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Love Like Feathers	By : RiverWhispers Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 1138 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters from the series which appear in the story. I am not making any money off this. All songs belong to respective composers and bands.

Chapter List
- 1-Fever Dreams
- 2-Still Breathing
- 1
- 2
***

Hello! Thank you all for choosing to read this! This is the first chapter rewrite of Love Like Feathers. It is much better than the first version, I am convinced. This is my first story online so please bare with me on editing mistakes. The name of the chapters are songs that inspired me or seemed to fit well with each chapter. Please listen to the songs at some point, it brings the story closer to heart, I find. Also, if at any point anyone wants to be my beta, I will love you forever. This is a really long story, so stay with me. Loves, River.

Love Like Feathers

Chapter 1: Fever Dreams- Circa Survive

I sat in my room at Privet Drive. My blank stare bore a feeling of sudden dread into any poor muggle who happened to wander past my window. I watched as they scurried away, quickening their pace for reasons they would never fully understand. For days I had been watching, just watching. Not waiting for anything to happen, just watching the world out there. It moved on as normal. Ordinary. It sickened me. As far as I was concerned, the world was all but coming to an end. My world, anyway.�

Sirius was dead. Gone, forever. Because of me. Ron and the Weasley family were in hiding, Grimmald Place not being entirely safe for anyone. Hermione was probably with them, trying to keep her muggle parents safe and out of England. Because they were my friends. And people were being killed every day, horrible disgusting deaths. Because they fought more powerful wizards in honor of my name.�

What a fucked up way to live. Or to die. Protecting Harry fucking Potter. The dumb twat who didn't know the value of his life until he was eleven years old...It seemed surreal. Just six short years ago I was on a train, making the first friend I'd ever had in my life. And now, he was risking his life because I was too selfish to stop being friends with him.�

I thought about the past. No summer had ever been as solitary as this one. Now, with all my friends, all my allies; I was more alone than I'd ever been before. I wanted to take everything back, my whole life. I should have asked more questions earlier. I should have kept everyone at a further distance. I should have... There had to be one bloody thing I could have done so that more people would have lived. My birth caused a war. A war that had boiled inside the cold existence of the most powerful wizards of my time for the last sixteen years. I should have done something to protect people the very first time I saw him, leeching from the lifeforms of others.�

I shook in disgust, realizing after a while that I was just shaking in general. It must have been days since I last ate. No one here cared if I left my room or not, including me. For days I'd been routinely sitting and sleeping, worry plaguing my mind. I had been feeling as if something horrid was about to happen. Something life altering, something big was going to happen soon. I could feel it churning deep in my bones, at the very core of my magic. I drug my eyes away from the window and took in my surroundings. Hedwig was out of her cage, preparing for her evening hunt. I had removed the bars from my window, so I opened it, letting her free into the dusk. I made a silent, hopeless wish that she would return with a something, anything to let me know that someone was out there still, alive and breathing. I moved the pitiful distance to my bed and curled into myself atop the covers. Still shaking, but not really noticing, I stared at my ceiling. The dull light from the window bathed my body with it's soft glow, the summer heat gradually becoming bearable. I waited for something like sleep to grace me with its presence, though I knew it wouldn't come. I was restless, tossing about constantly, trying to make sense of the pattern of off white splotches on the ceiling. Useless, trying to fall asleep tonight. The feeling was stronger than ever before. Tonight had to be the night it was going to happen. Bloody hell Harry, you're going loopy... I uncurled myself, tossing my legs over the side of my bed, and shivered as cold air wafted over my body.

Crying. The sound strummed its way into my ears, pulling at my senses, telling me to feel. I looked around the dark, large room. Something caught my eye. A body, trembling on a silk covered bed, glowed dimly in the night. He was crying. His naked spine shook feverishly, the pale skin of his back reflecting the moonbeams which entered through a tall window. I watched him cry, and as the sobs began to grow in violence, I was closer to him. An unsettling sadness swept over me, wrenching at my heart. I looked closer at the boy. Blood dripped from his lips, staining his porcelain skin. A dark bruise was forming around his neck, as if he had been strangled. He gasped for air and turned on the floor, writhing in pain. I noticed the blood everywhere. On his hands and chest, dripping from scratches down his back. Between the soft skin of his thin legs. His ribs looked broken, yet he looked so lovely. His overwhelming beauty brashly contradicted the scene in which he was subject. As I gazed at the boy, I felt tears well up in my eyes. I was so scared, so sad. I felt betrayed. Emotions were pulsing through me and subtle but antagonizing pain was creeping it's way through my body. 'Who are you?' I wondered. 'What soulless, foul person would molest such an angel?' Something in me pulled at me to go to him, to lift his fragile frame into my arms and to ease his pain. I wanted to love him and care for him, to supersede the evil which had torn him. I felt his soul throbbing through mine, intertwining. A soft and soothing warmth passed through me. 'His magic?' I felt whole, for once. I felt completed, our essence was now one; a solid and reliable part of me. I looked closer at him, yearning to look into his eyes. They opened, with such fierce pain and anguish, I felt as if I had fallen. Silver moon orbs stared into my soul, drenching me in the misery of their tears. My heart lurched in my chest. I was certain that if the light were to ever fade from those eyes, my own death would soon follow. A faint scream of terror echoed in the walls around us, and he sobbed louder. The scream rang out again and the boy's fear paced through me. I lent over him, wanting to touch him. I'd do anything to calm him. "Shh..." I hushed his crying. "Hide your ears. Sleep angel. I'm here now. I'll protect you. Sleep, love. Shh..." I whispered. Trying to comfort, unsure he could hear me. His gasping breaths slowly became less erratic. It wasn't much, but it was encouraging. "Hush now. Sleep. I'll save you. I'll kill the bastard who put you in this pain. I won't rest until I find you. I'll save you. Shush, love. Sleep." His breathing calmed and his tears ran dry. I could feel a sense of comfort nestle in snuggly with his pain. I felt as his loneliness began to fizzle away softly, what was left morphed into a dull ache. A uninvited reminder. He slept.�

I shook. Angry, violent sobs; a mask of the boy I'd left sleeping. I was angry...so angry. Harry. Calm down. It was nothing, a bloody strange dream...I attempted piecing myself back together and took in my surroundings. The last tail feathers of twilight still lingered over the horizon. Strange, didn't sleep for long. Moving to sit up, I realized that I wasn't lying down. I was in the position I had last placed myself, not minutes ago. Abruptly, I convulsed. The anger finding its way back into my bones. I felt strange, as if I were half in my room, whilst the other half galavanted some place far away. It was deep into the night there...who was he? Another involuntary shiver coursed through me as I thought of his eyes. terrified. The curve of his spine, his glowing skin. The blood. Whoever this boy was, I was going to save him. It can't have been a dream. It just can't have been... I decided, I would find him. I would save him, I would avenge him.�

***

I thought of his eyes for days. Those lustrous, quicksilver eyes. So familiar, so very, very close. His identity sat as a whisper in the back of my throat. I wanted so badly to choke it out, but I could not. I thought of his lips, neck, shoulders, fingers...every part of him. I longed for him. To kiss each inch of his skin, to lavish however long it took for my love to replace his memory of the evil done to him that night. I could feel that a shift had happened in my magic. I felt it crawling in my skin, begging to be closer to him. Begging me to find him. "But who are you?" I asked into the night. This night, like every other night, I was awake. Staring out my window, as if I could find him beyond the houses and streetlights. A dog barked.

Somebody screamed. It wasn't his screaming sobs, as before. The scream sounded again. Somebody was dying. I felt guilt shove its way into my system, making my stomach churn, and I reached to plug my ears, mimicking the boy before me. The boy. He was curled in his bed, sheets clean, elegantly clothed. His hands were shoved over his ears, and he rocked slowly back and forth. "Avada Kadavra!" A fierce growl. My heart skipped, I screamed, he screamed. But we weren't dead. The screaming had stopped.�

"No!" I howled. I was back in my room, staring out my window. And he was alone, in whatever terrible place he lived. Someone had screamed out, someone had done the unforgivable. My scar ached. Voldemort had to have been behind this. Whoever the boy was, he was trapped in that room, and Voldemort wanted him. I could taste bile on my tongue, foul with worry and remorse. Bitter with anger. I wanted to kill for the boy. I wanted to fight and live for him. The force with which I felt urged to protect him was illogical, but inevitable. I had to save him, my magic wanted me to.�

The days passed slowly, but with each a vision came. Each shorter than the last, and all comforting. I smiled when he wasn't crying. I felt overjoyed when he finally ate a meal, the bones on his wrists jutting out awkwardly. Knowing I would need strength to protect him, I made myself choke down teenage boy sized servings of food. I left my room and ran the streets, working myself into fitful sleep, in which I dreamt only of him. By mid summer I was strong, but he was growing weaker by the minute. Each time a scream reverberated through my temple, I knew he'd overheard another harrowing murder beneath his bed chambers. Each time he cried, he wouldn't eat for days after. I felt his mental state rapidly declining. His only emotions remorse and guilt. So when the vision came, I wasn't surprised by the flood of feelings which encased my own.

"Your fault, your house, your home, your fault." He whispered to himself. He was curled in a corner, his back to the wall. "You're horrid, horrid. A terrible waste of space." More ridicule rang from his lips. He was talking to himself. 'I know that voice. That sneer.' I looked closer at him, noticing for the first time his white blonde hair. 'Malfoy?' I couldn't believe it. Draco Malfoy, in all his anguish, was lying before me. I'd spent my life wanting to watch him suffer, but not giving a damn if anything happened to him. Good or bad. I'd hated him for selfish reasons that only made sense in the mind of an eleven year old boy, but had stayed prevalent to my sixteen year old self.�

"I hate you, they hate you. He is the only one who wants you. You should die.Why live? Mother is dead. No one else cares." Draco whispered to himself. I noticed the wand in his hand, pointed purposefully at his chest. Directly above his heart. His eyes looked pained, his face emotionless. I had to stop him.

"Malfoy no! Shh. Calm, please Draco, shh. What are you doing?" I whispered. I didn't know if he could hear me, but perhaps he could sense me. Feel me as I felt him. Or maybe he could hear my voice, if he listened closely. I wouldn't let him die, either way. He was my responsibility. It wasn't just that, I wanted to save him. More than anything, I wanted Draco Malfoy to be part of my life. My eyes widened at my realization, but it was true. Magic hadn't taken me to him for no reason. "Draco. Listen to me. Listen. Don't do this."

Draco's hand quivered, slightly shifting the angle of his wand. I took it as a good sign. "What's wrong Draco, what's happened? What are you doing, pointing that at yourself, saving those things?"

Draco's head sagged, silent tears falling from his face. His wand hand regained its prior rigor. "You've nothing left to live for. Nothing...Father hates you. You've been disowned already. You're being given away. It's not worth living. You're not worth the breaths you take." Quietly, his rant reverberated throughout the room. He felt alone, so very alone.

I attempted to move closer to the boy, his blonde hair glowing in the light from the window. Dawn. Such a horrible time for suicide. I tried harder to get him to listen. I knew he could hear me, feel me, sense me. Something. Anything would be good enough, he had only to let go and listen. 'Draco, no. It is worth it. You are worth more than you could ever imagine. You're not alone. I want you to live. I want to see you again. Can you hear me? You have a whole new life ahead of you to live for Draco. A whole new life. Look outside, it's not night anymore. It's dawn, it's light.'

Slowly, he looked up at the soft pink light breaking into the navy morning sky. He turned away, clenching his eyes shut. "Who are you? Why should I listen?" He whispered. I would not have heard him if I hadn't been connected with him in the strange way I now was. He was shaking, afraid of the voice in his head. My heart beat heavily, sorrowing for him.

"I'm real Draco. I'm here. I need you to hold on just a while longer. I promise I will save you, nothing will happen to you. Do you hear? Nothing will happen to you. I won't let you get hurt anymore." I whispered into his ear. A sharp chill ran up his spine, but, ever so subtly, his shoulders relaxed. "I promise Draco I promise I will save you. I promise." I repeated over and over, until my throat felt bare and my lips were dry.�

"I've never been so scared." He whispered, wand clattering to the ground. He wrapped his arms around his knees and cried, gasping for every breath. "Who are you?" He asked again. I couldn't tell him. He'd think he was going crazy. It would just hurt him more.

"I'm real Draco. I'm here. I promise, and I won't break my promise. Please get in bed love, go sleep." Still battling to fill his lungs with air, he struggled to his feet. He was bone thin, a mistreated creature. He took a step before swaying a bit. "Draco?" I questioned, hoping he could walk. He couldn't. I watched as his knees buckled and he stared to fall. Eyes rolled back and mouth slacked open, the sight wrenched at my heart. I couldn't let him fall, I wouldn't. Within seconds, he was in my arms. I gasped as I caught him, my back landing hard on the ground while his body was protected. "Merlin..." I breathed. I needed to get him into bed. I grabbed his wand from beside me and stood, Draco still in my arms. I was glad I had chosen to work out, though I could barely feel any weight as he laid, slack jawed, in my arms. I walked with him and gently placed his withered body on the bed, wand beside him.

He was beautiful as before, his porcelain glowing elegantly in the early morning light. His thin fingers wound around mine in his sleep, and I realized I was holding his hand. I bent my head down, placing my lips on his skin before pulling my hand away. I thought I saw him smile, so faintly, as he slept.

My eyes snapped open. Bloody. Fucking. Hell. He'd been in my arms. I'd held his slender body so close to mine, I could still smell him. I sighed deeply. Draco... All this time I'd been so worried for the one boy I'd despised most. No, that wasn't the right word. I'd never despised the boy. I'd just mundanely filled my obligation to hate him. I'd made a point of making his life a living hell, just because I couldn't see past the sneer on his face.�

Now, everything was changed. I knew that if I had paid attention to him, I would have noticed. His eyes, those lovely glass orbs of moonlight, they were always afraid. Back then, he'd been ordered to become my mate, but he'd known it would save his life. I should have known as well. I'd taken his life for granted, as well as my own. He was just a person, a thing, towards which I'd vented any anger; not because I wanted to, but simply because I could. I should have known...I should have seen that Lucius tortures him. I felt guilt rise up in my stomach, churning my insides. I shouldn't have been so stupid to think that even a family ruled by evil would be kind to their own.�

I couldn't get this vision out of my head. My boy, my beautiful, strong angel, was driven to take his own life. And beyond that, my angel was Draco Malfoy. Somehow, my magic was drawn to him, I was being called to save him. It's not my magic calling me though. It's stronger than that... I thought back to his eyes, his skin, the way he'd cast the scent of night blooming flowers and summer rain. I wanted to save him, but suddenly Savior didn't seem to be the right word. Protector, Avenger, Friend...They all had lost their ring. I lay my head back on my pillow and let out a heavy sigh. I knew exactly what I wanted, what I needed to be for him. His Lover. I loved him, regardless of how I'd let myself feel and act in the past. I truly loved him, that was the heart wrenching pull I felt towards him...

This was much more than magic; stronger and more fragile. I didn't love him because of his face or his skin, his enchanting voice...No, it wasn't because of those things. I would love him even if he weren't named Draco Malfoy, if he weren't a boy. It wasn't the person I loved, I realized. It was the soul. He is so strong, able to keep going even when his own father has ruined him. He is still connected to me even though he'd be safe and happy if it weren't for me. He is lovely, passionate, broken...Yet there is still a hope in him. He knows someone is out there, loving him, and he has room in his heart to accept that. This love I felt for him wasn't any normal love. It was paper thin, coming from oblivion into the light of the day, but as strong as spider's silk. This was a love like feathers. Tiny and soft, simple, but full of purpose. It was delicate and could be torn from us at any given moment, but it was also what would keep us soaring while our worlds crashed around our feet. Magic couldn't always save us, but this love...I knew it would be what kept us alive in the end. At that moment I could do nothing more than pray that he would find it in his heart to love me back.�

***

The days passed even slower once I knew who it was I loved. I willed each minute to move by, bringing me closer to the day when I could touch him again. But, I could not control time, no matter how hard I tried. My heart skipped a beat or two when I felt a vision coming on, but in the days after his suicide all I saw was a stone faced Draco. A warrior who had seen his own death.�

The night was cold for summer, and I knew something wasn't right. It was the weekend before we were to go back to school. My birthday had passed without my acknowledgment, with only a letter from Dumboldore to remind me the significance of the date. To me, it was just one day I had to wait out before I could see Draco. Now, with only two days left, a feeling of dread was surging through my bones. It was much the same as I had felt preceding the first vision, in which Draco had been beaten near to death. I hoped that nothing like that had happened again, but regardless, I felt as if Draco was in danger again. This night something bad was going to happen. Guilt crept into my system, along with the dread.� A dread that had slowly swollen into a panic. Something was going to happen to him tonight, I knew it now. I could feel it already starting. It was wrong, and I had to stop it. I promised him I would save him, and by Merlin, I wasn't going to fall back on that promise. I blinked and when I opened my eyes, the world was pitch black.�

A strong scent of blood and decaying leaves filled my nostrils as I tried to take in my surroundings. I was in a forest, familiar looking, but strange all the same. A flash of a tombstone passed before my eyes. It read Narcissa Malfoy and it was covered in fresh blood. 'Draco.' My only thought, and then I was running. The forest was thick and pitch black, but I beat my way through it. I had to save him, something terrible was happening.�

My scar began to bite painfully on my skin, I had to be getting close. Draco was near here, and so was Voldemort. I wasn't going to let that bastard do anything to Draco, no matter what. I slowed as I saw dim light shining through the growth. Creeping up to peer through the trees, I caught my breath. Draco was there, beaten badly, kneeling before the Dark Lord himself. He was on his mother's grave, his hands bound tightly behind his back. His trademark sneer plastered terrifyingly across his face.�

Voldemort was talking, but I couldn't hear him pass my tortured breaths and the beating of both mine and Draco's hearts. A circle of death eaters surrounded the courtyard scene, grins plastered on their unmasked faces. I let out a deep growl of fury. I couldn't let this happen. Voldemort was going to take Draco, and no one was going to stop him. I looked around and saw Lucius Malfoy, his expression blank, with the same smirk painted onto his lips. He cared nothing for his son. Draco deserved better than that. Draco deserved all the love in the world.�

I watched as Draco spat something at the Dark Lord, which was obviously meant to insult the beast. He lifted his wand slowly, saying something to his followers before smirking and shouting a curse. "Draco!" I screamed, everything inside me convulsing. The pain tore me, stabbing me through and through every inch of my body. I was crumpled on the ground, no longer in the forest, yet I could still see Draco. He was screaming also, gasping and sobbing as I was. I prayed that he felt none of the pain I was filling. 'I promised I would save you...' I thought. Then I knew I was taking the pain from him. He was still crying, still screaming, but he rose slowly to his feet. The beam of Voldemort's cruciatus still impaling his temple, but the pain coming straight to me. Draco stood tall and for a second all I could see were Voldemort's eyes. He was staring right into me, telling me I would never live. Then I realized, I was all the way inside Draco's mind. Our magic was fully merged with my sacrifice, and I was seeing through his eyes. Another sharp burst of pain thrust its way into my bones and I cried out, my vision black. 'Draco...'
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Love Like Feathers