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Never Whole	By : razldazzl72 Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 6957 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Title: Never Whole

Author: ~~Minerva

Rating: R

Pairing: HP/DM

Archived: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/opposites-yet-attracted/ After release date will be posted on Snitchfiction(if it ever gets running again by the time release date is here).

Summary: Part of the Fuh-Q-Fest Challenge #27. After his seventh year, Dumbledore insists that Harry stay at Malfoy Manor, the home of his spy, Lucius. Draco and Harry are not happy with this situation at all. Why? (Starkindler)

A/N: Second FQF type fic Hope you enjoy reading it :) This is my first HP/DM fic so play nicely please!!! Thanks to my Beta Myk!!Who I so thoughtlessly didn't change this to until after she read it POSTED!!! *bursts into tears and drops to her knees* PLEASE FORGIVE ME MYK??
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‘Sir, there has to be someplace else; anywhere but there.‘ Harry pleaded with Albus Dumbledore, looking imploringly at the great wizard. ‘Please, sir, I can stay here; I‘ll work with the house-elves to stay out of the way and earn my keep. You can‘t send me there; I‘ll do anything you ask, but please don‘t ask this of me.‘

Albus Dumbledore looked at the young man over the top of his half-moon spectacles, sighing at the distraught young man before him. ‘I do apologize, my dear boy, but there is nowhere else. They are good people; they may not be the nicest, but the Malfoy‘s are good people. They have been allies for me for over twenty years. They will allow no harm to come to you. The best part of this plan is that Voldemort wouldn‘t think to look for you right under his own nose. You must understand that this is the best defense we have for you. Tell me, Harry, why are you so against going there?‘ Looking imploringly at Harry, Dumbledore calmly waited to see what he had to say.

Harry started at the question, reliving a memory from 6th year, a flashback he would have much rather not have had to deal with at all.

~~Flashback (close to the end of 6th year)~~

Harry arrived at the Astronomy Tower out of breath; he was running late, but it wasn‘t his fault. He was having some problems with one of the first years. He had been comforting the young lad, who was terribly homesick, and he could not get away in time to keep the promised meeting time.

When Harry entered his destination, his worst nightmare had come true; he walked in and saw his boyfriend, of almost a year, kissing someone else. His world shattered around him. Starring blankly at the scene before him, he snapped.

‘How could you?!‘ Harry screamed with tears welling up in his eyes, running out of the room before the other boy could say anything. If he ever saw Draco Malfoy again, it would be too soon. Draco never attempted to contact him; he knew he had no defense for what he had done. But whether Harry knew it or not, Draco did care very deeply for the Gryffindor.

~~End Flashback~~

Shaking his head to clear out of his flashback, he looked at the headmaster, and with a voice as calm as he could manage, simply stated, ‘I‘d really just rather not sir. It‘s a very personal reason, and I hope you‘ll understand that, I just can‘t.‘

Dumbledore looked at the young man in front of him with sympathy. ‘I do understand, Harry; I really do. But under the circumstances, we don‘t have any other choice. I am sorry; I understand it must be painful, but we have no other alternatives that are as safe as this one will be for you.‘

Harry sighed heavily; he had hoped something else would be available. But to have to spend the summer holidays with the Malfoy‘s was not something he looked forward too. He hadn‘t so much as even looked in Draco‘s direction since that fateful night he he walked in on him, and whomever the other was, snogging. His heart was broken that day. He felt he would never feel for anyone the way he felt for Draco; he loved him. He really did. Now that his heart was broken, he was going to have to live with him for the next three months. This was not going to be easy.

Finally Harry spoke. ‘I understand, sir; really I do. I don‘t like it, but I understand and will deal with it to the best of my ability. How am I to get there, sir?‘ Dumbledore‘s heart broke to hear the pain in the young man‘s voice. Harry had never been very good at hiding his emotions. Despite not saying anything, Albus knew why Harry didn‘t want to go. He knew Draco had broken Harry‘s heart, and Albus was truly upset that Draco could do such a thing to Harry. Harry was such a kind and gentle spirit, just like his mother was.

‘You‘ll be given a port-key the day after everyone leaves; it will deposit you in the main library at Malfoy Manor. I‘ll bring it to you shortly before lunch, so have everything ready.‘
‘Yes, sir. Thank you. Well, I‘ll be going back to the dorms now. I have one more N.E.W.T to study for that I must take tomorrow.‘ Harry tucked his hands in his pockets and turned, dropping his head he walked out of the room in a complacent manner. He didn‘t know what was going to happen, but he really didn‘t want to dwell on it either.

Harry finally made it back to his room. As head boy, he was glad he had a room to himself; although, he did share a common room with Hermione. She was, of course, studying. Things weren‘t the same as they were before. There was a large rift between the now estranged best friends. Over Christmas, there was a Death Eater attack while the Weasley family was on a shopping trip to Diagon Alley. The only survivors of the attack were Ginny and Bill; all the other Weasley‘s perished in the attack. This drove a huge wedge between Harry and Hermione. Now they merely tolerated each other. Being together in any other way then they were now just brought up too many painful memories for both of them. Harry acknowledged her presence, and then fled to his room.

Harry really wished he had someone to talk to right about now. He was literally alone, with no one to confide in. The only one he would trust with this type of news was dead. Sirius had also been caught and given the dementor‘s kiss. Remus, well, he was never really close with Remus; sure he liked him, but that‘s about where it stood. Now with Ron gone too, that left no one for Harry. He still kept an eye out for Hermione. He knew she was seeing Terry Boot, a 7th year Ravenclaw. He was happy that she had someone; even if it meant he had no one.

Harry was laying on his bed thinking. In only three days he would be at Malfoy Manor with the love of his life that had thrown it all away. He wasn‘t sure how to feel about that. He would be graduating. He never had to return to the Dursley; though he‘d almost prefer to go back to them than to Malfoy Manor. Resigned to his fate, he got up and studied for about three hours. He had to make his appearance at dinner, but ate very little. That night he got very little sleep. Memories of his near year with Draco plagued him throughout the night. Luckily for him, he knew he would get through his last N.E.W.T. It was Transfiguration.

The day everyone left, Harry had one hell of a bad day. Memories plagued him again, giving him no reprieve from the past..

~~Flashback (Just before Christmas Hols 6th Year)~~

The hands that were all over his body were driving him crazy; hot moist lips only adding to the effect as well. Moans from two different bodies filled the room. Light and dark, contrasting hair colors to reflect the contrasting personalities of the owners of the moans, looked at one another's faces, never stopping their ministrations. Harry’s green eyes reflected love and desire, while Draco’s silver-gray eyes reflected need and lust. They looked into each other’s eyes for only a moment before Draco captured Harry’s lips in a searing kiss. Draco knew he had unbelievable power over Harry, and he always used it to his advantage; he wasn’t a Slytherin for nothing.

’Harry, I want to feel myself cum deep within you; I want to fuck you raw.’ Draco said without missing a beat, nearly growling in his arousal.

’Yes, Draco; I want you to do that. Fuck me, please; fuck me up the arse just the way you want to,’ Harry begged. Harry knew Draco hands were over him, and at times like this, he didn’t mind.

Draco grabbed the lube from his robes, oiling up his fingers, and without any preamble, shoved two of them into Harry’s arse. Gasping at the sensation, Harry arched into the fingers penetrating him, forcing them deeper. It didn’t so much hurt, as it was a pressure that wasn’t there before. Draco kissed Harry harshly. Most of the time they were gentle together, but sometimes Draco got power hungry and liked it rough, and it seemed now was one of those times. After a few strokes with the fingers, Draco added another one. Quickly tiring after a few strokes with the three fingers, he pulled them out, oiled his shaft, and turned Harry over on his hands and knees. He grabbed Harry’s hips and guided himself in, and in one stroke was deeply imbedded in Harry to the hilt. Harry gasped - gods that hurt -, but he did enjoy it since it wasn’t often that Draco was rough. Pain soon gave way to pleasure, and Draco was slamming into Harry violently and quickly.

Draco finally wrapped his hand around Harry’s cock and jerked a few times, causing Harry to cum hard into Draco’s hand. Draco soon followed, grunting and still thrusting with each pulse to make his orgasm last longer. It was times like these that Harry knew better then to voice his emotions or even show them. Draco would get angry if he did. So he stayed there, quietly collecting himself. Draco recovered quicker and got dressed, leaving Harry there alone. Sometimes Harry really did wonder what the other wanted out of what they had, and how he truly felt about him.

~~End Flashback~~

Harry again shook out of his thoughts. He was in the common room to the head boy/girl rooms, and dwelling on the past was not going to help him in anyway. He was not looking forward to tomorrow’s journey. He wondered he wae was going to make it through this time with the blonde so impossibly close to him. Oh how hard this was going to be. He also had no idea what, or even if, the elder Malfoy knew about the relationship they had once shared. Harry was more than willing to forgive Draco, but he would be damned if he would be the one crawling back and begging for the relationship. The ball was in Draco’s court, and from the events of the last year, he was pretty sure the Slytherin wasn’t coming back into his life. Ron had helped him get over this before his early demise. What brought back all this turmoil was the fact that he was going to have to stay at Malfoy Manor for, at the very least, the summer. Harry had the summer to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. He had five offers on the table. University, Quidditch (three different teams), Auror, Ministry, or apprenticeship at Hogwarts. Harry had until his birthday to make up his mind on what he wanted to do. He would take the time to ask Lucius Malfoy his opinion on the matter. After he found out about the man being a spy for so many years, he grew to respect him. He would at least listen to the man’s input. He was already leaning heavily towards the apprenticeship though.

The day finally arrived that Harry would have to depart for his dreaded destination. He was sulking around the castle after breakfast before he decided to suck it up and attempt to make the best of the situation. He made his way to his rooms and found Dumbledore waiting for him.

’Are you ready, Harry?’ Dumbledore asked patiently.

’Ready as I’ll ever be.’

’Very well; I’ll pop in around your birthday to see if you’ve come up with a decision about your future then, all right?’ Harry nodded his responseB, and Albus shoved the port-key into his hand, causing the familar tug behind Harry's navel.

Upon landing, Harry thought he was going to be sick, not from mode of travel, but of the thoughts of having to put up with Draco in the same house as himself. Harry opened his eyes only to close them again in a painful way. Draco was not only in the house, but also in the same room that the portkey had delivered him to. Oh how this was not his day.

‘What are you doing here, Harry?‘ Draco asked with malice in his voice.

‘What do you care, Malfoy? And for your information, I would really rather not be here, but apparently Dumbledore and your father have deemed this place the safest place for me for the summer,‘ Harry replied, not even trying to hide the pain or discomfort that he felt at the moment.

‘Your staying here? At my house? FOR THE SUMMER?!‘ Draco was in shock; he wasn‘t going to take this information sitting down, that was for sure. Just as he finished his little tantrum, his father walked into the room. Draco spun around, giving the man his best glare. ‘What is the meaning of this, father, and why didn‘t you inform me about this? I could have made sure I was gone before he got here!‘

Draco‘s words cut Harry to the core. So there it was, he truly didn‘t care. Now Harry could move on. He could handle the fact that Draco didn't want him now that he saw the lack of emotions in his eyes. Oh it still hurt, but at least now he knew.

‘Draco, you will mind your tongue in my presence; this is still MY house, and I will do what I see fit to do. I do not need to inform you of anything. Harry is staying here for the summer, plain and simple, deal with it.‘ Lucius turned to Harry; he saw pain reflected as Harry looked at Draco, but said nothing of it. Whatever it was, it was between the two boys, not him. ‘Welcome to Malfoy Manor, Harry; follow me, and I‘ll show you to your rooms.‘ Harry cast a last glance at Draco before casting a levitating spell on his trunk, having it follow him and Lucius out the door, and into the rest of the house.

Lucius led Harry through many hallways and stairways until they reached the rooms that would be Harry‘s. It so happened that they were 4 doors down from Draco‘s rooms as well. This really was not his day, what so ever. Lucius had a house-elf bring him some lunch up, and then informed him that dinner was promptly at 7, dress robes preferred. With that, he left Harry to his own devices. Harry knew the Dark Lord always announced his visits, so he wouldn‘t have to worry about walking into the dining room to find him sitting comfortably in a seat there.

Harry had no more memories flood him after he saw Draco‘s reaction to his being there. With all the resolve he had, he managed to convince himself it was time to move on. He even managed to do just that. At dinner Draco could only stare at Harry, and Harry had not responded at all to this course of action. It had hurt Draco terribly. Harry didn‘t care if it had hurt Draco; he knew it should have bothered him somewhat, but whether it did or not was none of his concern. Harry turned and started to discuss his possible future with Lucius and was very eager to hear the man‘s advice.

The summer passed quickly, and all too soon Harry‘s birthday was upon them. Dumbledore came as he said he would bringing his gift from Remus. The man had sent him a gift. Harry felt very odd about that. He was by no means close to Remus, but Remus was one of his parent‘s best friends. Harry informed Albus of what he had decided to do, so it was arranged that Harry would leave Malfoy Manor on August 29 to begin his apprenticeship with Remus for Defense Against the Dark Arts.

When Harry returned to his rooms after studying in one of the numerous libraries in Malfoy Manor, there was a present on his bed. He had already opened the ones from Albus, Remus and Lucius, all books he would need actually, and he was grateful for the starting collection of books he had gotten for his chosen field of study. He approached the gift carefully; he had no idea who it was from. There was a piece of parchment beside it. Deciding that he should open the letter first, Harry opened the parchment, reading what it had to say. It simply rea
Ha
Harry,

I‘m sorry. Please forgive me.

Draco.

Harry looked at the gift without opening it. He didn‘t want anything from Draco, nothing at all. He had thrown it all away, for what? A meaningless snogging session with someone he never even bothered to go out with after? He would never know, and he didn‘t care. He grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill, sitting at a desk to write a note back to the blonde boy. After he reread it to make sure it got the point across, he took it and the gift, leaving them outside Draco‘s rooms.

The next morning, Draco found the gift unopened with a piece of parchment sitting with it. He picked them up, going back into his room to read in private. Silent tears rolled down his face when he read the note Harry had written.

Draco,

Yes, you are sorry. You threw away my heart; I will never have it back, and you will never see it again.

Harry.

~Finis~
A/N: This is originally a one-shot, works as a one-shot, BUT I have added more. It will be posted at a later date. Updates on this fic won't be as often as Learning to Love a Veela, for that I apologize. I hope you enjoy this!!
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Never Whole