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Unwell	By : BeckyHoadley Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 3545 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Unwell
- 2-Ch 2
- 3-Ch 3
- 1
- 2
Title: Unwell (expanded.)
Author: Skye
Rating: R
Pairing: Harry/Snape.
Warnings: Non Graphic rape.
Summary: A plan to defeat Voldemort has unforeseen and far reaching consequences. Angst with a wonderfully fluffy ending. While the song inspired the piece this is NOT, I repeat NOT, a song-fic.
A/N: I’ve elaborated in bits and pieces. Paragraphs here and there, much longer interactions with various people. I hope you find it an improvement. If not..*shrugs* I like it better anyway. ______________________________________

I’m not crazy I’m just a little unwell
I know right now you can’t tell but stay a while and you’ll see
A different side of me.
______________________________________

Harry was terrified.

Snape could see it, feel it, smell it. It was natural. It was expected. It would add credibility to this charade. It still bothered him, nearly as much as he’d been surprised Harry had agreed to this. So much could go wrong, so easily. This was an act of desperation which was troubling enough, but the possibility that it could end in disaster was real. So very, very, real.

Grabbing Harry firmly by the upper arms he apparated to the clearing and to the death eaters. It was time to take Voldemort his white whale.

_________________________________________

Snape was holding a large single tail whip, Harry manacled between two posts and kneeling while the circle cheered as he laid one deep cut after another along the boy’s back. It was a bloody mess already, but he didn’t dare stop until Voldemort halted the proceedings.

It seemed like forever before Voldemort was tired of watching. Apparently Harry had stopped being sufficiently entertaining. Thank God. Lowering his aching arm he waited. Finally with a negligent wave he dismissed the death eaters... ’Stay Severus, you have done well. You may watch, and after I am done with him I will allow you to take him.’

Oh no. That was not part of the plan. Rape was not part of the death-eater modius operandi. Albus would never, he would never, have allowed this had it been. He wasn’t even sure the ... thing... was sexually functional. There was nothing he could do now except...

’My lord. May I watch his face?’

Voldemort nodded his approval with a smirk. Snape moved quickly around the boy while Voldemort approached. Harr’s head was hanging down, eyes closed... Unfortunately, he would’t be allowed that reprieve for long. Indeed, when Voldemort yanked his pants roughly down, Harr’s eyes snapped open and his head shot up. Snape immediately ripped off his mask and tossed it aside.
’Good... let him see that you have betrayed him’ Voldemort commended him and Snape wanted to vomit.

Harr’s eyes locked on his. Terror, confusion, and pain all reflected there. Snape knelt in front of Harry with a small helpless gesture and shook his head. Snape did’t look away, he paid no attention to anything beyond Harry’s face, desperately trying to block out what was happening in front of him. It did’t work. Voldemort yanked Harry’s legs back and apart and then entered him with one brutal thrust.

Harry arched silently, eyes filling with tears and he bit into his lip, blood running down his chin. The only sound he made was a nearly inaudible, soft, whimper. After that he was silent, except the occasional low grunt as Voldemort forced himself into his body over and over. He never looked away, though the tears did eventually escape their prison of dark lashes.

Voldemort had his head thrown back, eyes slitted shut as he slammed harder and faster into Harry. As the pain increased, so did the blood flowing from Harry’s mouth. When Voldemort shuddered and held still Harry yelped sharply. Voldemort pulled out and released him abruptly and even in the dark Snape could smell blood drowning out the smell of sex.

Fastening his pants Voldemort looked up, eyes glowing brightly. Harry fell forward limply, not bothering or capable of getting back onto his knees to take the pressure off his shoulders. Snape quickly schooled his features into a mask of indifference and stood as well. He forced himself to smirk.

’You have done well Severus. You may take him, but I warn you... keep him at your Manor. I may wish to visit and I would be sorely disappointed to find him back at Hogwarts.’

’As would I,’ Snape said honestly. After all this they could not rouse Voldemort's suscpions, ’Dumbledore would be... enraged,’ Also true, ’and I have no wish to feel his wrath-- or yours, of course.’

Voldemort smiled nastily, appeased and seemingly convinced by his vehemence. ’Take him.’

Snape released the manacles and noticed Harry was in shock. His pulse was fast and weak, his skin colder than the warm air around them. Sensing Voldemort’s eyes upon them he pulled Harry roughly upward, ignoring the soft gasp of pain and turned to nod at Voldemort, ’My thanks. I am sure I shall enjoy him.’

Then dragging Harry roughly away he apparated to the front lawn of the sprawling old French Manor. Once there Harry immediately sank to his knees throwing up violently and shaking. Snape knelt behind him, held his head and carefully avoided touching the raw mass of flesh that had once been his back.

Still shivering weakly he climbed to his feet, arms wrapped around his stomach and staggered toward the house. Snape held his arm lightly, more to steady him than anything else. Once past the wards and inside Harry passed out cold. It was probably for the best, Snape reflected as he scooped Harry into his arms, feeling blood seeping sluggishly through the sleeve of his shirt.

He had Sparky draw a hot bath and lowered Harry into the tub, keeping one hand behind his head. The contact of steaming water against all those open wounds caused Harry to come around violently nearly leaping from the tub. Snape gabbed his forearms quickly and looked at Harry steadily. In response Harry gritted his teeth and sank back into the water with a hiss.

He reached for soap with shaky hands and Snape intercepted the motion, lathering a cloth himself and washing Harry’s front first, and then braced one arm across the tub and Harry leaned forward, gripping it while Snape gently washed the wounds on his back and rinsed them. Pulling Harry from the tub he wrapped Harry in a large bath sheet, and carried him to one of the bedrooms. He put Harry on the bed, face down and left him briefly.

When he found what he was looking for he returned. Harry hadn’t moved except to push his face into the down pillow and cross his arms over his head. Snape carefully worked the thick salve into the lacerated flesh, knowing it would help with pain as well as healing. Finally coating his fingers in the stuff he placed one hand in the small of Harry’s back and pushed down. ’Harry, I’m going to put this inside you. It will help. Try to relax.’

He didn’t get a response, but he didn’t expect one. He had however wanted to warn the boy. He slid his fingers carefully inside and groaned and the extend of ripping and tearing he found. He wasn’t surprised, but he wasn’t pleased either. Ideally Harry should have had a doctor. As it was this was going to be hellaciously painful, and dangerous, for sometime. Harry remained eerily silent though ever line in his body was tense with pain and unease.

Finally, having done what he could, he pulled his fingers out and found them streaked with blood. He wiped his hands on a convent towel and pulled several warm woolen blankets up. When he stood to turn off the light he was surprised when a small hand circled his wrist and stopped him. Harry didn’t open his eyes but he tugged slightly and whispered roughly, ’please don’t go.’

’I’m not going anywhere,’ Snape assured him. Harry released his arm and Snape pulled open the night stand drawer and pulled out a crystal vial and broke the wax seal and unstopped it. Harry pushed up on an elbow when he felt the glass against his lips, eyes opening briefly in a dazzling display of pain, and drank the bitter concoction without protest.

It didn’t take long to work, and for Harry to slip into drugged, dreamless, sleep.

_________________________________________________________________

Unbeknownst to Harry, both Voldemort and Lucius arrived in the next week to make use of Harry’s services. Snape put them off, saying that he would like his pet alive and further activity of that nature would certainly cause him to hemorrhage and die. He wasn’t lying.

Finally he could put them off no longer. He didn’t know how to broach the subject with Harry. He had been quiet and withdrawn since he’d arrived. Finally he just told him, with brutal honesty. Harry closed his eyes briefly and then opened them again, ’Well, they will either kill me, or they won’t. We did this to get you back in Voldemort’s good graces and confidence. It’s working. We can’t throw that away now.’

Snape was astounded by Harry’s courage. When Voldemort and Lucius walked in together Harry didn’t so much as flinch. He simply waited. Snape was dismissed rather abruptly and went to the formal living room where he paced restlessly. Though it felt like eternity it wasn’t long before Lucius reappeared, looking smug.

’Severus my friend I never would have believed it possible, but you’ve broken him quite effectively. I didn’t think you had it in you.’

’Lucius I am not now and will never be your friend,’ Snape spat, ’Just because my methods differ from yours do not make them ineffective. In fact I would think that the evidence points to the opposite. Mayhap you would like advice.’

Lucius snarled and stepped forward menacingly.

’He’s right Malfoy.’ A cold sibilant voice interrupted, ’he has proven himself both effective and loyal. You have not. I think a promotion may be in order, don’t you? After all he is responsible for providing the entertainment you just partook of.’

’Yes, milord.’

’I thought you’d see things my way. Come. Severus, we will talk later.’

’Yes milord,’ Snape echoed Malfoy.

Finally, they were gone and Snape was free to check on Harry. He found him in his bed, face down and naked, but unbloodied. It seemed that Voldemort had taken his wish to keep him alive to heart. Any damage was minimal, he thought with relief. Then Harry’s eyes opened and he was met with utter desolation and despair. The once crystalline emerald eyes were hazy and dull, the color of scummy pond water.

’Hey,’ Harry said softly rolling stiffly onto his side and pulling his knees up to his chest.

Snape pulled the comforter up and Harry snuggled into it like a young child.

’Hello...,’ Snape said with a frown.

’Did he say anything?’ Harry asked hoarsely and coughed roughly. His throat was irritated... Understanding dawned a moment later and Snape summoned Sparky who reappeared immediately with a nearly freezing glass of apple juice. Harry sat up with a wince and took it gratefully and drank it slowly before sinking back into the pillows and blankets

’I’ve been promoted, much to Malfoy’s chagrin.’

’Good... I am glad.’

’I know you are,’ Snape said thickly, pushing unruly hair away from his forehead gently, ’I know you are.’

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
’Is there anything you need?’ Snape asked quietly after a particularly gruesome day. Harry was past physical injury at this point. He’d learned to stay utterly pliant, but he was always sore and hoarse following these... gatherings where he was a ’party favor’ or ’amenity’ to be made use of.

Snape always did what he could for him, often staying the night and waking him before nightmares could truly take hold. It had started from duty. He had delivered Harry into this hellish situation, and more amazingly Harry had stayed. He played the part of his captive, not willing to give up the advantage Snape gave the Order and risk innocent lives. More amazingly he wasn’t willing to risk Severus’s life by making it known that he had betrayed, and was still betraying, Voldemort. The least he could do was sit with the boy and guard his sleep. At some point over the previous weeks a respect and affection had joined the guilt and sense of duty.

’Make love to me?’ Harry was sitting on the edge of the bed looking utterly wrung out.

Well. That was unexpected. ’I was thinking more a cup of tea and a bath,’ Snape choked out.

Harry closed his eyes to say, ’Please.... I need to remember sex isn’t always pain and humiliation. I know you can’t stand me, and I’m sorry I’m asking you this but.. Please. I need to remember there’s more. I need--’ he couldn’t finish the sentence. Instead he opened his eyes, looking lost and needy, with some indefinable emotion playing across his face.

’I don’t hate you, Harry.’ Snape reassured him, ’but I don’t want to take advantage of you.’

’You’re not.’

God help him. He couldn’t deny Harry-- He couldn’t even deny himself. Lust or something deeper, he didn’t know and it didn’t matter. He knew he grown fond of Harry, and he knew he admired his courage and determination. It was, for the moment, enough.

Harry seemed to sense his wavering resolve and kissed him softly, tentative and uncertain. Lips barely meeting in a questioning, not quiet chaste kiss. Snape brought one hand to lightly hold his shoulder, the other cupped behind Harry’s neck, stroking his thumb along Harry’s jaw.

It was all the encouragement Harry needed. He moaned softly and parted inviting Snape’s tongue to explore the recesses of his mouth. Snape obliged him, stroking over his palate his teeth and sucking and lightly biting a full lower lip.

Then he retreated, slowly. Harry’s tongue emerged tentatively, like a small animal-- ready to retreat if startled. Hands rose to his chest, shaking as he tried to deal with the buttons. Snape spared a moment to be grateful he was wearing simple muggle clothes and not his typical high collared attire. Snape pulled back, breaking the kiss and asked cautiously, ’Are you sure this is what you want?’

Harry nodded slowly and Snape simply shrugged deliberately out of the shirt and then deliberately undressed, not taking his eyes off the undoubtedly nervous young man. He was equally indubitably determined... and aroused. Snape left the lights on, but lowered them and crawled into the bed and under the covers where Harry joined him. For a long time, Snape just held him.

After a bit Harry’s hands began to trace light aimless patterns on his chest and Snape rolled onto his back, giving Harry the access and freedom to do as he wished. Giving Harry the power, the control that had been denied him so totally these last weeks.

Harry’s face showed his surprise at Snape’s submission, and his relief. His hands grew slowly bolder, trailing down a lightly furred, well muscled thigh and back up the buttery soft inside. Snape let his legs fall open under the questioning touch.

This was so... hard for him, truth be told. Hard to turn himself over to someone else, to be so vulnerable, but its what Harry needed and damn if he wasn’t going to give it to him. Apparently he didn’t entirely succeed in masking his own unease because Harry froze, hand on his thigh and propped on an elbow above him.

Snape looked up into wounded eyes and simply pulled Harry down to him and kissed him firmly. A hand tangled in his hair, reveling in the texture and feel of it sliding through fingers, and the other trailed lightly over his erection. Snape fisted his hands in the sheets beneath him. Harry pulled back and said with a shaky smile, ’This might be more interesting if you touched me,’ as he pulled Snape’s hand up and put it on the side of his hip, ’You can even pretend I’m someone else.’ Harry frowned and looked away, ’but if you don’t want to... after they’ve all..’

’No!’ Snape said, startled by his own vehemence, ’No,’ he repeated more softly, ’I just don’t want to hurt you.’

’You can’t.’
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Unwell