. His body was covered with sweat and to his shame thick white wetness covered his belly making him painfully aware that he had just climaxed dreaming about Snape touching him.
He cursed silently and got up swiftly changing his pyjama top and pants with another pair from his trunk and then stepped to the window which was slightly open. The summer breeze cooled his feverish face as he tried to rationalize his dream. It wasn't unusual for a boy his age to have wet dreams and according to Ron and Seamus they had been experiencing these kind of dreams regularly for one or two years now. Only Harry had never had such dreams in his life and surely all dreams including Snape so far had been sorted into the category nightmares.
So why had he then just experienced the most intense dream about a man he hated with all his heart, a man he blamed for his godfather's death and a person he thought so unappealing that he was shaking with disgust by now? It made no sense whatsoever and he tried to ban the memory of his gentle touch from his mind, the feeling of warmth and love he had shortly experienced, the way he had pumped his cock to climax faster than Harry had ever managed to. He surely wasn't gay, he wasn't interested in man in that way, had never ever thought about any of his male friends in this aspect and he had been in love with Cho last year. Granted, it hadn't worked out but that wasn't because he was homosexual, it was because there were just too many things separating them.

He sighed softly staring into the dark backyard trying to remain calm and focused when in reality panic wanted to overtake him. He had had a weeam eam about the ugly, greasy, bat-like head of Slytherin, a teacher whose apparent hobby it was to torture him in potion classes, who had been a Death Eater once and maybe still was, the man he hated and not lusted after. It made no sense at all and he leaned his hot forehead against the cool glass of his window. Hedwig's cage was empty, the door opened so obvi-ously she was somewhere outside hunting. Somehow this thought made him feel worse knowing that in all reality he was truly alone.
Somewhere in the house Snape was sleeping right now, maybe even on a black silken sheet, maybe even naked waiting for him to pleasure him. Harry groaned and pinched his arm brutally when his cock stirred to live again. Why Snape?

to be continued�
Hope you like and please review. This has not been beta read so any mistakes are mine. I am German so please take that into account when judging about my writing skills.
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Searching My Soul