Our Last Summer | By : starstruck86 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Ron Views: 3906 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor do I make any money from these writings. |
I’m back
again! This is the third and final instalment to my Ron/Severus story.
Dreams is
the beginning: http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600022736
Adjustment
is the middle: http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600022762
Please bear
in mind that this is again long, and I’ve tried to break the chapters down. Porn
with a plot, but you should know the smut takes a hiatus in the middle due to
the storyline. Also, here’s the slash warning and also please heed the other
warnings in the summary. Also, a disclaimer for the songs used in the Chapter 'Talk Dirty To Me' as clearly they've just been borrowed for the purpose of the fic.
Thanks to Davinci and abbicee for their
reviews which meant an awful lot to me. I hope you don’t mind what I’ve done
with R/S in this last instalment.
***
July had
seamlessly bleached into August. As he lay in the bath, Ron tried to ignore the
feeling of dread which lurked in his stomach. They had until the 31st
before Severus had to pack up his belongings and move back to Hogwarts to
teach. The time seemed to be slipping away from them so fast that Ron had to
keep ignoring the dread in his stomach, or he knew it would engulf him and ruin
those last precious days.
He was
alone in the house at that moment; Severus was at Hogwarts checking on some of
the Potions which required months of brewing. Ron had accompanied him the last
time, but that afternoon he’d elected to stay behind. He closed his eyes and
slid further into the water. In the corner, the old muggle radio he’d found in
the tiny garden shed played out, not many that he knew of course, the music
being muggle, but it was company all the same. He remembered the strange smile
that had crossed Severus’ lips when he’d found it in the tiny garden shed,
dusty and unloved. He had asked what he was smiling at to be told he hadn’t
seen the radio since he was tiny. His father hadn’t let music be played in the
house.
Ron yawned
and sat up, regretting once again the awful childhood his lover had endured. He
knew there was violence, and nothing Severus could have done would have been
good enough. One night when he’d had too much to drink and was in a melancholy
state, Severus had taken Ron by the hand and given him a whistle stop tour of
all the places he could remember being shoved and hit. Although Ron knew that
Severus had loved his mother, he himself couldn’t help but feel twinges of
resentment towards her. How could she let anyone harm her child so badly and
not use the power she had to stop it? She was a witch; she certainly had more
power than Tobias Snape. But yet she didn’t use it, the devastating effects of
that neglect were plain to see as Severus still walked, head down at a fast
pace, past the door to his parents’ old bedroom.
Lost in
thought, Ron jumped when something spattered on his brow. Confused, he looked
up felt his own eyes widen as he saw a patch of red gathering on the ceiling,
dripping down. Some plopped into the water and instantly disappeared. He struggled
to his feet, sending the water rioting up and down the bath in protest. He
raised his hand to where it had landed on his head, but nothing came away on
his fingertips. Alarmed, he dried himself, his eyes never leaving the patch on
the ceiling. He was certain he was alone in the house… and even if Severus was
there, he certainly wouldn’t be in the room above the bathroom, because that
was his parents’ bedroom.
When he was
dressed, eyes still trained to the patch of what he was now fairly convinced was
blood, he walked backwards out into the hallway, hand instinctively groping for
his wand in his jeans pocket. His first thought was to go up, kick the door
open, and hope he didn’t find anything. But Severus had requested specifically
that Ron never went in there. Torn with his brow furrowed, Ron looked back in
to the red patch.
Decidedly,
he turned into the living room and threw a handful of Floo Powder into the
small fire, kept going so Severus could move between his two residences with
ease. As it was summer, the restrictions to the school’s Floo network had been
relaxed, as they always were. Ron knelt down, took a deep breath, and said
“Severus Snape’s Office” as he pushed his face into the green flames.
He coughed
as he stuck his head out into the darker room, and Severus’ head snapped up to
look at him.
“Is
something the matter?” he got to his feet. Ron knew not to contact him when he
was brewing unless it was important.
“I’ve
just…something weird’s just happened in the house. I’m not sure… can you come
back for a second?”
Severus
nodded and without anything further Ron’s face disappeared out of his fire.
Frowning, Severus threw a handful of powder in at his end and stepped in,
stating his address. The living room came into view with Ron standing in the
hallway looking into the bathroom.
“You better
not have called me back here for a fucking spider,” Severus half-threatened.
He stood
behind Ron and followed his gaze up. His stomach dropped.
“Is that
blood?” Ron asked him, before turning and mounting the stairs, face set in grim
determination.
“Ron,
wait-” Severus called, knowing that it was
blood and exactly where it was coming from. But Ron didn’t know… and Severus
could sense where he was headed. The room which hadn’t even had the door opened
in twenty years. “Ron…” He called again, following him, a numb feeling flooding
through his veins.
He heard a
door open and Ron cough, he heard his feet shuffle
across the bare floorboards.
Ron was
faintly surprised at the room. He had always wondered if it was full of
artefacts, storage, maybe a scary dead person… but no. It just had a bed, made
perfectly, drawn curtains, a wardrobe, a dressing table with a mirror over it
and a little stool. It simply smelled old and dusty. He let his eyes scour the
floorboards, but there were no marks, no nothing. He walked to where he knew
the blood had dripped downstairs and knelt down to run his fingertips over it.
Bone dry. It was the spot next to the dresser. With confused eyes, he looked up
at Severus, who had frozen in the doorway.
“Come out
of there,” he said to Ron, eyes glassy.
“But
there’s nothing here, I don’t get it,” Ron stood up, looking dismayed. “You saw
it, right, I’m not going mad?”
“You’re not
going mad,” Severus replied quietly. “But please, get out here and let’s close
the door.”
Ron looked
about him. “What’s going on Severus?”
Severus
shuddered and hugged his arms about his torso. “Can we just close the door
please?”
Seeing the
physical affect the room was having on Severus, even if he didn’t understand it,
made Ron forget his curiosity. He walked to Severus, nudged him back, and
closed the door behind him as he stepped onto the landing again. Severus was
paler than he’d seen him in a long time.
“What’s the
date today?” he asked him in a dull voice, which alarmed Ron further.
“August the
thirteenth,” Ron replied, and put a hand on Severus’ shoulder. “Why?”
“It’s
really August the thirteenth?” Severus asked him, a little desperation creeping
into his tone.
Ron nodded
and frowned, “Yes, it is. Why, what happened on the thirteenth of August?”
“My mum,”
Severus answered in a weak voice. “That was the day she passed away.”
Feeling
insensitive and stupid, Ron kicked himself inwardly. “Oh, Severus, I’m so
sorry. I should never have called you back.”
“You were concerned. Blood just doesn’t drip through ceilings without cause,
normally.” His voice sounded worryingly hollow.
“So the
blood was…” Ron bit his lip.
“Hers, yes.
She killed herself.”
Unable to
keep the distance between them, Ron put his arm around his lover and tried to
embrace him, but Severus was so stiff and unyielding, a horrible contrast to
the closeness he and Ron had continued to adapt since they’d moved in together.
“You don’t
have to do that,” Severus shook his head. “I don’t need pity.”
“It’s not pity,” Ron exclaimed. “There’s a difference between pity and wanting
to comfort someone you care for.”
Severus
looked at him like he’d grown another head, but eventually let his arms fall
loosely by his sides to allow Ron closer to his body. “I forgot,” he whispered,
as he found his lips near Ron’s ear. “I forgot for the first time in twenty
years. I didn’t remember that…”
Ron had a
hand in Severus’ hair, stroking softly. Think
of something clever to say. But Ron didn’t know what would be clever and
what would be making the situation worse, so he kept his mouth shut and
increased the pressure in his hold.
Severus
finally raised his arms and hugged him back, for which Ron was glad. He looked
at the closed door with narrowed eyes, knowing it was silly to blame the door
but at the same time, finding he had nothing else that he could show anger to
for the broken man in his arms. And Severus was broken, Ron had realised that
fully over the past weeks. He knew he was helping the healing process but he
wasn’t a miracle worker, and as Severus became more relaxed about their living
arrangements, what was happening between them, he had begun to let Ron through
the cracks in his façade. What Ron found there had been hard to see.
“It comes
round every year,” Severus finally spoke again. “How could I forget, Ron?”
“You’ve
been busy,” Ron whispered. “And…well. You’ve also been happier this year than I
assume you have for a while… not to make presumptions about my presence, of
course.”
Severus
found himself smiling into the messy damp hair of the younger man, despite how
he was feeling. “I suppose that’s true.”
“Have you
got time to come downstairs and for me to make you a cup of tea? I don’t want
you going straight back to work,” he pulled away and looked at Severus, who
nodded without protest.
With the
kettle on in the clean kitchen, Severus felt less startled. He couldn’t forgive
himself in his mind, but he felt less devastated by it now the bedroom door was
closed and he wasn’t seeing the furniture.
“Do you
want to talk about it?” Ron asked, his back still to
him as he made the tea. “I understand if you don’t though.”
As was
happening more and more often, Severus was bowled over by Ron’s complete
concentration of care. He never pressured Severus into saying a word that he
didn’t want to, he never demanded explanations for things that any other person
would have been clamouring to hear about. He was just so, so gentle and loving.
He turned and handed Severus his red mug, picking up his own before finally
settling in the chair opposite.
“There
isn’t really much to talk about,” Severus replied. That had been the other
change. Instead of automatically deflecting every loving question, he was
starting to open up and tell Ron about more things, even though he knew they
were hard to hear. He knew they were a burden, but it was like someone had
finally unlocked something in his mind and now he couldn’t keep anything in at
all. “But yes. She died on this day twenty years ago, choosing a muggle method
over a magical one. I found her the way you found the blood, seeing it in the
bathroom and running up there, throwing open the door… and already being too
late.”
“I’m sorry,” Ron looked at the table. “I can’t even begin to comprehend how
that felt.”
Severus
mustered a shrug. “It was a long time ago… and even though they’d had an awful
relationship, she had never been the same since my father had died three years
before. It was like she was already gone anyway.”
Ron looked
up at him. Severus knew his mind would be full of sentences trying to form,
trying to find something respectful and comforting to say… but as he’d
expected, he knew Ron was drawing a blank, so when he said nothing, Severus
really and truly understood.
He took a
mouthful of the scalding tea, glad of something to do.
“So where
is she now?” Ron asked quietly. “Is she buried in the churchyard round the
corner with your father?”
“No,”
Severus replied. “I wouldn’t put her next to him for eternity. She deserved to
be far away from him. There’s a wizarding cemetery
over on the coast. I had her buried there instead.”
“Would she
have wanted that?” Ron ran his thumb over the mug’s handle.
“Probably
not,” Severus shrugged. “But I just couldn’t do it. If there was anything still
attached to their bodies… I wasn’t going to let him taint her when I finally
had the age and the power to stop it.”
Ron nodded
to concede his fair point, and drank some tea. “How much more do you have to do
at work?”
“I had just
finished when you put your head through the fire,” Severus half-smiled. “I just
need to tidy up.”
“That can
wait, nothing will spoil,” Ron told him firmly. “I’m not letting you out of my
sight. Let’s… I dunno. Let’s
go for a ride or something?”
“You hate
being in the car,” Severus looked at him.
“But you
love it, and that’s what’s important.”
But I haven’t replaced the sick bags
from last time yet…
“That sounds good.”
Ron had
been right, getting out of the house and onto the nearby motorway had been a
good idea. His window was only open a crack but Severus’ dark hair was being
blown back off his face and the radio was on quietly as he guided the car
expertly through the thickening traffic. The sun was still high enough in the
sky to provide adequate light, but people were starting to leave work and it
always got busy. He flicked down the indicator and glanced into his left mirror
before switching out of the middle lane.
His eyes
caught Ron’s face staring out of the window. “You don’t look as green today,”
Severus teased him.
“Shut up,”
Ron sniffed affectedly. “I’ve never driven a Muggle car properly or really been
in the front seat when they’ve been driven. And you were driving really fast
that day.”
“Like
this?” Severus shoved his foot on the accelerator, sending the car lurching
forward, engine roaring and straining as he checked the mirror again, flicked
the indicator and switched first into the middle lane, tugged the gearstick
into fourth, then roared out into the fast lane where the traffic was simply
shooting along.
“Severus-”
he saw Ron fidget in his seat out of the corner of his eye, saw his hands
tighten on the edges of the old leather. “Please don’t be stupid, you could get
us both hurt.”
“Relax, neither of us are going to get hurt. You fly on a
broom, Ron; it’s far more dangerous than this!” The needle was pushing the
motorway speed limit.
“I know, I
just don’t like that this metal box could crumple around us and we might be
wizards, Severus, but we’ve still got human bodies, and metal trumps flesh…
please slow down,” he begged.
Sighing,
Severus eased off enough to switch lanes, worked down the gears and found
himself at an un-thrilling speed in the left hand lane. He loved driving fast,
it made his stomach flip and it always had since he’d passed his muggle driving
test at the age of eighteen. But it clearly wasn’t Ron’s choice of
exhilaration. As he looked at the passing road sign, he was glad he’d been made
to stop, otherwise he would have missed the junction
he needed. He flicked the indicator on and drove on to the slip road, applying
pressure to the brakes as the road slanted and they trundled towards the
roundabout at the bottom.
“Where are
we going?” Ron asked, sounding back to normal.
“Well I
thought we could drive along to the beach, there’s a car park and it’s pretty
quiet. Nice view.”
“A quiet
car park with a sea view…” Ron mused, and turned to him with a raised eyebrow.
“Are you going to try out being an exhibitionist?”
Severus
laughed and extended his arm to flick in Ron’s direction before returning his hand
to the wheel.
Half an
hour later, they were sat with sand in front of the car all the way to the sea,
which was sliding back and forth on the wetter sand furthest away. Ron had
thrown off his seatbelt as soon as the engine had been turned off and got out
to walk around the car a few times, drinking in the sea air to still his
stomach. Severus remained inside, using his wand for something Ron couldn’t
see. When he’d opened the door again he saw that the front seats had been
merged into one big, long soft leather bench and the gearbox shifted forwards
slightly.
“Severus,”
he got in and shut the door behind him. “If you’re really horny all you have to
do is ask, you don’t have to keep on making all these
subtle changes.”
Severus
rolled his eyes and slid over so he was comfortably next to Ron with his feet
out in front of him instead of being constrained by the steering foot well. Ron
automatically leant his head on the shoulder offered to him, and sighed.
“Very nice
view,” Ron commented, looking out at the sea. “I can’t believe the beach is so
empty.”
“Well it is a Wednesday night,” Severus said. “And people are still leaving
work. It’s always much busier on the weekend.”
Ron made a
noise of agreement and snuck his arm behind Severus’ back. “Do you feel better
now?”
“I still
feel guilty,” Severus replied. “But yes… better now we’re out of the house.”
Ron put his
other hand on Severus’ flat stomach and rubbed softly through his shirt. “Can I
ask you something?”
“Of
course,” Severus ducked his head sideways to place a kiss on the now dry hair.
“Why do you
still live there? Why not sell it and move… it’s not like you don’t have the
money. You could get a place somewhere quiet, secluded.”
It was something Severus had considered many times since his parents had died,
but each time he found some excuse to not follow through his ideas. “I honestly
don’t know… there are a lot of bad memories attached to it. Many people would
have sold if they could. But who would buy it, honestly? It’s miserable.”
“It is
not,” Ron said indignantly. “I’ve worked bloody hard to make it habitable.”
Severus
felt guilty again. Ron had spent every day of the first summer of the rest of
his life working on something in the house, both big and small. He’d sorted out
the garden so it looked less like a jungle. He’d redecorated the hallways and
the living room, upholstered the furniture and removed the carpets for
cleaning, but varnished the floorboards underneath by hand when he found them
in better condition than the carpets.
“No, I know
you have. But you can’t deny it still has a… dark feel to it.”
“It doesn’t
to me, not anymore,” Ron sat up and looked at him. “It feels like home.”
“Then why
would you want to move if it feels like home?” Severus frowned.
“Because it
will never truly be my home whilst
you ghost around it in pain from the memories it holds. You can only change a
décor so many times before you should realise that if it still doesn’t feel
right, it’s not how the house looks which is making you feel that way…”
“I don’t
think I could leave it,” Severus scanned the sea in front of them. “I just… I
don’t like the way it makes me feel or how every corner has a memory attached,
but I’m attached to it in a way I can’t explain.”
Ron rubbed
his hand over his kneecap with a smile. “I get it.”
“Do you?”
Severus asked, not looking at him.
“I do,” Ron shrugged. “It’s like Harry… Grimmauld Place
is bloody awful to live in. But… he’s working on it because it’s the Black
family residence. It’s his tie to Sirius.” He cast a wary glance at Severus to
see how he was taking having his two least favourite people thrown into the
conversation. “And if both my parents were killed tomorrow, Merlin forbid, i’d be drawn to their house in a way which I couldn’t
explain, even if it hurt me to see their things there untouched, their bedroom
empty.”
Severus
looked down to see Ron’s hand, as he had known it would, tenderly touch the
wood of his wand in his pocket as a talisman. He was stupidly superstitious. But
those little idiosyncrasies made Ron himself. Severus protectively smoothed his
hand over Ron’s back and crept his fingers into his
hair.
“Mmm,” Ron breathed, looking out at the sea. “So we’re
staying at Spinner’s End for the time then, yeah?”
Severus nodded
and leaned forward. “For now, yes. Why… do you want to
move or something?”
“No… I just
think that at some point, it’ll be nice to have a new start for the both us,
together.”
“Oh god,
your family would be all over us for housewarming…” Severus breathed.
“I thought
you liked my family now?” Ron asked affrontedly.
Severus
thought on that statement. I do like
them. But not enough to have them in my house partying. “I do.”
Ever since
Severus had accompanied Ron to The Burrow for a Quidditch game with his
brothers, relations hadn’t stopped improving with the Weasley family. They had
been mid-air when Ron got annoyed with Severus for missing an easy catch, and
he’d yelled out telling him that if he couldn’t handle a stick, he could get
back on the ground. In a flash, Severus shot back that he seemed to be handling
Ron’s stick just fine of a night and could he shut his mouth. There had been a
thump where Fred had fallen off his broom, creased up howling with laughter.
Severus had struck a chord with his humour. Ever since then, he’d been getting
on much better with all of them, even Arthur, who was rightfully wary around
him.
“So why
can’t they come and celebrate our new house with us?”
“We don’t even have a new house!” Severus protested. “I’m just saying… you know
what I’m like about people in my personal space.”
“I’m in
your personal space,” Ron grinned wickedly, turning to straddle Severus’ legs,
aided by the stretched front seat. He placed his hands on Severus’ shoulders.
“You don’t mind this particular Weasley invading it.” He rocked his hips
forward a little.
“Well
you’re special,” Severus whispered, capturing the soft mouth with his own.
They kissed
for a moment, the only backdrop to their intimacy the sound of the sea lapping
gently at the sand. Ron felt his heart swell as it was prone to do in moments
such as this. He fought off the dread in his stomach and tried to chase out the
thoughts in his mind that Severus wouldn’t be around much when he started
teaching again.
“Do you
want to see how big the back seat is?” Severus smirked looking over his
shoulder. “I think you’ll find there’s ample space.”
That was no
mean feat, considering they were both around six foot, Ron just having a slight
edge on Severus. Ron grinned and purred his approval, but didn’t move from his
straddled position. Severus looked at him. “What?”
Ron looked
at him for a moment, wondering what to say. He would feel foolish giving an
outpouring of love, wearing his heart on his sleeve and clutching at Severus
saying he didn’t want him to go back to work.
“Are you
nervous about Friday?” Severus looked at him quizzically. “Because you’re going
to be fine, you know. You’ll be brilliant.”
Ah, yes, Friday. Thanks for bringing
it up. Ron knew his
attachment to Severus would be eased by starting work. On Friday he had his
initiation into Healer Training, which he’d finally decided to apply for. His
mum had been thrilled and Severus encouraging, even though Ron knew he
suspected he was only doing it to be able to stop having to use Severus’ money.
It was half true. But he was fighting with the childish want for his attachment
to never ease off, only to get stronger.
“A little,”
he answered, not looking him in the eye.
“It’s fine
to be nervous,” Severus smiled, pulling Ron’s hands off his shoulders to hold
them in his own in the space between them. “But you’ll be great. I read
Minerva’s recommendation and it was sparkling.”
Ron cracked
a smile and closed his eyes. “Good. Thanks…” He was nervous, he knew it, but it
was taking a back seat to everything else he was nervous about.
“You’re not
being honest with me,” Severus hand found his cheek and rubbed beneath his eye.
“Do you not want to do the training? You can change your mind, you know.”
Ron shook
his head, “No… I want to do it.”
“Then what’s
the matter?” He heard the shift in the tone as Severus’ patience wore just a
little thinner.
“You’ll
tell me I’m being infantile,” Ron warned, looking at Severus sulkily.
“I will
not,” Severus scoffed. Ron continued staring at him and he corrected, “Well. I
won’t unless it’s the truth.”
Ron heaved
a sigh and set his fingers to playing with the open collar on Severus’ shirt.
“I’m just… worried. We’re nearly halfway through August. Eighteen more days and
you… you’re gone,” he whispered softly. “Back to Hogwarts and I can’t go with
you… I can’t sneak into your rooms in the night. And you’ll be there, teaching
all those kids, even though you hate it…”
Severus was
looking at him with deep eyes.
“I’m just…
I feel stupid about it and everything, but I feel like we’re going to lose one
another.”
He blushed
and looked down into Severus’ crotch for something to do.
“Ron,”
Severus said quietly. “Look at me.”
Ron didn’t
look up, leaving Severus to place his fingers on his chin and force his burning
face up to eye level.
“That’s not
infantile,” Severus shook his head gently. “It’s rather endearing. How long have you been worrying about this?”
“Since the day after Harry’s birthday party… I just can’t shake the
feeling that we’re going to drift apart. I.. I don’t know how I’m going to cope
with having to finish work, and then apparate all over the shot and fit into
your timetable just to grab a quick hug or a kiss, never dinner, or sex… it’ll
always have to wait until the weekend, when you’ll come home on a Friday night,
and before we blink it’ll be Sunday evening again. And you can’t really be away
from the school, you’re deputy head and a head of
house…”
I knew you were going to freak out
about this. I knew it was going to be too much for you. “Ron, we’ll make the time,” Severus
shook his head. “We’ll find the time to be together during the week if it’s
what you need.”
“And then
there’s the fact you’re just putting your head down and getting on with it.
Won’t you miss me at all?”
Back to this again. I love you but
you’re such an attention whore. “Ron, of course I will miss you. I miss you when you leave
the same room as me, for Christ’s sake.”
Ron said
nothing but once again didn’t look at Severus.
“I just
deal with things differently. Some things cannot be helped… what’s the point in
lamenting them in those cases?”
“But I love
you,” Ron said pointedly. “I love you and I want to see you properly every
single day. Not fall into bed exhausted and clinging to each other and leave
straight away the next morning. It’s not what I want.”
“We knew it
would be tough…”
“And we talked about it; I know… we’ve not stopped talking about it. But
Merlin, Severus… I want to walk through the fireplace of our home and find you
waiting there… not anywhere else.”
“I don’t
know what you want me to say, or do,” Severus shrugged, shifting slightly on
the seat. “Do you want me to step down as head of house and as deputy head?”
“No,” Ron
said, too quickly.
I know what you want, you want me to
quit completely. “Well
it seems like that’s where you’re heading.”
“I’m not
going to ask you to abandon your working life,” Ron shook his head. “That
wouldn’t be fair. But I’m just failing to see how we can handle this.”
They had reached
a stalemate, as they always did, where they were left staring at one another
deep in thought, each trying to guess what the other was thinking.
“I don’t
want to quit,” Severus shook his head. “I’ve worked hard and I’m just used to
it now…”
“I’m not
asking you to quit,” Ron repeated. “I don’t want you to quit.”
More
silence. Ron leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Severus’, his legs
starting to ache from being sat so for such a long time.
“Let’s just
try it for a few weeks,” Severus breathed finally. “And it’s going to be harder
for me at first than it is you! You start properly next Monday… that’s two
whole weeks for me of being alone in that house… when you fill it up so fully
when you’re there. Two weeks of waiting for you to come out of the fireplace,
to hear about your day, make you food, give supportive massages…. Maybe by the
time I start work, you’ll feel differently?”
Ron nodded,
conceding his point. “Okay. I’m sorry. Selfish of me to bring
that up today.”
“Not
selfish at all,” Severus kissed his lips. “How many times do I have to tell you
that if you’re upset about anything, please tell me.
Look at me… I’m the anti-poster boy for bottling emotions up. Don’t do that,
you’ll end up as fucked as I am.”
“You are
not fucked,” Ron muttered, “Unless it’s by me, of course. You’re just…”
“Fucked,”
Severus nodded for him.
“No, you’re
not. You’re healing now,” Ron trailed a hand down and placed it over his heart.
“You’re healing and it’s not going to stop here.”
“Shut up,”
Severus rolled his eyes. “Don’t start on about your making me whole again mumbo
jumbo.”
Ron snorted
with laughter and wriggled off Severus’ lap. “Let’s go home,” he said. “I’m
starving.”
Reluctantly
Severus slid back into position behind the wheel and re-configured the front
seats to normal. Ron clipped his seat belt into place and looked over at him
expectantly, waiting for him to start the ignition. But Severus was just
looking at him with emotion.
“What, have
I got something on my face?”
Severus
smiled and covered Ron’s hand with his. “Can’t a pauper gaze upon a king?”
Ron snorted
again and said, “What the hell have you been smoking?”
Severus
turned the key and reversed the car. “Can I go above sixty on the way home?”
“Only if you give me a blow job later?”
“Done!”
Ron left
his stomach behind on the seafront as the tires squealed from the acceleration.
***
It was late
and Ron was getting tired. He was languishing on the sofa, his back resting on
the seat cushions, legs bent onto the floor. Severus was between his legs,
kissing along his inner thighs.
“Do wake
up,” Severus winked at him. “You look like you’re about to fall asleep… am I
that appalling at this that you can’t even stay awake for me?”
Ron rolled his
eyes. “Just shut up and suck, I let you break the speed limit and you have some
serious begging to do to be forgiven.”
“I was
overtaking a lorry,” Severus said indignantly, sitting up further away from
Ron’s crotch. “You have to be quick when you’re doing that.”
Ron ignored
him and pointed purposefully to his pants.
“Fine, but
you don’t deserve it,” Severus scowled, and ducked his head to lick a trail
through the thin pyjamas.
Ron groaned
and smiled, but found he wasn’t pulled as he usually was when Severus started
on him. As he moved to take Ron in his mouth he was surprised when he pushed
him off gently in protest.
“What? You said you wanted a blow job! I’m giving you one!”
Ron groaned
and swung his legs up so he was lying fully on the sofa. Severus sat back on
his heels, confused. “Ron, what-”
“Get up
here,” Ron waved his hands tiredly.
Do you want my fucking blow job or
not? I’m tired and I could have been tucked up in bed two hours ago but I
wasn’t because you said you fucking wanted a blow job… Grumbling internally, Severus
hauled himself off the floor and lay down awkwardly on top of Ron. “What’s the
matter with you?”
“Tired,”
Ron snaked his arms around Severus’ waist.
He was
wearing thin cotton pyjama bottoms and, Ron was pleased to note, one of Ron’s
oldest t-shirts. He looked delicious. It made Ron feel
even worse that he didn’t have brain power to react to Severus’
administrations. “You look so beautiful,” Ron smiled with a kiss.
“So why are
you rejecting me?” Severus growled in his ear.
“Because I’m just… tired. I love you.”
“You are
eighteen. You should be on my back for sex, not the other way round.”
Ron
chuckled sleepily. “You look really good in my t-shirt… where did you find
that?”
“I took it
out of your half of the wardrobe,” Severus pulled back looking sheepish. “Is
that okay?”
“I have
never felt happier than seeing you wearing my clothes,” Ron smiled. “You really
do look great. Much better than those awful nightclothes you used to tramp
around the school in.”
“I know…
not exactly Mr Fashion Sense.” Severus kissed his collarbone.
“You can
have whatever of mine that you want…” Ron mirrored the kisses on Severus’ body.
“I just never thought you’d actually want it.”
“Are you
kidding me?” Severus kissed his lips and Ron could taste the wine he’d been
drinking a few moments before. “I love all your ratty little t-shirts, the way
you walk around in them looking so delicious. If they only looked half as good
on me I’d be happy.”
“It looks
just fine on you,” Ron smoothed his hands over his back. “God, Severus...”
He could
feel Severus’ erection pressing into his hip.
Tired as he was, Ron enjoyed the weight of him on his body, it made him
feel safe. Severus moved his hips again and groaned softly. “Mmm, that’s good,” he whispered. “I know how we’re meant to
be grown ups now, and that dry humping is sort of adolescent and such but…” He
groaned again. “Do you mind if I hump you?”
Ron laughed
beneath him. “You’re asking me if you can hump me? Oh
god, Severus,” he laughed again.
Severus
stilled his hips and stared at Ron. “You didn’t want my blow job, and now you
won’t let me get off by rubbing against you… Ron, should I be worrying about
something here?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Oh fuck
no,” Ron laughed. “I’m sorry. Nobody’s ever asked to hump me before, I’m
sorry…”
He kissed
Severus again and ground his hips upwards. “Hump away.”
A grin
spread over Severus’ face and he ground his hips down again, wrapping his arms
under Ron’s back with a smile. “I have to confess I’ve never asked to hump anyone
before…”
Ron slipped
his tongue past the thin lips he was so used to kissing. Oh god… French kissing. You know me so well
Ron. He dug his hips in again and moaned gently. Ron tilted his head back
to expose his throat. What are you trying
to do to me…? Severus dropped his head and kissed the neck softly at first,
then nestled his lips on the side and began to lick and suck.
Ron snuck a
hand in between them and grasped Severus’ through his pyjamas. He heard a hiss
in his ear and smiled so tugged a little more with a smile. He used his other
hand to press down on Severus’ behind. More groaning came.
“Severus…”
Ron shifted up.
“What?” he
breathed, looking down at Ron with his hair falling down over his eyes. Ron squeezed with his hand and thrust again. “Oh!”
Severus laughed, reaching between them and smoothing his hand over the erection
he found there. “You should have just said…”
Ron pulled
his head down and kissed him again, slipping his tongue in again to rub against
Severus. “You taste of wine.”
“And you
taste of pastry… and wine.” Severus rubbed his nose over Ron’s, looking into
his blue eyes as though trying to see through them. “And you look like sex.”
“Sex?!”
Ron snorted. “That’s romantic. Are you saying I look like a rent boy?”
Severus
laughed. “And how do you know about such sordid things?”
“I know
lots of sordid things,” Ron grinned, and kissed him.
“I’ve done
lots of sordid things,” Severus trumped him with a grin. “Lots and lots and
lots…”
Ron smiled
and arched his back up with a groan.
“You always tell me that but you never detail because you insist that
you’re no good at talking dirty. Frankly I think you’re just lying.”
“I am not
lying,” Severus exclaimed. Maybe it’d be
better if you were lying. You wouldn’t be faced with having to actually talk
about it!
“Prove it,”
Ron smirked with a slightly raised eyebrow.
Growling,
Severus shifted so he was a little more comfortable. “Fine.
When I was twenty-one, I had a threesome.”
“Oh you did
not, liar,” Ron retorted. “With who?”
“Two men…
they might have been rent boys.”
“You would
not,” Ron snorted.
“Alright
they weren’t rent boys… they were old acquaintances.”
“So what
did you do with them?”
Fucking son of a bitch. “Well… it sort of went into a
circle. One of us took it from behind and sucked the other off…”
He heard
Ron exhale and smirked.
“Which one
were you?” Ron asked tentatively.
“Which one
do you think I was?” Severus smiled and traced his forefinger round the outside
of Ron’s lips.
Uncertainly,
Ron looked into his eyes. “I’ll bet you that you’re the one that took it and
gave the blow job.”
Severus
nodded and smiled. “It was good.”
Suddenly,
Ron was internally on fire. He really couldn’t stand the thought, where once
before he thought he might find it a turn on to hear about Severus’ old conquests,
he now knew it was a mistake. Jealousy tore up through his stomach and tried to
get up out of his throat. He swallowed a couple of times and felt the heat rise
in his face.
Using the
palms of his hands he pushed Severus off him and stood up, walking out into the
kitchen with his blood boiling, the thought of his Severus taking it up the
arse from someone else other than him, the thought of him putting his lips
around another man’s dick… the thoughts swirled round his brain. His stomach
was churning. He turned the tap on too hard and jumped as the cold water shot
out of the sink and splashed back up in his face. He cupped his hands under the
stream and threw it up over his face once, twice, a third time. He wasn’t
cooling down. He turned off the tap and leant on the sink.
“Ron, is
everything okay?” Severus’ voice came, and Ron glanced to see him standing in
the doorway, twisting his fingers nervously.
“I’m fine,”
Ron gave his automatic response.
“You’re
clearly not,” Severus leant against the door. “You’re always asking me about my
sexual past… I finally open up to you about it and you push me off and run
away?”
Ron
swallowed and turned around. “I didn’t know I’d react like that… I thought I’d
find it a turn on, you know…”
“And you
didn’t?”
“Not one
bit,” Ron opened the fridge and pulled out the milk bottle, bringing it to his
lips. He knocked some back and gasped as the cool liquid soothed down his
throat. He put it back and breathed in and out. “Not one little bit. I nearly
went mad in there… I actually felt physically sick imagining it.”
Severus
nodded and came forward, hands outstretched. “Well, okay, we’ve learnt our
lesson… no more talk about past sexual partners. That’s fine.”
Ron nodded.
“Good.”
“I love
you, Ron,” Severus said, putting his hands on his upper arms. “You do know
that, right?”
Ron nodded,
still looking absentmindedly.
“Seriously,
Ron… then what’s going on?”
“It’s like…
I just got an insight into what I’d feel like if you cheated on me.”
“But those
people were in the past!?” Severus exclaimed, letting him go and gesturing with
his hands.
“I know
they were,” Ron groaned, bringing his hands up to his face and tugging on his
fringe. “But I don’t know what came over me… it felt horrible.”
“I don’t
feel that way about your history…”
“I don’t
have a sexual history!” Ron scowled. “I haven’t been laid before you. You’re my
first…”
“Your first what?” Severus couldn’t help the small smile.
“My first
love,” Ron turned around and moodily stamped out into the garden, shoving the
door open as he went.
It was
still warm in the dark garden and the path was warm under his bare feet. He
felt incredibly stupid and naïve.
“Ron, come
back here,” Severus called, stepping into the night and looking warily up at
the terraces to his right. There were lights on in the upper levels but no
figures standing in them.
“I’ll be in
in a minute,” Ron replied. “I just need to cool down
for a minute.”
Severus
walked down the path and tugged his hand. “Come on, in, now…”
“Why are you
so afraid of people seeing me here?” Ron asked as he allowed himself to be
tugged. “You don’t want to admit you’re gay? You don’t want to admit you’ve got
a toyboy? What?”
Severus
pushed him into the kitchen and slammed the door behind them. Turning back
round, he put his hands at Ron’s waist and swung him up onto the wooden table
without thinking about his weight. Something clicked in his back but he ignored
it. He nudged in between Ron’s legs and pushed his face to his. “No. I don’t
want the street knowing I’m gay. Do you have a problem with that? I’m just
private.”
“I’d like
to be able to touch you in the garden!” Ron said indignantly. “I want to be
able to wander out and put my arms around your waist when I bring you a cup of
coffee. Is that so weird?”
“You’re so
desperate to be public,” Severus shook his head. “Without any
regard for the consequences. What if Death Eaters saw us? These gardens
back onto a wood which leads to a public river. They figure out you’re with me…
we’re a target and you’re going to screw up a lot of hard work which has gone
on for years.”
“No, we’d
ruin that work together,” Ron said sternly. “Unless you don’t love me, in which
case it really is just me.”
“When are you going to stop questioning whether I love you or not?” Severus whispered, spreading his
fingers over Ron’s face and kissing his forehead. “I love you beyond anyone I
have ever loved before,” he continued. “You know, Ron, what that means, you
know who you’ve topped… so please can we just stop this?”
Ron looked
at him with big eyes. He smiled, and nodded, but hopped off the table, brushing
past Severus and heading back out into the garden, walking determinedly into
the shadows at the back of the garden where trees cast pitch blackness which
could not be properly penetrated even with a torch.
What the fuck are you doing? Where
are you going?
Gingerly Severus checked his wand in his pocket and pulled the back door to. He
crept down the path silently, keeping his eyes out for Ron as he went. He found
him leaning back against a tree in the darkness. Holy mother of… Ron was leaning against the tree stark naked,
lazily watching as Severus came towards him.
“What are
you doing?” Severus asked weakly, trying to keep his mind concentrated and away
from the fact in that in the darkness Ron looked almost ethereal. His skin
positively glowed.
“Nobody can
see us here in the trees,” Ron breathed. “But they could find us if they had a
mind to.”
Severus
nodded uncertainly. “So why are you standing here in the nude, Ron?”
Ron smiled slowly
and lazily ran his hand over his own cock, fingers trailing down onto his
balls. Son of a bitch… he’s actually
trying to kill me. He moved away from the tree, to where the ground was
flatter, and lay down, looking up at Severus with eyes which only meant one
thing.
“No, Ron,
we can’t, not here,” Severus hissed, falling to his knees next to him.
Ron didn’t
say a word; but used his big hands to pull Severus on top of him, making the
woodland floor crunch beneath his body. “You wanted to hump me… you can hump
out here in the middle of this little wood. And whilst you do it you can tell
me you love me like no other. It’s dark…nobody can see us, and nobody will be
out here at this time of night,” he reasoned. He pushed his lips to Severus’
neck and whispered, “Please.”
“You will
be the death of me, Ron,” he breathed, before grinding his hips forward into
Ron’s naked ones with force. Ron muffled his cry into Severus’ shoulder.
“You are
going to be the cause of my undoing, I know it,” Severus continued, reaching
his hand down to stroke Ron’s cock as it lay between them. He rubbed his thumb
over the tip.
“But I love
you anyway,” he sucked down to suck at his neck again, his other hand finding a
nipple and squeezing.
This time
Ron had nowhere to hide his cry of delight, and the sound filtered up into the
trees and floated into the night.
“You should
be quiet,” Severus whispered, fastening his pace with his hand to a speed he
knew Ron wouldn’t last five seconds under. “You wouldn’t want to have to
explain to the authorities what you’re letting me do, would you? Having sex in
public is illegal.”
Ron pulled
him down to return his face to his shoulder and Severus smiled devilishly. Ron
needn’t know about the silencing charm he’d wordlessly cast.
It wasn’t
long before Ron was moaning in short bursts into his ear anyway. Severus
extricated himself and moved his mouth down to the erection which had been
somewhat painfully digging into his bony hip. He wasted no time in wrapping his
lips around the tip and flicking at it with his tongue. Without his muffler
Ron’s accelerated breathing seemed much louder as he hissed into the woody air.
On the pretence of coming up for air, Severus sucked on his finger and returned
his mouth to Ron’s cock, sneaking his finger down to his entrance and pushing
without warning. The sound which came out of Ron was beautiful to his ears, a
yelp of sorts, a yelp he knew well after almost a
month of sexual exploration with his young lover.
Severus sucked
and pushed his finger in harder, and Ron bucked up to meet him.
“I love you
Severus,” he whispered desperately, fingers clutching at the dirt next to his
hips. “I love you so much, never ever leave me… never break me that way…”
Severus let
the words wash over him and he swirled his tongue around and scraped his finger
back and forth over the location he knew Ron’s prostate to be. It was enough.
He tasted the come in his mouth before Ron could cry out and sucked it into his
waiting mouth with extreme force. Aware of his surroundings, Ron was trying his
hardest not to cry out but his verbal struggle only made it sound more
perverted to Severus, who licked for the last time before removing his mouth,
sitting up, and spitting quietly on the ground next to Ron.
“Severus?”
Ron spoke, and Severus could tell he was looking at him in the darkness.
“Ron?” He
replied in his most sultry tone.
The wind
was knocked out of him as Ron pushed him back onto the woodland floor, sitting
on top of him. “I will most certainly be the undoing of you.”
He shoved
down the thin trousers and took Severus up in his mouth, laying
on his best oral rap to extract a cry or groan from his old professor. It was
working, beneath him Severus was writing, and bucking and hissing in his own
special way. Ron grinned around his cock and trailed his hand up along the line
of hair which ran down from his belly button to the groin he was paying so much
attention to. “Fuck, Ron, that tongue of yours is just… uh, fucking amazing.”
Smirking
fully now, Ron slid forward and took as much as he possibly could of him in his
mouth, knowing that this always had the desired effect. Severus didn’t
disappoint him. He jerked with a cry and Ron slid upwards, to hold only the
tip, and sucked his orgasm out of him, swallowing loudly, clumsily and wetly,
proving the point he always made whenever he sucked Severus off –that he wasn’t
afraid to swallow him down.
“See. Now
everyone has a blow job,” he said teasingly, and got to his feet in search of
his clothes.
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