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What Draco Malfoy Did On His 29th Birthday	By : stacygalore Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 1808 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, nor do I benefit financially from the complete desecration of J.K. Rowling's characters.

Chapter List
- 1-What Draco Malfoy Did On His 29th Birthday
- 1
What Draco Malfoy Did On His 29^th Birthday

Follow Draco Malfoy as he posts updates on his Twitter
account throughout his 29^th Birthday on the 5^th of June,
2009. (Note: These are not real
tweets, obviously. This is not a transcript of the Harry Potter RPG on
Twitter. Paste the URL�s into your
web browser to see accompanying pictures.)

AlphaDraconis

Name: Draco Malfoy

Location: Malfoy
Manor, Wiltshire, UK

Bio: It hurts to be
this beautiful.

Following 11 Followers
9260

Following

MalfoyMILF
LusciousLucius
AstoriaLurvesDraco
AmazingBlaise GMoney DontCallMePans Chosen1 LOLCatsMillieB
GreenieD Tom_Felton R_Pats

AlphaDraconis Fuck you, screeching
albino peacocks, for waking me. Fuck me, for forgetting to cast Muffliato b4
bed.

6:02 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis Going back 2 sleep.

6:03 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis
@AstoriaLurvesDraco Where are you, love? You weren�t in bed
when I woke up. You�re not answering your i-Magimobile. Do you know what today
is?

8:12 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis
@AstoriaLurvesDraco I�m still in bed by the way ; )

8:13 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

Chosen1 @AlphaDraconis @AstoriaLurvesDraco She�s in MY bed, bee-och! Kidding. Happy Birthday, you little ferret.

8:15 AM on June 5th from
wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis @Chosen1 Fuck
you, Potter.

8:16 AM on June 5th from
wizardweb in reply to Chosen1

AlphaDraconis
@AstoriaLurvesDraco Seriously, Astoria. Where the hell are you?

8:16 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

MalfoyMILF @AlphaDraconis Happy Birthday, my
sweet darling boy! Can you come over to our wing of the Manor today for cake? I
got your favourite – devil�s food cake.

8:17 AM on June 5th from
TweeterOwl

AlphaDraconis
@MalfoyMILF Thanks mum. Cake sounds lovely. Have
you seen Astoria this morning? She�s not picking up her i-Magimobile.

8:20 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitext in reply to MalfoyMILF

MalfoyMILF @AlphaDraconis No sweetums, I haven�t.
Perhaps she�s in the bath.

8:25 AM on June 5th from
TweeterOwl in reply to AlphaDraconis

MalfoyMILF @AlphaDraconis By the way, Scorpius is
spending the day with Father and me.

8:26 AM on June 5th from
TweeterOwl in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis Of course. The bath.
*face palm*

8:27 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis I�d just like to say
that I fucking love my wife. Really fucking hard.

9:34 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

DontCallMePans @AlphaDraconis Too much information. Eww.

9:45 AM on June 5th from
wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

Chosen1 @DontCallMePans
@AlphaDraconis My sentiments
exactly, Pans.

9:56 AM on June 5th from
wizardweb in reply to DontCallMePans

AstoriaLurvesDraco
@AlphaDraconis I love you too, sweetheart. Especially your uncanny
ability to make my morning bath the antithesis of clean. ; )

10:01 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitext in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis
@AstoriaLurvesDraco I don�t know what you�re talking about. ; )

10:05 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitext in reply to AstoriaLurvesDraco

LuciousLucius @AlphaDraconis Might I remind you,
son, everyone can see your Tweets, including your employers at the
Ministry?

10:07 AM on June 5th from
AccioTweets

Chosen1
@AstoriaLurvesDraco Your husband @AlphaDraconis is too blond to understand big words like
�antithesis�.

10:09 AM on June 5th from
wizardweb in reply to AstoriaLurvesDraco

DontCallMePans @AlphaDraconis @AstoriaLurvesDraco I
think I just may vomit.

10:15 AM on June 5th from
wizardweb in reply to AstoriaLurvesDraco

AstoriaLurvesDraco @DontCallMePans @AlphaDraconis OK
Pans, but don�t expect me to hold back your hair while you do it. (Ah,
childhood memories . . .)

10:17 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitext in reply to DontCallMePans

AlphaDraconis @Chosen1 Fuck you Potter.

10:21 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitext in reply to Chosen1

AlphaDraconis #FollowFriday @AstoriaLurvesDraco
@MalfoyMILF @LusciousLucius @AmazingBlaise @GMoney @LOLCatsMillieB @GreenieD

11:03 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis Having
a leisurely, al fresco brunch on the terrace with @AstoriaLurvesDraco. We�re drinking Bloody Barons.
http://twitpic.com/6o7g6

11:05 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis
Oh god, the things you can do with
strawberries and whipped cream!

11:20 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis
Did I mention I fucking love my
wife?

11:22 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

MalfoyMILF @AlphaDraconis Sweetums, I know I live
on the opposite end of the Manor, but I would appreciate a warning notice next
time you and Astoria decide to use the terrace that way.

11:23 AM on June 5th from
TweeterOwl

LOLCatsMillie @AlphaDraconis I know! Strawberry
shortcake, strawberry ladyfingers, strawberry cobbler. They�re so versatile.

11:37 AM on June 5th from
AccioTweets in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis @LOLCatsMillie Millicent, you should know after all these years that I do not bake.

11:59 AM on June 5th from
i-Magitexts in reply to LOLCatsMillie

AlphaDraconis
Shopping in Paris with @AstoriaLurvesDraco. Nothing like spending an obscene amount of money
to celebrate one�s birthday.

1:22 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis
For the record, my hairline is not
receding.

1:39 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

Chosen1 @AlphaDraconis No, your forehead is
advancing.

1:45 PM on June 5th from
wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis
@Chosen1 Fuck you Potter.

1:49 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext in reply to Chosen1

AlphaDraconis
Astoria picked out this shirt for
me. I think it�s god awful. What do you think?

http://twitpic.com/6oc6y

1:50 PM on June 5th from
i-Magimobile Tweetdeck

GMoney @AlphaDraconis You
look great in everything, mate.
Birthday drinks tonight?

1:51 PM on June 5th from
NitTwit in reply to AlphaDraconis

AmazingBlaise @AlphaDraconis Rule of thumb: Never let your wife pick your clothes. Especially when she�s a Greengrass.

1:52 PM on June 5th from
wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

GreenieD @AmazingBlaise @AlphaDraconis Hey! I saw that! :(

1:54 PM on June 5th from
TweeterOwl in reply to AmazingBlaise

AlphaDraconis
@AmazingBlaise Rule of thumb:
Disputing your wife�s fashion sense will get you nowhere. Humoring your wife
will get you everywhere. And I do mean EVERYWHERE.

1:56 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext in reply to AmazingBlaise

DontCallMePans @AlphaDraconis I wouldn�t be caught dead wearing anything Astoria chose.

2:01 on June 5th from
wizardweb in reply to AstoriaLurvesDraco

AstoriaLurvesDraco @AlphaDraconis @AmazingBlaise
@DontCallMePans I�ll have you know, that�s
from the Dior spring collection. Bold patterns are the new black.

2:05 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AstoriaLurvesDraco @GreenieD It�s a good thing our husbands @AmazingBlaise and @AlphaDraconis are rich.

2:06 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AstoriaLurvesDraco @GreenieD If all @AmazingBlaise
and @AlphaDraconis had

were their good looks, we wouldn�t put up with their
insolent mouths.

2:07 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis @AmazingBlaise Our wives are getting awfully cheeky today.

2:10 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AmazingBlaise @AlphaDraconis Indeed. It�s time to break out the paddle.

2:12 PM on June 5th from
wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

AstoriaLurvesDraco @AlphaDraconis I�ve
been a bad girl and need to be punished.

2:13 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis @AstoriaLurvesDraco Get your sexy little self into this dressing room so
I can punish you with my wand.

2:14 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis Fucking
hell, I love my wife.

2:34 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis This one�s more my style. http://twitpic.com/6oecl

2:35 PM on June 5th from
i-Magimobile Tweetdeck

Chosen1 @AlphaDraconis The
monochromatic look suits your monochromatic personality.

2:46 PM on June 5^th
from wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

Chosen1 @AlphaDraconis Let
me beat you to the punch. �Fuck you Potter�. There. No need to reply now.

2:47 PM on June 5^th
from wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis
@Chosen1 Go fuck yourself
Potter.

2:49 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext in reply to Chosen1

Chosen1 @AlphaDraconis Oooh.
A slight varation. You�re starting to get creative now.

2:55 PM on June 5^th
from wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis
@Chosen1 I could devastate you with a few words, but I just haven�t
got time to waste.

2:58 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext in reply to Chosen1

Chosen1 @AlphaDraconis Devastate? Don�t flatter yourself
Malfoy.

3:03 PM on June 5^th
from wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis
@Chosen1 I don�t need to flatter myself. I have minions to do that for me.

3:08 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext in reply to Chosen1

Chosen1 @AlphaDraconis Your mum, your wife, and Gregory Goyle
hardly constitute a minion.

3:13 PM on June 5^th
from wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis
@Chosen1 I have over 9,000 followers on Twitter and nearly 10,000
friends on Facebook. What do you have, Potter?

3:16 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext in reply to Chosen1

Chosen1 @AlphaDraconis What do I have? Better things to do with
my time than fishing for friends on the Wizarding World Web.

3:19 PM on June 5^th
from wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis
@Chosen1 Like what? Polishing your wand?

3:24 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext in reply to Chosen1

Chosen1 @AlphaDraconis Gotta keep it nice and shiny.

3:25 PM on June 5^th
from wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

AmazingBlaise @AlphaDraconis @Chosen1 Would you two
shut up and just fuck each other already?

3:27 PM on June 5th from
wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis
@AmazingBlaise How �bout I kick your face in?

3:29 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext in reply to AmazingBlaise

AlphaDraconis Got
bored with French couture. Being fitted for a new suit in Milan. But first, a
cappuccino.

4:41 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis Stupid
tailor stuck me with a pin. So I bitch slapped him.

4:54 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

GMoney @AlphaDraconis Do
you need me to beat his arse? Because I can skip out of work and do it. Then we
can have birthday drinks.

4:55 PM on June 5th from
NitTwit in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis
Shopping was a bust. I only
managed to spend 2100 Galleons.

5:24 PM on June 5th from
i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis Dinner
with @MalfoyMILF @LusciousLucius @AstoriaLurvesDraco and Scorpius at Malfoy Manor. Seared mermaid with
pomegranate coulis.

6:02 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

GMoney @AlphaDraconis So
are we meeting for drinks after dinner?

6:05 PM on June 5th from
NitTwit in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis Devil�s
food cake was certainly created using the Dark Arts. Best birthday cake ever.

6:52 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

AstoriaLurvesDraco @AlphaDraconis I concur.
I daresay it is better than sex.

6:54 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis @AstoriaLurvesDraco I�m highly offended.

6:56 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext in reply to AstoriaLurvesDraco

DontCallMePans @AstoriaLurvesDraco @AlphaDraconis
Considering you�re comparing it to Draco, that cake is probably only
mediocre at best.

6:57 PM on June 5^th
from wizardweb in reply to AstoriaLurvesDraco

LusciousLucius @AlphaDraconis @AstoriaLurvesDraco Stop twittering on your i-Magimobile phones under
the dinner table. It�s quite rude.

6:57 PM on June 5^th
from AccioTweets in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis @LusciousLucius I�ll stop when you stop
downloading porn on yours.

6:58 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext in reply to LusciousLucius

AstoriaLurvesDraco @AlphaDraconis Care
to prove me wrong, darling?

7:00 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis @AstoriaLurvesDraco I knew
you were just baiting me.

7:01 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext in reply to AstoriaLurvesDraco

AstoriaLurvesDraco
@AlphaDraconis Of course. Nothing�s better than you.
After you open your presents let�s go to bed.

7:02 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis B-day
presents: Goblin hewn gold watch encrusted with diamonds from @LusciousLucius (a little too ostentatious for my taste).

7:11 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis B-day
presents: Little Scorpius decorated a card for me using feathers he yanked off
the peacocks. No wonder they were screeching so much this morning.

7:12 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis B-day
presents: Subscription to Cake of the Month Club from @MalfoyMILF (because my metabolism is still astonishingly fast
for a 29 year old).

7:17 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis
B-day presents: Bottle of elf-made
cabernet sauvignon from @LOLCatsMillie and @GMoney. Also a bag
of Canabis sativa from Goyle. (I
swear it�s for a medical condition!)

7:24 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis B-day presents: Fruit basket from @AmazingBlaise
and @GreenieD (probably more from Daphne than from Blaise).

7:28 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis B-day
presents: Strip-o-Gram card from @AmazingBlaise (would have been amusing had it not been a naked
man in the picture).

7:30 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis B-day
presents: Floral arrangement of pale yellow roses from @DontCallMePans
(quite lovely but I�m allergic to them and
she damn well knows this).

7:32 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis And my
present from my dear @AstoriaLurvesDraco? I�m about to find out.

7:33 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

GMoney @AlphaDraconis
I see you received your birthday package.
That herb is the best shit from Jamaica. So are we going out for drinks
or what, mate?

7:33 PM on June 5^th
from NitTwit

Chosen1 @AlphaDraconis
Ginny and I sent you some of her homemade raspberry tart. But I guess we�re not important enough
to mention.

7:33 PM on June 5^th
from wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis @Chosen1 I wouldn�t dare put anything in my
mouth that was touched by a Weasley.

7:34 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext in reply to Chosen1

AmazingBlaise @AlphaDraconis Did @Chosen1 ask you to suck him off again?

7:35 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis
I can�t explain Astoria�s birthday
gift in 140 characters.

9:45 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis
Did I mention I love my wife?

9:46 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

DontCallMePans @AlphaDraconis You did. About fifty times today.

9:47 PM on June 5^th
from wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis My wife made it quite apparent that she
really fucking loves me. Oh god,
she loves me so fucking hard!

9:47 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis Bloody
hell. If that�s what @AstoriaLurvesDraco does for my 29^th birthday, what will she
do for my 30^th?

9:48 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

AmazingBlaise @AlphaDraconis Would you tell the world what Astoria did for your birthday already?
You know you like to over-share with your minion of 9000 followers.

9:50 PM on June 5^th
from wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis @AmazingBlaise Astoria would kill me if I told the world. All I can say is that it
involved polyjuice potion.

9:52 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext in reply to AmazingBlaise

AmazingBlaise @AlphaDraconis
Will you at least tell us whose hair was
in the polyjuice potion?

9:53 PM on June 5^th
from wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis @AmazingBlaise Mine

9:54 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext in reply to AmazingBlaise

AmazingBlaise @AlphaDraconis Merlin�s pants! You�re one kinky narcissistic bastard!

9:55 PM on June 5^th
from wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

Chosen1 @AlphaDraconis
Regarding the rude remark about my wife�s cooking, I�d retort with a hearty �go
fuck yourself�, but it seems you�ve already done that.

9:57 PM on June 5^th
from wizardweb in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis Getting dressed to go dancing in London
with @AstoriaLurvesDraco @AmazingBlaise and @GreenieD. My outfit for tonight: http://twitpic.com/6pynp

10:44 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magimobile Tweetdeck

GMoney @AlphaDraconis
Am I not invited? WTF?

10:45 PM on June 5^th
from NitTwit

AlphaDraconis @GMoney Fine. You can come.

10:49 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext in reply to GMoney

AlphaDraconis Anybody
who wants to party with me, we�re going to The Dungeon. Though I doubt you lot are important
enough to get in.

10:50 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis VIP
lounge, bitches! Poppin� bottles
of Crystal like I�m a fucking pimp!

11:21 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis With @AstoriaLurvesDraco
@AmazingBlaise @GreenieD
@DontCallMePans and Theo Nott.

11:22 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

GMoney @AlphaDraconis
I can�t get into the club. Can you
come out and talk to the bouncer?

11:25 PM on June 5^th
from NitTwit

AlphaDraconis I�m so
fucking lit right now. @GMoney
was right – this is some good shit.
Woo!

11:46 PM on June 5^th
from i-Magitext

GMoney @AlphaDraconis
Seriously. Let me in, mate.

11:48 PM on June 5^th
from NitTwit in reply to AlphaDraconis

AlphaDraconis We all
just dropped Ecstasy courtesy of @AmazingBlaise. As if this evening weren�t entertaining enough.

12:03 PM on June 6^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis I
probably shouldn�t mix alcohol, cannabis, and Ecstasy. But I just did. Oh well. . . . .

12:07 PM on June 6^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis OMFG!
I just watched my wife snog my ex girlfriend after they both gave me a lap
dance. Ecstasy FTW!

12:32 PM on June 6^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis Fuck. Potter�s here. Alone. Stalker!

12:46 PM on June 6^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis LOL! @AmazingBlaise and Theodore are dry-humping each other on the
dance floor to �Love Game� by Lady GaGa. @GreenieD is not amused.

1:07 AM on June 6^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis Let�s
have some fun. This beat is sick. I wanna take a ride on your broom stick.

1:08 AM on June 6^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis @Chosen1
Quit staring at me from the bar and come here.

2:06 AM on June 6^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis Pansy
just sicked up in the champagne bucket while Astoria held back her hair. Just like old times.

2:07 AM on June 6^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis I
shouldn�t be tweeting this, but fuck it.
I just snogged Harry Fucking Potter.

2:41 AM on June 6^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis @AstoriaLurvesDraco I got a strand of Potter�s hair. 30^th birthday? ; )

2:43 AM on June 6^th
from i-Magitext

Chosen1 @AlphaDraconis
There�s more if you want. Meet me in the cloak room.

2:45 AM on June 6^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis That
didn�t happen. I�m hallucinating. I didn�t just . . . FUCKING HELL!

3:03 AM on June 6^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis With
Potter, no less. Fucking Hell.

3:04 AM on June 6^th
from i-Magitext

Chosen1 @AlphaDraconis
Come off it, Malfoy. You wanted it. And you liked it. A LOT.

3:06 AM on June 6^th
from i-Magitext

AlphaDraconis In bed
with my wife, as it should be.
Going to sleep. Gnight
tweeps.

4:45 AM on June 6^th
from i-Magitext

AmazingBlaise @AlphaDraconis @AstoriaLurvesDraco
@GreenieD @DontCallMePans @Chosen1 Guess
what? That wasn�t Ecstasy. It was paracetamol. SUCKERS!!!

11:39 AM on June 6^th
from wizardweb
- 1
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What Draco Malfoy Did On His 29th Birthday