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Too Quiet	By : quitedemented Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 4098 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Too Quiet
- 1
Disclaimer: I own nothing they belong to J.K.R. and those book and movie people! I make no money from this I just like playing with them.
Warnings: Suicide attempts, character death, foul language and angst.
AN: Ok this came to me when I was watching TV, a commercial came on for a church and I heard the line �Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ� and I thought �savior? Like savior of the wizarding world!� and an idea popped into my head. I thought of a line Harry could say that was pure angst and perfect for a suicide fic so here it is. Oh and you�ll know the line when you see it *grins*.
He wasn�t going to make it in time he had sat reading too long and the Astronomy tower was too far away. But he had to make it, he had to stop Harry.

Draco ran as fast as he could up the stairs clutching the worn book to his chest and hoping it wasn�t too late. Reaching the top of the stairs he burst through the door in time to see Harry sending his owl away with a letter. He was standing very close to the edge.

�Potter... you can�t.. do it!� panted Draco.

Harry turned toward him his back to the open air. �So you figured out what I meant huh. I shouldn�t be surprised I�ve always known you were bright but I do wonder how you knew I�d come here?� he asked quietly.

�You left your journal behind.� Malfoy said still clutching the journal.

�Ah, that explains it� said Harry staring at it�s worn cover. �You can go now.� he said softly but firmly.

Draco glared �I�m not leaving you! Where do you get off saying things like that about yourself? Who the hell do you think you are?� yelled Draco his voice nearly breaking.

Harry smiled forlornly at him, the wind from an incoming storm rustled his hair and the clouds painted a bleak grey background. �Didn�t you know Malfoy, I�m The Savior of the world, just like Jesus.� he said. Draco looked at him worriedly.

�And You know what happen to Jesus don�t you?�

�What?� Draco asked warily.

Harry smiled sadly �He died for our sins.� Harry stepped back further on the ledge �Goodbye Draco.� he said softly and with that Harry closed his eyes and let himself fall backward off the tower arms spread wide.

�Harry!� yelled Draco. �Gods no this can�t happen!� He thought in anguish. Draco pulled out his wand and cried the only spell he could think of to help. �WINGUARDIUM LEVIOSA!� The spell hit it�s target but it wasn�t enough. Harry slowed very slightly but he was still falling much too fast to survive a fall from that height.

�NO! HARRY!� screamed Draco.

He didn�t hear the door slam open behind him, he didn�t see the figures running across the lawn toward the tower and he didn�t feel the tears running down his own face. All Draco saw and heard was his own scream and Harry Potter hitting the ground.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Journal of Harry Potter

Oct. 23 1997 11:37pm
It doesn�t feel right here. It�s too quiet, no one is acting like they used to before I...before Voldemort was killed. I guess that�s to be expected. But people were supposed to be happy after I.. after he died. I was supposed to be happy. But I was never meant to be happy, I know that. I�ve always known it deep down but I had hoped, I was foolish to. As Snape would say I�m �a foolish Gryffindor�, well Snape would have said that, before. He doesn�t say much of anything to me anymore. Who would have thought I would miss him yelling at me and deducting points but I do. He�s changed and it hurts more then I thought it would.

He was always a constant in my life. No matter what happened he never thought differently of me, never better never worse, or not for long at least. He was always a constant him and Malfoy, but even Malfoy�s changed. I understand that too, he lost his father after all and his mother is still in St. Mungo�s. They say she may never wake up. The sleeping beauty of St. Mungo�s, they still have no idea what spell she was hit with but I know Professor Snape has been looking for a cure in his spare time. I think he cares for her as more than a friend. I hope she pulls through for both his and Malfoy�s sake. No one deserves to be an orphan, even when I hated Malfoy I wouldn�t wish that on him.

Dumbledore invited me to his office for tea and to see how I was again. I told him I was fine like always and like always he didn�t really believe me.

It�s so quiet, too quiet, I would give anything to hear Ron and Neville�s snoring and to be woken up early by Hermione in the morning. But that won�t happen they�re never coming back just like my parents and Sirius. The dreamless sleep is starting to kick in so goodbye for now.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
�Potter�s in the paper again.�

Draco looked over at the copy of the Daily Profit in Blaise�s hands and shrugged. �It has been over a week I was being to wonder if they�d gotten bored with him.� he remarked dryly.

Blaise snorted �Not likely, they�ll never get tired of �the-boy-who-lived�.� Baise looked up at the entrance to the library where Harry Potter was walking in. �Speaking of the-git-who-wouldn�t-die he just walked in.�

Draco�s head shot up and he looked over to where Potter was sitting down at a table not far from the one he was studying at. Draco watched as Harry pulled out a worn book and began to write in it.

Blaise watched Draco stare at Potter for a few minutes before he huffed and stood up. �I can see you have some important �studying� to do so I�ll leave you to it.�

Draco flushed but nodded a goodbye and looked back down at the book he had be reading before Potter had come in. After a moment he chanced another glace at Potter. Harry was still bent over, what Draco now suspected was his journal, writing quietly. It appeared that he hadn�t even realized Blaise had just walked past him on his way out. Draco frowned to himself and went back to studying.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Nov. 18 1997 12:09am
I ran into Draco today, literally ran into him knocked his books from his arms and everything. They went everywhere and I felt bad so I apologized and offered to help pick them up and he said �I can manage it fine on my own Potter.�. No sneer, no �Watch where you�re going four eyes!� or �Pay attention to where you�re walking scar head!�, just �I can manage� and he walked away.

I miss the old Draco, the one that snapped at me for everything, the one that didn�t take shit from anyone, the one that held his head high no matter what happened. I don�t like this withdrawn, passive aggressive, almost polite Draco. He�s too proper, too respectful, too... quiet.

I got another invite from Dumbledore. We had tea, we chatted and he asked how I was. I said I was fine. He still doesn�t believe me but he doesn�t want to pry. I�m glad for that because I don�t really think he would like the answer he got if I told him what I really felt like.

Remus wrote me and asked how I was too. I wrote back and told him I was okay and that I was coping and that school work kept my mind busy. It was all lies but hopefully it will make him feel better or at least keep him from asking questions. I could tell him the truth I suppose but what would be the point? He would no doubt try to comfort me but I don�t want that and I don�t want him to have to try, I�m not worth the effort it would take him.

I know he would try for his conscience�s sake if nothing else. He doesn�t need to waste energy worrying about me so I try not to give him anything to worry about. If I wasn�t here he wouldn�t have to worry. The dreamless sleep is beginning to kick in, finally. I took a bit more tonight then I should but it�s been taking too long these last few nights. Goodbye for now.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After a few more minute of trying and failing to read his book Draco decided to go back to one of his favorite hobbies, Potter watching. He was discreet of course, he kept his book in front of him so he could peek over the top of it at Potter.

Harry was still writing, he apparently had a lot on his mind. Draco noticed that he had circles under his eyes, as if he hadn�t been sleeping well. It was odd though because Draco hadn�t noticed them before and he prided himself on noticing these things. He wondered perhaps if Potter had used a glamor to cover them because those kind of circles didn�t appear over night they took weeks of sleepless nights.

In fact Draco had only ever seen eyes like that on one other person, his Godfather Severus and that was after he had endured almost three months of teaching during the day and constant research , spying and torture at night. Severus had been lucky to get three hours of sleep at a time on a good night and half the time only got that because of a potion.

Draco knew Potter was an insomniac and had to take a potion from time to time to get to sleep. Draco had been in the hospital wing on more than one occasion when Harry had come in requesting a vial of dreamless sleep from Pomfery. He had heard the Medi-witch warn Potter to use it sparingly because she wouldn�t give him more because he had been taking it too often.

Draco had never heard her warn anyone else about that potion, he didn�t think it would have been necessary to do so. After all one had to take it nearly every night for weeks before it started to build up in one�s system. That begged the question, just how much of the potion had Potter consumed to earn such a warning?

Draco heard a ripping noise and glanced back at Potter who had just finished writing in his journal and tore out two pages from it. Harry began to write on one of the torn pages. He looked much more serious writing this then he had writing in his journal. In fact he looked a bit sad.

Draco was used to seeing Harry sad these days and he really couldn�t blame him. Potter had lost three of his best friends and the Weasley girl had been treating him with the type of contempt that she had formerly only reserved for Draco himself. But this was different, this wasn�t the lonely sadness Draco had seen previously this was a kind of resigned sadness. It was like he had excepted some horrible truth. What could Potter possibly be writing that would cause such a look?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Dec. 25 1997 10:56pm
Happy Christmas. Ha I made a joke and people think I have no since of humor anymore. It�s still too quiet even more so now that the castle is nearly empty. I could have gone to the burrow, Mrs. Weasley invited me but I couldn�t handle it.

I couldn�t look at the empty space where Ron would have sat or the barely concealed hatred Ginny has for me now. She hates me for not saving Ron and for not being able to �comfort her� because I�m gay. I guess I�m lucky that none of the other Weasley�s feel like she does but I still couldn�t go. I couldn�t bare the sad and understanding looks from Mr. Weasley or the twins overly cheery attitudes as they try to distract their mother from the fact that she is now two children short.

Percy is still in Azkaban and I don�t think he�ll be getting out anytime soon, apparently the wizarding world looks down upon treason. Especially when the information you leak gets three of their top aurors killed.

Losing Kingsley, Tonks and Moody hurt the order badly during the war. I went to see the plaque commemorating their years of loyal service at the Ministry with Remus before school started. It�s a nice plaque I guess. Remus cried when he ran his fingers over Tonks� name they were engaged when she was killed.

I got a letter and a book from him for Christmas they were nice. He said he was sorry for not being able to come see me but I understand. Why would you want to come see the boy that was the reason all of you friends had to die? I hope he liked the jumpers I got him I know he doesn�t buy clothes for himself often.

I hope the dreamless sleep kicks in soon it�s been taking longer than it used to. Madam Pomfrey said that would happen if I took it too often. She also said taking too much would stop it working all together or worse (in her opinion) I would slip into a coma from an overdose. That�s why she stopped giving it to me but I�ve been able to brew dreamless sleep blindfolded since fifth year so it�s not a problem getting it.

Snape might be proud of my skills if he ever took the time to speak to me. He�s become so quiet, too quiet, it�s not right. Mrs. Malfoy is still unconscious and the healers and Snape are no closer to finding a cure. Snape and Draco went to visit her today. I know because I heard Snape speaking to Dumbledore about a portkey a few days ago. I hope she gets better Draco looks so down.

I just wish he would get pissed off and snap at me like he used to. I wish Snape would snarl at me and deduct points. I wish my friends were still alive. I wish I had died with Voldemort. And I wish this fucking potion would work already! I�m going to go take more and take a walk so goodbye for now.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Draco had gone back to his book but was still finding it difficult to read, it was impossible to concentrate with Potter so close and so quiet. Draco glanced up again, Potter had finished his writing and was folding the pages. He tucked them in an inner robe pocket and looked up catching Draco�s eye. Draco ducked his head and pretended to read again hoping that Potter wouldn�t have noticed him staring. Unfortunately Draco had never been overly lucky.

�Studying for the transfiguration test?�

Draco looked up at Potter who was now standing in front of him. �Y-yes, McGonagall made it quite clear it would be worth a good percentage of our semester grade.�

Harry nodded �Yeah but it�s never as bad as she makes it out to be I wouldn�t worry too much about it especially with your grades.� Harry smiled lightly.

Draco flushed, was Potter complimenting him? �Um thanks I guess.� he muttered.

Harry chuckled then spotted the copy of the Profit Blaise had left behind. �I see I�m on the cover again.� Harry sighed. Draco glanced at the paper and nodded.

�You�d think people would get tired of seeing my face every week.�

Draco snorted �They might if they got a look at it lately.�

Harry blinked in confusion then he nodded in comprehension running his fingers under one eye. �Right I forgot about those.� he chuckled softly.

�Not been sleeping well Potter?� Draco wasn�t sure what possessed him to ask it really wasn�t his business but he was curious.

Harry nodded �Yeah but it won�t be a problem for much longer.� he answered vaguely. Draco frowned, what did he mean by that? Harry was still looking at the paper.

��Savior of The Wizarding World�. Hmm I don�t know about savior?� he said running his fingers over the headline.

�Seem appropriate to me.�

Harry stared at him �How so?�

Draco fidgeted he wasn�t used to having this much of Potter attention without a wand trained on him. �Well savior means a person who saves people from danger and destruction that seems like an accurate description of what you did.�

Harry frowned slightly �It also means Messiah or salvation or liberator.� he narrowed his eyes at the paper.

Draco was beginning to feel uneasy at Harry�s quite serious tone.

�Don�t they realize that we are only truly liberated, truly free when we�re dead.�

Draco was really starting to get frightened with the way this conversation was going.

�Of course if I look at it that way that would have made Voldemort a savior, a liberator. Too bad he missed a few.� Harry was still talking in that soft serious tone, still looking at the paper.

Draco found the courage to speak again. �Wh-who do you mean?�

Harry looked at him and smiled sadly then looked back down at his picture in the paper. �No one important.� he said quietly.

Harry looked up at him again. �Well I should get going I have a letter to send.� Harry started to walk away but hesitated. He spoke again though his back was turned to Draco so he couldn�t see his face when he spoke. �I just want you to know I�m sorry for the way I�ve treated you over the years I know you deserved most of it but there was still a lot of things I did or said that were uncalled for. I�m sorry for judging you before I knew you because I now know that we might have made good friends and I�m sorry my quick judgement prevented that. I also want to say that I hope your mother gets better soon I know how much she means to you.� Harry turned slightly to give him a slight smile his eyes were just a little too bight. �Don�t study to hard okay Draco. See you.� and with a small wave he walked away leaving Draco speechless.

Harry had apologized, had admitted he was wrong and admitted, however vaguely, that he had wanted to be Draco�s friend. But something about that little speech was off, it was so resigned so...final. Draco looked at the table were Harry had been sitting and he noticed the book Harry had been writing in. Looking around and seeing no one Draco stood up and went over to pick it up.

Opening the front cover Draco found that it was indeed a journal as he had suspected. He really should find Potter and give it back. Draco looked around again, on the other hand this was the only chance Draco would probably ever have to see what Harry had been writing. Draco flipped to the last entry, dated today.
Jan. 29 1998 3:46pm
Well this is the day. It�s the perfect day for it really the weather seems to be reflecting my feelings, bleak no hope of any warmth or light. Wow I�ve become poetic. I don�t know why I�m writing in here now there�s no real point. I guess I�m just a creature of habit.

Draco is sitting across from me, he�s staring, not openly but he is. It may have to do with the circles under my eyes I didn�t cast the glamor today I didn�t see the point. They�ve gotten worse over the last couple of weeks because the dreamless sleep finally stopped working.

I expected as much considering I was taking nearly five times the recommenced dosage each night for about a week before I just stopped sleeping. If I was planning on living for much longer I might worry about the consequences that taking that much potion might do to me. But since I won�t be among the living much longer I don�t really care. Maybe St. Mungo�s can use me as a research subject I don�t mind. I�m sure my brain would be interesting, after all visions that cause unbearable migraines and bleeding scars must have done something to it.

I only have two things to do before I take that flying leap off the astronomy tower Draco has been asking me to do for years. Well not lately but better late then never right? I need to write my Will which I�ve be composing mentally for weeks. I would have written a rough draft but it just wouldn�t do to have something like that found would it?

And I need to write the all important �note�. I really don�t want to write it but I know I need to so no one blames themselves. But really what am I supposed to write? Sorry I flung myself off the tower?

Or maybe sorry Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon for being a freak and ruining your normal lives. Sorry Professor Snape for annoying you by looking like my father and for making you risk your life to save me countless times because I really am as big an idiot as you always said I was. Sorry Molly for you having to waste your time loving and caring for the boy who would eventually cost your son his life. Sorry Arthur for the same reason and for nearly costing you your job in second year. Sorry Ginny for not being the hero you wanted me to be and for being gay.

Remus sorry that my birth cost the lives of all your closest friends and that you were forced to try to care about me when you shouldn�t have wasted your energy because I wasn�t worth it. Sorry Professor McGonagall for costing Gryffindor so many points over the years because even though people accused Professor Snape of being unfair to me he was only making up for what I shouldn�t have gotten away with. Sorry Headmaster Dumbledore for not being a strong enough weapon and for making your job difficult by breaking so many rules. Sorry Draco for refusing your friendship before I ever really got to know you and for ridiculing you about your father whom you could do nothing about.

Sorry to the whole wizarding world for being scared, useless and weak and not stopping Voldemort sooner and costing so many people their lives. Sorry that my continued existence was a constant reminder that all the horrifying sins of the past were real and that if I had just died with Tom you wouldn�t have had to be reminded of them daily.

Somehow I don�t think that would make anyone feel better even if it�s true. But I�ll think of something and I�ll make sure to thank everyone for the love and kindness they wasted on me. I�m just glad it will all be over soon no more pain, on more loneliness ,no more quiet.

Well I should get started on my note and will I want to do this before it gets dark or starts to rain, that would just make it harder for whoever is stuck moving my body. I hope it�s not Hagrid I know that would make him sad and I hate seeing Hagrid sad. Well I guess this is goodbye.

Harry J. Potter
�Oh Gods I�ve got to stop him.� Draco slammed the book shut and ran out of the library. �What do I do I�ll never make it in time!� Draco thought frantically. �Wait!� He thought �Dobby!� yelled Draco as he continued running. The little elf popped up and realized quickly that Draco wasn�t going to stop so he popped a few meters ahead of him. �Yes Master Draco Sir?� Draco ran past but yelled. �Go find as many Professors as you can Harry Potter is about to jump of the Astronomy Tower!� Doddy�s eyes bulged but he popped away immediately.

Draco turned a corner and started to sprint up another fight of stairs Harry�s journal held like a shield against his chest. �Gods please let me make it!�
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dear Headmaster,
The first thing I would like to say is forgive me for leaving the burden of this letter on your shoulders but you were the only one I trusted to make sure all who need to read it did. I�m sure Professor Snape would have as well, or at the very least have given it to you to do so but I didn�t want Hedwig to interrupt his research.

I would like to thank you for all of the comfort, advise and understanding you gave me over the years. I know you tried to protect me over the years and some of the things you did to do so backfired but I want you to know that I know they were all done with my best interests in mind and I forgive you. Even the wisest of men make mistakes some times. I always thought of you as a mentor and privately as a bit of a Grandfather I want you to know that I loved you Sir.

To Remus let me say thank you for being there for me. Thank you for setting aside your own grief to help me through mine I�m so sorry you were forced to do that but I am so thankful to you for it. You became the guidance I needed so badly after we lost Sirius and no words can express my gratitude to you. I am so sorry that my foolishness, stubbornness and mere existence cost you so very much. Please do not grieve for me though because this is what I wanted and I will finally be with my parents, Sirius and my friends again and I can think of nothing better than that. Goodbye Remus I loved you dearly.

To Mr. And Mrs. Weasley thank you for taking me into your home and showing me what it meant to be part of a true family you have no idea how much that meant to me I am eternally grateful.
To Fred and George thank you for making me smile and being my big brothers. Please never stop smiling.

To Ginny I�m sorry I couldn�t be what you wanted me to be, I tried but in the end I just couldn�t be � The Harry Potter� I could only be Harry, just Harry.

To all of the Weasley�s forgive me for not being able to save Ron he was my best friend and not a day has gone by that my heart hasn�t ached from the loss of him. I loved you all in your own way.

To the Granger�s I am so very sorry that I could not protect your daughter. She truly was the smartest witch of her age and in losing her the wizarding world lost a great asset. She was always there for me and I will always miss her.

To Hagrid thank you for being my first friend, for giving me my first birthday cake and for always believing in me even when no one else did, even me. You are the kindest soul I have every met and I hope you live a long and happy life. I loved you like family.

To Seamus and Dean thank you for remaining my friends all these years I know I didn�t make it easy on you these last few months but it meant a lot to me that you tried.

To Draco I�m sorry I rejected you, you have no idea how many times I�ve thought about what would have happened if I had taken your hand. Would we have been friends, would we have been more? We will never know and for that I am truly sorry. It is one of my deepest hopes that your mother recovers and that you and she live long and happy lives.

To Professor McGonagall thank you for my first broom and for being there for me when I needed it and for being tough on me when it was required. I want you to know I thought of you like a dear Aunt and though I never said it I did love you.

To Professor Snape, I bet you thought I�d forgotten you, not a chance Sir. I want to thank you for the risks you took to protect and train me over the years it was more than anyone could have ever asked of you and I would never be able to find enough words to thank you for it. I would also like to say I�m sorry for making your life so difficult with my �incessant rule breaking� and �impertinence� I want you to know that I didn�t do it just to spite you. Well most of it anyway. You are a great wizard and a great man and you deserved so much more respect then I gave you, I am sorry. I hope that your life is a long and happy one, but as long as you continue teaching �ungrateful brats� I doubt it will be. I have two great regrets when it comes to you Sir and those are, that I so throughly disrespected you so many times over the years and that I never once got to see you smile, truly smile. If you could grant me one request Sir, though I do not deserve it, please try to smile more please try to find the happiness you deserve. You will always have my gratitude and my respect.

To all of you may you all have long full lives filled with happiness and love. I cared for you all in my own way though I may not have shown it. Forgive me for not being strong enough to save those we lost and for not being strong enough to bare the guilt any longer, not strong enough to stand the quiet. Goodbye my friends, my family and all of you who touched my life so deeply. I will always be with you in spirit.
Yours Always,

Harry J. Potter

PS: If my fall causes any damage in the astronomy tower or grounds please tell Mr. Filch I�m sorry.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
�Oh Albus why would he do such a thing.� sobbed Minerva McGonagall.

Dumbledore sighed sadly and gazed down at the still figure lying in the hospital bed. �His motivations were not entirely clear in his letter Minerva but I may have overlooked something as I had little time to read it before Severus and I were running to try to add in his rescue. Severus have you found anything in it?� Albus looked to the deathly pale and slightly shaking figure of his potions master. Snape didn�t move.

�Severus?�

Snape started at the slightly sharper tone. �Yes Headmaster?�

�Have you discovered Harry�s reasoning for jumping in the letter?�

Snape looked down at the letter in his hand again. �H-he appeared to believe that he was responsible for the deaths of all those lost in the war and particularly his friends. He seemed to think that his very existence caused most of them. He remarked that he could no longer stand the guilt or loneliness it brought him.� Severus swallowed

�Albus he...he said he sent this to you so that he would not disturb me, he said he did not want his owl to interrupt my research.� He looked over to Harry�s still form. �Have I been so cold to him, so cruel over the years that he would believe that I wouldn�t wish to take time away from some bloody potion to read his last words?� Snape�s voice was choked as he asked this, his face pained and drawn.

Albus rested a comforting hand on his shoulder �No my boy I don�t believe that is what Harry was thinking, he just knew how very important some of your research is and how much damage can be done when a project is interrupted. I�m sure he simply didn�t wish to inconvenience you.�

�Inconvenience me?� Snape said in a dangerously quite tone. �Inconvenience me?! I would gladly have lost years worth of research to prevent this! I would have given up my entire lab if he had come to me first and told me he was feeling this way!� Snape roared waving the letter. �I-I can�t believe he thought I would care more about my potions then his life!� Severus was shaking again.

�Please try to calm yourself Severus or I�ll have to give you a calming drought like did Mr. Malfoy.� said Poppy briskly.

That seemed to remind everyone in the room that Draco was still there. Draco was sitting on the bed nearest to Harry�s his face paler than normal, his eyes rimmed red and tears still running down his cheeks, his eyes never leaving Harry. In his arms he still clutched the worn journal.

Minerva walked over and set next to him. She put a comforting hand on his back and began rubbing it in soothing circles. �I would ask if you were alright but I know that you aren�t. You were very smart to send Dobby to get Poppy and myself but I must ask how did you know what Harry was planning to do?� she asked softly.

Draco continued to stare at Harry watching his chest rise and fall with each labored shallow breath thanking the Gods each time it did so. After a moment he answered. �H-he t-talked to me before he... before he left. He was nice to me b..but something about the conversation was off. H-he said things that I never thought he would ever s-say to me. Wh..when he left I noticed he left his journal. I...I know I shouldn�t h-have read it but he looked so strange while he was writing in it so I opened it and read the last page. H-he s-said he w-was go-going to go ju-jump off the t-t-tow-wer l-l-like I a-always t-t-told him t-t-to.� Draco broke down sobbing McGonagall pulled the boy close and held him while he sobbed.

�I-I n-never w-w-wanted h-him to re-really d-do th-that.� sobbed Draco brokenly.

�Oh of course not child, few people truly mean those things when they say them. We say all sorts of cruel things in anger that we don�t truly mean. I can�t tell you the number of times I�ve told people to go jump in the lake when I didn�t mean it. I know you didn�t want this to happen and you did everything you could to help.� assured McGonagall.

�Yes Draco without the spell you cast I�m not sure the slowing and cushioning charms Professor Snape and I cast would have been enough.� remarked Dumbledore.

�I�m afraid they still might not have been enough Albus the readings I�m getting are not good.� Said Poppy sadly.

Draco looked up alarmed and Snape finally lost the battle with his shaky legs and sat heavily on the end of the bed across from Harry�s.

�What do you mean Poppy?� asked Albus softly.

Poppy sighed heavily �He�s broken nearly every bone in his body. He has eternal bleeding and hemorrhaging. He punctured both lungs and torn arteries and he has swelling of the brain. I�ve giving him as many potions as I dare and have repaired as much as possible. The doctor I called from St. Mungo�s has already been and gone because there is no more he can do either. Harry is on magical life support. Frankly it�s a miracle he�s alive at all and if he makes it through the night I will be surprised.� said Poppy gravely.

Snape buried his face in his hands, Albus� eyes dimmed and lost all traces of their twinkle, and Minerva began to sob quietly.

�He�ll pull through.�

Everyone turned to look at Draco who had spoken.

He looked up at them the tears finally gone from his eyes. �He�ll make it. He has to, he�s �The-Boy-Who-Lived� the boy who always lives. The boy who has more luck then all the people of Ireland put together. He�ll pull through, I know it.� he said softly but determinedly.

�Draco..� started Severus.

�NO! He will make it!� shouted Draco eyes shining.

No one could bare to dispute him and really no one wanted to. All they could do was pray he was right.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I Harry James Potter being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath all of my worldly possessions to the following parties.
To Remus Lupin I leave twenty five percent of the gold in the Black Family vaults. The Potter property of Grodric�s Hallow. Any personal effects of my parents and myself, from their vault and mine or from my trunk. Any of Sirius� personal effects from Grimauld Place or the Black vault. I also leave you my father�s invisibility cloak, The Marauder�s Map and my photo album, with my love.
To Severus Snape I leave fifteen percent of the gold in the Black Family vaults in the hopes that you will be able to use some of the money to help find a cure for Narcissa Malfoy, with my blessings.

To Andromeda Tonks I leave thirty percent of the gold in the Black Family vaults and half of all the Black Family properties, excluding Grimauld Place, and half of all miscellaneous items remaining in the Black vaults after Remus Lupin has acquired the personal effects of Sirius Black he wishes to keep.
To Narcissa Malfoy I leave thirty percent of the gold in the Black Family vaults and half of all the Black Family properties, excluding Grimauld Place, and half of all miscellaneous items remaining in the Black vaults after Remus Lupin has acquired the personal effects of Sirius Black he wishes to keep. If in the event that she passes on or is deemed incurable , Gods forbid, all I leave is to go to her son Draco Malfoy.
To Draco Malfoy I leave my Firebolt as I believe you would get the most enjoyment from it. In addition I leave you the books I�ve collected over the years there are several I believe you would enjoy as I know you like reading. I also give you my deepest apologies for refusing your hand in first year before truly getting to know you. I have learned that first impressions are not always acuate. I also give you my prayers that your mother recovers. Never stop fighting Draco.
To Arthur and Molly Weasley I leave one half of the contents of the Potter Family vault, excluding any personal effects Remus Lupin wishes to keep. I also leave them all the Potter properties, excluding Grodric�s Hallow, with my deepest sympathy and gratitude.
To Petunia Evans Dursley I leave the equivalent of one hundred and fifty thousand pounds from my personal vault. None of which may be used by, on or given to Vernon Dursley and may only be used on Dudley Dursley for medical reasons or schooling.
To the Weasley Twins I leave my third of Weasley�s Wizarding Weezes as well as ten percent of the gold in the Potter Family vault, may your jokes bring smiles to the faces of young witches and wizards for years to come.
To Hagrid I leave my owl Hedwig I know you will treat her well. I also leave you five percent of the gold in the Potter Family vault to do with as you wish and to help care for Hedwig and any other pets you acquire in your lifetime, if only everyone could be as cared for as your pets.
To Albus Dumbledore I leave the remaining contents of the Potter Family vault and my personal vault to be used as a fund for your less financially secure students at Hogwarts. I also leave you Grimauld Place to do with as you wish, with my apologies.
With my Blessings,

Harry James Potter
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Draco wiped a tear from his eye as he finished reading the document.

�What are you reading?�

�Your will you prat.� snapped Draco glaring at the boy laying in the hospital bed.

Harry huffed and crossed his arms over his chest then winced as it shot pain through his still mending lungs and ribs. �Ouch! Bloody hell that hurts!� he grumbled.

�It serves you right you thick headed git! How on earth you got it in your tiny mind that everyone would be happier without you is beyond my abilities of comprehension!� snarled the blonde.

�Wow you must be really pissed today your using big words.� grinned Harry.

Draco stood and made a noise the was alarmingly close to a growl and clenched his fists. �If you weren�t still in intensive care I would smack you. Why on earth do I come see you everyday?�

Harry fluttered his lashes �Because you love me?� asked Harry innocently.

Draco narrowed his eyes. �Don�t push your luck Potter I think you�re about at your limit.� he said crossing his arms and turning away.

Harry pouted �I was just kidding Draco please don�t leave you know I look forward to your visits.�

Draco sighed dramatically but set back down.

Harry smiled �Thank you.�

�Yes, yes your welcome Potter.� Draco said as he picked the Will up and placed it back into Harry�s journal where he had gotten it.
Harry watch him set the journal back down softly, almost reverently.

�You�ve been reading it again haven�t you.� he stated.

�Yes.� was the nearly whispered response.

�Why? Why do you keep reading through it when you know how much it upsets you?�

�Because!� Snapped Draco

�Because why!? What could possibly be in there that you don�t already know, what are you hoping to find?� Harry shouted, they had, had this argument before and he had never gotten a straight answer from Draco. This time he was going to get his answer one way or another. �What Draco?!�

�A way I could have stopped you!� screamed Draco, his voice cracked. �I�ve read every page, every word in this thing I�ve thought over every encounter we had, every conversation leading up to that day just looking for a hint. Just a little hint one tiny clue I could have picked up on to know how you felt. To have find out how truly hopeless and guilty you felt so I could have tried to help so you wouldn�t have-have...� Draco broke off and looked away he wrapped his arms around himself and was shaking almost uncontrollably.

Harry sat in shock for a moment unable to believe how deeply his suicide attempt had effected Draco. He came back to himself when he heard the gasping breaths Draco was taking while trying to calm himself. Harry reached over and placed a hand on Draco�s knee it was the only thing he could reach from his bed and even that had been a strain.

�Draco you couldn�t have done anything. Despite what some people think I�m pretty good at hiding my feelings when I want to. There�s no way you could have known. I mean think about it, if the Headmaster and Professor Snape couldn�t pick up on it how could you have been expected to?� Draco sniffed loudly but he was at least looking at Harry now.

�I�m sorry you had to see it happen but I�m also glad. If you hadn�t gotten there so soon, if you hadn�t thought to call Dobby to alert Madam Pomfrey even with the Headmaster�s and Professor Snape�s spell I would have died that day. You saved my life Draco and I can�t think of enough words to thank you for that, for giving me the chance to find out just how wrong about everything I was.� Harry rubbed circles on Draco�s knee with his thumb until Draco covered his hand with one of his own.

�I know, I...I just wish it had never come to that, to this. I wish I could go back to the beginning of the year and offer you my friendship. Maybe if I had you would have confided in me and all this could have been avoided.� said Draco brokenly.

�Maybe, or maybe I would have pushed you away just like I did everyone else this year. Maybe I would have made it a point to avoid you and I wouldn�t have sat near you in the library that day and by doing so kept you from reading my journal and helping to save me. We�ll never know but that�s not what�s important now. What is important is that we�re friends now and I�m going to get better.�

�And never try such an idiotic thing again.� growled Snape who had just walked in.

Harry grinned �Good afternoon to you too Sir.�

Snape narrowed his eyes �Potter what have you done that has gotten my Godson in such a state? And Draco why have you allowed Mr. Potter to hang half way out of his bed straining his already weak body?� Harry was about to answer when Draco stood quickly and began trying to help him back onto the bed.

�Harry why did you do something so stupid you could have hurt yourself? What would have happened if you fell? Gods you might have re-injured yourself or suffered a relapse. Did you re-injured yourself? Should I call Madam Pomfrey? Do you hurt anywhere? Where is that pain potion she left?� Draco was frantically rearranging Harry, fluffing his pillows and looking for the potion all at the same time.

�Gods why wasn�t I paying attention? If I�ve allowed you to hurt yourself Poppy will kill me. Where is that potion?!�

�Draco!� snapped Harry, causing the blonde to stop and look at him. Harry grab one of his hands and spoke carefully. �I�m fine, really. If I�d hurt myself I would have told you. I may have strained my side a bit reaching over but it really doesn�t hurt now that I�m sitting back again so I don�t need the potion. Now calm down, Professor Snape was just taking a piss at you.�

Draco visibly calmed at Harry�s words then turned to glare at his Godfather. �That was uncalled for Severus you had me worried and I think I�ve had enough stress over the weeks as it is.�

Snape had the decency to look mildly ashamed. �I apologize, but Mr. Potter you really shouldn�t be hanging out of bed like that. If it had been Poppy who saw you instead of myself she likely would have strapped you down and sent Draco away.�

Harry grimaced �You�re right, sorry. So how is Mrs. Malfoy doing today?� Draco perked up at the question.

�She�s doing well she was awake for almost an hour today.� said Draco excitedly.

�Really? That�s great! So I take it that new potion of yours is doing it�s job?� Harry asked Snape.

�Yes, it�s working even better than I�d hoped. Her Healers and I believe that with continued treatment she may be back to near perfect heath by next Christmas.� said Snape with a small smile, one that Harry had gotten to know well over the past few weeks and quite liked.

�I�m glad.� he said softly.

Snape got a somber look on his face �I would like to thank you for the money you provided to help with my research. If it wasn�t for that and Lupin�s willingness to help teach my lower year classes it would have taken me months to find a plausible cure.�

Harry smiled �I was happy to.� Then he got a mischievous look �Besides I had ulterior motives.�

Snape raised an eyebrow �Such as?�

Harry grinned �Well I got to help my friend�s mum and make him happy. I got Remus a job at Hogwarts again so I can see him nearly every day. And most importantly I finally got you to smile.�

Severus looked at him for a moment then chuckled �You would have never made it in Slytherin Mr. Potter. You give far to much to receive so little in return.�

Harry just smiled �The most important things in life can�t be bought Sir.�

Snape nodded �Too true Mr. Potter, too true. Well I came to see if you had survived yet another day and as it seems you have I must go see what your pet werewolf has done to my classroom today.� Harry and Draco laughed.

�Goodbye Severus.�

�Bye Professor thanks for coming to see me again.�

�Not at all. I shall inform the wolf that you are awake this afternoon so that he my come see you.�

�Thanks Sir I haven�t seen much of him considering he�s be here as long as me.� Harry frowned �How long have I been here again Draco?�

�Four weeks, six day, thirteen hours and...� Draco looked down at his watch � twenty seven minutes. Now stop asking that.� said Draco in a very put out tone.

Harry grinned �But you�re so accurate. It�s fun to ask.�

Snape snorted and nodded a goodbye before walking out of the wing.

Draco glared at Snape�s back and Harry chuckled which made Draco turn his glare on him. Harry only smiled wider.

�You�re a prat you know that? A lucky prat but still a prat.�

Harry grinned �Yeah I know.�

Draco�s face became somber again �You do realize how truly lucky you were that day don�t you?�

Harry looked down at the crisp white sheet covering his lap and nodded. �Yeah I do.� he said quietly.

He really did know how phenomenally lucky , or unlucky depending on who you asked, he had been that windy day in January.

The Gods had been smiling, or frowning, again depending on who you asked, on Harry Potter that day. They had seen fit to make him forget his journal and have Draco find it so he could get help but they also had made it so the Headmaster and Snape had been on the grounds that day.

The weather, aside from being a bit grey and windy, had been warmer than usual and had drawn a few souls out doors. It was by an extreme stroke of luck that one of those souls was none other than the reclusive Potions Master of Hogwarts. It was also by a profound stroke of luck that the garden favored by Professor Snape was not far from the astronomy tower. It was a small secluded garden with very few flowers but overflowing with greenery and very rarely visited by the castle�s other occupants in other words it was just to the Professor�s tastes.

It was in that garden that Albus Dumbledore found him after gathering from the portraits and other sources that his potions master was no longer in the castle. Albus had been in his office thinking about how withdrawn his favorite student had been lately and had thought to ask Severus� opinion on the matter.

So The Headmaster had made his way to Snape�s favorite place on the grounds and had drawn hin into a discussion about one Harry Potter.

They had both agreed something was off with the boy and were discussing what to do about it when Hedwig had landed next to them on the bench on which they were seated. Albus had taken the letter and scanned it quickly before shouting at Severus to follow him. They had taken off on a dead run and had rounded the side of the astronomy tower just in time to hear Draco�s heart piercing scream and see Harry�s falling body.

Quick spells had slowed him and cushioned his landing but the impact had still been devastating and had it not been for the arrival of Madam Pomfrey only a moment after the fall Harry would not have lived. As Draco had said later that day Harry had more luck then all the people of Ireland put together.

Harry looked up at Draco �Thank you.�

Draco blinked �For what?�

�For coming after me, for sending for help....for caring.�

Draco�s eyes became bright �Harry you don�t have to thank me for something I�ve always done.�

Harry looked confused �What?�

Draco smiled softly �You don�t have to thank me for caring because it�s something I�ve always done. Even when we were enemies I cared what happen to you. I may have wanted you angry or humiliated at times but I never enjoyed you being hurt, well not really.� Draco blushed lightly �But I never wanted you to die I never wanted something like this to happen. I�ve always cared. Maybe I should have said so earlier.� Draco looked down at his hands.

Cool fingers tipped up his chin and he was forced to look into overly bright green eyes.

�Thank you.� Harry said softly.

Draco looked back �Your welcome.� he answered just as quietly.

They stared into each others eyes for long moments before beginning to lean in. Neither was sure who instigated it but before either realized what was happening they were kissing. It was soft and slow and full of the pent up emotions they had both be harboring for months possibly years and it seemed to go on forever. And maybe it would have if they hadn�t heard the sound of Remus talking to Poppy just outside the wing doors.

They broke apart and stared at each other. Both blushed then smiled shyly at each other.

Draco smoothed away imaginary wrinkles from his shirt and cleared his throat. �Um I-I should probably go get ready for my afternoon classes.�

�Yeah, you don�t want to be late for potions after Remus has had the classroom all day.� grinned Harry.

Draco laughed �Yeah.�

They both stared at each other again.

�So..um w-will you be back later?� asked Harry biting his lip.

�Yeah I�ll be back after dinner. It�s a Friday so Madam Pomfrey said I can even stay over night if I like. That is if you want me to?� Draco asked shyly.

�Yeah! Uh I mean, yeah th-that sounds good. It�s too quite here at night by myself.�

Draco smiled �I�ll see you tonight then.�

Harry smiled back �Tonight.�

Draco stood and walked toward the exit saying hello to Remus and Poppy on his way out.

Remus smiled at him then looked over to Harry�s bed and positively beamed �Harry! It�s so good to see you awake and alert for once when I�ve come to see you.�

Harry chuckled �Sorry but I guess I let Draco ware me out talking most days.�

Remus smiled �Oh I understand but it is nice to be able to talk to you.�

�It�s nice to talk to you too Moony. How�s class going by the way?�

Remus rolled his eyes and began to go into everything that had been happening since he had come to help Severus teach. Harry listened contentedly but glanced up to smile one last time at Draco just before he ducked out the door.

Draco returned after dinner just like he said he would and as promised Poppy allowed him to stay in the wing with Harry that night. They had stayed up late talking quietly and had discussed what the kiss had meant to them before deciding it needed to be recreated, several times before Draco had finally succumbed to sleep. Harry laid awake for sometime after that just watching Draco sleep. He watched his eyes move behind his lids and watched the faint rise and fall of his chest and listened to his near silent breaths. And for the first time since he could remember, Harry didn�t think that it was too quite.

~END~
AN: Yay for happy endings! Did some of you think I actually killed him? Ha! Never, I like my happy endings. I did do something I thought I would never do and I let Sirius stay dead but it was really needed in this. Sorry Padfoot. But the way I look at it is that some where down the line in this story�s future they could have found a way to bring him back. No I won�t be making a sequel to do that I�m just telling to continue it in your mind, to imagine what could happen, just to give yourselves some peace of mind. This was pretty centered on Harry and Draco but I did throw in quite a bit of Sev cause you know how I love him. Did you guess the line I thought of to write this? It was �Didn�t you know Malfoy, I�m The Savior of the world, just like Jesus. And You know what happen to Jesus don�t you? He died for our sins.� it popped into my head and bam! I had to write this. I hope you all enjoyed this I know it wasn�t my usually fun and fluff filled fic but I wanted to do something else for once. Please R and R. Love ya!

quite_demented
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