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Love me, love me not	By : blanchemalfoy Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 5357 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and
situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but
not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and
Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark
infringement is intended.

Warning: Slash!

Rating: NC-17

Title: Love me, love me not

Summary: Four years after Voldemort�s defeat, Draco
and Harry are forced to meet again. Draco expects to bury his feelings for
Harry once and for all, but will he succeed?

Pairings: Draco/Harry; Bill/Draco

Beta Reader: Jamie!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chap. 01

A
Meeting

There it was again; that awful noise of a
baby�s crying. The red-haired woman holding the baby protectively in her arms
could only do enough to soothe the baby while trying to keep the hooded man out
of the light green wallpapered bedroom. And the young man standing beside her
could only watch as the hooded man blew up the door. The redhead tried to plead
for her son�s mercy, but it was in vain. The man in front of her knew no such
feeling. In his heart there was only hate and the need to destroy.

Harry knew by heart what came next, and it tore
his heart apart to have to watch that horrible scene over and over again in his
nightmares. He closed his eyes a second before Voldemort shouted the killing
curse towards Lily Evans. Lily�s dead body fell to the floor, and baby Harry
was left alone to deal with what would be the beginning of his cursed life.

Tears fell down Harry�s cheek, and he woke up
panting and sweating. Again. He should have gotten used to the nightmares, but
no matter how many times he had them, he could never get used to seeing his
mother�s lifeless body. But there was nothing he could do to stop the bad
dreams from haunting him.

He threw the blanket away and stood up
unsteadily. There was one thing that could numb him for a short � but long
enough � period of time. Actually, there were two things, but Hermione was
keeping a close watch on him, and going to Knockturn Alley to find an Oblivion
potion wasn�t that easy anymore. But the first thing was easy to get in any
supermarket. Hermione called it a poison. Harry just called it bourbon. It was
the bloody thing�s name after all.

Lazily, he walked toward the living room,
kicking the dirty clothes on his way. He stopped for a moment and looked around
his room with a frown. He wondered when the house-elf had last cleaned it. It
was a huge mess, even for his standards. He made a face as an unpleasant smell
penetrated his nostrils.

�Tilly?� he shouted, his voice sounding weird.
He cleared his sore throat but that only made the pain worsen. �Tilly?� he
tried again, but the house-elf didn�t show up. He frowned again. He buried his
fingers in his hair, frustrated, and then he remembered. He had kicked the
house-elf out of his house. He just couldn�t remember when.

It didn�t matter. The bloody creature did
nothing but bother him about every little thing he did or didn�t do. �Harry was
drinking too much� was her favourite line. And Tilly loved to tell on him. The
moment Hermione walked in, Tilly was there telling her just how many times
Harry had poured out a drink. That was why Harry had had to fire Tilly. He just
couldn�t stand anyone � people or creature � telling him what he could and
couldn�t do with his own damn life.

He shrugged. Tilly was gone. He wouldn�t make a
drama about it. So his house was a little chaotic. He couldn�t care less. After
all, he could always hire someone else to clean it up. Someone who wouldn�t ask
too many questions. He just had to find that person or creature somewhere. He
missed the old days when the house-elves were docile little creatures ready to
fulfil their master�s wishes without a word. Then he shook his head. He was
being cruel and unfair. The house-elves deserved all the liberty they had
gained after Voldemort�s defeat. They deserved that and more. It wasn�t Tilly�s fault that Harry was
drowning himself in self-pity and bitterness.

But he didn�t want to get too philosophical
that early in the morning. In fact, he didn�t want to think at all. He took the
bottle of bourbon from the bar and took a sip. The liquid warmed him all over.
He drank half the bottle before going back to his room. How he got there was a
mystery to him. But he did get there, and he crumbled down on the bed with his
eyes closed and his head dizzy. He smiled weakly as the darkness embraced him.
Maybe this time he could sleep a dreamless sleep. Maybe this time � as it
usually happened when he drank into unconsciousness � he wouldn�t see his
mother�s lifeless body for the thousandth time.

Perhaps this time he would sleep forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

�So, tell me again why me,� asked Draco
one more time to see if he had actually gotten right what was asked of
him.

All the Weasleys were looking at him intently,
and to have so many eyes upon him was very disturbing. Normally, he wouldn�t be
disturbed quite that easily, but this particular situation was anything but
normal. For the tenth time that day, he wondered why he had accepted Hermione�s
invitation to be in the Weasleys� meeting. He had no business there. He was
just an outsider. He just happened to be friends � and partners � with Hermione
G. Weasley, now married to Ronald Weasley. This meeting wasn�t for him. After
all, he couldn�t care less about Harry Potter�s future. He couldn�t care about
Potter at all. He was through with that stupid scar-faced rat. For all he
cared, Potter could go screw himself.

They were enemies. They had always been
enemies. It was the part placed upon them, and they would follow that invisible
script until the end. Potter had never believed in Draco when the blond had
decided to join their side. He had never trusted Draco enough to tell him the
Order of the Phoenix�s plans. He had never given Draco the benefit of the
doubt. Draco would forever be a rival in Potter�s eyes. And that didn�t matter
to Draco. Not at all! He ignored the strange pain in his heart and stared at
Bill Weasley, who was quietly watching him next to the fireplace.

�You�re the only one who can pull Harry out of
his misery,� said Ron quietly. The fiery redhead sounded very upset as he said
that. Draco almost chuckled. He could imagine how hard it was for Ron to say
that to him of all people.

He sighed and crossed his arms. He was
the only one who could help Potter? What a joke. He made a face and wondered who
was being punished there: he, for having to deal with Potter, or Potter for
having to put up with him. He hadn�t said yes yet. He could say no. But he knew
it would be hard having Hermione�s pleading look upon him. Who could have
thought that he would ever be softened by a mudblood?

�Why?� he asked nonchalantly.

Ron felt like going for his throat. �I don�t
know why! It was Hermione�s idea.� Ron looked at his wife. �She also doesn�t
want to explain her reasons to me.� Hermione didn�t seem to be bothered by
Ron�s angry look. �But amazingly, Ginny agrees with her, and so does my mother,
Bill and Fred.�

Draco met Bill�s eyes for a second and quickly
looked away. He felt his cheeks getting hot and he cursed Bill in thought. �Fuck
you, Bill! I told you many times not to fuck with me, just fuck me and be
quiet! This is my life, you bloody bastard!�

�And that�s why you�re here and we�re having
this weird conversation,� Ron kept going without noticing Draco�s turmoil.
�Honestly, I have no idea what you could do to help Harry. He positively hates
you!�

�Precisely!� Hermione exclaimed, taking Draco
out of his dark thoughts and getting his full attention. �That�s why Draco is
perfect for this mission.�

Draco scowled. �This is a mission?�

�Yes. We�re all gathering here today to find a
solution for Harry�s depression,� Ginny said. �We came up with you!�

�Why me, for Merlin�s sake?�

�It�s because Harry hates you, Draco,� Hermione
began to explain. �We tried everything with him so far. We tried therapists,
potions, friendship and blackmail. We tried to make him see how pathetic his
behaviour is. We tried to talk to him and be understanding. We also tried to be
firmer, but nothing worked. It was then that it hit me: you! You may be the
answer. I mean Harry doesn�t like you.�

At this point Draco wanted to scream for her to
stop saying that, as he knew more than anyone else how much Harry hated him.
But he just let her continue, �If you go there and keep bugging him maybe he�ll
respond to you. I�m almost sure that he will! After graduation Harry at least
listened to us and went out every once in a while, but now he doesn�t even care
anymore. He doesn�t want to get out of his room. He doesn�t want to talk to any
of us. He�s becoming numb. But you might get a response from him.�

�A response?�
Draco smirked. �He�ll curse me with the most painful of all
curses!�

�That would be wonderful!� Ginny said. Draco
shot her a deadly look. He wanted to accuse her of being one of Harry�s
problems, as she had dumped him after graduation, but with so many Weasleys
near by to defend her, he decided to stay quiet and listen. �I just meant to
say that at least he would be having some kind of a reaction instead of being
expressionless like he is now,� she tried to amend.

�That�s our goal, Draco. That you get him out
of his indifference toward life,� Hermione finished.

�Look, Draco, we just want you to try it. Just
go to his house, pay him some visits and then we will see what happens,� Bill
said. This time Draco sent him a silent warning, but Bill didn�t seem to care.

�Draco, dear,� said Mrs Weasley.

The moment she opened her mouth, Draco knew it
was a lost battle. Sometimes he could say no to Hermione, but he could never
say no to Mrs Weasley. Not when she was so nice to him even though the Malfoys
had always bullied the Weasleys for generations. Mrs. Weasley had welcomed
Draco into her house with open arms. She treated him like a son. He couldn�t
let her down.

�We know we�re asking too much of you�� she went
on.

Damn right they were.

�That isn�t true! Draco owes us a lot for everything that he and his
family have done to us!� Ron said flustered. Mrs Weasley shot him a cross look
and Ron closed his mouth instantly.
Fred and George laughed at their little brother�s sulking face.

�As I was saying, dear,� Mrs Weasley said in a
sweet tone of voice, turning to Draco again. �We know we�re asking too much of
you and we know that your history with Harry isn�t what we can call friendly,
but perhaps you�re exactly what Harry needs right now.�

Draco avoided looking at Fred, but he didn�t
have the same luck with avoiding Bill�s eyes. Draco didn�t know which look was
worse; Fred�s mischievous one or Bill�s matured one. He knew what both brothers
were thinking. He blamed himself for sleeping with them in the first place.
Fred, his former lover, and Bill, the present one, knew too much about him.
Draco had never really said anything to Fred, and he had spilled just a little
about his misfortunes in life and love to Bill, but both Weasleys had Draco
figured out even before he had figured himself out. They knew what lay deep
inside his heart.

�And let�s not forget the most important
thing,� Mr Weasley pointed out worriedly. �We�re afraid of what Harry might do
to himself. We�re afraid he might hurt himself��

Draco moved uncomfortably at that. Surely the
situation wasn�t that bad yet, was it? The Golden Boy of Gryffindor, the Hero
of the wizarding world, couldn�t be thinking about killing himself, could he?
Draco couldn�t even imagine a world without Harry Potter. Potter�s presence
annoyed him, but it was there. What would happen if Potter wasn�t there
anymore?

�I can�t believe he would do such a thing,�
Draco muttered.

�Well, I also don�t want to believe in that,
Malfoy, but�� Ron sighed. �I�ve known Harry for a long time, and I�ve never
seen him like this. He�s been drinking a lot. I think� he�s getting some strong
stuff in Knockturn Alley. He�s destroying himself.�

�Harry Potter using drugs?� Draco
sneered. �Now that�s something I don�t believe at all! He�s such a
goody-goody!�

�He�s different, Draco,� George said seriously.
Draco couldn�t remember a time where George had been serious about something.

�Yeah, mate. That Harry Potter you used to know is long gone,� Fred
finished. �George and I sent him some new designed stuff from our shop and he
didn�t even care. Those instantaneous parties were a bloody good idea and he
never even bother to tell us how brilliant it was!�

�He�s getting smarter, then,� Draco mocked.
Fred discretely showed him the finger. �Potter was so dull before. He was
always so perfect. Maybe now he�s more interesting,� he smirked, but his
trademark smirk didn�t reach his eyes. It had been so long since he had last
seen or heard of Potter. He had tried to forget his enemy for many reasons and
the main one being that Potter messed up too much with his emotions.

He had tried to deny it � so many times he had
lost count � but it had always been there deep inside of him, and it had grew
bigger as they had to work side by side for the Order. Harry Potter infuriated
him but also turned him on more than anyone Draco had ever known.

But Draco had made a pact with himself. After
Lord Voldemort�s defeat and Lucius� imprisonment, he had sworn to forget about
that madness that drew him to Potter and he had started a new life. He had a
good life now, with good and true friends, and a good fuck every now and then.
Bill was still his favourite fuck buddy. What was Bill thinking by asking Draco
to help Potter?

Draco didn�t want to see Potter again. He knew
that if he went to Potter, his whole life would change. Even if it didn�t
change anything, he knew he would be extremely upset. But he couldn�t bear the
thought of Potter killing himself.

He took a deep breath, not sure if he was
making the right choice, but before he could think about his actions, the words
were already out, �I�ll do it. I�ll bother him so much he will kill me. But I want something in return.�

The Weasleys looked at him puzzled. Hermione
frowned. Draco sneered. She should have known better. He was a Malfoy after
all, and Malfoys always asked for something in return.

�I want his soul.�

Draco almost laughed
at Ron�s stunned expression. He smiled and licked his lips.

�Nah, I�m just
kidding,� he said. The Weasleys breathed soundly in relief. �I just want free
tickets for the whole Quidditch season. I�m sure Ron can help me with that!�

Ron, who was the
captain of the Chuddley Cannons, scowled at Draco. �I don�t think I can get
tickets for the whole season.�

�You�ll try,�
Hermione said sweetly. Ron could never argue when she used that tone with him.
�We have a deal then!� she said, shaking Draco�s hand.

While the Weasleys
talked, Draco�s mind drifted away to Harry. He felt Bill�s eyes upon him, but
he didn�t look up. He couldn�t. Bill knew too much. Bill knew that this mission would cost Draco a lot. It
wouldn�t cost Harry�s soul. It would cost Draco�s.

TBC�
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