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The Reluctant Highlander	By : Tigerrr Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 15152 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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****DISCLAIMER**** JK Rowling owns all characters in the HP
universe, and Karen Marie Moning owns the characters from the Highlander novels.

A/N: Okayyyy�this is
my first ever attempt at taking on a challenge � most of them are too
constricting for me to even consider writing, but when I saw this one I couldn�t
resist it. It�s the �Lost in a book�
challenge by ladyofthemasque over at WIKTT.
I will try to do my best, and hope you will like it. Please review but be nice to me por favor, as I am a fragile and
delicate soul who wilts under pointless nastiness. Lol.

Warnings: AU, HBP
never happened and we will not get to visit Voldy. Some OOCness may occur, leaving the reader
laughing at Severus Snape and wishing that they were �really there� to see all
the fun.

***********************************************************************

Hermione repressed a scream of frustration as Professor
Snape lifted his wand from her cauldron after he had just Evanescoed her
perfect, no-mistakes-whatsoever Energizing Elixir. She fumed as he stared at her challengingly,
just daring her to make a fuss. His lip
curled as he sneered, �Perhaps next time you can concentrate on your own
cauldron rather than on Potter�s.� He
didn�t move, but shifted his black gaze to where Harry stood glaring at
him. �Is there something you�d like to
say about that, Miss Granger?�

She flushed under his taunt and clenched her fists so hard
that her knuckles went white, wishing for the umpteenth time that she had not
chosen to continue with Potions at N.E.W.T. level. For a while, Snape had ignored her throughout
her O.W.L. classes, but his eyes and nasty comments were once again focused
right on her. Memories of his, �I see no
difference� statement rose to her mind as the blood rose to her cheeks; she bit
the inside of her lip to keep from pulling out her wand and performing Ginny�s
trademark bat Bogey Hex upon the foul man.

After what seemed like an eon, he whirled about to swoop
behind Seamus Finnigan. This startled
her fellow Housemate to such a degree that he promptly knocked his cauldron
over onto himself and Ron, who was sharing the table with him. The entire class gasped as the two began
behaving as if they were on the ultimate sugar high. Harry looked patently delighted as Snape
attempted to calm them down to no avail and had to enlist the aid of Pansy
Parkinson, Millicent Bulstrode, and Draco Malfoy to haul the overexcited
Gryffindors to the hospital wing. As
soon as the heavy door closed behind the Slytherins, the remaining class
members burst into laughter.

�Did you see the
way Seamus jumped onto Snape�s back?
Brilliant!�

�The cartwheels Weasley was doing were something else.�

�Don�t forget the chimpanzee impression he was doing at the
same time.�

Hermione sat down on the bench, glanced around surreptitiously,
and stealthily withdrew a book from her knapsack. Huddling over it, she opened the book to her
marker and lost herself in one of her favorite romance novels, Spell of the Highlander, by Karen Marie
Moning. She had charmed the book to look
like a battered copy of Gadding with
Ghouls--Gilderoy Lockhart�s face winked out incessantly to whoever looked
at it-because she shuddered to think of what anyone would say if they were to
catch her reading a *gasp* romance novel�Ron would have heart failure. For an instant she tried to picture Snape as
one of the tall MacKeltars and couldn�t stop herself from giggling. Snape and the other three seventh years came
back sans the other two just before the end of class, but the single remaining
minute did nothing to stop him from giving them so much homework that Parvati
Patil�s eyes threatened to pop from her head.

The Gryffindors grumbled to each other about the workload as
they climbed the steps leading from the dungeons, but Hermione�s mind was still
on her book � she had just reached the part where Cian�s mirror was thrown over
the landing and was broken�was he dead because he was tied to the mirror�s fate? She babbled some excuse to Harry, making
tracks for the library where she could finish the novel in peace and
quiet.

She waved at Madam Pince, the stricter-than-strict
librarian, who smiled back � they had formed something of a friendship during
Hermione�s sixth year and discovered they were kindred spirits in their love
(Harry and Ron deemed it insane worship) of books. Settling down in a secluded corner near the
Restricted Section, she eagerly opened the book and was drawn into the world of
the sexy, magnificent Highlanders, finally dashing the tears from her eyes and
sighing happily as she read that Cian MacKeltar lived after all, to marry his
modern-day love. Hermione closed the
book and pressed it to her chest as she closed her eyes and indulged in her
favorite fantasy, a tall, strong Highland laird who was fierce to the world but
loving and tender to her. That Moning
sure knows how to write a good love story, she thought, and sighed once
again.

She heard voices suddenly, and hurriedly crammed the book
back into her bag as none other than Professor Snape came around the corner
with a grimoire in his hands. His eyes
lit upon her and the ever-present �Slytherins are superior� smirk made its library
debut across his face. Hermione averted
her eyes and ostentatiously flourished the parchment listing the Potions
assignment, pretending to be hard at work.
Her eyes flicked up over the book she was now feigning engrossment in,
and saw him still watching her, only now with his patented �All students are up
to something� look. It was if he
expected some sort of uprising to happen at any moment!

She breathed a sigh of relief as he walked on past her but
almost dropped the text she was holding when he suddenly said, �I wasn�t aware
the list of your talents included reading upside-down,� and flapped on out of
sight like the big bat he was. She
righted the book, scolding herself for being such and idiot. She gathered her other things that she had
spread around so as not to advertise she�d been reading a romance novel � some people
would only make fun of her for reading such a thing, no matter how good it
actually was � and stood to leave.

As she neared the front of the library, just before she got
to Pince�s desk, the librarian gave a great start and shoved a book she�d been
looking at under a pile of papers, her cheeks pinkening slightly. Hermione pretended not to notice, and held
out the Potions book (the one she had been avidly reading from the wrong
direction) to be stamped just as Snape�s voice rang out. �Irma, would you mind coming back here? It
looks as if a student has tampered with the locks�I smell Potter all over it.�

Madam Pince told Hermione to just bring the book back later
for the stamp, and went sailing towards the Restricted Section, a witch on a
mission. �Seek and destroy,� thought
Hermione. Her curiosity had been piqued
at the sight of the stern Pince blushing over a book and after looking to see
if the coast was clear, she lifted the papers from the book.

RENDEZVOUS
WITH ROMANCE

The adventure of a
lifetime awaits you inside!

Intrigued, Hermione picked up the book and read the back
cover.

Escape into fantasy
today, either by yourself or with that special someone. A simple incantation is all it takes for a �Rendezvous
with Romance!�

She giggled, thinking of the librarian using the book. It looked like it would be like the daydreams
Fred and George sold in Diagon Alley, but for some reason, she doubted it would
even work�she couldn�t detect any sort of spell signature around it at
all. She shrugged and opened the book � and
on a whim, recited the incantation.

�Alone or paired, your moment to take

To have fine times, or true love make.

Up to you we shall leave all,

For adventure, for love, you shall fall.�

Hermione snorted. How
cheesy was that? Crookshanks could cough
up a better spell than that � as she had predicted, nothing at all had
happened. What a fraud. As she began to reach to close the book,
Madam Pince and Professor Snape came walking back from the stacks, debating
over which student had been the culprit � predictably, Snape still insisted it
had been Harry. Pince looked over at
Hermione, whose hand was still in the action of closing the book. �NO! DON�T TOUCH THAT!!!� Pince screamed,
running towards her. Hermione jerked in
surprise, her hand sliding from the outer edges of the book into the middle of
the page. A roaring sounded in her ears
and she felt as though she was caught in a whirlpool of light and sound, being
drawn lower and lower. She tried to
scream but couldn�t, the pressure around her too great.

****

Severus Snape stood and stared as the Gryffindor know-it-all
was literally sucked into the book. Once it had ingested the Head Girl, it fell
to the floor with a plop. �What in
Merlin�s name was that?� he demanded to the air where Madam Pince had been
standing only seconds before; she made no reply as she was currently sprawled
across the carpet, having fainted dead away.
He crossed to the book and knelt over it, reading the cover
carefully. What the�? What was
this, some escapist tripe for feather brains?
He was one of those who severely disapproved of romance novels on sheer
principle.

The principle that, if he couldn�t be in love, (or happy,
for that matter) then neither could anyone else. Besides, the stupid things
only had, what, five plots circulating between them? It was either:

1. Boy meets girl,
she loves other boy who doesn�t deserve her so girl switches to other boy

2. Girl meets boy who
loves other girl until he gets brain tumor and switches to first girl

3. Girl and boy meet,
hate each other, then are stuck in each other�s company so they decide to love
each other instead of fighting

4. They meet, are in
love, one of them is presumed dead but a miraculous reunion ensues, or

5. Someone has
amnesia.

Why would anyone want to read that unless they were searching
for the single love scene in the pile of crap, which always happened roughly 20
pages before the end of the book?

He picked up the fallen tome and turned it over, where he
noted the incantation (silently; unlike some people he could mention, he wasn�t
the type to go blathering spells aloud when he wasn�t sure what would happen)
and as he began to shut the book, he noticed some fine print which he doubted
Miss Granger had stopped to read.
Hmm. It said, in essence, that
she would retain her �characteristics� � whatever that meant � and a love
interest would be chosen for her. But
she would be forced to play out the script which would be forming around
her. Good
God � what if it�s the one where someone dies? He thought. He�d best fetch her out of there and return
her to her common room from whence she never should have stirred. Bloody Gryffindors. He recited the lines and
pressed his palm to the page just as Irma opened her eyes and looked at him.

She�ll probably pass
out again, was his last thought before he was sucked into Rendezvous with Romance. If he had been looking at the pages just
then, he would have seen another glowing line of Fine Print appear beneath the
warning he had already read concerning Hermione.

***********************************************************************

Unbelievable pressure squeezed his chest, making it hard for
him to breathe � when the roaring finally stopped and he could draw breath again,
he looked down for his wand and found it missing�his clothes were gone as well.
He blinked down at what he was wearing � what on earth was this? He had soft leather boots and wrapped around
his body was some sort of black, green and silver plaid toga � his mind
cheekily informed him that, yes indeed, he was wearing a kilt. Before he had time to be properly outraged,
however, the book began to form its scenario around him.

Wind blew in his face, a huge black horse materialized
beneath him�and suddenly he found himself smack dab in the middle of some
medieval Scottish battle. As some
miscreant in armor yowled at him and swung a rather sharp looking sword,
Severus Snape had only one word on his mind and on his lips.

�FUCK!�

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The Reluctant Highlander