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Alone I Break	By : Nightshade Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 1769 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Alone I Break
- 1
Disclaimer: Don't own them, J.K. Rowling does. The song lyrics belong to Korn from their latest album Untouchables. The phrase Harry remembers is not from the actual book, but rather from the Chamber of Secrets movie.
Rating: R for language
Category: Harry/Draco (is there anything else?)
Summary: "Come with me, Potter." ...
A/N: This story takes place sometime during the end of the gang's 7th year. (~*~) before paragraphs indicates flashbacks. For Serpentigena, Lunadeath, Dahlia, and Pyralisha.
"Alone I Break"
I will make it go away,
Can't be here no more,
Seems this is the only way,
I will soon be gone,
These feelings will be gone,
These feelings will be gone.
Now I see the times they change,
Leaving us it seems so strange,
I am hoping I can find,
Where to leave my hurt behind,
All the shit I seem to take,
All alone I seem to break,
I have lived the best I can,
Does this make me not a man?
"Alone I Break" --Korn

It was the weirdest feeling--chasing after him through the tangled foliage of the surrounding forest. The feeling of rough branches scraping against my cheek and ripping at my robes. The feeling of adrenaline pumping through my entire body. The feeling of the hunt.
Of me being the hunter and, Draco Malfoy, my prey.
As we ran on, and I heard the distant shouts of Ron and Hermione behind us, I suddenly was reminded of the brutal Quidditch match during our second year. I remembered exactly what he had said as he elbowed me out of his way.
"You'll never catch me, Potter!"
He had been wrong then and he would be wrong now. I would catch him again.
I had to. He was our only lead...
~*~*~
It turned out that Dumbledore and his associates had gathered enough proof to bring down Voldemort and to put Lucius Malfoy away for life at Azkaban. However, we didn't count on Draco overhearing Dumbledore's plan. The arrogant git went straight for the nearest owl to send a frantic warning to his father. Before we could even send Aurors to the Manor to apprehend them, they had disappeared. Narcissa, whom Lucius had abandoned long before in favor of a more intimate relationship with the former Tom Riddle, was found murdered in her bed.
Aurors all over the country searched high and low for the elder Malfoy and his lover, but to no avail. Lucius and Voldemort had simply vanished. Eventually all eyes turned to Draco. They knew that Lucius wouldn't just leave without telling someone where he was.
We all suspected that Draco knew exactly where his father had gone, but no one had any proof. And, upon being questioned, Draco just coolly and calmly answered the Ministry's questions. He was unbreakable--a statue. He didn't bat an eye. Truth serum was used, but it likewise failed to produce a satisfactory response to the baffled Ministry agents. After a while, the Aurors had to give up, the whispers died down and life returned to normal--well as normal as anything can be when you attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Months passed and everybody started worrying about their exit tests and whether or not they would get to graduate. Hermione was an absolute wreck. She was constantly carrying around a ton of books, and various papers continuously spilled out of her school bag wherever she went. Ron, trying to be a good boyfriend, wisely kept his mouth shut and did whatever she said.
In general, everyone seemed to have forgotten about Draco Malfoy in the excitement of the end of year activity.
Everyone except me--and Dumbledore of course. But he didn't know Malfoy like I did. He didn't understand him. Malfoy was my enemy. The bane of my existence. The bloody thorn in my side. He was, without a doubt, the most irritating individual on the face of the earth--but he had gone to school with me for almost seven years. Unfortunately Malfoy was just as much a part of my life as Ron and Hermione were. When he got the Dark Mark at the end of our sixth year--and I only found out because he and Ron had gotten into a fist fight and his sleeve pulled up--I felt a strange sort of melancholy take possession of my heart. It was as if I had finally seen that it was too late for him--too late for...for what exactly I never could figure out.
So, my point is that I knew him. I knew how he looked when he was angry. I knew how happy he got when Snape praised him in Potions. I saw how stupid he found Crabbe and Goyle, but how stubbornly he clung to them because they were, sadly, his only friends.
Perhaps I also knew--deep down where I was loathe to admit it--that Malfoy grieved for his dead mother (like I still grieved for mine), whose only crime was loving a man who didn't love her. Pps Ips I knew that he resented his father for killing her even though he still loved and respected him. That he was torn between his love for Narcissa, his love for Lucius and his fear of Voldemort and maybe...just maybe he just didn't. See. A. Way. Out.
Or maybe it was because I knew how hard he watched me when he thought no one was looking.
It was because of all of these things and none of these things that I knew exactly when he was going to run.

Strangely enough, it was an accidental meeting in the hall on the way to our afternoon classes that tipped me off. I was heading to Divination (don't ask me why I still took that crap) with my head down, when I ran into someone coming around the corner. Books and papers went flying everywhere. There was a pregnant pause and then:
"Watch where you're fucking going, Potter!"
"It's not like I wanted to run into you on purpose, you prat!" I snarled back. I glared at him and stooped down to pick up my stuff. Our hands reached for the same stack of papers at the same time and our fingers touched. Shocked at the spark I felt, my green eyes flew up to meet his own silver ones, and our gazes locked.
And that's when I saw it. This flicker of...something. Something like regret?
In the next instant it was gone and he snatched the papers out of my hands. "These are mine, you arse. Notice the expensive quality of the parchment?"
My face grew red. "You know, I really hope Ron tramples your arse in the end of year Chess Tournament next week. I mean, it's unlikely that you could beat him anyway, but I really hope he humiliates you!"
And this is where things got even more strange. Malfoy just gave me a strange smile and said, "Perhaps. Perhaps not." Then he turned and walked away. There was no 'I'm better than Weasley will ever hope to be' or 'I'm a fucking Malfoy for Merlin's sake. No one beats me!' Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
I wish I could say I knew something was amiss then, but I can't. It was only hours later, when I was sitting in the Gryffindor common room after dinner, that it hit me.
Dear Merlin. Draco Malfoy was going to make a run for it that night. I was sure of it.

Quickly explaining the situation to Ron and Hermione, I implored them to hurry and get Dumbledore while I staked out the main entrance. I couldn't really get into why I knew Malfoy was going to try and leave that night as there wasn't much time. I just asked them to hurry. If we let him get away we'd never find Lucius and Voldemort.
"You're not going to try and stop him yourself are you Harry?" Hermione wrung her hands; obviously frazzled. "Promise me you won't!" She refused to budge until I gave my word. I didn't want to lie to her so I shook my head.
"I promise that I will try and wait for you guys to get the Headmaster. If he tries to leave before then, I can't promise you that I won't go after him."
"But--"
"I can take care of myself, 'Mione. Now go."
"Kick his arse if you have to, Harry." Ron said grimly.
Hermione didn't look at all pleased, but she left with Ron through the portrait. I followed them out and took up my position by the main doors into the school. I waited in the shadows and checked to make sure my wand was in my pocket. I didn't have long to wait. Malfoy appeared momentarily with a small pack on his back. He headed straight for the doors and I stepped out before he could get to them. I didn't waste time with small talk. I just aimed my wand at him.
"Stupefy!" I shouted.
But Malfoy had his wand out and deflected my hex. He then shot a stun hex at me and I couldn't block in time. So while I was disoriented, he raced out the doors and into the night. He must have been distracted because the spell wore off five minutes later and I took off after him. Casting a quick locator spell on my quarry, I quickly headed in the direction he had gone--into the Forbidden Forest.

I chased Malfoy into a large clearing and was surprised when he suddenly stopped. He slowly turned to face me with a wicked grin on his face.
"Come to play the hero again, Harry?"
"If I have to." I replied evenly. "Give it up, Malfoy, there's nowhere to go. Dumbledore will be here any minute now."
His grin grew even more feral. "I beg to differ, Potter." And he motioned to an ordinary branch lying on the ground beside him.
Oh fuck. A Portkey.
He must have noticed my eyes grow wide because he laughed. "What did you expect, Potter? That I just came running into a forest that I hate for my health? My father gave me specific instructions and I intend to follow them." He paused as he heard Ron's frantic voice shouting my name somewhere behind us. "Now if you'll excuse me..."
"Don't." I barked; a panic gripping my chest. I couldn't explain why I was getting so riled up. It was just Malfoy for Christ's sake. Right?
He turned to look at me curiously and that strange emotion was back in his eyes again. "Don't what?"
It was Malfoy, true, but I knew him. I had to try.
"Don't go." I shook my head in frustration. "Don't go to him I mean. Stay here and help us." I grew steadily bolder. "Help us fight them, Malfoy."
He sneered at me. "What makes you think I want to help you?"
"Because you're listening to me. Come on, you don't have to go to him. You can stay here. And if you help us I'll make sure you don't get into trouble for omitting information in an investigation. We could say that Lucius threatened you or something!"
That gave him pause. "Why are you saying this? You don't care about me."
Here it was, the moment of truth. "Maybe...maybe I do."
He stared at me for a moment until Ron's voice shouted my name again and brought him out of his trance. Their shouts sounded a lot closer.
"As touching as all this is, Potter, I think I'm going to have to pass."
I was angry. "Why?"
"Because we're on opposites sides, that's why! God, wake up and stop living in the little fantasy world you've created for yourself, Potter! There are no happy endings here!"
I wanted to strangle him. "There could be!"
"No!" He shouted back. Then the anger seemed to drain out of him. "No, there can't." He opened his mouth as if to say something, then thought better of it and closed it again. I wasn't going to let him get off that easy.
"What?"
Eying me critically, he seemed to make up his mind. "I dreamed of you, you know. Several times in fact. Dreams where you didn't hate me, where you were my friend and...sometimes more." He paused as he struggled to find the words. "Dreams where I could get out of the shadows long enough to just touch you. To be in your light and just... be in you." He smiled bitterly. "But I never could get out of those shadows, Potter. Every time I tried, I just got swallowed up more and more. So tell me just how you're supposed to help me when I can't help myself?"
I stared at him, tears running unnoticed down my cheeks. Why did it have to be like this? Why did I feel so empty inside?
"So don't fool yourself, Potter. There are no happy endings for someone like me."
"Go." I said quietly.
"What?" He whispered.
"I said go. Go now before they get here." He didn't move. "GO!" I shouted at him.
He looked into my eyes and saw...well whatever it is that he saw shining there. I didn't quite understand it myself, so how could I expect him to?
"Come with me."
Somehow I wasn't surprised by his request. "I can't do that."
He nodded. "I figured it was worth a shot." He turned towards the branch, and then just as suddenly he was whirling back around and stalking towards me. His lips met mine in a soul consuming kiss and when I opened my mouth to protest, he slipped his tongue inside to mate with mine. After a moment he pulled away. "I always wanted to do that."
I nodded in understanding. "Me too."
He went back to the Portkey. "Come with me." He said again.
For one moment I considered going with him, but I knew I would never be able to live with myself.
"No. Now go before I change my mind or Ron and the others get here."
"One day, Potter." He began, his eyes serious. "One day I'll come back--"
"Don't," I said simply. "If you come back, Malfoy, I will have to kill you."
He looked shocked for a moment and then he grinned. "Always playing the hero, eh Harry?"
"Of course. It gets bloody annoying after a while though."
He chuckled a bit and then with a sad smile, and a wave of his hand, he touched the branch and was gone.
"Goodbye Draco." I whispered and licked my kiss swollen lips.
I could still taste him.
- 1
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Alone I Break