Frozen Love | By : Emeline Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 9129 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
A/N: this is my first m-preg story. I’m not really
into m-preg, but I couldn’t get this story off my mind. Plus, I just don’t have
the heart to put Harry with anyone other than Draco. Yes, I know that I’m not
done with A Sister’s Love yet, but I really wanted to post this. Hope someone
likes it. But if no one does, I’ll probably end up not continuing this. I’ll
just have to see if there’s any response.
“The child is yours,” a breathy voice whispered.
Silence.
“But…” There was another silence as he frantically searched for a response. “Are you sure?”
“I’m positive.” He reached out but was denied a touch.
“It can’t be.” Distress strained at his voice. “I don’t love you. You don’t love me. We can’t…”
“So you’re rejecting me.”
The dejection that he heard was unbearable. He wanted to hold the other man in his arms, tell him that he did love him… But would he be lying? “It was just one night,” he choked out.
“Yes, one night that obviously meant more to me than it did to you.”
He closed his eyes, feeling the bitterness of the reply sting at his heart. He then opened his eyes and gazed at the one he was about to break. “I can’t love you, and I can’t love this child.”
The other man grabbed him and stared into his eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
The man released him and turned away. “No, you aren’t. You’re not sorry now, but one day you will be. One day, you will see your child all grown up, and that child won’t know who you are. Then you’ll be sorry.”
He wanted to take it back. But he couldn’t go back now, so he walked past the one who loved him and left his life forever.
But forever, it turned out, wouldn’t last too long.
---
“Dad, you’re doing it all wrong,” twelve-year-old Alyssa Potter said, rolling her emerald green eyes.
“I set it up last time, Alyssa,” Harry said as he struggled with seven different sets of wires. “I’ll get it eventually.”
“I seem to recall Hermione telling me that she had to set it up for you,” Alyssa reminded him, smugly crossing her arms. “I could go get her. I’m sure she’d love to help you.” She smirked.
Harry gave her a look. “I’m doing perfectly fine.”
“I think we still have the instructions,” she said and fished through a box. “Aha!” She triumphantly pulled out a booklet concerning the set up of their entertainment system and held it out to her father.
Harry eyed it, then turned back to the task at hand. “Men don’t read instructions.”
“Men also do not put things together correctly,” Alyssa said. “Remember the swing set you got me when I was five?” Her grin widened as he didn’t answer. She was about to continue when an extremely frightened kitten ran into the room and jumped into her arms. “Oh,Throgmorten, what’s the matter, baby?” She petted the young cat, trying to comfort it.
“That cat is far too skittish,” Sirius said as he entered the room.
“You’ve been scaring him again, haven’t you?” Alyssa accused him. “Poor Throgmorten.”
Sirius shoos hes head. “I can’t believe Crookshanks fathered that cat. He’s a weakling.”
Alyssa put her hands over Throgmorten’s ears. “Don’t say that in front of him. He’s just shy.”
Sirius looked over at Harry. “Still trying to set that up?”
“He has no idea what he’s doing,” Alyssa informed him. She put Throgmorten down on the couch.
“I can’t understand why you brought all this muggle stuff with you,” Sirius said.
“Are you kidding?” Harry snorted as he got up. “Alyssa would rather cut off her right arm than give up this stuff.”
“You’re finally giving up?” Alyssa said.
“I’ll deal with that thing later,” Harry said.
Alyssa went over and inspected what he had been working on. “You’re been making a fuss about this?” she asked incredulously. “This is easy.” She started to sort out the wiring.
Remus came in and surveyed the situation. “There’s something wrong with this picture.”
“Trust me,” Alyssa said. “It is much better this way.”
Remus just shrugged. “Well, everything else is in place upstairs. Hermione’s just fussing over Alyssa’s room. She kicked us out because we weren’t remembering the flow of energy. She’ll probably kick Ron out next.”
Right on cue, the redheaded man came down the stairs and appeared in the doorway. “What in Merlin’s name does the flow of energy have to do with moving furniture?”
“You got us, Ron,” Sirius said.
“Well, I’d better see how she’s doing,” Harry said and motioned for them to follow him to the kitchen. He closed the door and cast a silencing spell on the room.
“Okay, what’s going on? What did you want to tell us?” Sirius questioned.
Harry sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I heard from him.”
“You heard from Malfoy?” Ron gasped.
“Yes,” Harry said wearily. “He brought this house for Alyssa and me. Apparently he didn’t think our home was worthy enough for her.”
“No,” Harry said, shaking his head. “She still thinks that she had a mother. I might tell her the truth one day, but not now. She’s too young.”
The others nodded in agreement.
“Do you want us to be there, Harry?” Hermione asked.
“No, I’ll be fine.” He mustered a weak smile. “Well, I’ve kept you here long enough. Thank you so much for helping us move.” He looked to Ron and said, “I’m sure that Sora and Kaitlin have completely worn out your mother by now.”
“Mum survived six boys,” Ron said. “Two nine-year-old girls are nothing, believe me.”
“Take care, Harry,” Hermione said and hugged him.
“I’ll try.” Harry saw the four of them off, then silently went back into the living room. Alyssa was sitting onthe couch with Throgmorten in her lap. She had evidently gotten the entertainment system set up. Harry watched her for a while before she noticed
him.
“It all works,” she said proudly. “Come and sit down. Charmed is on.” Alyssa knew that her father had no interest in the show, but he always tolerated it for her.
Harry sat down next to her, kissed her on the head, and ruffled her hair.
“Hey!” She carefully put her hair back in place.
Draco never gave me much, Harry thought, but at least he gave me her.
---
Alyssa looked up at her father with a confused expression on her face. “You know Draco Malfoy?”
“Yes,” Harry said, pacing. “He went to school with me.”
“But why would he be coming here?” Alyssa pressed. “Was he a friend of yours while you were at school?”
“Sort of.”
“Why are so nervous? And why are you lying to me?” Alyssa demanded.
“I’m not lying to you about anything,” Harry told her. “Plus, I’m not nervous.”
“Yes, you are. You only pace when you’re nervous, and ‘sort of’ always means no. You aren’t telling me the whole truth. I repeat: why is he coming here?”
“Alyssa, this is far more complicated than you could imagine,” Harry said, facing her.
“Do I get to meet him?”
“We’ll see.”
“That means no, doesn’t it?” Alyssa crossly said.
“No, that means you might get to meet him if you stop annoying your father.”
“Oh,” she said and promptly shut her mouth.
Alyssa had been completely correct when she had stated that he was nervous. Harry was incredibly nervous. He was going to see Draco for the first time in twelve years. How was Draco going to act? Was he just going to insist that Harry hand Alyssa over? Or did he still not want to be a part of her life? Perhaps he just wanted to see Harry… Harry swiftly silenced that thought. Draco had broken his heart and abandoned their daughter. He would never go back to him.
But still… There had always been a part of him that ached for Draco. Stupidly, Harry had fallen in love with Draco during their sixth year. He had done everything to get the Slytherin’s attention, but Draco had ignored all of Harry’s efforts. They had graduated and Harry had left Hogwarts with a broken heart.
But three years later, the two had met up again. Draco had not been the same person that Harry had known. Lucius had left Draco behind after he had refused to be slave to Voldemort. Draco had been deeply affected by this, and for some reason, he turned to Harry for comfort. They had connected… in more ways than one.
The only part of Draco that Harry had now was Alyssa. It had hurt when Draco had denied her, but at least he hadn’t taken her away. It was one of the few kind things that Draco had ever done for Harry.
Alyssa could see the deep sadness in her father’s eyes. She wanted to ask why he was so sad, but she didn’t wish to interrupt his thoughts. She bit her lip instead and drew her knees up to her chest, trying not to look at the grief in her father’s eyes. She knew that Draco Malfoy was the cause of his sadness. What did he do to him? Her father had never once mentioned Draco Malfoy, so why did he affect him so much?
The doorbell rang and Alyssa jumped up, determined to get to the door before her father did. “I’ll get it!” she shouted as she raced to the door. To her surprise, Harry wasn’t even behind her. She shrugged it off, then suddenly slipped and ungracefully collided with the door.
Harry heard the noise and went to the front door. “Alyssa,” Harry sighed and shook his head.
“It didn’t hurt,” she said as she opened the door. Ow, ow, ouch! A tall blond man with gray eyes stood on their doorstep. Alyssa recognized him immediately. “Mr. Malfoy,” Alyssa said eagerly. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Alyssa Potter. Please, come in.”
Mr. Malfoy? Draco looked to Harry, who looked away. She doesn’t know, he realized. His heart sank. Harry hadn’t even had the decency to tell her who her father was. “You have a very polite daughter,” Draco said to Harry. “You should be proud, Harry.”
“I am,” Harry said. “Alyssa, we need to speak in private. Would you mind going upstairs?”
She didn’t show her disappointment as she answered, “not at all, dad.” She retreated up to her room.
Harry led Draco into the living room.
“She’s beautiful,” Draco murmured. “And you’ve obviously raised her well.”
“I did the best I could,” Harry responded, his tone a bit harsh. “Now, I am not going to play your games, Draco. What do you want?”
“I wanted to see how you were doing in the new house,” Draco said smoothly.
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Harry said. “If you came here thinking that you could take her away from me, you are in for a big surprise.”
“I’m not here to take her away,” Draco responded. “I just needed to see her. I… I want to know about her. I want to find out who she is.”
“You’ve had twelve years to do that, Draco,” Harry snapped. “You’re the one who decided that you were not going to be a part of her life. Don’t you remember your own words? You told me that you couldn’t love our child. Have you suddenly changed your mind?” Another possibility came to mind and Harry lowered his voice. “Or perhaps this has
nothing to do with love. Perhaps providing an heir will get you back into your family.”
“I would never use Alyssa like that!”
“Why do I not believe you?”
“I made a mistake, Harry,” Draco said anxiously. “I thought that I would ruin both of you by being with you. My father nearly destroyed me. I was afraid that I’d turn out just like him.”
“You have, Draco,” said Harry. “You’re just like him because you ran from your problems. You have never been there for Alyssa. You don’t know anything about her. You’ve never held her in your arms. You’ve never comforted her after a nightmare. You’ve never stayed up all night with her while she was sick. You can’t just suddenly show up and expect that you can just pick up where we ended.”
“I know that I can’t just waltz back into her life and tell her that I’m her father,” Draco said. “But I’d like to talk to her, if only just once. I made the biggest mistake of my life when I walked out of your life. Harry…” He reached out to touch Harry, but Harry moved away.
“Don’t touch me Draco,” he said resentfully. “I loved you once. I desperately wanted you to love me back. You rejected me.” The pain that had haunted him for so long was gaining in strength. He had to pause and take a deep breath before he could go on. “Upstairs, there is a wonderful little girl whose life you will never be a part of. You chose this, Draco.” Harry looked into those beautiful silver eyes and saw great pain. He wished that it didn’t have to be like this. But this was how it had to be.
Draco had really blown it this time. He was never going to be a part of his daughter’s life. He would never be close to Harry again. And it was all his fault. He hated himself, and he hated the decision that he had made twelve years ago. But Draco didn’t regret coming to Harry. He had seen his daughter, and he now had closure. He had never felt so wounded, but at least he had closure.
“All this time, did you hate me?” Harry quietly asked.
“I never hated you, Harry,” Draco said. “I was just too weak to be own person. I let my father mold me. I am truly sorry that I hurt you so much, Harry. And you were right. Alyssa is growing up, and she will never know who I really am. I am sorry.”
Harry didn’t speak.
“Harry… Could you kiss me… just one last time?”
“We can’t go back to that,” Harry said, but there was no conviction in his voice. He wanted to kiss Draco again. But once the kiss ended, nothing would change. They would still have to say goodbye. He would still have to watch Draco walk out of his life again.
“I love you, Harry.” It took all of his will to not break down right then and there. He turned and started to walk away. Before he could reach the door, Harry grabbed him and pulled him into his arms. He pressed his lips against Draco’s and sucked gently on his bottom Draco immediately parted his lips to grant Harry access. Eagerly, Harry dove in. Draco’s mind went numb as he was overwhelmed by wonderful sensations. Draco never wanted to let go of Harry. He never wanted to leave his side again. He…
Harry broke off. “There’s your last kiss, Draco. Now you have to leave.”
Tears began to rise up in Draco’s eyes. He went over to the door before Harry could see them. “Goodbye, Harry,” he said.
Harry’s arms slipped around him. “Goodbye, Draco,” he whispered into Draco’s ear.
The feel of Harry’s breath on his neck caused Draco to shiver. Draco did not move, and neither did Harry.
“I don’t want to let you go again,” Harry said.
“But you have to.” Draco gathered all the strength he had and slipped out of Harry’s arms.is iis is how it has to be.”
Suddenly, a scream sounded upstairs.
“Alyssa!” Harry took off up the stairs, Draco hot on his heels. Harry threw open Alyssa’s door just in time to see a man disappear with Alyssa in his clutches. “NO!” Harry reached out for her, but she was gone. “NO! ALYSSA!”
You may not be abe as strong as me
And I may not care to teach you
It may be hard to keep up with me
But I'll always be able to reach you
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