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The Man Drawer	By : starstruck86 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Ron Views: 5731 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
- 1-The Man Drawer
- 1
A/N: Just a little oneshot, based entirely on the concept of a �Man Drawer�, in which
things that will never be used are kept by hoarding men, and inspired by watching
a very funny sketch on this matter by M. McIntyre, certain items in the drawer are from his genius. Enjoy! x

-----

�Oh fuck, Harry, yeahhhh��

Ron�s groan floated up to the ceiling of their flat and sank
into the plaster. He was sprawled somewhat wantonly on their leather sofa which
was large enough that there was ample room for his six foot two frame with his
head flat on the seat and spare room after his feet.

His boyfriend of four years was nimbly placed in between his
spread thighs, licking a wet trail up the erection he�d created with little
more than a seductive flash of his emerald eyes.

�You taste good,� Harry teased, blowing a trail of hot breath
where his tongue had smoothed.

�Shut up, Boy-Who-Lived-To-Suck-My-Cock, and fulfil your
destiny�� Ron groaned, arching up his back in order to get the heavenly lips
back where they belonged.

�How many times, Ron,� Harry grinned somewhat evilly.
�That�s never the turn on you think it is to hear.�

�Well, it turns me on,� Ron muttered. �Please, Harry
dearest, my beautiful raven-haired nymph, please wrap your sultry lips around
my �OW!�

Ron�s eyes flew open and he glared at Harry. �Well, there
goes my screaming orgasm for the night. Pube pulling?� His hand flew to his balls and massaged where
he�d been rebuked for his mouth.

�Oh, so sorry, did that hurt?� Harry laced his voice with
sickly sweet regret and bent his head, nosing at Ron�s hand. �I�ll just have to
kiss it better, won�t I?�

�Keep talking,� Ron closed his eyes again and a smile spread
across his lips as he felt gentle kisses pepper over his sac, interspersed with
tiny, almost coy little licks.

Little licks became moderate, and from moderate bypassed
large completely and bounded straight to indecent; Ron reached up and grabbed
the arm of the chair, sinking his fingernails into the leather as his bollocks
were thoroughly tongued.

�Sooo goooooood,�
he hissed, flexing his erection with want.

�I know,� Harry said with an arrogant sigh, and winked. �But
I want more than just tasting you��

�Oh, Mr. I�m-So-Tired-After-My-Big-Important-Auror-Meeting.�

�Are you actually complaining that I want a fuck?� Harry
raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

�No,� Ron shrugged. �I�m just pointing out that your moods go up and down like a tart�s knickers, is all.�

�And what would you know about tarts� knickers, hmm?� Harry
cocked his head to the side with a dangerous glare. �Got something to tell me,
Weasley?�

�Err, nope,� Ron looked innocent. �You�re the only tart I�ve
tasted for the past four years.�

�And I taste like?�

�Treacle,� Ron winked with a cheesy grin. �Sugary
with a bit of a dark kick.�

�Ron,� Harry snorted. �Please don�t ever say that again.�

�What?� Ron protested, as Harry climbed out from between his
legs and stood in the middle of their rather sizable living room in all his
naked glory. �I can�t use a gut-rotting description every now and then?�

�No,� Harry moved off but then he froze. �Fuck, Ron, did you
go to the Alley to replace the lube stock?�

�No, because you said you would, on your way home from
work.�

�Er, no, I said that you could
go, as you�re still being a layabout on sick leave from that injury which
healed within three days of being home.�

�Hey, I don�t make the sick leave regulations, Harry,� Ron
said, somewhat smugly.

He had, of course, being sitting on his arse for a glorious
two weeks due to a nasty gut infection caught from a poisoned chamber on an
Auror raid. He had another week left and planned to carry on his paid holiday
as he had begun it.

�Fucking girl, you could just come back to work,� Harry
rolled his eyes.

His indifference would have sounded hurtful, had Ron not
remembered the fact that Harry had spent two days and nights plastered to the
side of his hospital bed waiting for Ron to wake up when the infection had held
its worst hold.

�So we don�t have
any lube, is that what you�re telling me?� Ron got back to the point.

�Well if you didn�t buy any, then no, we do not. And no, we
are not fucking using olive oil.�

Ron snorted. �Well, check the Man Drawer.�

�Why the hell would you have lube in there?�

�I have everything
in there, Harry. It�s my homeland, the one space in this flat I really and
truly need. I could survive all manner of attacks with the contents of that
drawer alone.�

�Fine,� Harry hissed. �I�ll check the drawer. You just wait
here and rest on your poxy laurels whilst I do all
the hard work.�

Ron did just that, he stretched out again and reached down
to fondle his erection, stroking languidly with the tips of his fingers,
playing with the foreskin. Impatience called for him to make a fist and on the
upward stroke he moved his thumb to brush across his slit, hissing at the
stinging pleasure it created. He continued, running his free hand over a
nipple, then down his torso and over his hip to reach down and cup his balls,
weighing them in the palm of his hand before gently tugging.

Creating a merry party for himself and starting to moan
shortly after, he didn�t realise that Harry hadn�t returned until he had
properly made himself leak, and he became impatient to be filled. It wasn�t
very often he was allowed to bottom and when promised Ron instantly looked
forward to it.

Huffing slightly, he rolled off the sofa and landed on his
feet, his cock jutting proudly out in front of him as he padded to the kitchen,
where the bright light flooded out into the living room floor. He curled his
fingers around the doorframe and teasingly tilted enough of his torso into the
kitchen. But Harry wasn�t there.

At least, he wasn�t, until Ron looked down on the floor.

�What are you doing to my drawer?!� He cried in horror.

Harry was sitting cross legged on the floor, the drawer in
question removed from the casters and seated alongside him. And the contents
were sprawled in a motley array in front of him, some of the items in piles.

�This drawer is fucking insane,� Harry declared. �Full of
crap.�

�How dare you,� Ron growled. �That drawer�s saved your bony
backside more times than I care to count, Potter.�

�Oh really, name one?�

�That night when work kept our wands in for curse observation, and you sat on your glasses. Who superglued
them back together with superglue from the drawer in question?�

Harry looked up at him and said bitterly, �You.�

Ron smugly nodded and folded his arms across his chest,
stepping properly into the kitchen, the cool tiles feeling good on his feet.

�But look,� Harry gestured at the piles. �I counted eleven
different Chinese menus, Ron. Eleven.�

�Very useful information,� Ron said coolly. �Everybody likes
choice.�

�We use the same Chinese, every time. The
crappy one. The one where you have to wonder what the meat is, because
it doesn�t look like chicken. And, what�s fucking more, we�ve ordered the SAME
thing for four years, Ron. We don�t need menus!�

�What�s your point?� Ron frowned.

Harry threw him a contemptuous glance. �And
here, something else. This is an instruction manual to a television
you�ve never owned. It was mine. You dropped it when we moved because I groped
your arse and your levitation spell broke!� Harry picked up said manual. �So, why.do.we.still.have.the.fucking.manual?!�
He punctuated each word with a swat of the pamphlet through the air.

�Because it�s always good to have a reference point,� Ron
shrugged. �You never know.�

�You�re turning into your father,� Harry jabbed the manual
at him and threw it down, looking for his next item. �Aha! Look, this tin of
broom polish. The lid�s jammed on. The lid�s been jammed on for best part of two years, why the fuck do you still have it?�

�It might come off,� Ron said moodily, scraping his big toe
innocently back and forth on the floor, his eyes following it. �And then we�d
have a perfectly usable tin of broom polish.�

�Or,� Harry said with eyebrows in his hairline, �It might
not, and you�d just have another piece of crap in your drawer.�

�Look, I thought we were going to fuck?� Ron growled.

�We are. But, if I were you, I�d sit down, because the
blind�s up and I�m sure everybody in the building opposite is
just loving your wood right
now, Ron.�

Ron flushed and threw himself down on his knees rather
painfully. �You could have pointed that out earlier, you sod.�

�Well, we�ve got to give them something. You know how that
old dear on the fifth floor loves a good perve.�

Ron shuddered and made a gagging sound.

�Oh, see, fuck�s sake, Ron. What�s this?� He held up a
silver key in one hand. �And this?� he held up a gold one in the other.

�They�re keys,�
Ron said in a voice which one would generally associate to teaching a
five-year-old a challenging problem. �You know, Harry, things you unlock doors
with? Do you know what a door is?�

�Keep talking and my cock won�t be what�s ramming up your
arse,� Harry gave the silver key, the bigger and knobblier
of the two, a menacing twist in the air.

�Kinky bastard,� Ron smirked. �And, anyway, just because we
no longer live in either of those residences, one day, you might want to get
back in. And I�m just saying we could.�

�Yes, Ron, because wizards need keys. Wands pale in significance
to the power of the mighty key.�

�Well, frankly, yes, they do.�

�And, look. This tape measure. We
both know for fact it�s all stretched and in no way gives an accurate
representation of anything any more, and hasn�t, since about two months after
it was purchased!�

�So that�s why you�re still measuring your dick with it when
you think I�m not looking,� Ron slapped his thigh. �You like how big it makes
you!�

Harry flushed then and threw the tape measure down and Ron
burst out laughing.

�Well, I�ve had enough,� Harry declared. �It�s going. I need
this drawer.�

�What for?� Ron scowled.

�Stuff.�

�What stuff?�

�Indeterminable items of great importance,� Harry sniffed
airily.

�THESE are
indeterminable items of great importance!� Ron protested,
gesturing to the crap spread out on their expensively tiled floor.

�Important to whom?�

�Me!�

�I am claiming ownership to this drawer!� Harry laid a hand
on it.

�Like fuck you are,� Ron hissed and dropped forward onto his
hands and knees to better protect his sacred house of crap, when his eyes
caught something on the floor.

�And, see! Drawer wins again,� he grabbed the tube and waved
it. �See, lube. In the man drawer! The drawer has saved the day, yet again.�

�I�m not having sex with you unless you give up this drawer,�
Harry threw his gauntlet down and Ron�s mouth fell slightly open.

�Well, I�m not having sex with you unless you get rid of
that god-awful vase that you troll out every time I have to suffer through your
�lets-all-make-nice-with-Malfoy� dinners.�

�That was a gift,� Harry protested. �I can�t throw away a
gift, he�ll be offended.�

�He�ll just buy you an even worse fucking vase!� Ron cried.

Harry snatched the lube off him then. �I love you when
you�re angry,� he breathed, and tackled Ron around the waist, sending him
flopping down into the pile of Chinese menus, allen
keys, old birthday candles, keys, the tape measure and assorted manuals.

Winded, Ron couldn�t really get anything out at Harry�s
sudden change of heart, and as roughened fingers he knew so well wrapped around
his cock, he didn�t want to bother. Harry pumped him back to fullness with the
addition of wet kisses on his lips.

�Oh gods, want you so bad,� Ron panted, not caring that a
there was a screwdriver trying to work into his spine. �Harry, fuck me� ohhh��

Ron wanted to cry as he felt Harry slicking up his cock, and
recognised that he wouldn�t be fucked after all. But the hand glided over his
shaft and he moaned, too wrapped up in the heightened sensation to really care
�as long as he came, it would do.

�Er, Ron?�

�What?� he breathed, cracking open his eyes.

�I think� I think we might have made a mistake,� Harry�s
eyes were wide.

�What the fuck you on about?� Ron
groaned. �Just sit on my cock and ride me, bitch.�

�No, I mean� I don�t think this is lube, I think� I think
it�s the superglue, Ron.�

�WHAT?!� Ron yelped, flying upright
and nearly cracking his head with Harry�s, who jumped to his feet looking at
his hand in horror. �Oh, fuck��

His eyes were still trained down at his member in horror
when he heard a snicker from above, and he glanced up to see Harry�s face
contorted as he tried to hold in his mirth.

�You fucking bastard!� Ron growled, and struggled to his
feet as Harry took flight into the living room, laughing loudly as he went.

Ron caught up with him by the sofa, grabbed him around the
waist and threw him headfirst into the cushions, yanking his backside up in the
air. He positioned himself quickly and before Harry could protest he thrust
inward, relishing the shocked moan which broke out of his boyfriend�s lips.

�You�d better fucking hope it wasn�t superglue,� Ron picked
up his pace, pressing his fingertips hard into Harry�s hips. �Because I doubt
even you could talk your way out of
this one when the Healers got involved.�

Harry couldn�t laugh because at that moment Ron stole his
breath away with a series of sharp staccato snaps of his hips, and his large,
well-practiced hand tugged at his cock in a way which told Harry in no
uncertain terms that he was going to come fast and hard, very, very soon.

�Oof, fuck, Ron!� he gasped, as he
lurched forward and caught a faceful of scatter
cushion.

�Leave,� Ron thrust between each word, �My� man� drawer�
alone��

�If threatening it �AH FUCK! YES,
THERE, FUCKING THERE, OH GODS� SHIT! Ah! If it gets me this I�ll burn the
fucking thing to cinders��

�Any last words?� Ron began to pump
with his fist.

�No,� Harry choked, as his balls were assaulted by another
pair ramming into them from behind. �Oh, Jesus.�

Ron laid down his final weapon as he bent his head and
licked a trail right through the centre of Harry�s shoulder blades into the
nape of his neck, and watched as the damp key unlocked his brunette�s control.
Harry shuddered violently, his lips letting out whimpers, and he pulsed hard
over Ron�s hand.

Not to be outdone, Ron thrust in three more times before his
balls tightened and he came in long pulses into Harry�s passage, throwing his
head back to moan as he did so.

�Fucking hell,� Harry wheezed beneath him, his arms almost
buckling from keeping himself suspended.

�Yeah,� Ron squeezed his eyes together and panted slightly.

�You know what?� Harry mumbled.

�Mmm?�

�I really fancy a Chinese now.�

Ron laughed slightly as he pulled out, and gave a cheeky
slap to Harry�s arse. �Well. Pick one of the eleven menus so we can have our
usual fight and you�re paying, seeing as you robbed me of my fuck.�

�I�ll pay,� Harry got slowly to his feet, dragging his hands
back through his messy hair. �If the drawer goes.�

Ron stared at him. �Good thing I�m on paid holiday, then,
isn�t it? Money�s in my wallet.�

-fin-
- 1
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The Man Drawer