Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

The Mash Fics: Volume Harry	By : Juushika Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 3179 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The Mash Fics: Volume Harry
- 2-Chapter Two
- 1
- 2
AUTHOR�S
NOTE: Yes, I know this is strange and OOC (it�s going into a series of strange
ficcis o� mine) and it is so because� uhm� I got really bored one night and
decided to play MASH, but like, use random plots and characters, to see who�d
end up together and what to write about� eheh. <<;;

MASH CRITERIA: Harry must be uke to Severus. Harry must
Cross-dress. *evil, pervy laughter*

WARNINGS: Yeah� so this is slash. Duh. Why are you reading
this if you don�t like slash when I clearly stated in the summery that it was?
Huh? HUH?!

Also, there are multiple annoying Author�s Notes as I
attempted to explain some things and fail miserably. YAY!

~~~~~

Harry Potter sat before his
slightly banged up vanity, timidly pressing a makeup brush to his cheek, glancing
down at the popular teen girl�s magazine lying open on his lap; just like he
had watched Hermione do so many times before. He had just gotten back to his
new muggle apartment from a woman�s department store, which had been highly
embarrassing. He had quickly grabbed the magazine off a rack and headed into
the clothing section, only to be assaulted by a very amused looking saleswoman.
�Can I help you find something, dear?�

Harry had
looked up sheepishly from the blouse he was examining, flushed an even brighter
shade of red, and mumbled something about shopping for his sister�s birthday,
while studying his scuffed-up trainers. The woman smiled, obviously not
believing him in the slightest, and offered to show him what was in style with
girls his age now. She led him around, occasionally holding an article of
clothing up to him, nodding to herself, and throwing it into the ever-growing
pile in Harry�s arms. Then she moved on to the cosmetics aisle. Harry had left
rather dazed with an entire new wardrobe and enough makeup to fill a purse (he
was also talked into buying a purse to respectively stuff his makeup into).

Harry sighed and set down the
brush. His scar was pretty much indistinguishable under all the flesh colored
goo and powder he had applied to it, and if he brushed his bangs the right way,
you couldn�t see it at all. He had just figured out how to apply eyeliner
without making a large ugly dark brown line, and had managed to only poke
himself in the eye with the mascara brush twice. He had managed to figure out
how to use the contacts he had gotten in a decent amount of time, and he
figured he�d get used to the feeling of plastic constantly being in his eyes
soon enough. The eyelash curler was the scariest thing he had had to do, but he
thankfully didn�t rip out his eyelashes with it altogether.

Harry quickly glossed some rosy
color to his lips and dared a look in the mirror in order to take the whole
thing in. It scared him a little, to see a young girl in a stylish (according
to the saleswoman) summer dress looking back at him instead of the seventeen
year-old boy he was accustomed to. He had even quickly bought some wizarding
quick growth potion for his hair, which was now a little above his shoulders,
which was quite more manageable now that it was long, and had applied clear
nail varnish to his fingers. Well, he now looked like a girl, but he still
worried about giving himself away by doing something stupid. So he set about
practicing crossing his legs without hurting himself, and walked around for
nearly an hour in his high heels.

Harry was later elated to find that
not only did no one who might have been a wizard or witch in muggle London
recognize him, but also no one that he could tell had suspected that he might
be anything but female. He even collected quite a few phone numbers. Harry was
in fact gay, but going out with straight men who thought that he was a women
just seemed very wrong, so he trashed them all, although a bit reluctantly.

Finding a place to live was even
more challenging then forcing himself to go dress shopping for the first time,
as he was still a minor (AN: Okay, so I don�t actually know the �magical legal
age of adulthood� of London or anywhere near it, so I�m just going to assume
that it�s 18, like over here in the US of A. Yes, I could look it up, but that
might force me to change my magical fic plan, or make Harry younger, which
would be sorta icky. Phht.) and had absolutely no credit history to speak of,
but had eventually ended up finding a decent loft above a small bookstore to
live in for the time being. The building was owned by an elderly woman, Mrs.
Weldon, who had managed to weasel �Lily Evans�� (AN: Yes, Harry is creative and
stole his mother�s name. I absolutely could not let him name himself �Harriet� or
�Harmony� *gags*.) story out of him, and after a good amount of gushing on her
part, let him rent the loft as long as �she� worked downstairs in the bookshop
for her. Harry of course agreed, as she was paying him for his work, and Mrs.
Weldon had quickly become a grandmother figure to him.

Business was always fairly slow in
the shop, so Harry was sitting behind the counter with his elbows propped up on
it, resting his chin on his hands, idly sipping coke through a straw and
starting vacantly at the wall above the biography section, when the light
jingling of bells announced the arrival of a potential customer. He started
slightly and immediately started to fiddle with the cash register in a hopeless
attempt to appear like he was actually working. He looked over to the costumer
who hadn�t seemed to notice his presence behind the counter yet, smiling
brightly and opening his mouth to chirp �Hello, welcome to Mrs. Weldon�s Book
Nook, (AN: *Laughs loudly and obnoxiously at the store�s name* ) is there
anything I can help you find today?� but upon seeing who was actually in
the store, dove down and crouched on the ground, praying that the man hadn�tticeticed him.

Holy shit. He knew he�d be
in a whole load of trouble when he arrived at Hogwarts at the end of the summer,
but at least he could leave out some details about how he had evaded the
officials undoubtedly searching for him� but if Severus Snape found him now,
well, he�d have a whole lot more explaining to do. And Harry wasn�t quite sure
that Severus would keep quite about the whole being dressed like a girl thing.
No, Harry was sure he wouldn�t.

And so Harry cowered behind the
counter as his potions professor selected whatever it was that he had come into
the muggle bookstore for, and held his breath as said professor waited by the
counter for a minute, before scowling and ringing the bell beside the register
quite a few times. This, unfortunately, got the attention of Mrs. Weldon, who
could hear the bell from the next room.

Mrs. Weldon came into the shop, looked
around quizzically, smiled happily upon seeing Severus, and made her way over
to the counter. �I�m terribly sorry. Lily was supposed to be watching the
store. I wonder where she went off to� She�s never disappeared before�� She
trailed off upon walking behind the counter, �Lily! What are you doing down
there on the floor?!�

Harry scrabbled desperately for a
book that he had just spotted, �I, ah� Dropped a book� and was picking it up��
Harry nervously held the book out as proof.

Mrs. Weldon seemed quite taken
aback, �Then, why didn�t you� Oh never mind,� she sighed exasperated, seeing
that Harry was still sitting of the floor, �Why don�t you just get up off of
the floor and ring this gentleman up?�

�Um� Can�t you do it?� Harry feebly
pleaded.

Mrs. Weldon stared at him sternly,
pursing her lips, �You�ve only been working for an hour.�

Harry watched helplessly as she
swiftly spun around on her heels and made her way into towards the back room.
Seeing nothing else for him to do, he slowly stood up.

And there was earth-shattering
silencep>
p>

Harry kept his gaze glued to the
floor and bit his lip, knowing that Severus would recognize him in a heartbeat,
and waited as Severus got over his shock of seeing Harry Potter, Boy Wonder,
dressed in makeup, a modestly short skirt, a sleeveless turtle-neck sweater,
knee-length stockings, and heels.

And there was more silence. Mrs.
Weldon had stopped her trip to the back room, and was watching him curiously.

Severus dropped the dictionary that
he was holding, �Potter?!�

Harry wordlessly tapped the nametag
pinned to his shirt, which proudly said �LILY� in somewhat frilly lettering.

�Well then, Miss Evens, is
it now? Care to explain what in Merlin�s name you think you are doing, on the
way back to your relatives� house?� Severus asked harshly.

Harry�s head snapped up, �No!� he
and Mrs. Weldon both exclaimed in unison.

Severus turned slightly to glower
menacingly at Mrs. Weldon, who was hurrying over to the counter beside Harry,
hastily trying to explain why Harry was there, �It�s quite alright, Lily�s aunt
sent her over here to work over the summer. I don�t believe I know who you
are�� She invited, wringing her hands below the counter.

�I�m� Miss Evans� professor.
I had gotten word that she had disappeared from home.�

Severus hadn�t taken his eyes off
of Harry, and Harry was sure that he was attempting to make him burst into
flames from sheer will. Mrsldonldon
sniffed, �No, of course not. She was sent here for the summer by his aunt.�

Severus shifter his gaze to her,
�Mmhmm, and what might her name be?�

�Oh, ah� Patricia.�

In all honesty, Severus didn�t have
a clue what Harry�s aunts name actually was, but was certain that she hadn�t a
clue either. �Right then. Miss Evans, go get your things.� He roughly took hold
of Harry�s ear and dragged him through the �employees only� door that Mrs.
Weldon was solemnly pointing to, as she gave Harry a deeply apologetic look.

Harry tried to smile reassuringly
at her, but had a strong suspicion that he had failed somewhat miserably.

The ride on the Night�s Bus had
been absolute hell for Harry. He had only seen Severus this angry one before,
and that was something that he didn�t really like to recall. He had the feeling
that he was going to suffer through a horrible mauling or two before the day
was out.

Harry was extremely relieved when
they had stopped at Hogwarts instead of his uncle�s house, but the relief
quickly turned into nausea. He had known that he would have to face Dumbledor
eventually, but he had been planning on wearing male clothing when that time
came.

When they reached the headmaster�s
office, Harry hovered uneasily outside while Severus burst into the room
looking very much like he was very tempted to brutally murder someone. Probably
Harry.

�Ah, Severus. Did you get my
dictionary?�

If possible, Severus� mood seemed
to darken further, �No, Albus. I did not get your muggle dictionary. While I
was out doing your meaningless errand, I ran into a certain Miss Lily Evans,
and rushed her back here as quickly as possible.�

At Dumbledor�s highly confused
expression, Severus stormed over to the door, and yanked Harry into the room.

And Harry was really starting to
get tired of all these shocked silent periods.

Dumbledor took even longer to
recover then Severus had. After several tense minutes, he removed his
spectacles and pinched the bridge of his noise with a slight pained expression.
�Ah, Mr. Potter� I am very relieved to see you found, and in a moment I shall
be quite stern with you, but in the meantime, have a lemon drop.�

Harry sat himself down in one of
the plush chairs in front of the headmaster�s desk, and plucked a lemon drop
out of the dish Dumbledor had in his hand. Severus stood next to Harry�s chair
stiffly and continued to scowl.

Dumbledor seemed to compose himself and cleared his throat, �Well,
Harry, I will choose to ignore your state of dress for the time being, and
concentrate on why you decided to vanish for the past several weeks.�

Harry had never seen the headmaster
this irate before. He shifted awkwardly in his seat, �Uhm��

Not receiving an answer, Dumbledor
sighed and shook his head, �Alright, we will discuss this further when you
return for the school year. You will stay here for the rest of the day, and
leave tomorrow for your home.�

Harry abruptly stood, �Professor�!�

Dumbledor cut him off by wearily
raising a hand, �There is no room for discussion, Harry. Severus, please get
Harry situated in a room next to yours.�

Severus didn�t seem very keen on
that idea, but chose not to protest and grabbed Harry angrily by his upper arm,
dragging him out of the office. Harry followed him in a state of sock, and it
seemed to Severus that the boy was trying to hold back tears. He snorted.

They stopped in front of a portrait
in the dungeons, Severus barked out the password and practically flung Harry
into the room that was revealed, snapped, �Get dressed in something
respectable,� and pulled the portrait down with a bang, causing the young woman
in the painting to yelp.

Harry numbly went to the closet,
and found that there were clothes in it, for whatever reason, and
selected some that would fit reasonably.

The clothes hung loosely on him,
the pants nearly falling off of his hips, and tied his hair back with the band
that he had left on his wrist earlier that day. He couldn�t find any shoes that
wouldn�t fall off of his feet, so he opted to go barefoot. Having accomplished
this, he wandered into the bathroom to attempt to cut his hair back to its
normal length.

TO BE CONTINUED! Dun dun DUN!
- 1
- 2
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The Mash Fics: Volume Harry