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Mystery Hogwarts Theater	By : Selena Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 6475 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Mystery Hogwarts Theater 1996
I don�t own this fic, the people in the fic or the people MSTing the fic.
Warnings: M/M relationships lie within. Horrible smut fics as well.

SS/HP, DM/RW, SF/DT
Summery: In some twist of fate Snape, Harry, Ron, Draco, Seamus, and Dean end up kidnapped by a deranged Voldemort, who decides to make them read horrible fanfics for ruining his plans.
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Chapter One

Welcome to the nut house

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Ron rubbed the bridge of his nose and glared across the room at the blond boy, who was glaring right back at him. Snape glanced between the two of them and rolled his eyes. Harry was staring at the ceiling in blatant exasperation, while Seamus and Dean played a game of cards.
They�d been locked in this room for a few hours and it was starting to get to all of them. Now it was just a matter of who snapped and killed who first.
Harry was willing to bet it was Ron who snapped and Draco who died, as everyone else looked pretty calm so far. Ron didn�t do well with enclosed spaces, he had too much energy to be cooped up for long.
Before Harry could get much further with his thoughts a light in the room started flashing yellow, seemingly breaking the spell of silence on everyone in the room.
�The hell-� Seamus started then trailed off when section of the wall slid back to reveal a screen. There was snow for a moment then an image came up that chilled three of the occupants of the room. Draco and Snape went rigid and Harry�s eyes widened.
�Voldemort.� Harry breathed.
�What?� Ron looked at the guy on the screen, a guy in his�sixties maybe, with a few wisps of gray hair and leathery skin. Other than glowing red eyes he didn�t look like much to fear. �That�s the Dark Lord? Not very impressive is he?�
Harry blinked then tilted his head off to the side. �Well now that you mention it��
�Do not mock me!� Voldemort looked outraged, though the slight vacant gleam in his eyes made it far from frightening. �You will all suffer for interfering in my plans! I shall torture you all horribly, drive you insane, and make you beg for mercy!�
�How�d he even manage to catch us?� Ron said, ignoring the ranting Lord. �I mean, he looks like one good pain spell could kill him.�
Voldemort�s nearly non-existent lips pressed into a thin line. �Wormtail get in here!�
The man who Harry hated even more then Voldemort walked in, looking a little�wary of being present. �Yes?�
�So you have the story?�
�Yes.�
�Wonderful! Let the pain begin!�
�What pain?� Ron asked, squinting slightly.
�I shall send you horrible fanfics about yourselves and make you suffer.� Voldemort said smugly. �And then you�ll pay for ever defying me.�
�Umm, Mr. Dark Lord, I don�t think I�ve ever defied you.� Seamus pointed out. �So�can I go?�
�Err�no! There is no escape.� Voldemort nodded as if trying to convince himself of that. �So�yes, you�re stuck there forever. So there.� A snake-like tongue stuck out.
Seamus looked at Dean who shrugged in confusion.
�And if you don�t watch the story I�ll kill you!� Voldemort added. Pettigrew stood next to him, nodding enthusiastically. �The theater is to the right by the way. Enjoy the complementary snacks.� The screen clicked off.
�You have to be kidding me.� Harry grumbled, shaking his head.
A red light started flashing and everyone blinked. The screen came on again.
�Red means you�ve got fanfic. Go, move!� Off again.
With resigned shrugs they all trooped to the double doors that had materialized in one of the walls. They found themselves at what looked like the snack counter. Seamus headed over and started looking through the boxes of sugar, artificial flavor, salt, and chocolate goodness. Once his arms were full he started toward another set of doors, to what he assumed was the theater.
Dean sighed and headed over as well.
�Didn�t Seamus get enough for the both of you?� Harry questioned.
�Are you kidding? That�s all for him.� Dean smiled affectionately then shook his head. He grabbed a few things then followed his best friend. The other three teens followed suit, but Snape apparently wasn�t interested in any of the goodies.
[Sounds of shuffling as the six sit down in seats in front of the screen. Words start scrolling up.]
***Harry and his first 3 way (sort of)

By Twinsen Dude
Ron: *Blinks* *Looks at Harry* Suddenly I�m not hungry.

Draco: Been busy have you Potter?

Harry: �*shudders*

***One fine day,
Seamus: But which fine day? One fine day is hardly descriptive. I mean, how fine was it really?

Dean: *Blinks* What? �Don�t talk anymore alight?
***Harry Potter was walking down a hallway in Hogwarts, when a hand emerges from

a room Harry never noticed before.
Snape: Never mind that he�d apparently been down this corridor many times before, he could easily miss a whole room.

Harry: Can I just say how disturbing this is?
***The hand pulled him in before he could react,
Draco: Those Seeker reflexes aren�t working today then?

Harry: Forget Seeker reflexes, I�m too paranoid to let anybody pull me into some dark invisible room. Everyone is, quite literally, out to get me.

Seamus: Or in you. Possible on you. Depends on if it�s a boy or girl I suppose.

Harry: Ack. *puts hands over his eyes in attempt to block out mental images*
***and then retreated into the darkness.
Snape: And for some odd reason Potter didn�t run. I should take points for stupidity.

Harry: Probably.
***When the lights flickered on,
Dean: {As Harry�s assailant} God Damnit, why won�t the lights stay on!? Cheap ass light bulbs

Harry: Are there light bulbs in Hogwarts? Aren�t all lights controlled by magic? How would one turn out the lights if they weren�t a teacher?

Draco: Stop over analyzing it Potter, you�ll sprain something in that brain of yours.
***Harry instantly got hard as what he saw was Cho Chang liing naked on a king size bed. She flicked her wand at him
Seamus: She�s a man!

Harry: *Covers eyes again*

Draco: Tsk Tsk, trying to sleep with the dead guy�s girl. That�s just wrong.

Dean: Liing? What�s that?

Ron: Somebody�s last name?
***and shouted,
Draco: That was quick.

Seamus: She was probably flicking her wand before she decided to grab him. Or would that be he?

Dean: You�re a sick bastard Seamus.

Seamus: Yep.
***"Clothesundos!" Instantly his clothes were ripped off by some magical force, and then were shredded into a million pieces.
Snape: So his clothes were shredded after being torn off? Would that qualify as excessive force?

Ron: Wouldn�t having your robe and everything under it ripped off like that hurt? A lot? Not to mention you�ll need to get all new stuff.
*** "Come on Harry, come to bed," soothed Cho.
Seamus: Why exactly does Harry need soothing?

Ron: Because he found out the girl of his dreams is a man. Like you wouldn�t need a little soothing.

Seamus: �Probably not. Sex is sex.

Dean: Not that you would know.
***Harry then leaped onto Cho
Dean: {As Cho} Fuck, Harry, you�re heavy!

Seamus: :{As Harry} Sorry, I�m just really excited. I get hard instantly after all.

Harry: I hate you both.
*** and began licking her breasts. Oh, how perfect the breasts were.
Draco: Right to the point aren�t we Potter? Didn�t even kiss her. Haven�t you ever heard of foreplay?

Harry: *Looks ready to cry*
***Smooth, wet, and squeezeable.
Seamus: �why�re her tits wet?

Dean: Because Harry�s licking them I �pose.

Seamus: But that doesn�t have anything to do with them being perfect does it?

Dean: *Shrugs*
***He licked them vigorously as she gave him a swift and irresistable hand job.
Draco: This is boring. *looks ready to take a nap* We�ve had more interesting lectures in Transfigurations.

Ron: What kind of lectures have you been getting?

Draco: �You�re sick.

Snape: Irresistable�I suppose that means he was able to resist?

(A/N: If you don�t get it, it�s should be Irresistible, Irresistable would imply he was indeed able to resist. Ir and able would cancel each other out.)
***Just as he was going to go for the pussy,
Seamus: {As Cho�s pussy} Meow.

Ron: {As Harry} Aww, how cute. Can I pet it?

Dean: {As Cho} Why else would I bring you in here?

Dean, Seamus, and Ron: *laugh*

Harry: *curls up into a little ball on the floor*
*** Hermione walks in casually
Ron: Odd, I would have expected her to shriek and cover her eyes before lecturing them on unsafe sex and how much trouble they could get in. Silly me.
***and says, "What, you thought this invisible room would keep me from Harry?
Snape: The rooms invisible? So, logically, we should be able to see through the wall and see what�s going in the room, correct?

Dean: {As Cho} No, but I thought for sure the three headed dog and wall of fire would make you turn back.

Seamus: {As Hermione} Ha ha! Foolish girl, I was able to get past all of those because I�m really a pureblood Slytherin in disguise, with magical powers beyond the norm!
***Learn to share!"
Harry: Dear god, no! Make it stop!

Ron: You can�t really share this type of thing�I think that might hurt Harry just a bit.
***She then jumped on the bed next to Cho after ripping off her clothes.
Ron: Her too? Why can�t they just undress like normal people.

Draco: Cause that could be mildly arousing, which would destroy the whole point of this story.

Ron: Point?
***"So Harry, who are you going to pick," she questioned.
Seamus: I thought questions usually ended with a question mark.

Snape: Congratulations Finnigan, you have more intelligence than the writer. A battle of wits you can finally win.
***Harry could not resist Cho's completely perfect breasts,
Draco: Good to see this relationship is built on a solid foundation.

Seamus: Two of them.
***but also he couldn't resist Hermione's experience and knowledge of the sort.
Ron: Ah, yes, Hermione must be a virtual fountain of information on this subject.

Dean: What sort does she have knowledge of?
***"I choose both," he exclaimed. And with that, they went to a 69 type of position,
Ron: You have to be joking? He�s decided both and they�re okay with it?

Seamus: If they weren�t it wouldn�t fit the scheme of the rest of the story.

Dean: Would it be more of a 699 or 669 position? Possibly 696?

Draco: Over analyzing.

***and as Cho and Hermione took turns violently sucking
All except Harry: *Wince*

Harry: *Whimper*
***Harry's 12 and a half inch dick,
Snape: *Raises an eyebrow* Indeed?

Draco: How would he walk around with that thing?

Dean: I wanna know why they�ve busted out a ruler in the middle of sex.
***he licked one's breasts as he corressed the other's. As all this was going on, Ginny sprung into the room.
Ron: *Turns green at the thought* God no. Not my sister. Isn�t it bad enough?

Draco: Apparently not.

Dean: Corressed? IS that anything like caressed?

Seamus: Yeah, only coarsely.
***Harry and the girls halted. " Harry, how could you, after everything I've done for you?
Ron: *Suspicious look at Harry* And what has my sister done for you?

Harry: Nothing! Its all lies! Lies! LIES!
***That's it, I'll have to fight you to prove myself." And with that, she ripped off her outer layer of clothing
Ron: NO!
[Ron runs for the theater door and bangs into the doors, which are obliviously locked, and falls to the ground unconscious.]
Seamus: Lucky bastard.
***to reveal a karate robe. Harry stood up off the bed and pointed his 12 and a half inch dick at her. She
Seamus: �no, it�s Ron�s little sister, I won�t say it. *Shakes head*

Draco: I will. Sucked, licked and�never mind.
***chopped, she kicked, and she punched, but every attack and every blow was blocked by Harry's amazing dick.
Dean: Harry Potter, the boy with the Amazing Dick of Steel! *Superman theme plays briefly* 12 and a � inches of pure fighting power.
***Appauled at her defeat,
Everyone but Ron and Harry: *Claps at Ginny�s defeat*
***she ripped off all her clothes revealing her flat chest and virgin pussy, and then ran out of the room crying.
Draco: You can tell she�s a virgin just by looking?

Seamus: So she ripped off clothes, much like everyone else, then ran outside where everyone can see her? Umm�okay.
***Harry lied back on the bed, and re-commensed the foreplay.
Draco: First of all, what foreplay? And second, re-commensed is not only spelled wrong, but I don�t think it needs a hyphen.
***He then thrust his dick into Cho's pussy, easily hitting the G-spot with length to spare. Cho instantly became much more horny if possible.
Seamus: I�m surprised she was horny to begin with. And I think that it would hurt more then feel good, considering.

Dean: Why couldn�t it just be hornier? Why much more horny?
***He then took it out, and thrusted it into Hermione's pussy with the same effect.
Seamus * Just shakes his head* Is this almost over? It�s not even funny anymore.
***He took turns doing this for quite some time, until the whole bed was covered in cum, and Harry's dick was beginning to hurt.
Draco: Somehow I think this all quite impossible.

Dean: I�m a virgin and I know it�s impossible.

Seamus: Really? *Slight smirk*
***So they walked out of the room into Transfiguration class,
Snape: Since when would Granger and Potter have a class with a Ravenclaw in the year ahead of them?

Seamus: So the invisible room Harry hadn�t noticed but Hermione and Ginny knew all about led directly into the Transfiguration room? And what about their clothes, which are shredded. Are they nude?
***Harry jacking off more violently than anyone had ever seen,
Seamus: Never mind�but I thought his thing hurt?

Dean: *Shrugs* Doesn�t really matter does it?
***Cho humping the air with every step, Hermione bouncing her breasts up and down over and over, and the teacher running out of the room screaming.
Draco: �Wouldn�t be the teacher be McGonagall?

Snape: Yes and as horrifying imagery as this is, I doubt she�d run out screaming.

Dean: �Hey�I think it�s over.

Draco: Yes�Let�s hurry up before he sends us something else.
[Everyone exit�s hastily, Snape picking up a convulsing Harry and Seamus and Dean dragging Ron out.]
They made their way back to the first room, where the screen was on again. Ron was deposited on a couch and Harry ran into a corner and sat facing the wall, rocking back and forth.
�So, was it horrible?� Voldemort asked, smiling which was a very disturbing thing to see for everyone.
�Yes.� Seamus said, flopping onto the floor and picking up the hand of cards he�d abandoned.
�Horrid.� Dean said flopping down next to him.
�Well�why aren�t you screaming and begging for mercy?� Voldemort looked genuinely put out.
�Well I doubt Potter will ever be and same and Weasley did knock himself out, if that�s what you�re hoping for.� Draco said, picking up his discarded book. He�d stopped reading when his glaring contest with Ron had started.
�NO! You should all be in mind-numbing terror and horror. Trembling before my might.�
�It wasn�t all that bad.� Draco said, shrugging a bit. �Kind of funny watching Potter breakdown like that actually.�
The Dark Lord scowled. �Fine! I�ll be back with something even worse.� The screen went off again and everyone who was conscious and sane glared at Draco.
�Thank you Mister Malfoy, now he�ll be looking for something even more mind numbing. Twenty points from Slytherin for blatant stupidity.� Snape said coldly.
And so the day continued.
Next chapter: What will Voldemort pull up to punish Draco? Will Harry recover? Was Snape serious about taking points? Find out next time on Pokemon!
�wait, I meant MST 2005�. *Coughs*
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Mystery Hogwarts Theater