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Verisimilitude	By : MisstressNicole Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 845 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Verisimilitude
- 1
Author: Miss Nikki and 2prettie

Beta: Self beta'd

With a flick of the wrist;

I told myself it wouldn�t come to this but here I am, yet again. All the thoughts in my head seem to revolve around that one phrase. They weren�t even serious when they said it but I can�t get it out of my mind. They were just sick of my whining. However, in truth they don�t know my pain. My life is nothing but pain and it torments me. So, here I am but will it be the last time?

The slice of a knife

I never meant to do it so deep. I was only trying to reach the pain. How was I to know it was that deep? The longer I let it spew the deeper it fell. I'm not even sure if I can reach it anymore. It may just have to lie their forever.

I spill forth life.

Even the thing that holds me to this world looks foul. It feels foul and smells worse. I�ve never felt more alive then in this moment. In all my years, nothing has ever felt this good. Its funny seeing how this should be the most painful.

With the snap of a pen,

I've always said that I wrote it just in case. I know accidents happen but this time I'd be sure. I'd be no accident this time but that note would finally be put to good use. This time the incident will have occurred before the fresh ink dries.

And a shatter of glass;

I can hear the shields falling, they�re breaking. My mind is free; I�m flying. Today is going to last forever. All those bad memories are spilling out but they don�t feel as bad as they used to. Maybe it�s because this is my reality.

I brace myself.

Whatever comes comes. I've prepared myself for the worse. I've always heard the worse has yet to come but I can feel it. My worse is today. It's gonna be a terrible day yet I still feel brilliance in today. Could be I'm brilliant at my worse.

With the impendent of death,

It�s not a reality, just a dream. I�ll wake up and everything will be the same. I�ll live the same day, cry the same tears and hate the same blood. Its coming I know and I shouldn�t rush it. But how can I convince myself that it�s wrong when all it does is comfort me?

And an inevitable silence

The awkwardness doesn't exist. My imagination has once again steered me wrong. I finally feel comfortable in the silence. The serenity envelopes me like a second skin and for once I feel at home. For the first time I feel pleasure and understand bliss.

I shed the veil of emotion.

A face that�s not frowning or smiling is easily mistaken for content. I hide behind a stoic mask, my pain hidden away where the world can�t see. It�s much easier to mould. My mask can later be changed so they can think what they will. While they hide behind their shimmering smiles and purulent frowns, I can be who they want me to be.

My outward show of tranquillity;

With a look of content apathy scrawled upon my face I can't help but to smile inside. My eyes are the only visible smile on my face because my lips refuse to form the curves. It's been so long since I've felt this way that I don't even know how to physically react. Instead, I sit here with serenity as a mere thought.

My inward spectacle of humanity

I�ve talked myself out of it more times then I�ve talked myself in but it�s all inside. A veil hides my human side. The side the can be hurt, loved, and most of all hated. It�s all a joke, I can hear them laughing on the inside at the calm on the outside. Bitter indifference? Selfish pride? I don�t know; I�ll let you decide.

Give voice to trepidation.

Nothing frightens me more than the thought of a pain free life. Pain created me and pain will destroy me. A life without it a pseudo existence and can never truly be considered liking. My fear of peace is drawn into my heart and dwells there.

The depth of one�s demise;

It�s a means to an end. I�ve been buried under so many lies I�ll never find my way out. Not that they�ll know it. It wasn�t their lies. I told myself I was happy. I told myself I�d move on. Not their lies but my own, though I�m sure if asked they�d have been more than happy to supply. I rather like that I dug my own grave and I�m more then happy to lie in it.

Constructs a wall of terror

The mere thought creeps into my mind and I shutter. The thought of achieving true tranquillity shouldn't be frightening. But I can't seem to help the urge I have to jump out of my skin. The crawling returns and blocks me from the very thoughts that disturb my heart.

That only action can destroy.

I finally did it. I broke free from that room of fear they had locked me in. Where they thought, I wouldn�t cause trouble; that I�d stay way. Because of me I�m free, standing on the outside looking in�into a dark room. The walls are gone but so are the lights and the warmth. Is this really what I wanted for myself?

The authenticity of what lies ahead,

The future I fathom can never be genuine. I can anticipate many things but only those allowed time to develop and life can truly satisfy the soul. To have a genuine tomorrow overshadows any agony I foreshadow for the day after next because every day the sun rises but it chooses its days to shine.

Gives strength to not born forth fear

It�s a think of the past. I�ve grown up and I�m wiser. There�s nothing to be afraid of but� Then again, I may be wrong but I do know that I�m not afraid. I�d given that up along with love and hate. So what do I have now? A clear conscience; a free mind; a brighter future.

With these thoughts,

My discovery of optimism flows through my veins and allows me freedom. Freedom from what the moon brings after the sun. Darkness is no longer current but rather yesterday to me. Allowing pain to come and go rather than dwell allows the mind and heart to roam free.

I make myself invincible.

I walk into the light. It�s bright but it�s not hot and it�s welcoming. Behind me are things of the past: fear, silence, emotion, death, humanity. I�m no longer stuck not knowing where to go. I�ve arrive! There�s nothing holding me back and I�m stronger for it. Stronger then all I left behind. Everything will just have to go around me, as through me is not an option. I�m invincible!
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Verisimilitude