Always Mine | By : RynStar15 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 11545 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the Harry Potter world or characters which belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. I intend no copyright infringement by using the characters therein. |
*THIS IS A SEQUEL TO "NEVER MINE," PLEASE READ THAT FIRST OR ELSE THIS STORY IS NOT GOING TO MAKE A WHOLE LOT OF SENSE!*
...
I had known from the very first it had to be like this. A clean cut healed better than a jagged gash. The only thing I could give her was the easiest way to heal. Her screams tore after me, ripping at my heart and my resolution. But I didn't turn, didn't falter.
I whipped around the corner and continued at my brisk pace, the pain all-but consuming me. I could hear her stop, knew her heart was shattering just as completely as mine. At least I had the comfort of knowing that hers would mend; she would move on, she would make a life, have a family, a future, a chance for happiness. Not something I could say for myself. But the look on her face as I had turned from her for the last time almost had me on my knees, wishing once again that she could find a way to save me, to save us, a way we could have that future I had clung to so desperately these last few months.
But I knew there was not. There was only one solution, one end for someone like me. It was just. It was right.
I couldn't say I regretted Hermione coming into my life; it would be a lie of colossal proportions. She had brought out in me something I had never known existed. I loved her with an intensity that was almost painful. I could die now happily thanks to her. Her pleas to save me had fallen on deaf ears. Didn't she realize she already had saved me?
I was not without regrets, no. I regretted nearly every single thing I had done in my short life, a gnawing pain in my chest reminding me of those atrocious deeds. But this, this I could do without regret. I would give the only thing I could to the Order; kill the last bit of the mother-fucker who had ruined the lives of so many, including my own. I could show Hermione, finally, that I was a different man than the one I had been. I had done everything I could to prepare them. Now it was time to end it, once and for all.
And that began with ending myself.
As I trotted down another staircase I thought back to every moment with Hermione; this was the only thing that was going to get me through these next few minutes, these last endless breaths. I remembered every heartbeat as she had lifted me bodily on that battle field, the fiery gleam in her eyes that war had put there. It was the first time I'd seen her since the manor and she was more beautiful than I had remembered, even in my most vivid dreams. And when she'd given me a choice I had been…speechless. It had been hard to fathom that she was giving me a chance, one last chance at redemption. If she had been anyone other than Hermione Granger, I would have been dead before I could blink, and I wouldn't have blamed them. But she was Hermione Granger; forever forgiving, forever believing in the good of humanity. She had believed in me even when I hadn't believed in myself. She had never given up on me, no matter how dreadfully I treated her.
I had tried hard, so hard, to keep her at bay, to keep her away from all of this. She didn't need to be sucked into my troubles. I had enough to deal with without worrying about her as well. But she had wheedled her way in, and soon I couldn't stand to be without her. I couldn't stop myself from kissing her, from making her mine once and for all. Because I had loved Hermione Granger for as long as I cared to remember.
At first, I had loathed her. Everything from her bushy hair and her buck teeth to her dirty blood and bossy attitude. That loathing had seeped into jealousy as she beat me in every single subject. There was nothing that Granger girl didn't know, nothing she couldn't do better than everyone else in our year. I had seen her dedication, her determination, her loyalty to Potter and Weasley. It sickened me that she trailed after them like a puppy, all but wiping the spittle from their chins. She deserved a man, someone who could challenge her, excite her. Someone like me.
But she had shown me exactly what she thought of my pompous arse when she'd slapped me for making fun of the blundering oaf and his ridiculous pet. I had loved her then. Right at that moment, I had wanted to kiss her, an instinct that was consuming and terrifying, one I knew I must hide at all costs. I would surely be disinherited if my father ever knew I lusted for a Mudblood.
I distinctly remember feeling my first jolt of fear for Hermione, a feeling which would repeat itself many times over the next several years. I'd been standing in a copse of trees watching tents burn and people flee, the Roberts family floating above them all. Then I'd seen her with those bumbling idiots and I'd felt the blood in my veins turn to ice. It made sense that she wouldn't understand the magnitude of danger she was in, but Weasley should have known better. Didn't those morons feel any sense of protectiveness over their endangered friend? Didn't they realize what would happen to her if she were found? I'd done everything to instill that sense of peril, to make them understand that they needed to get her out now! I had kept a close watch on them until they were surrounded by Ministry members and I finally felt safe enough to leave her and return to where I'd been bid to remain until my father came to claim me.
Then at the Yule Ball I had watched her walk into the gleaming Great Hall on the arm of Viktor Krum, an internationally famous Quidditch player, one I had once snuck a poster of into my room before father had found it and torn it down. She had been…radiant. Every inch of her sparkled. She was beautiful. She was perfect.
It wasn't long after that night I realized I risked much more than a title if it were found I had feelings for her. The Dark Lord was back and my father expected me to take my rightful place by his side. If I didn't learn to hide my feelings well I could be killed and Hermione…she would be hunted. She would be in more danger than she already was. And I doubted she ever really knew how much that was. A Mudblood, the best friend to Harry Potter with intelligence rivaling the Dark Lord's at that age. She could make a formidable rival, or a vital ally, though I had made it clear to the Dark Lord from the first that Hermione Granger would never join our side and it would be unwise to attempt, a fact they had realized in her week-long stay at the Manor. A week which had tested me more than any other.
The instant I heard she had been captured and was under the care of none other than my malicious aunt I went straight to her, begging to be taken to the Mudblood, to learn from her torturous ways. A little flattery had gone a long way to my doting Auntie Bella and she had pulled me down to our highest security dungeon cell.
I was almost sick at the sight. Hermione had only been there a few hours but already she had been so brutally beaten she was almost unrecognizable. But I would know her anywhere, she'd been my secret obsession for so long...
I had spared her more cruelty that day by reminding my vicious relative that if she was dead we couldn't question her and she had grudgingly left the girl for the evening. I was taken from the manor the next three days for a Muggle hunt. I was punished more during those days for my wavering attention than I'd ever been, my mind stuck with Hermione where she could meet her death any moment. I couldn't eat or sleep; my stomach in knots until we returned and I once again begged my aunt to let me return with her to our prisoner.
Believing this to be a good sign of my blood-lust, she had taken me back down where I had choked back bile once more. Hermione's face was swollen, blood caked her hair. She had been stripped and lash marks riddled her body, her arm twisted sickeningly at her side, burn marks scorched up and down her legs. One knee was so swollen she couldn't bend it, her right foot was laying on its side, the ankle snapped. She couldn't barely open her blood crusted eyes and hadn't spoken a word, but stared at me, that penetrating gaze boring straight to my heart. I knew I had to get her out of there before they killed her.
When it had been my turn to torture her at Aunt Bella's instruction, I had caught her eye and widened mine, hoping my signal came across, but she just closed her eyes in defeat. I cast the spells while silently producing a Shield Charm at the same time. Scream, I had begged her, but no sound came. Terrified my aunt would figure out my plot, I lifted the spell and turned to her, ready to face my punishment. But she had stridden to Hermione and kicked her over. She'd looked up at me, a sick glee flashing in her eyes.
"Well, my sweet little nephew," she had crooned. "You have learned more than I had bargained. I believe you may have killed the Mudblood wench!"
"NO!" I had shrieked, horrified. Aunt Bella had cackled and hugged me, thinking I had said it in disbelief rather than terror.
"You're going to be just like dear old auntie, aren't you?" she'd muttered, kissing my cheek. I swallowed the lump in my throat, my body numb. Finally, I knelt at Hermione's side and watched. Slowly, she drew in a weak breath and I'd nearly crumpled in relief. She was alive.
"Oh," the demented witch had said dejectedly. "She's just passed out again. Weak little bitch."
I spent the next days trying to sneak water or food down to her but was thwarted, either summoned by another Death Eater or else caught on my way down and having to make some other excuse to hurry away. Finally, a week after her arrival, a meeting was being held for some of the more prominent members and I, not being one of them, was sent to my room. I snuck out, found Hermione's wand in my aunt's room, and raced down to the dungeon, opening the door with my Dark Mark.
Once in I had Stunned her, Disillusioned her, and Levitated her outside. I crept through the shadows, my heart in my throat, sneaking out of the eerily quiet manor. As soon as I had opened the gates with my Mark I undid the spells and shoved her wand into her hand before she was aware of her surroundings. I watched her limp a few steps, looking around disoriented, before Disapparating and my heart had soared. She was safe.
I, however, was not. It turned out my father had seen me sneaking out of the house and had followed, but by the time he had figured out what I had done, she was gone. My punishment and subsequent house arrest had been more than worth it. When Aunt Bella caught wind of what had happened she'd been livid. She'd gone straight to the Dark Lord and the two of them had called me in for a tête-à-tête about my loyalty. Using the Occlumency Severus had taught me, I'd been able to make the claim that I had earned the Order's trust for not killing Dumbledore and that by rescuing "the Mudblood" I was simply saving face.
And those very words had been my downfall.
The Dark Lord figured I was becoming something of a protégée to Snape. He called Snape into the room and asked him about my behavior and my mentor, ever the slick liar, had covered for me smoothly. He apologized profusely for not informing the Dark Lord immediately about our plan but he knew his Lord was busy with other tasks. The Dark Lord had forgiven him as Severus had become his favorite servant and we had been dismissed. Severus had rounded on me and, using Legilimency to learn the truth behind my actions, cursed me soundly, screaming at me to keep me emotions in check as they were what got people killed.
"We only have one chance at this, Draco," he had warned. "I need not impress upon you any further that the quicker we get you into the Order's hands, the better. He has his eyes on you at all times, rescuing Miss Granger was extremely reckless and I urge you not to take any more chances!"
"So what, you would have left her there to die?" I snarled.
"If that is what it takes to convince the Dark Lord I am his servant, then yes. I did not wish this upon the girl, but sacrifices must be made, Draco. You must learn this."
And these were the last words my one true friend ever spoke to me. The very next day we were summoned once more to the Dark Lord's side. I had snuck a nervous glance at Snape, wondering if he knew why we were there. He, however, was as inscrutable as ever and refused to look at me.
"Ah! My most trustworthy spies," the Dark Lord had welcomed us, and I stood straighter, wondering if he had some sort of task for us that would take me to Hermione. "I have brought you here, my faithful friends, to partake in the most important task either of you will ever assist me in."
"I am most honored, my lord," Severus had said, bowing to one knee and I followed suit.
"Yes, I confess myself disappointed it must come to this," he had said coldly and I had snuck a glance up at him where he was pacing, stroking his wand idly.
"My lord?" Snape asked.
"In order for young Draco here to understand, he must be brought up to date in his Lord's endeavors. I beg you to bear with me, Severus."
Then he had told me, in gruesome detail, about the Horcruxes, how he had figured out how to become immortal. I had fought to keep the disgust from my features and my mind blank as he told me he was down one, Nagini, who had been killed by the Mudblood I had seen fit to release.
"And that is why I need you, Draco," he had crooned, kneeling before me and raising my chin with a cold finger so that our faces were even. I had never been so close to him before and his snake-like face was even more terrifying in detail.
"Me, my lord?" I had asked, keeping the nervous tremble from my voice. I could see the veins criss-crossing on his serpentine face and wondered if it was possible that this evil being had ever once been human.
"Yes, young Draco. I believe you are exactly what I need. You see, I require seven Horcruxes to complete my task. I am down one. I must make another, a stronger one. You can prove most valuable, I believe." My heart had contracted and I was suddenly breathless. Surely, he couldn't mean…? "Yes, Draco. You understand me quite well. You will become my next Horcrux."
To my left I saw Snape look over at us, for once his face betraying him. "My lord, he is just a boy!"
"He is of age. He chose to become one of us, did he not?" The Dark Lord had raised my left wrist now which burned at his proximity. I was reminded harshly of taking the Mark just before my sixth year, when I had been handed my first task. I had once thought that would be the greatest pain I would ever endure, but I was finding now that it was nothing compared to the way Hermione could wound me.
"Please, my lord, allow me to take this task," Snape had pled while my terror-clogged brain worked hard to comprehend what was happening. Was I going to die, become some kind of statue with a piece of the Dark Lord's soul lodged inside me?
"Regrettably, Severus, you play a different role in this act," Voldemort said, standing. "You have been most useful to me. I can place no greater praise upon you but that I honor you above all others. However, you have done all you can for me. Except for this." He paced between us where we knelt, our faces raised to watch him. "You see, in order for Mr. Malfoy here to become my strongest weapon yet, I must make a sacrifice. You, Severus, will be that sacrifice."
I was almost sick. I turned to Snape where his wan face was drawn tight. He did not look at me, but continued to watch the Dark Lord pace.
"As I have said, I do not wish to lose you. You have done your part, most admirably. Now it is time for Draco to take your place." He turned his emotionless gaze to me then. "I must admit I cannot tell you how it will feel to become a Horcrux. You will be you, simply with a part of me inside you. You will be the most important vessel in my care. You will gain all of my powers and we will have a rather special connection. You will be more powerful than you can even imagine. You will be given the greatest protection and rewards, for you have an important burden to bear. Draco Abraxas Malfoy, will you take this honor?"
I looked to Snape, unable to breathe or think. He did not look at me but lowered his head ever so slightly, telling me to consent to this horrifying deed. I had to swallow several times before looking up into the Dark Lord's evil eyes.
"Of course, my lord. Thank you, my lord."
"Then rise, my son, and stand by my side, a place you will have from this moment on," he gestured with a smile which only served to make him look slightly unstable. I stood, my head still bowed, and joined him to his right which put me directly in front of Snape who was still looking straight ahead. His eyes finally raised and met mine and I could feel the strength that radiated from him. Here sat the only man who had ever understood me, the only man who had seen me for who I truly was, besides Dumbledore. And now, like Dumbledore, he was about to be lost to me forever.
"And you, my friend," The Dark Lord reached down and Snape reluctantly placed his hand in his. "Rise, and do your duty to your lord." The Dark Lord held his hand until Snape stood and then let go and took a step back, his arm coming out to press me back as well. My heart was pounding, my body numb. This couldn't be happening; I couldn't lose him, not now, not when I needed him most.
"My lord," I pled, Snape catching my eye, his flashing with warning. "Can't-can't we use someone else?"
The Dark Lord laughed coldly. "I understand your reluctance to lose your professor. I have heard of your fondness. However, you will find that will make you all the stronger."
Then he raised his wand arm, my head snapping between them, finally locking on my mentor whose eyes were on me. A moment passed as we looked at each other and I knew he was doing this for me. He had always done everything for me, sacrificed everything. There was so much I wanted to say-
"Avada Kedavra!"
And just like that, Severus Snape crumpled to the floor. I didn't even have time to cry out as pain ripped through me, my chest breaking open. Then a darkness such as I'd never felt raced through my veins, ice cold and overwhelming, and power…power such as should never exist flooded over me, into me, ripping the breath from my lungs. When I opened my eyes I was on all fours, my body suddenly light and tingling. I felt strength…such strength my body could barely contain it.
"Well, Draco?" I stood, looking down at my hands, which looked just as they had before, and up to the Dark Lord. I raised them and lightning crackled through the room, wind and light shattering glass and exploding bookshelves while the Dark Lord laughed, high, cold, and penetrating, a laugh which cut through my soul, a soul that was now no longer mine.
From that day on I left the Dark Lord's side only to sleep. As I found it difficult to contain my newfound power he helped me practice honing it every day. I was at his right side everywhere he went, except when he left. I was not to leave the Malfoy Manor until I could be trusted not to burst out in random fits of magic like an inexperienced eight-year-old.
My father had been in tears of gratitude to be back in the Dark Lord's good grace. My mother had been still as stone and wouldn't meet my eye. As for me…I couldn't look in a mirror. I could feel this…evil…inside me. This blackness that I couldn't describe. I felt dirty and took multiple showers a day as if I could scrub it off.
What had I done?
I had to close off my thoughts now more than ever, terrified I could be read like a book at the Dark Lord's leisure. I had no idea how I could fix this. Not only had I assisted the Dark Lord in becoming stronger, but I now had no idea how to get to the Order without Snape. Even if I did somehow manage to find them, they would never trust me, and how could they when a piece of the Dark Lord's soul was inside me?
The Dark Lord came to me on crisp morning in November and asked me if I was ready. Could I wield the powers I was given, could I follow him onto the battlefield and show them all our invincibility? And the only thought in my head had been of Hermione. She would be there. I knew it. I had to protect her. There was no other choice
So we went to a muddy hillside where a group of Muggle-borns had been hiding out and we decimated them. The Order came, as we knew they would, and we battled. I found I could hold off any person with the slightest of ease, my wand suddenly performing spells I hardly recognized. I tried to get away, to find someone, anyone, who could help me, but the Dark Lord kept an irritatingly close eye on me. I watched as fellow classmates dueled the men and women whom I had grown to know, to hate as much as myself. I itched to join them, to show them that I, too, would do anything to be rid of them, but the Dark Lord's eyes were on me at all times, preventing my escape.
Until Potter scuttled across his path.
The Dark Lord's voice rang through me. Get back to the Manor, I have the boy. Then he grabbed Potter and disappeared in a whirl of cloak.
I was alone. My time had come at last, Snape's words ringing in my ears: "You know what is right, Draco. And you know this is not. Nothing good can come of the Dark Lord's reign. Set aside your prejudice; forget everything you've ever learned from your father. Trust your instincts."
Trust my instincts. I looked to my right and as if in slow motion I watched my father come into view, dueling two Order members at once, his blonde hair whipping around his face. That blonde hair he had passed down to me. His hair, his eyes, his jaw. His cunning. His need for power. His ruthlessness. I was more like him than I cared to admit. But I had gained something from him he'd never considered. I'd gained his determination. I would do anything for what I wanted. And this…this is not what I wanted.
I struck out and never looked back, searching for that thing I wanted above all else. I was hit in the back with a stray Impediment Jinx and sprawled on the icy ground. Before the stars had stopped dancing across my vision I rolled over and stared straight into the bright brown eyes of everything I'd been searching for. I'd already made my choice before she gave it to me. She was it. She was always it.
Out of all of my regrets, choosing Hermione was never one. Never. Despite the pain it caused me to let her go, the joy she had given me in my last months were more than I could have ever deserved. She gave me the strength to do what I had to do now.
I smiled at the thought of beautiful brown eyes and quickened my steps towards the Great Hall.
…
A/N: Welcome back, my lovely readers! I hope you are enjoying Draco's POV. We'll be wrapping up all of our unanswered questions here in the next few chapters so sit back, enjoy the ride, and let me know what you think!
XOXO
RynStar15
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