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Our Faulty Existence	By : ScatteredSalvation Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 1627 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Harry Potter, nor do I make a profit from this. Any Original Characters are of my own creation.

Chapter List
- 1-Our Faulty Existence
- 1
This is another thought that has been spinning in my head for sometime. It is (possibly) a prologue to another story I have been thinking about writing but this can stand on its own as a oneshot for now. I don't intend to start any more stories until I finish Dismissed Destiny (or until I at least get toward the end of it). For more read my AN at the bottom, enjoy! Comments and such are always welcomed!

I wasn’t actually surprised when I woke up to hear the whispers of others around me. Nor was it all that shocking when no one seemed to notice my eyes had opened and I was indeed awake. I was used to waking up in hospitals and being all but ignored until doctors decided I was worth their time. The uncomfortable bed beneath me and the itchy sheet above me where both common things in hospitals and it brought no alarm to me to wake up within them…again.
I didn’t even bother to glance around at my surroundings, it would do me no good anyway. Opening my mouth to speak failed just as miserably as searching with my eyes would have. I realized my throat was dryer than the sun in the middle of summer. The slightly panicked breath I had taken triggered a coughing fit and beyond my hacking everything went silent. As my body shook with the fit, I realized my entire being ached terribly from something other than the cough.
“Here dear, drink this.” Before I could answer a strong hand had pushed me into a sitting position and a cold liquid was forced down my throat. I nearly gagged on the horrid taste but the soothing circles the hand on my back gave calmed my natural reflexes to puke up the nasty concoction.
It was then that I found my voice and I used it immediately. “Where am I?” I was calm, collected and waiting for an answer. Maybe I appeared too calm because I could almost feel the anxiety and curiosity around me ten fold, the colors flickering before my eyes proved it to me. “Hello?”
“Well child,” The elderly voice was meant to be lulling but the endearing term only set my back straighter and my eyes narrower. My sudden change must have shown more than I had intended because the man was silent for a moment longer before I heard him step closer and continue. “You are at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”
I stared forward, letting the words he said roll around in my head before a bitter and mirthless laugh filed out of my lips. Shaking my head, I took a deep breath to steady myself. “I may be blind, Sir, but I am not stupid,” I nearly sneered in his direction but managed to regain a grip on my annoyance. “Hogwarts is the school from the book series Harry Potter. Now will you tell me where I am?”
“I apologize for any misunderstanding there may be but I assure you, I am not lying about your location,” the man spoke again and I felt him venture another step toward me. “I would however like to hear where you have come from. It‘s most particular how you arrived.”
I snorted, rubbing a hand down my face. It was hard trying not to let the cruel jokes of people hurt me, yet this man wouldn’t let up. “Next you’ll be telling me you’re Dumbledore or some other nonsense.”
“Headmaster, how does she know your name?” The voice that shoved the drink down my throat earlier spoke hastily. The man didn’t answer but again moved closer to me. As he reached out and laid a warm hand on my shoulder, I felt my head begin to throb in pain.
Instincts kicked in and I slapped his touch away, scrambling from the bed, I tried to ignore the searing burn running through my veins. “Don’t touch me,” I hissed. “Tell me where I am! I’m tired of this joke!”
“I…don’t know what you would like me to tell you my dear girl,” Dumbledore said in a low voice. “You don’t seem to want to believe anything I say.” I sensed his ‘color’ move again and I backed away.
“Headmaster wait!” At the new, much younger voice my head snapped to the direction it came.
“Ah, Mister Black when exactly did you arrive,” the older man said, though he didn’t sound very surprised at the others mysterious arrival.
“Well…umm…” Mr. Black hesitated and I knew my jaw was flapping much like a fish gill out of water. “Anyway, she might just be nervous with all of the adults. Maybe she’d be more relaxed with someone around her own age.” I admited that if I had been in a normal sense of mind, I would have preferred an adult over someone my age. Adults tended to at least hide their discomfort with my defect. People my age tended to shield away as if they’d catch my blindness from just being near me.
My unseeing eyes merely stared ahead of me, thoughts whirling in my head. “Black…” I had brought attention to myself but my mind was too clouded to stop my mouth from moving. “Sirius Black?”
I suppose he was unable to drive away natural response because once the name left my lips his reply was a charming, “The one and only, love.” Even as I felt myself becoming light headed and my body loosing its strength to hold itself up, I imagined the cocky smirk accompanying the declaration. Before anyone could mention another ridiculous claim, my legs gave way beneath me and my eyes rolled into the back of my head. I swore I heard the young man mutter out a low bloody hell before my senses gave way to darkness.
When I awoke I heard two boys talking quietly off to the side of my bed. I took a deep breath but kept my eyes closed. “Am I still in this so called Hogwarts?” I asked skeptically, wondering if I had woken from my dream yet.
“Must be a Muggle,” I heard one of them say matter-of-factly and I held back a groan. These boys were in on the sick prank too.
“Well then how did she know Dumbledore?” The other asked and I knew it was the voice from earlier. “And how did she know me for that matter?”
“Seriously Padfoot?” the first boy asked in aspiration. “You’re telling me you remember every girl you’ve pulled into a broom closet to snog. Maybe she’s one of your conquests.”
I had the urge to remind the two that I was awake and I had asked a question but I was still wrapping my mind around the situation. Plus it was sort of amusing to listen to them bicker like an old married couple.
“I think I’d remember her,” the way he said it made it sound as if I was some sort of monster and I was annoyed by that fact alone. I didn’t even allow myself to breach the fact that the first boy had all but called me some sort of floozy.
Clearing my throat, I forced my body to sit up. “Blind not deaf boys.” From their startled sounds they must have forgotten that I was in the room. I rolled my eyes, wincing as the action caused a sharp sting to the back of my skull. “So who are you supposed to be? Black and Potter I bet, huh?” Silence but I was too used to having my guard up and these people were being unreasonably cruel. “Pity really what happens to you lot,” I mumble turning away from the direction I knew the boys to be in.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sirius demanded.
“Nothing,” I shrugged my shoulders in a uncaring sort of way. “I mean you are a wizard, right, figure it out on your own, Sirius.” I had decided that since I had no other names to call them by, I’d use the ones they pretended to be.
“Brat,” I heard James mutter but I couldn’t bring myself to care. It wasn’t as if he was the real James Potter and he surely wasn’t going to be murdered anytime soon.
My snotty façade was working perfectly well for me and I could hear the boys grumbling beside me. I was waiting for them to leave, wondering why the supposed strict Madam Pomfrey would allow these two boys into her wing. Though my mask quickly crumbled when my stomach gave an unflattering growl of hunger.
“Ah did you hear that Prongs,” Sirius nearly purred in amused satisfaction. “Seems the little she-devil is hungry.” He moved closer and plopped unceremoniously on the edge of my bed. “We can get you something to eat love, if you ask nicely of course.” James was chuckling under his breath and the closeness of the other boy had me unconsciously leaning away from him.
“Nicely you say?” I could feel my anger building, my normally well repressed emotions bubbling to the surface. “You ask me to nice, yet all you people have done is mock me and ignore my demand for answers. I only wish to know where I am so that I may get back home and back to my life.” I could feel the tears of frustration welding in my eyes but I refused to let them fall. “Why should I be nice when you all have done nothing but tease me?!”
I knew I probably made a pitiful sight but I didn’t care. I knew my hair was a mess, my eyes were no doubt red, my lips trembling and my brows knitted together. Suddenly I felt the tension skyrocket and their silence, for once, unsettled me. I wanted them to leave, since they weren’t going to be of any help.
“Prongs why don’t you go to the kitchens and get the little missy something light to eat,” Sirius suggested and James seemed to understand some underline meaning to the words because he left almost immediately. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be left alone with the boy, he’d always been labeled a player of sorts and I had no intention of finding out how far this male had decided to be in character. He was quiet until the hospital door opened and closed, then I felt him shift on the bed.
“I understand that you don’t believe what’s going on but that’s beside the point at the moment,” his voice was so soft and surprisingly reassuring. His cocky attitude was gone and replaced with an awkward sense of understanding that I didn’t even think he knew was there. “How about we start off with names, even if you happen to know mine already.”
I wanted to roll my eyes, this boy was really determined to play the Sirius role. He was waiting so patiently that I couldn’t even entertain the idea of ignoring his request. “Addison…” I mumbled, settling my arms across my chest trying to create some sort of barrier between me and the boy. “Addison Sweets but I like people to call me Addie.”
“Well Sweetsey,” I could hear the grin that I knew was coming, most everyone at least tried to make a play on my last name. “I’m Sirius Black at your service. The boy from before was James Potter, my best mate.” The declaration was said with an amount of pride that I hadn’t known could be related to a friend. “And how about I make you a promise,” he began and I tilted my head at his ability to make me feel comfortable almost effortlessly. “I wont lie to you. No matter if you believe me or not, by my honor as a man and a Marauders, I will never lie to you about the situation you are in.”
I was shocked for a moment, then I wondered if the Marauders honor really meant anything. Peter Pettigrew didn’t seem to think it was worth much. Yet I couldn't voice my claims or my thoughts on the matter. This Sirius seemed so…well serious and I felt bad cutting into his seemingly genuine offer. “Well?” He was waiting for an answer, or even just a reaction.
Turning away from him and tilting my nose up haughtily at him, I huffed. “Do as you please! Your actions don’t matter to me!”
“Brilliant!” he exclaimed happily just as James returned with a tray full of foods. I ate silently as the two boys chattered happily beside me. After I filled my stomach I laid on my side in the bed, my back facing the two who still hadn’t told me their real names. It was odd that I felt so at ease with the two boys in the room with me, and I was able to fall into a restful sleep just listening to their uninteresting conversation about Lily Evans and other girls at school.
I woke up to the gentle hum of a tune I’d never heard. I could feel, rather than see, the person in the chair beside my bed. I noticed it wasn’t either of the boys from the previous night but the man who called himself Dumbledore. “Well good morning,” he said cheerfully. “I apologize that Mr. Black and Mr. Potter could not keep you company but they had classes to attend to. Sixth year is hard enough without missing lessons.” I shrugged and curled into a tight ball on the bed. “If you do not mind I’d like to ask you a few questions.” To the inattentive eye it would look as if I was ignoring the man but I knew that he knew better. “Wonderful but first are you hungry at all? I can call some food for you.”
“No thank you,” I mumbled into my pillow. I was shocked that I had no problem eating the food that James and Sirius supplied but I was hesitant to accept it from this man.
“Alright, well why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself,” he began and I still refused to look his way. “Mr. Black tells me your name is Addison Sweets.”
Biting my lip, I debated the consequences of my actions. There was really no harm in indulging into the prank, maybe if they learned a bit about me they would contact someone who could pick me up. “Yes, that’s my name.” I didn’t really know what he wanted to know so I waited for him to ask.
“And where are you from? How old are you? Do you remember what day it is, or was the last time you were awake? Do you remember how you arrived here?”
“I’m fourteen.” I frowned into my covers and took a deep breath. “I’m from…” I suddenly realized I couldn’t remember where I had lived, I couldn’t even fathom where I was born. “I…the day is…I remember it was,” I could feel the panic rising in my chest and my breath was getting caught in my throat. What was the last thing I could remember? What year was it? “Two-thousand and one,” I managed with a gulp as if the words were hard to say. “It was late in the year, cold. Christmas was coming soon.” My head was throbbing by the time I finished the sentence and my hands had, at one point, rose to clutch it in hopes of alleviating the ache.
“Deep breaths Addison,” Dumbledore said sympathetically. “Do not do anything that is hurting you, it is okay if you cannot remember.”
I shook my head in desperation. I was loosing my mind and I was loosing my hold on the tiny bit of reality that I had left. “Its just a book! It’s not real! Things like magic, house elves and Hippogriff don’t exist!” I turned to my side, burying my head into the pillow. I was nearly screaming, more trying to convince myself than really speaking to anyone. Dumbledore sat in the chair beside my bed, silently listening to my rant. “This is all a dream or else I’m truly going insane. That head shrink they made me see did tell me I wasn’t dealing with my trauma properly, maybe I really have lost my mind completely. I’m probably laying in a hospital bed somewhere with drugs being pumped into my blood stream.” I nodded to myself, finally liking the conclusion I had come to. “Why has my mind put me in this imaginary world while it was on break? I didn’t like some of things that happened in the books there’s no way I want to live through them.”
“You mean to say you think you know what will happen in this world?” he asked, leaning closer to me. I was for once glad that I was unable to see the eye twinkle I knew was so apparent in his many descriptions.
I took the time to think and decide. If this truly was a dream or a hallucination my mind conjured what was wrong with playing along. This fantasy was far better than reality, though I wondered why I was blind even in my dreams. “Well only four of the books have been released so I don’t know how it ends. Though I would think I know enough to know it‘s going to be heartbreaking for a while,” I muttered the last part into my pillow but I figured Dumbledore heard me, he was after all the wizard Harry Potter looked up too.
He was silent for a long while and if I hadn’t felt he was there I might have thought he left without bidding me a farewell. Though when I heard the legs of his chair screech across the ground, I groaned at the sound to my sensitive ears. “I must ask you, Miss Sweets, to keep any knowledge you know of our worlds future to yourself.”
Unconsciously I turned my head toward the man, a frown on my lips and my brows pinched together. That was odd, I thought. I would have imagined that my dream Headmaster would have wanted to know all the details, so that he could meddle and manipulate everything to his advantage. “Professor,” I started, “Or is it Headmaster?” When he didn’t answer I situated my chin onto my pillow and tiled my head in thought. “You can read minds, can you not?” Again no answer but it didn’t deter me. “But I doubt you’d take advantage of a helpless, troubled, blind fourteen year old girl in such a way, right.” The smile I sent him was the largest I’d held in years and the fakest I’d ever managed to stretch onto my face. I hadn’t been able to see the brief look of shame that passed over his face, yet I could feel the sudden, slight hesitation now in his presence.
Shrugging, I turned over again and pulled the thin blanket up to my chin. “I think I’ll go back to sleep.” Moments later I heard the man making his way toward the door, only as he opened the door did I hear him whisper a quiet “Sleep well” back to me.
As the days passed I saw more of Sirius and James. I had even been introduced to Remus and Peter briefly. Dumbledore visited on occasion but he hardly told me anything worth knowing. And when I would ask him when I’d wake up he merely signed and tried again to explain to me that it wasn’t a dream. I soon realized that I didn’t have anywhere to go and Dumbledore seemed more than a little reluctant to let me out of his reach. So as the students began to get more and more curious, I ended up under the ruse of being Dumbledore’s charity case, they had another name for it but I really didn’t care enough to remember it. I didn’t have many rules to follow but I also wasn’t as free as I would have liked.
Leaving the school at anytime was forbidden but I did end up getting many treats from Sirius when he would return from Hogsmeade. The supposed playboy would often accompany me on walks through the school grounds when cabin fever hit me from being in the hospital wing too long.
However, this day I had ventured out on my own. It was with great ease that I slithered through the throng of students. It was easy for me to avoid people, even more so to seem almost invisible to the common eye. I had been thinking about what the Headmaster asked of me and I still wasn’t sure if I’d follow his instructions. It was a great debate I had almost every night before I fell asleep, only to wake up still trapped within my dream.
He had essentially, though unknowingly, told me to allow James and Lily Potter to die. I wasn’t sure if I was okay with that. Technically, if I thought it out long enough, I would be partially responsible for the pairs death if I didn’t at least try to prevent it. I could leave things as they were, I mean I didn’t know how the series ended but I knew enough to know that if this world was somehow real, I’d never forgive myself for allowing such horrible things to happen.
That was another thing that nagged at the logical part of my mind. I had sometimes taken to believing that the world was somehow real and I was an intruder to it. I would quickly squash the thought and remind myself that it was all an illusion that my mind had made up in order to relieve the stress of whatever may have happened to me in reality.
Lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t realized that I turned down a fairly empty corridor. At least that was until I saw the bright green hue in my path. I was intrigued by the sudden burst of color, and even more so by the mud like grayish brown that surrounded the otherwise vibrant sheen.
“Ah, what do we have here?” The voice came from another person who was coming up beside the green blob but I didn’t even glance at them. My misty eyes were concentrating on the odd combination of colors within the silent one. I should have been paying closer attention or at least sensed the leer the new male was sending me but I didn’t.
My hand unconsciously reached out, trying to touch the wonderfully new aura that I’d never experienced. “Stay away from the dark,” my voice was soft and I knew I was frowning. It bothered me to see the beautiful green being suffocated and smothered by the dingy gray tentacles.
It wasn’t until I felt an unknown hand grazing my arm that I’d noticed the other boy had gotten so close. “She’s a rather pretty one, wouldn’t you say Severus?”
Ah, the green blotch had a name, I thought. It was odd that the color began to fluctuate whenever the other boy spoke, but I didn’t have time to wonder why.
“You will remove your hand from me.” When the boy didn’t listen, I turned my glare to his direction. “Now.” Instead of releasing me as I had asked, the boys grip only tightened on my forearm. A sudden sense of dread filled my chest and I was reminded that these weren’t normal muggle boys. These were wizards, they had magic and the upper hand.
“Why you filthy little…”
“Now, now I think you‘ll be letting her go now.” I had never been so relieved to hear a smug males voice before. I wanted nothing more than to pull free from the groper and rush to hide behind my savor. But my feet were glued to the floor, refusing to run to the safety I knew was waiting just behind me. “I think she has already made it rather clear that she’d prefer not to be touched by you.” I felt his chin fall onto my shoulder, his hand and his wand coming over the other and pointing dangerously at the other boy.
I could hear James and some others off to the side, goading and tormenting Severus but I couldn’t tell what either of them were saying. Sirius’ voice rang in my ears, his warmth causing me to shrink back into his larger form for comfort. Finally the other boy let me go and I swore I burrowed a hole into Sirius’ chest. “Good boy, now run along.” Severus had already turned and stalked off, I could see his green being eaten by the gray even more now.
Sirius muttered a quick see you later to James and the two other boys before wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me off into an unknown location. I noticed that his touch hadn’t bothered me, I hadn’t recoiled or sneered like I had at the other boy.
“You alright now?” His voice was beside my ear and I knew he had to hunch down to be at my level. “You aren’t shaking as bad as before. Sorry we were a bit late, I lost you in the crowd for a minute.”
I was trembling, I didn’t know I was but it was slowly subsiding and Sirius’ soothing presence was reassuring. Nodding, I tried to smile up at him but was failing miserably. I had heard the chatter in the halls about the playboy Sirius but I couldn’t merge him with the kind boy that hadn’t been anything but courteous to me. “So how were you doing that?” I must have looked confused because he chuckled under his breath before elaborating. “Not walking into anyone, I mean you are blind right?” The way he said it made it seem like he was suspicious of my lack of abilities to see. He seemed curious enough but I was happy for the subject change.
“I can’t see,” I started but decided that it was safe to continued, he was after all a wizard and a figment of my delusions. “Not like other people can apparently.” I sent him a nervous smile but his color pulsed in interest. It was a grayish color but it was nothing like the dingy, harsh gray that had tried to overtake Severus’ green. It was a smooth color with a hint of blue and warmth that such shades didn’t normally have. “I see…colors.” I didn’t really know how to explain it. When I had first lost my normal sight and began seeing this oddness I had told my doctor, yet I only received disbelieving comments and excuses for the imaginary things I was viewing.
“So you see just the colors…no details or anything?” he asked and he didn’t sound disapproving or mocking.
“No,” I muttered, shaking my head as I thought. I was going to continue this topic even if it was about something I didn’t really know how to talk about. “Like I can’t see things but I can sense people. You for instants…” I stopped and turned to stand in front of him. Raising my hand, I used my pointer finger and laid it on the area over the right side of his chest. “Are a beautiful grayish blue and it burns brightest right there.” My head tilted to the side, a shy smile slipping onto my face. “It shimmers mysteriously and it nearly roars when you are particularly excited.” My hand fell and his color quivered in an odd way that I’d never seen before.
Making a thoughtful sound, I turned on my heel and began walking again, assuming he’d follow. “Everyone’s color is different usually and they react differently in situations. However there are many in this school that I’ve seen that are…” I tried to think of a word to describe the thick gray threads that intertwined within so many of the cores I’d seen around Hogwarts. “They seem tainted.” I stopped, turning again and nearly having Sirius run me over. “That boy before, Severus they said his name was I think, he has it too but his isn’t as dark as the others.”
Sirius’ color flared at the mention of the other boy but I only hmmed in thought. “It’s like something is breaking their true color and replacing it with this horribly ugly gunk.” I tilted my head up, away from the core of color and to where I supposed his face might have been. “Is anything like that normal in this world?” I hadn’t heard how hopefully I sounded at the prospect of not being a freak.
Sirius was quiet for a long minute, and I thought I might have said something stupid. I worried that he would ignore my claims like the doctors did, or that he’d laugh at me like the kids at school did.
“I’ve never heard of power like that,” his voice seemed intrigued if not a bit baffled by my power. “But I’m sure someone around here has. We could ask and find out.”
I thought about it but it only brought a frown to my face. Turning again, I continued my trek back toward the hospital wing, Sirius trailing behind me. “No it’s okay, I prefer not to be subjected to more test and mental exams.”
“Alright, love. Your choice.” He fell into step beside me and I had no problem with the silence that ensured. Sirius on the other hand seemed to loathe its presence. “So what color do you see for Dumbledore, or how about James and Remus and Peter?”
I smirked and shook my head. “Well…”
Another week passed and I wondered if it was possible that I was dead or in a never ending coma. I hadn’t, until then, thought of the possibility that I might not wake up. I was sitting in the boys dormitory, Sirius had gotten permission to show me the common room from Dumbledore. I had told him it was stupid and pointless as I couldn’t see anything and it was all just a big dark room to me with different blotches of colors spread throughout, but he still insisted. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to listen to anything the boys around me were saying.
I was still debating on if I should divulge the information I knew about the Harry Potter universe. I was feeling foolish, actually worrying about figments of my imagination, yet I couldn’t push the feeling away. Abruptly I stood, “I’m going back to the hospital.”
Sirius was up in a second, rather confused as to my behavior but not mentioning anything. “I’ll walk you back,” he offered and I heard the others mumbling ‘Bye Addie’ but I as too lost in thought to answer.
For the most part we walked in silence, the few students in the hall barely glancing at us as we maneuvered through the corridors. “Sirius,” I whispered, nervously reaching my hand out until it hit his warm skin. “What would you do…if you knew something bad was going to happen?” I paused but I didn’t give him time to answer yet.
“Say if you don’t tell anyone and let the bad thing happened it would probably turn out okay in the end but someone important may be lost forever. Yet if you told someone about the bad thing it’s possible that it could stop it from happening but something far worse happens because of it.” My fingers ghosted over his hand as I spoke, lingering on his fingers and grasping them in a desperate need to prove he was really beside me. “Would you risk ruining the end you knew just to stop the heartache you knew was going to happen?”
I felt his hand twist in my own and for a moment I thought he was going to pull it free from my hold, but he only turned it so he could grip mine in return. “I’m not…sure what you mean,” he began and I felt like my world was crumbling around me. I didn’t know who else to ask for their opinion, I didn’t know who else I trusted enough to at least pretend they were real. “But I suppose even with the consequences I’d have to try to stop the bad thing. I don’t like seeing the people I care about get hurt so I’d want to protect them.” I felt him squeeze my hand but my mind was still running a mile minute. I had to decide if I was going to tell someone of the traitorous Pettigrew and the horrible deaths of the Potters.
I didn’t know we had arrived at the hospital wing, nor did I notice that I had already been placed on the bed I’d been given. “You need some rest, Addie.” It was odd hearing someone call me by the nickname, even if I had said I preferred it. Not many listened to my request and I didn’t have many friends in reality to call me so casually. “Tomorrow is a Hogsmeade day and I was thinking of staying back so maybe we can go out for a walk or something, okay?”
At his words I felt a sudden sense of dread and instinctively reached out to grab hold of his retreating form. “Addie?”I snapped back, releasing him as if he burned me and I could feel my cheeks lighting in embarrassment. I didn’t know why I was so frantic about him staying, or why had my throat constricted in a such away when he spoke of tomorrow. “It’s okay Addie, I’ll stay here with you until you fall asleep.” He carefully sat on the bed beside me and laid his hand on my shoulder. “Is it nightmares? I get them sometime too,” he said, leaning in as if to tell me a secret. “But don’t tell anyone it wouldn’t do my reputation any good.”
I smiled at that, turning to crawl into bed, calming at the thought of him staying until I fell asleep. It wasn’t until my eyes had closed and I felt myself falling into the sweet oblivion called sleep that I had come to a shocking realization. I didn’t want to wake up, I didn’t want to return to my reality, I wanted to stay here.
The next day Sirius stayed true to his word and he came to pick me up from the hospital in the early afternoon. He promised to take me outside on to the grounds, which I’d never been before. As we walked he told me more about magic and I managed to get him to talk about the war that was raging outside of the walls of Hogwarts.
It was on our way back to my room that I suddenly felt the dread I’d had the night before return in full force. Within seconds I felt my body jolt with pain, my legs quickly turning to jelly under the intense feeling. I hit the floor before Sirius even noticed I’d stopped walking beside him. Just as soon as I felt the impact with the cold stone, my heart throbbed painfully in my chest. Sirius was kneeling beside me in a flash, his hands hovering over my shoulders. I could hardly hear him calling my name and asking me what was wrong over the sound of blood pumping in my ears. It was when I felt his hands touch my shoulders that I managed to lift my head toward him. I felt the liquid bubbling from my throat, dripping down my chin and from his gasp of shock I figured I wasn’t just drooling.
Scooping me up and holding me to his chest, Sirius rushed through the halls, in the direction that I had no doubt the hospital wing was in. It was only seconds after he had picked me up that my muscles began jumping under my skin. My head laying against his shoulder twitching and my hand jerking as it held onto his outer robes. It was in those few minutes that I made a decision that I had been mulling over for a little under the year I‘d been a residence at Hogwarts. Yet as I opened my mouth to tell him my warnings, I found words were near impossible for me to conjure.
I was loosing hold on my mind, almost unable to even remember what I had wanted to say. “Keeper…” I wheezed, trying to get out the information I knew he had to know. The few quick facts that would give him the knowledge to save those that were dear to him.
“Hush Addie, I’ll get you to Madam Pomfrey and she’ll fix you right up,” I could hear the quake of fear in his voice and it hurt me to know I had put it there.
“Keep secret,” I managed. My mind screaming at me for not being able to form a full proper sentence. “Wolf…always…” A hacking cough stopped my words, I felt the flecks of liquid land on my hand and I knew it was more than likely blood. Why couldn’t I just tell him not to trust Peter, why couldn’t I tell him not to give up the Secret Keeper position to the rat?
“Addie,” he began again and I knew he was going to tell me to stop talking but I had to finish. I had to tell him, so he could keep Lily and James alive, so they could all be happy together. So he didn’t get sent to Azkaban for their murder, so Harry had a family to protect and love him.
Shaking my head, I gripped his robes tighter and gulped down the coppery tasting slosh in my mouth. “Wolf…loyal...always…” I could hear him yell down the hall for the school nurse but I had to make him hear me. “Remember,” I hissed and I felt him stop and look down at me in wonder. “Remember Siri.”
I heard Pomfrey rushing down the hallway and I knew I was going to be ripped away from him soon. Knowing that no one else would know what to do with my rambling, my mind panicked. Words erupted in my head, mixed and muddled. I knew I was moving and it was too late when I felt him lay me in a bed, his warm arms leaving me just as quickly. Even as Pomfrey pushed him out her way, my hand shot out and grabbed onto him.
“Se…Siri…Keeper,” I ground out between my clenched teeth. I felt his shaking hand run over my own trembling one. “Loy..al…Wolf.” I felt him being pulled away and realized Dumbledore and some others had entered while I had tried so desperately to speak. My clouded, sightless eyes stared at Sirius as the Pomfrey rushed around my body trying to decipher what was wrong. I felt his own confused dark pools boring into me. “Siri…” I tried to finish, instead an unbearable sensation pulled a horrible scream from my lungs.
It felt as if my body was deteriorating. Like my skin was burning from my bones, my muscle and tissue disintegrating soon after. I would have heard Sirius screaming my name, if it hadn’t been for my own ear shattering screams echoing in my skull.
It seemed like hours but I never figured out how long it had actually been. Yet I was welcomed into complete darkness soon after my the pain subsided. Complete and total silence surrounded me, and for the second time in my short life I was terrified.
Then like someone was pulling an invisible string that was wrapped around my waist, I was jerked forward. My damaged eyes snapped open, quickly flickering around for the colors I’d depended on until now. A sound caught my ears and it was a frantic beeping that seemed to match the harsh rising and falling of my chest. Soon I heard the rushing of feet coming toward me, for a moment I allowed myself the delusion of it being Sirius and his friends.
Though in my heart I knew it wasn’t and I was soon proven correct when I heard two people enter the room. “Oh!” A distinctively feminine voice sounded to my ears and no sooner was the woman by my side.
“Well, dear can you hear me?” a male followed her, seeming less surprised at my waking than the female. I nodded, still not being able to fully understand what was going on but knowing I should answer. “That’s good, can you talk?” I nodded again, even though I knew he wanted me to answer with my voice. “Do you know where you are?”
It was then that I had finally noticed that the male speaking to me was a voice I was slightly familiar with. “Doc…Doctor Markis?”
“That’s good Addison,” I could hear the smile in his voice but I couldn’t manage to send one back. If this Doctor was beside me, then I was no doubt back in my reality and I couldn’t say I was happy about it. “Do you know how you ended up in the hospital?”
Trying to fight off the tears I had for the loss of my dream world, I shook my head no. I heard him sigh as he continued to check the machines that monitored my bodily functions. “You fell down the stairs at school, you’ve been out of it for quite sometime. I’ll admit I was worried when you didn’t come around after the first few days.” I had to be honest with myself, out of all the doctors I’d been through Markis was one of the ones I hadn’t minded waking up too. He had been one of the first I’d been assigned too after my accident almost three years ago and he spoke to me in a way that wasn’t condescending. Yet even his presence didn’t sooth the ache that now surrounded my heart at my sudden reality check.
“Addison?” I had blocked out his words and hadn’t noticed that I’d let my tears break through. “It’s alright, you’re fine now. There isn’t any reason to cry.” His gentle hand brushed the top of my head in an attempt to console me. Yet I couldn’t stop my mind from screaming at the man for his poor choice of words, even though he had no idea of my situation. How was I to explain to this Doctor that I had been more accepted and cared for in my own drug induced illusions than I had ever in my real life? How did I tell him that I’d never wished for anything more than to drift back into that make-believe world, to be with those I called friends once more?

AN: I normally don't like the whole "bring a real life person into the Harry Potter universe" but as I said this little plot bunny has been nesting in my head for some time and I had to get it out of me so I could work on my other story more. I know it's been done and it's like beating a dead horse but well -shrugs-. Hopefully it isn't too horrid and someone enjoys it. Like I said there is technically more to this story but I haven't the time to start another story just yet. Please forgive any errors (I should really look into getting a beta reader but sadly I don't know anyone who would be interested in such things). Anyway, have a great day. -SS
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Our Faulty Existence