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As Badly As I Need Breath	By : lilacshade Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 3884 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-As Badly As I Need Breath
- 1
Rating: NC-17. If gay men getting their groove on squicks you, move on, this is not the fic for you!

Challenge: Written for the Dawn to Dusk Harry/Sev Fuh Q fest #88. Severus finds Harry crying. Why is Harry crying, and what does Sev do?

Notes: The title was inspired :) My friend Rose asked her bf how badly he wanted her and he said "As badly as I need breath" I thought that was horribly romantic and wanted to share it with you! So anyways, thanks to Rose and Bjorn for the inspiration :) hehe

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, only the smutty things I make them do. No profits are made through this fic. Please don't sue me, I am but a poor college student with a child to support. I write to make the plot bunnies stop!

Beta: Jean Tarin, many thanks :)

Feedback: Yes please! I am a feedback whore.

As Badly as I Need Breath

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Severus stopped dead in his tracks as he heard racking sobs coming from an empty classroom. He was making his usual nightly rounds about the castle, practically daring a student to be out of bed. He simply detested being dragged into any kind of teenage melodrama. The soap operas that occurred within this school were simply nauseating. However, in light of the recent events that had taken place in both the Wizarding and Muggle worlds, Snape walked towards the classroom.

As he quickened his pace, Severus thought of the many students who had been sent to counseling the previous year. A long and hard battle with Voldemort had left many of the students with little or no family. Because of those who fought so bravely, Voldemort had finally been destroyed for good. The house rivalries had diminished and students from all houses had come together after the tragedies.

Severus couldn't help but wonder what event could have left a student out of bed, in the middle of the night, crying, in only the second month of school. The Potions master took in a deep breath and opened the classroom door. Not even his years as a spy amongst Death Eaters could have prepared the man for what he saw: Harry Potter, The-Boy -Who-Kept-Living ; the one who, during all of the battles and personal losses, had never shed a tear. The young wizard had seen some of his best friends die at the hands of the Death Eaters: First Cedric, then Ron, Hagrid, Dean, Cho Chang, and Ginny Weasley. But, he never let his emotions show. What now could have caused such pain?

Severus stood at the door of the classroom taking in the scene. Harry lay crumpled on the floor, clad only in pajama bottoms, in a fetal position clutching his knees. Tears seemed to stream all around him as he sobbed relentlessly. Harry was sixteen now, but in this position he looked like a small child. He didn't hear the professor enter the room. Snape quickly went to Harry's side and pulled him into his arms. Holding him, and whispering to him. Trying to reassure him that it would be all right. Snape had grown a soft spot for the boy after all these years.

The crying stopped abruptly and Harry jumped up, shocked.

"I'm so sorry sir, I didn't mean to be out of bed, please don't.........", Harry stammered.

"Potter calm down" Severus smirked. "Now what on earth has caused the fall of the mighty Gryffindor?"

Harry held out a crumpled envelope that had been clenched in his fist. Severus unfolded the letter and read:

Harry Potter,

This letter is to inform you that you are no longer welcome to come back to Privet Drive. Your Aunt Petunia found the letters. We always knew there was something even more strange about you, boy, but this is the last straw. We will not have this abnormalness under our roof! After we took you in and even allowed you to attend that............that school, this is how you repay us? By turning into a bloody POOF?!?!?! Disgusting. I repeat, you are to never return to our home again. You keep your freakish ideas to yourself and stay away from us.

-Vernon Dursley

"Oh Harry," said Severus with concern in his voice. "It's not all that bad then, you hated living with those Muggles didn't you? Have you shown this to Professor Dumbledore?"

"NO! Of course not! I'd be expelled wouldn't I? For being the way I am. I've already lost the only family I ever had, lousy as they were. I have no home and no one to go home to. And once Sirius is back, he won't want me for his godson anymore. I've lost everyone I have left now," Harry sobbed.

Severus felt his heart ache for the poor boy. He often forgot how tied to the Muggle world Harry was sometimes. He also forgot almost as frequently the strange hang ups that Muggles have about their sexuality. "Mr. Potter", he said calmly, "You remember how Muggles and wizards are different in many ways?"

Harry nodded.

"Good, then listen. In the Wizarding world, sexuality is an open subject and none are discriminated against for wanting to be in a homosexual relationship. There are many great wizards who prefer the company of their own sex. Many even here are Hogwarts. And furthermore, you will never be without a home or someone to come home to as long as Hogwarts is standing. Is that clear?

"You mean ....that I...that you??? Are you gay Professor Snape?" Harry stuttered, still in shock.

"Yes Harry. And did you never notice the relationship going on between your own Godfather and Professor Lupin? Always hanging around the DADA classroom with dreamy eyes? And what about the Weasley twins? And Dean and Seamus, surely you knew, you shared a dorm with them for years! And then there is Draco and Blaise, you couldn't find two more obvious with each other."

"I guess I never thought about it" Harry said with more composure. "Oh Merlin, I never even .....how could I have missed it all? I suppose my mind was always on the Order, and our missions. I never even noticed what was happening right in front of me.

Harry returned to Severus' arms and laid his head on the firm chest. "Thank you sir," he said softly.

Severus wrapped his arms around the young man and ran his fingers through the wild hair. "It's all right Harry, you know I will always be here for you. As will Albus, Sirius, and Remus. You will never be left alone"

"I love you Sev," Harry whispered.

"Harry, I don't think you realize what you are saying. It is late and you have suffered greatly these past few years. Your system is just in shock," Severus said, terrified.

"NO! Don' t do this to me! You said it was all right, please don't make it wrong. I do love you Severus. I have for the past two years. After working together in the Order, against Voldemort, I got to really know you - the man behind the nasty Potions master. You're witty and intelligent, strong as well as brave. You care Severus. I love you. I love you more than anything! I need you as badly as I need breath. I'm not a child, I never really was. I know what I want, and I want you. That is, if you want me as well."

"Harry, of course I want you. I was never happier than when I was on a mission with you. You have grown into quite a wizard. But are you sure?" Severus whispered.

"Yes!" Harry exclaimed as he pulled his professor into a deep kiss.

For what seemed like hours, lips pressed and tongues danced. Harry thought he would die from the new sensations. Severus tasted like mint: it was delicious.

Severus was still holding Harry in his lap. He grabbed Harry by the hips and pulled him closer to his body, causing their erections to rub against each other.

Harry let out a groan.

"Harry, not here" Severus gasped. He picked up the young man, trying to steady him on his feet. He led Harry down into the dungeons, past the Potions classroom, to a door that Harry had never seen before: Severus' private chambers.

Harry shivered in anticipation. The room was exactly what he had imagined it would be. Lit by a roaring fire, there was a sofa and two large chairs in the middle of the room. All in Slytherin green. Harry chuckled softly at this. The walls were lined with bookshelves bursting with the most amazing collection of resources Harry had ever seen. There were also cabinets filled with Potions ingredients and tools. It was amazing.

Severus led Harry past the sitting room and into his bedroom.was was similarly lit with the warm glow of the fireplace. An enormous four poster bed sat in the middle of the room, draped in silk green sheets. Harry couldn't believe what was happening, all of his fantasies were coming true. Harry wrapped his hands into Severus' silky black hair //hmmmm, it's not greasy at all// and kissed him shyly.

Severus nibbled at Harry's bottom lip, causing Harry to moan. Severus grinned to himself as he realized that Harry smelled and tasted like Quidditch.

Severus lifted Harry into his arms without warning and carried him over to the bed. He laid the young man down on the bed and took in the scene. Harry was lying on his bed, panting with desire, and clad only in thin cotton pajama pants; erection prominent. Severus groaned and moved in between Harry's legs while engaging him in a deep, passionate kiss. He ran his hands over the hard chest, silently thanking the gods for all of those Quidditch training sessions. Severus began planting kisses on Harry's neck, traveling down. When he reached Harry's nipples, he paused, taking one into his mouth. He sucked and nipped at it, then moved on to the next one. He repeated the actions until Harry was staring wide-eyed at him, panting and caressing him anywhere he could reach.

"Is this all right?" Severus said in that low, sexy voice as he reached the line of Harry 's pajama pants.

"Gods yes Sev, anything, everything, please," Harry panted.

Severus' eyes twinkled as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of Harry's pajama pants and pulled them down, over his rock hard erection, until Harry was free of what little clothing he had been wearing. "No underwear, Mr. Potter?" he smirked.

Harry blushed and stammered, "Uhm, no, I don't like to wear them when I sleep, too restricting."

Severus chuckled at the blushing man; he was so beautiful when he turned that deep crimson. Harry sat up and began working at the buttons on Severus' robes. It took him a great deal longer with so many rows of buttons. Finally, the robes slipped off of the toned shoulders. Severus was more beautiful than Harry could have ever imagined. He had pale, soft skin, but his body was firm and well built. Harry gasped. "No underwear Professor Snape?"

"No Harry, I never wear any. As you put it, I find them too restricting as well." Severus replied coolly.

Severus knelt between Harry's legs once more and Harry thrust his hips up as hot air hit them. Severus licked at the head of his throbbing cock and then suddenly took the whole length into his mouth. Harry let out a cry and clenched the sheets in his hands. Severus knew that Harry wouldn't last long, being a sixteen-year-old virgin. He moved his mouth up and down in a steady motion, then cupped Harry's balls with one hand, while pinching a nipple with the other. He looked up at the beautiful site, Harry's eyes were closed and his mouth was open and panting. He was clutching the sheets and quickly bucked up, his whole body tensed as he spurt his hot white liquid into Severus' mouth.

"Oh wow Sev, you're amazing." Harry panted.

"That was just a warm up, it gets better. And remember, we can stop if you get uncomfortable," Severus replied.

Harry moaned with desire as Severus leaned over and reached into his bedside table, pulling out a small jar of lubricant. He leaned down and kissed the full lips and then spread Harry's legs further, bending them at the knees, giving him full access. He coated one of his fingers with the lubricant and ran it over Harry's cleft and down, teasing the little puckered hole.

Harry groaned, "Please Sev, yes, more," as Severus continued to tease his finger around the tight hole. "Oh please, now, please" Harry cried.

Severus complied and let his digit enter the hole gently. Harry clenched and Severus kissed him deeply. "It's all right Harry, just relax, you're beautiful. It feels a little strange, but it will feel wonderful in a moment. As Harry tried his best to relax and get used to the intrusion, Severus began pumping his finger in and out.

Harry cried out.

"What's wrong? Do you want me to stop??" Severus asked quickly.

"Gods no! Sev, don't stop please, more!!" Harry cried, bucking his hips against the finger. Severus coated another finger and slipped it into the hole, Harry was rock hard again. Snape moved his fingers in and out slowly, scissoring them and coaxing the tight ring of muscle to relax. He let both of his fingers rub gently over Harry's prostate.

Harry shouted," OhMyGodSatWaatWasThatPleaseDon'tStopDoItAgainYes!"

Severus chuckled, "That Mr. Potter was the wonders of the prostate." Severus pulled his fingers out, adding more lube before inserting a third finger. He resumed pumping his fingers in and out of Harry, brushing his prostate at every thrust; causing him to drip with sweat and squirm in ecstasy.

"Please Sev, I want you in me." Harry panted.

Severus nodded and removed the fingers, causing Harry to let out a disappointed moan. He slicked his cock and nudged Harry's entrance. Harry gasped. "Oh yes now, please, I need you so badly." Severus slid in slowly, an inch at a time, to let Harry get used te fee feeling of his cock. Harry squirmed a little at the slight burning, but it wasn't as bad as he had imagined

Finally Severus was buried deep inside the tight heat. He leaned down and brushed his lips over Harry's. Harry wrapped his legs around Severus' waist and kissed him deeply. "You 're so beautiful Harry," Severus crooned. He began pumping in and out of Harry slowly, gradually building speed. He then took Harry's throbbing cock into his slick hand and pumped it in time to his own thrusts. He used his other hand to reach down and play with Harry's nipples.

Harry moaned and writhed beneath the man, feeling the impending explosion upon him. Harry cried out "Severus!!!" as his cum spurted all over Severus' hand.

The tight arse clenching around him coupled with Harry crying his name in ecstasy pushed Severus over the edge and he pumped once more, then shuddered as he released himself into the hot arse. Harry gasped and pulled Severus into a sweet embrace, running his fingers through his hair.

Severus rolled off of Harry, muttered a cleansing charm, and then pulled the boy to his chest, holding him close.

"I love you Sev, promise you'll never leave me." Harry said quietly.

"I promise Harry. But you'll need to leave me soon. Back to the dorm before your mates wake up." Severus replied.

"No Sev, please" Harry cried into the man's chest. "I love you, I don't want to be alone, please. You said I would always have someone, don't make me go. I don't want to be without you. I don't feel alive when I'm without you."

"Harry, there are a lot of problems that may occur if you choose to pursue this relationship." Severus sighed.

"But Sev, I thought you said that wizards were all right with homosexuals?!" Harry questioned.

"You are correct. However, I am your teacher. I am also twice your age. You don't want to be stuck with an old man for you life do you? And a former Death Eater; people won't look so kindly on that. You have your whole life ahead of you. I don't want to ruin that. There is also the matter of your Godfather. Black will not approve."

"Sev, I don 't care about any of that. I fell in love with you. No matter what other people think, I know what kind of a man you are. I meant what I said before; I need you as badly as I need breath. I love you." Harry whispered.

"Oh Harry," Severus sighed "I love you too. You may stay tonight. I will speak with Albus about this in the morning. I don't know if this will be permitted. You understand that we may not be allowed to stay together?"

"Yeah, I thought of that. But please, hold me now. We'll worry about the rest after you speak with Professor Dumbledore, okay?"

With that, Severus wrapped his arms more tightly around Harry, and they both fell into a deep sleep.

FIN
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As Badly As I Need Breath