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Professor Snape teaches the Art of Sex	By : Kailael Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 16066 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Professor Snape teaches the Art of Sex
- 1
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Universe belongs to J.K.
Rowling, no $$$ is being made from this story.

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Thursday Night: Snapes Private Quarters

            Severus Snape was sitting in his favorite arm
chair sipping a glass of Fire whiskey when the flames in his fireplace turned
green.

            �Professor Snape?� called the voice from the
fire.

            Severus recognized that voice and hurled his
shot glass into the fireplace, sending flying shards of glass at his unwanted
caller. �What the hell do you want Arthur.� He demanded with venom in his voice.

            �Sorry to bother you Severus but the Ministry
needs you to teach an upcoming class in our adult education program.�

            �Find someone else!� Severus snapped.

            �There is no one else I�m afraid. All the other
professors have either taught their one required class or are signed up for one
that�s coming soon. I�m afraid this class falls to you.� Arthur Weasley said
quickly, preparing to pull his head from the floo to avoid getting hit with more
glass.

            �Since I�m obviously going to be forced to
teach this class you might as well tell me what you�re sticking me with
Minister.� Severus hissed as he reached for a new glass and poured himself a
double.

            �You�ll be teaching an introduction to
responsible and safe sex.� Arthur replied without missing a beat.

            Severus spit his drink across the room upon
hearing this. �Can you repeat that, I don�t think I heard you correctly?� he
asked in shock.

            �I said you�ll be teaching an introduction on
responsible and safe sex.� Arthur reiterated. �Really Severus I think you�re
getting off easy.�

            Severus looked thoughtful for a moment. He
could really have some fun with this as well as ensure that the Ministry never
asked him to teach an adult education class ever again. �Minister, would I have
full autonomy on the curriculum and activities?� he asked with a gleam in his
ebony eyes.

            �Of course Professor, the class will be under
your complete control in all aspects.� Arthur replied.

            �When do you need me to teach the class?� he
asked thoughtfully, already plotting.

            �Saturday, we also have assigned you a teaching
assistant. Miss Granger is working on her teaching degree so this class will
count towards university credits for her.� Arthur said with a smile.

            �Lovely, I�ll make sure she assists me to the
fullest extent.� Severus remarked with a smirk. �Now if you�ll excuse me
Minister, I have to prepare for this weekends class.�

            �Of course, thank you Severus.� Without another
word the Minister�s head disappeared and the flames returned to normal.

            �You won�t thank me when you see what I plan to
teach.� Severus muttered as he strode to his book shelves. He removed his copies
of The Wizards Kamasutra, Eromancer�s Guide to Tantra and his
personal favorite How to make your Partner scream your name all night.
Nope the class was definitely in for a rude awakening.

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Saturday Morning: Ministry of Magic 9am

            Severus stepped into the assigned classroom an
hour early and took a look around. He set his teaching materials down on his
desk and picked up the list of signed up students, it read:

Introduction to Responsible and Safe Sex

Professor:
Severus Snape

Teaching
Assistant: Hermione Granger

Male Students:
Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Argus Filch, Albus Dumbledore,
Neville Longbottom, Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Lucius Malfoy and Filius
Flitwick.

Female
Students: Lavender Brown, Pansy Parkinson, Luna Lovegood, Sybil Trelawney,
Minerva McGonagall, Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott, Parvarti Patil, Ginny Weasley
and Pomona Sprout.



            Severus smirked as he pulled out the class
agreement he made up. It was enspelled with a secrecy clause and signing it was
the same as taking a wizards oath. The forms fine print stated that the signer
hereby consents to all forms of participation, demonstration as well as keeping
the contents of the class secret from those not in the class. He placed the form
on the outside of the door and spelled the door to not open unless the person
signed it.

            He shut the door, drew his wand and began
transfiguring the ten tables into ten full-sized beds. He charmed the bedding
silver and gold and then walked back to his desk to retrieve his teaching tools.
Setting his materials aside he transfigured his desk into a king-sized four
poster bed with serpents etched into the wood work and black bedding. Yes he
thought that would do very nicely, almost like being at home in his chambers.

            He stepped over to the podium and busied
himself with going over his lesson plan one last time. He was deeply immersed in
his notes when Hermione Granger entered the room.

            �Holy hell this room looks like a brothel!� She
exclaimed suddenly.

            Severus smirked and lifted his head from his
notes. �Come now Miss Granger, what would a girl like you know about a brothel?�

            She glared at him. �I know enough!� she
declared.

            �Yes and I imagine it was all learned in a
book.� He replied with a sneer. �Don�t worry Miss Granger you�ll be as educated
as the rest of the class by the time the day is through.�

            �I�m your assistant, I�ll be co-teaching not
learning Professor Snape.� She stated assuredly.

            �You obviously didn�t read the form you signed
to get in the door Miss Granger.� He replied derisively.

            �I did too read it!� she insisted.

            �Then tell me what you agreed to.�

            �I agreed to be your teaching assistant.�

            �Tsk tsk Miss Granger one must always read the
fine print.� He flicked his wand and conjured a copy of the agreement she
signed. �This is what you agreed to if you don�t believe me go check the door.�

            She read the document and glared at him. �This
doesn�t say anything about me agreeing to learn Professor, it just guarantees my
participation. This is a book learning class Professor. There will be no
demonstrations or participation beyond reading.�

            He burst out laughing and gripped his side. �Do
you honestly think that I�m teaching a book class the way this room is setup
Miss Granger? Are you really that stupid?� he asked.

            She eyed the room again and bit her lip. She
wasn�t kidding when she said the room looked like a brothel and now she was
starting to worry about what she agreed to when she signed that form.

            Severus picked up his list and assigned a male
name to each of the available beds and then numbered them one to ten. �Miss
Granger would you please number ten pieces of paper and make sure that the
ladies draw a number on their way in.�

            She nodded hesitantly and picked up a pen to
follow his instructions. Her eyes suddenly fell upon the massive bed at the head
of the class and she shuddered to think that she might actually have to spend
any time in it.

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Saturday Morning: Ministry of Magic 10am



            Hermione was standing outside the door to the
classroom holding a black silk bag with numbers in it. The first arrivals were
Lucius and Draco Malfoy; they signed their names and slipped into the room
without as much as a look at her. The next arrival was Hannah Abbott, Hermione
waited for her to sign her name then held up the bag.

            �You need to draw your seating assignment.� She
said quietly.

            Hannah reached in and drew her number then
slipped into the room quietly. Hermione shook her head and leaned back against
the wall to wait. Luna Lovegood and Ginny Weasley arrived next; they signed the
form and took their numbers without batting an eyelash.

            The rest of the class arrived in small groups
over the course of ten minutes and once everyone was inside Hermione drew a
breath and went in herself. She walked through the classroom to the front of the
room and sat on the edge of the big black bed and took in the assigned pairings
while she waited for Professor Snape to make his entrance.

            Harry was paired with Lavender on bed one. Ron
was paired with Pansy on bed two. Draco and Luna were making googly eyes at each
other on bed three. Argus Filch and Sybil Trelawney were sitting as far apart
from each other as possible on bed four. Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall
were cuddled up on bed five, probably helped that they�d been together for
years. Neville and Susan were staring nervously at their own hands on bed six.
Crabbe was leering at Hannah on bed seven as she sat perched on the very edge of
the mattress. Goyle was looking at Parvarti with puppy dog eyes as they sat
together on bed eight. Lucius Malfoy was sitting on bed nine beside Ginny acting
as if this was the most normal thing in the world. Flitwick and Sprout were
making out on bed ten much to the chagrin of the rest of the students.

            The classroom door slammed open and Professor
Snape strode into the room his robes billowing behind him. He drew his wand and
hit the couple on bed ten with a stinging hex before tucking his wand back up
his sleeve. He turned to face the class with a pleased smirk on his face.

�You are all here to learn the
subtle and exacting techniques of sex and seduction,� he began as he swept
through the room giving them all a thorough once over. �I don�t expect that many
of you will understand the delicacy of the subject, the precision of the act in
which one makes their partner moan in bliss and shatter into pieces. I can and
will teach you how to tease the mind, delight the senses and cause your partner
to scream your name in ecstasy. If you�re not a bunch of dunderheads like I
teach in my regular classes.�

            Harry raised his hand and Severus leveled his
gaze upon him. �You have a question Mr. Potter?�

            �Isn�t this supposed to be a class on safe and
responsible sex?� Harry asked.

            �Yes Potter, however all the theory in the
world is useless without practical application. Does anyone else have
questions?� he replied with a dismissive air as he looked over the room. �No?
Very well.�

            �I could ask you what you all know about
contraception and with the exception of Malfoy Sr. and the other professors in
this room I would most likely hear the Charm as the preferred means.� Severus
rolled his eyes at this and then flicked his wand at each of the beds causing
two vials of a black potion to appear on them. �This is the Contra Nacimiento
Potion, the preferred choice of Eromancers and Potion�s Masters. It means Anti
Birth and is effective for a year unless the antidote is taken.�

            Lucius smirked and picked up his vial downing
it with finesse. Professor Snape drank his down without expression and the rest
of the class quickly followed suit only to end up coughing and sputtering in
disgust.

            Professor Snape cocked an eyebrow at them and
then glared at his assistant until she drank hers down so he�d look away.
Satisfied that the potions had all been taken he turned back to face the class.

            All right people strip!� He demanded.

            The ladies all looked self-conscious as the
guys began to strip off their clothes. Lucius cast a disrobing spell and
reclined back on the bed with an air of confidence. Flitwick banished his
clothes and pounced on Sprout who had also banished hers.

            Snape flicked his wand and hit them with a
stinging hex yet again. �Patience you two or I�ll switch your partners.� He said
as he spelled his clothes to the podium. He eyed the ladies in the room and
noticed that Ginny was in the process of removing her dress with Lucius�
encouragement but aside from her and Sprout the rest of the ladies were frozen
in place.

            �Gentleman I suggest you take this as the
beginning of our next lesson. When a lady is nervous it is your job to make her
feel comfortable with you.� Snape stated as he moved towards his assistant. He
moved onto the bed behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. �Lesson one
was contraception, lesson two is foreplay. Caress, tease, tantalize.� He purred
while sliding his hands over Hermione�s shoulders, before pressing his lips to
her neck at the pulse point.

            The class seemed mesmerized as they watched
Snape at work. He nibbled his way down her neck while his hands soothingly
caressed her shoulders and arms. He left no part of her visible skin untouched
as he stroked her hands and kissed her finger tips.

            Severus worked Hermione free of her clothes
layer by layer kissing every inch of newly exposed skin until she was bared to
the world and lay panting on the black silk sheets of the bed. He pulled free of
her, rose to his feet and slowly made his way through the class to examine their
techniques.

            �Potter less suction, lighter kissing, her skin
isn�t supposed to look like a giant bruise.�

            �Weasley they�re breasts not squeeze toys, I
don�t think you�d like her to maul your balls like you are doing her breasts.�

            �Nice work Draco I can see your father has
taught you well.� Severus smirked as he took in the young mans technique before
continuing to the next bed.

            �Trelawney I know you�re desperate but Merlin
woman Scourgify it first!�

            �Albus spit out the lemon drop before it gets
stuck in Minerva�s hair!�

            �Longbottom!� Snape yelled suddenly.

            Neville jumped at the sound of Snapes voice and
pulled himself away from Susan�s succulent breast. �Um� y.yes Professor Snape?�
he stuttered.

            �Good work Boy, excellent technique.� Snape
said with approval, he only yelled because he missed starling the boy.

            �Crabbe! Goyle! Get back on your own beds and
pay attention to your partners or so help me you�ll fail this class!�

            Severus eyed Flitwick and Sprout who were
playing tonsil hockey and groping each other. He shook his head and decided it
wasn�t worth the effort to correct them. He turned to check on Lucius and Ginny.

            Lucius was sucking on Ginny�s toes while
stroking her calves and working his way up her legs. Ginny was laying sprawled
on the bed moaning in bliss and Lucius worked his magic. It was obvious to all
present that Lucius sure as hell had no need for this class.

�Remember ladies foreplay is a
two way street, enjoy each other and we can move on. Now continue what you�re
doing but please try and attend to the front of the room as I demonstrate Lesson
three: Penetration.� Snape said with a wicked grin.

Severus moved onto the bed and
positioned himself over Hermione. He parted her thighs and slipped a finger
inside her to test her readiness. He fought back a grin when he found her
dripping for him. Nestling himself between her spread legs he thrust home and
buried himself in her softness with a groan.

She hooked her legs over his hips
and locked her feet together behind him pulling him in deeper. She moaned softly
as he began to thrust within her welcoming depths. Her hands tangled themselves
into his hair as she pulled him down for a kiss.

            His lips claimed hers, drinking in her moans
like a fine wine and he claimed her body like conquering lord laying claim to a
fortress. His groans grew louder with every return of his thrusts.

            They continued some time moving together in
wild abandon. Their mouths were engaged in passionate kisses. Her hands were
gripping his shoulders as if for dear life when at last the bubble broke and she
shattered in his arms crying out his name in pure ecstasy.

            �Oh Severus�Oh My God!� She cried.

            He continued to move within her, riding the
waves of her orgasm before sinking into the swell and joining her. His back
arched as he thrust deeply within her spilling himself. He collapsed against her
and took a much needed breath, rolling free and cuddling her for a moment.

            �Lesson four is the aftermath, some people like
to cuddle, some fall asleep, whatever you do, don�t make your partner feel
unimportant after the act is finished.� Snape stated as he planted a kiss on
Hermione�s forehead, noting that she was one of the sleepers and was already
out.

            �Time to demonstrate your understanding of
lessons three and four, begin when ready.� He stated as he rolled out of the
bed, Scourgified himself and spelled on his clothes. He cast Scourgify on
Hermione as well and spelled her clothes back on her leaving her to nap in peace
as he turned back towards the class.

            Flitwick and Sprout were both out cold snoring
loudly; having both ignored the class for the opportunity to shag in public.
Snape cast a silencing charm on them and spelled the curtains on their bed shut.

            Crabbe and Goyle were playing Exploding Snap on
bed eight while Hannah and Parvarti sat on bed seven watching the others just
incase there was a written test they needed to pass.

            Albus was reclining back on the bed while
Minerva was hovering over him sucking his cock with vigor �Suck it Minerva, suck
it like a lemon drop!� he exclaimed.

            Severus shuddered and snapped the curtains shut
on the two of them, some things just plain shouldn�t be seen.

            Checking on bed six Snape noticed Neville on
his back with Susan riding him as he gripped her hips. He was rather impressed
that they�d go beyond missionary in the class and with a flick of his wand he
shut the curtains of their bed as well.

            Walking by bed nine he noticed the curtains on
the bed were already shut and cautiously pulling them aside he saw Ginny on her
hands and knees and Lucius thrusting into her with precision. The expression on
her face implied she was moaning loudly but the fact that he heard nothing meant
that Lucius had shown the foresight of a silencing charm. He let the curtain
fall shut and moved on.

            He started towards bed four when shrieking at
bed one drew him in that direction instead. �Damn it Potter, use a silencing
charm when you�re with a screamer.�

            �Sorry Professor.� Harry mumbled before casting
the silencing charm.

            �Weasley unless you want to be nicknamed �The
Jackhammer man� may I suggest slowing your pace and following your partners
cues.� Snape muttered in disgust before moving to the next bed.

            Draco was worshipping Luna like she was a
goddess. It was pretty obvious he didn�t need this class either. With a flick of
wand Snape shut the curtains on that bed as well.

            Turning he glanced towards Filch and Trelawney
what he saw them doing turned his stomach. Things like that need to be left in
Knockturn Alley. He focused and turned their bed into a portkey and uttering the
trigger word sent them to the north tower of Hogwarts and out of his sight.

            Severus strode back to the podium and
straightened his paperwork while the class finished up. It took a total of
thirty minutes before everyone was finished, dressed and looking in his
direction.

            �This concludes our class on the introduction
to responsible and safe sex. You are all dismissed.� He stated as he waved them
off.

            The class got up and left the room, some in a
hurry, some in a daze. Once they were gone Severus restored the room back to its
original form and woke up his assistant.

            �Miss Granger, class is over.� Severus said
quietly. �I hope you learned something today.� Without another word he summoned
his supplies and left the room leaving her sitting on the desk, barely awake.

            He passed the students in the hall and walked
up behind Lucius Malfoy patiently waiting for him to finish his conversation.

            �Dinner tonight at my place, say at seven?�
Lucius asked with a dazzling smile.

            �Sure I�d like that a lot. Though make it
seven-thirty.� Ginny replied. �I�ll see you then.�

            Lucius turned around and eyed Severus. �Had to
eavesdrop didn�t you?� he asked.

            �But of course, though I am curious how you
ended up in an adult education class?� Severus remarked.

            �Penance, I kicked a house elf after Narcissa
died and an Auror saw me. Got fined and sent to adult education classes. Damn
that Miss Granger and her damn SPEW. This is my last class however and damn was
it a surprise.� Lucius replied with a smirk.

            �Yes well I�m sure I won�t be asked to teach
one of these again. Especially after our dear Minister of Magic discovers that
his daughter started dating you after my class.� Severus remarked with a touch
of happiness in his voice.

            Lucius chuckled. �Come over tomorrow and we�ll
break in a bottle of brandy.�

            �I�ll be there.� Snape replied as he strode off
down the corridor before calling back over his shoulder. �Oh and don�t forget to
invite me to the wedding!�

            �Severus!� Lucius shouted, shaking his head.

            Severus just kept on walking chuckling to
himself; it was so easy to get a rise out of Lucius some days.

THE END!

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AN: This story is dedicated to Ms_Figg who called in my
I.O.U. on a one-shot and to the fact that I�m just plain at a stand still in my
work in progress which hopefully will be available to the public in its entirety
before the end of the year. Thanks for your time, hope you enjoyed this piece.
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Professor Snape teaches the Art of Sex